Happy Couples ....

[RFQ 110]

I know it happens, I've seen it. That doesn't make it right. I believe that if one has a tendency to do this they aren't going to stop just because they were told that MENA men don't like this. Grown adults really shouldn't have to be told not to yell at, berate or "correct" anyone in public. I don't believe in correcting my husband ever as he's not a child.

true agree

Edited July 27, 2012 by RFQ

[Mithra 1,185]

Fuul public service announcement - refried beans are made from pinto beans, fuul is made from fava beans. You can find canned fuul mudamas/fava beans in any Mid Eastern market or section of most grocery stores. They don't taste the same so it's not a proper substitute. The only similarity is texture and even that isn't exact. Egyptian fuul mudamas usually includes cumin, salt, pepper, olive oil and lemon. I also add garlic powder. I mash the beans with a heavy, heat proof cup/glass before serving.

[msheesha 548]

Welcome to VJ MENA inlovedbutstressed! Are you Egyptian? I've only known three Egyptian females on this site. Two were born and raised in the States and one came from Egypt. If you're Muslim there are plenty of those on here too that could offer advice on dietary requirements. Through my Egyptian spouse I've discovered that only the vegetarian refried beans in a can are acceptable because we don't know what kind of lard they say they use in the regular brand. Most of the time we get pinto beans in raw from in the bag from the store. They are much cheaper than the Egyptian beans and the taste is similar I hear. We make batches of it ourselves. If you go out to eat at Mexican food places here they often cook their rice and beans with the leftover lard from bacon they cook in the morning to make them more tasty. So be sure to ask if they do this before you eat it. Also some of the chocolate here carries pig lard. You have to read the labels on things and if it says "natural ingredients" in fine print then know you may be taking a risk because you don't know what those natural ingredients are unless you call the company and ask. There are many stores that sell halal items you just have to see if one is avaliable in your area. Also try googling what the local mosque or islamic center will be in your area that you're going to live. They may have an email you can write them at and they can direct you the women's group and they are very helpful with tips. They may even have a facebook page like our Islamic center does and even our women's group for our city and a facebook page from muslim women in the city. Those would probably be the most helpful with adjustments to the States, cooking questions, making friends, and find items and stores in your area. The Islamic centers I've visited have a diverse group of immigrants and married couples from various Muslim countries. I know many happy long term Egyptian couples in the States that are also not on VJ. Unfortunately often times the horror shows online here get the most attention and are talked about the longest while many of the long term happily married couples, who are finished with the process or mostly finished with the process, move on with there lives from the years of being online, and waiting to be together to being together in person, and more offline. Sometimes more senior members like this will check in from time to time but you have to stick around awhile to see it.

As for the obeying and dominate husband topic that seems to be a touchy subject as you've seen by some of the replies already. I get it though. The Wife obeying the Husband is kind of a cultural thing in Egypt and if you're a good muslim husband and wife it will mean something different to you then if one is a muslim and the other is another religion or no religion. The Arab men have a pride of being the leader of the family and that doesn't mean without respecting their Wives too. The men have their duties such as providing for the Wife and family while the women have their duties such as cooking and cleaning and taking care of the home. It's more a traditional way of thinking than a progressive or liberal western society way of thinking. I think when they talk about obeying the husband just wants love, trust and respect and in return he gives that to his wife and family. They don't like to be told no in public because it seems disrespectuful, but you will have an ear for discussion about an issue in private. I suspect it also comes from a more ancient patriarical society where the men are the leaders and elder of the tribes and they have a brotherhood and make the important decisions for the community. Some men who may have ignorance, corruption or evil in their hearts will take this message out of context and manipulate it for bad purposes. Some version of this can also happen in every society.

There was one reply before yours, in which FBI stats on DV were calmly and objectively quoted. There were not plural replies as you indicate, nor did that one reply = a touchy subject. That was quite a leap.

The reality is if a woman will connect herself to domineering, overbearing, possibly abusive man of one culture, she'd connect herself to a domineering, overbearing, possibly abusive man of any other culture.

If you use culture as an excuse for poor behavior, you would use another excuse in another relationship for poor behavior. It's personality traits and dynamics overlooked, ignored or excused by "culture".

Edited July 27, 2012 by msheesha

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

Yep! Happily married now for 6yrs this past Sunday Hubby has been here for 4 1/2 yrs and is waiting on his oath ceremony letter.

We drive into Houston occasionally to buy the mid eastern groceries like fresh pita bread, fuul, a certain cheese he likes, basterma, lamb or beef sausage, egyptian rice, and other little things they have. He does like refried beans but not the same way as his fuul. He actually made homemade bread last night & we ate boiled eggs, beets and the bread he made. Adam & I do work alot but whenever we are together we spend it going places together- restaurants, mall, movies, or whatever. We always have a great time in whatever we do. If we are home just relaxing, he has his arabic tv through https://www.elafnettv.com// I told him yesterday that one day Im just going to learn awhole bunch of arabic so I can understand what the movies are always laughing or singing about in arabic. It seems like every show he watches they laugh like crazy or they break out in singing mode. I love it!

Since we moved to Texas 3yrs ago we live very close to alot of my family. Most all of my family works alot but when we come together we all have a great time whether we go out shooting pool, playing card & board games at our moms house or going fishing down in galveston. Hubby loves fishing and so does my mom & grandfather. I just like to get a tan

I really enjoy my life with my husband and he definitely is a blessing in my life!

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Wael and I are still hanging around! Married almost 6 yrs. He's been here for 4 1/2 yrs and became a citizen last year.

Having just obtained his MBA in May, he now has a position as a Sr Financial Analyst with a firm in Scottsdale, AZ!

I'm happy, he's happy!

[inlovebutstressed 1]

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/355679-has-marriage-life-been-what-you-expected/page__st__15 I think I meant to send you this topic. Sorry about so many posts. I am Scatter brained today, up since 3 am

Oh you guys are the cutest and I agree totally my man is the sweetest too, I am happy to get your post thanks a million !!! Love the video !!!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I've found treating my husband like a novelty item has been

very beneficial for us. I highlight all his weird and foreign foreign-ness at every possible turn, and it's working out really well.

OMG LOL

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Fuul public service announcement - refried beans are made from pinto beans, fuul is made from fava beans. You can find canned fuul mudamas/fava beans in any Mid Eastern market or section of most grocery stores. They don't taste the same so it's not a proper substitute. The only similarity is texture and even that isn't exact. Egyptian fuul mudamas usually includes cumin, salt, pepper, olive oil and lemon. I also add garlic powder. I mash the beans with a heavy, heat proof cup/glass before serving.

online on amazon ..none the less

http://www.amazon.com/Foul-Medammas-Cooked-Beans-Cortas/dp/B000LQN5XW/ref=sr_1_5?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1343573524&sr=1-5&keywords=canned+fava+beanshttp://www.amazon.com/Foul-Medammas-Cooked-Beans-Cortas/dp/B000LQN5XW/ref=sr_1_5?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1343573524&sr=1-5&keywords=canned+fava+beans

[inlovebutstressed 1]

Welcome to VJ MENA inlovedbutstressed! Are you Egyptian? I've only known three Egyptian females on this site. Two were born and raised in the States and one came from Egypt. If you're Muslim there are plenty of those on here too that could offer advice on dietary requirements. Through my Egyptian spouse I've discovered that only the vegetarian refried beans in a can are acceptable because we don't know what kind of lard they say they use in the regular brand. Most of the time we get pinto beans in raw from in the bag from the store. They are much cheaper than the Egyptian beans and the taste is similar I hear. We make batches of it ourselves. If you go out to eat at Mexican food places here they often cook their rice and beans with the leftover lard from bacon they cook in the morning to make them more tasty. So be sure to ask if they do this before you eat it. Also some of the chocolate here carries pig lard. You have to read the labels on things and if it says "natural ingredients" in fine print then know you may be taking a risk because you don't know what those natural ingredients are unless you call the company and ask. There are many stores that sell halal items you just have to see if one is avaliable in your area. Also try googling what the local mosque or islamic center will be in your area that you're going to live. They may have an email you can write them at and they can direct you the women's group and they are very helpful with tips. They may even have a facebook page like our Islamic center does and even our women's group for our city and a facebook page from muslim women in the city. Those would probably be the most helpful with adjustments to the States, cooking questions, making friends, and find items and stores in your area. The Islamic centers I've visited have a diverse group of immigrants and married couples from various Muslim countries. I know many happy long term Egyptian couples in the States that are also not on VJ. Unfortunately often times the horror shows online here get the most attention and are talked about the longest while many of the long term happily married couples, who are finished with the process or mostly finished with the process, move on with there lives from the years of being online, and waiting to be together to being together in person, and more offline. Sometimes more senior members like this will check in from time to time but you have to stick around awhile to see it.

As for the obeying and dominate husband topic that seems to be a touchy subject as you've seen by some of the replies already. I get it though. The Wife obeying the Husband is kind of a cultural thing in Egypt and if you're a good muslim husband and wife it will mean something different to you then if one is a muslim and the other is another religion or no religion. The Arab men have a pride of being the leader of the family and that doesn't mean without respecting their Wives too. The men have their duties such as providing for the Wife and family while the women have their duties such as cooking and cleaning and taking care of the home. It's more a traditional way of thinking than a progressive or liberal western society way of thinking. I think when they talk about obeying the husband just wants love, trust and respect and in return he gives that to his wife and family. They don't like to be told no in public because it seems disrespectuful, but you will have an ear for discussion about an issue in private. I suspect it also comes from a more ancient patriarical society where the men are the leaders and elder of the tribes and they have a brotherhood and make the important decisions for the community. Some men who may have ignorance, corruption or evil in their hearts will take this message out of context and manipulate it for bad purposes. Some version of this can also happen in every society.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I'm not sure if there was supposed to be a reply to the above? ^

Thanks for the link to the Amazon fava beans. I'll let others know about it. The recommendation for pinto beans in place of fava beans doesn't come from me actually but from Egyptian communities in three different States. It seems they've all found that fava beans in the import stores are way more expensive and difficult to find at the regular grocer. The pinto beans are far less expensive and easy to find, they are the same beans used in refriend beans in a can, and they can add the same spices to them to where they taste similar. YMMV.

[Mithra 1,185]

I pay 79-99 cents a can for fava beans. Same price or less than I would pay for a can of refried beans. How is this expensive?

BTW - the use of fava beans/fuul is not exclusive to Egyptians.

[Mithra 1,185]

Holy #######....$7+ for shipping on a can of beans?!

online on amazon ..none the less

http://www.amazon.com/Foul-Medammas-Cooked-Beans-Cortas/dp/B000LQN5XW/ref=sr_1_5?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1343573524&sr=1-5&keywords=canned+fava+beanshttp://www.amazon.com/Foul-Medammas-Cooked-Beans-Cortas/dp/B000LQN5XW/ref=sr_1_5?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1343573524&sr=1-5&keywords=canned+fava+beans

[Ihavequestions 419]

Holy #######....$7+ for shipping on a can of beans?!

Must be because they're "new".

[Peace.... 281]

I'm not sure if there was supposed to be a reply to the above? ^

Thanks for the link to the Amazon fava beans. I'll let others know about it. The recommendation for pinto beans in place of fava beans doesn't come from me actually but from Egyptian communities in three different States. It seems they've all found that fava beans in the import stores are way more expensive and difficult to find at the regular grocer. The pinto beans are far less expensive and easy to find, they are the same beans used in refriend beans in a can, and they can add the same spices to them to where they taste similar. YMMV.

Unsure why it so expensive there. Every grocery store I go to, I find them to range from 69 to 99 cents a can. They are widely used in Morocco as well with many dishes. My husband buys them dried and uses them in soups as well. We have a international store here in Cincinnati and its amazing. It's called Jungle Jims and they are the largest international store I have ever seen. I have never seen so many different isles of countries in my days of shopping, they have something for almost every one. They most likely ship if you really cant find them cheaper. Just last week, I bought fava beans and chick peas mixed for 59 cents there. My husband was so impressed that we could go and buy so many different things from Morocco there that would be so hard to find anywhere else. I wish everyone had a Jungle Jim in there hometown as you would just love it.

Take and look its amazing...

http://www.junglejims.com/

Edited August 1, 2012 by foreverwaiting

[venusfire503 54]

Sorry this is so short - it's late, and I really need to get to bed. I just happened to see your thread, and wanted to chime in. My husband and I are very happy. We've been together for more than 6 years now (he's been here more than 5-1/2 of those). We both hated when (small minded) people assumed he was just with me for - well, first the visa, then the green card, then citizenship - just because he was from a MENA country. Now that he's been a citizen for more than a year, those people have finally shut up!

heehee

I wish I had time to read though what everyone else has to say (hopefully another day, soon). I just remember how scary it was at times, hearing the worst of what could happen, and loving to hear the happy stories. Now we are one of the happy stories!

Best of luck to all!

venusfire