Mena Divorce

[sarah and hicham 3]

I don't see any judgements being made here.

No I don't have kids, and no I have never been abused but I still said what I "would like to think I would do if I were ever in that situation". I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I think it's ok to share opinions and discuss topics even if those commenting have never experienced something. That's how we learn.

I think it's great that Tammy and Dee are so willing to share and be open about their situations.

Saying what you think you would do is one thing, but when you are actually faced with it, its another thing. Its great to share opinions and discuss but at the same time just because someone is being open about their situation doesn't mean we know everything.

The only point I am trying to make is that being in an abusive relationship is not always as simple as its cracked up to be.

I have never come across as if I know what they are going through. I don't know what else I can say to make it clear that I am not pretending to know what they are going through. I also never said an abusive relationship is simple in any way. My words are being misconstrued.

I didn't know I wasn't allowed to post or make comments unless I have been abused.

[AichaKandisha 0]

Dee:

Ditto to what Doodle said. You are a far more stronger person to have experienced what you have experienced and continue to experience. You will have the ability to console another and have compassion for another that may need your help on down the road that is going through what you've been through.

lol.. are you sure your thinking of the right person??

YOU are exactly the person that I'm thinking of! NO ONE goes through what you've been through that isn't a strong and resiliant person. There is a reason for all you are experiencing and I think there are great things ahead for you because of it. For anyone to judge you or criticize you are only showing you and the rest of us their weaknesses.

lol... http://youtube.com/watch?v=Xv6lHwWwO3w

this goes out to all the ladies in a similair situation

inspired by Rebecca

Except you're singing new words: instead of "I should have changed those stupid locks" - "I CHANGED those stupid locks!!" You GO girl!!!!!!!!!!! Move over Gloria, Dee's singin' a new tune!

[♥JP♥ 5]

I don't see any judgements being made here.

No I don't have kids, and no I have never been abused but I still said what I "would like to think I would do if I were ever in that situation". I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I think it's ok to share opinions and discuss topics even if those commenting have never experienced something. That's how we learn.

I think it's great that Tammy and Dee are so willing to share and be open about their situations.

Saying what you think you would do is one thing, but when you are actually faced with it, its another thing. Its great to share opinions and discuss but at the same time just because someone is being open about their situation doesn't mean we know everything.

The only point I am trying to make is that being in an abusive relationship is not always as simple as its cracked up to be.

I have never come across as if I know what they are going through. I don't know what else I can say to make it clear that I am not pretending to know what they are going through. I also never said an abusive relationship is simple in any way. My words are being misconstrued.

I didn't know I wasn't allowed to post or make comments unless I have been abused.

LOL, I never said you werent allowed to post. But your initial post to Dee made it seem like you thought it was a simple situation.

[deemabrouk 0]

I don't see any judgements being made here.

No I don't have kids, and no I have never been abused but I still said what I "would like to think I would do if I were ever in that situation". I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I think it's ok to share opinions and discuss topics even if those commenting have never experienced something. That's how we learn.

I think it's great that Tammy and Dee are so willing to share and be open about their situations.

Saying what you think you would do is one thing, but when you are actually faced with it, its another thing. Its great to share opinions and discuss but at the same time just because someone is being open about their situation doesn't mean we know everything.

The only point I am trying to make is that being in an abusive relationship is not always as simple as its cracked up to be.

I have never come across as if I know what they are going through. I don't know what else I can say to make it clear that I am not pretending to know what they are going through. I also never said an abusive relationship is simple in any way. My words are being misconstrued.

I didn't know I wasn't allowed to post or make comments unless I have been abused.

I think it was the part were you wrote "it's sad" that struck a nerve with me.. cause I am trying my best to not be a stupid woman... not getting out of a bad situation

Edited September 19, 2007 by deemabrouk

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I don't see any judgements being made here.

No I don't have kids, and no I have never been abused but I still said what I "would like to think I would do if I were ever in that situation". I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I think it's ok to share opinions and discuss topics even if those commenting have never experienced something. That's how we learn.

I think it's great that Tammy and Dee are so willing to share and be open about their situations.

Saying what you think you would do is one thing, but when you are actually faced with it, its another thing. Its great to share opinions and discuss but at the same time just because someone is being open about their situation doesn't mean we know everything.

The only point I am trying to make is that being in an abusive relationship is not always as simple as its cracked up to be.

I have never come across as if I know what they are going through. I don't know what else I can say to make it clear that I am not pretending to know what they are going through. I also never said an abusive relationship is simple in any way. My words are being misconstrued.

I didn't know I wasn't allowed to post or make comments unless I have been abused.

I think it was the part were you wrote "it's sad" that struck a nerve with me.. cause I am trying my best to not be a stupid woman... not getting out of a bad situation

dont worry dear you are anything but stupid, people that havent been there have no way to know

[MelindaandTarek 0]

First, let me start by saying thank you for all the support I recieved from everyone here. All of the kindness and well wishes have been inspiring.

After a long conversation with my husband yesterday, we were able to realize that there are things in our marriage that we both have to work on. Someimes, acknowledging that there is a problem is the bigggest step, and coming to a mutual agreement of how to fix it is the hardest.

Loving someone, marriage, is a huge responsility. Adding time and distance to it only makes it harder. It's hard sometimes to not want to just give up because it seems the easiest thing to do. I never thought this would be easy, but I never knew it would be so hard, but I don't regret one single step I have taken on this journey. I have discovered a lot about myself, and I like the woman I have become because of it, much more so that I did before. Tomorrow brings so many amazing possibilites, if you only let yourself open up to them.

This is so much more than a visa journey, it is also a journey of self discovery. May we all arrive at our destination soon.

wow - ur words here are moving and i wish you all the best whatever path your journey takes you....

[MelindaandTarek 0]

I just finished reading the entire post and just felt compeled to post again...re:domestic violence IMO - and from my experience both personal and professional (DV advocate for 3 years at a local crisis center) until a person understands the cycle of abuse and that the aspect of DV is the the victim is made to believe the abuse is his/her fault the person cant begin to understand why on average it takes about 7 or 8 times for a victim to leave the abuser...And as well, and the tactics used by the aggressor really are crazy making behaviors and that is the abuser's intention really IMO - - .... and it just takes some education on any person's part regarding the dynamics of an abusive relationships to understand why it is easier said than done to leave......so to Dee - - you are strong and amazing for what you are going through...and in time you will come to see yourself as many others do here - as a strong, beautiful amazing woman!!!!!

Also wanted to add regarding integrating children with ones SO prior to arrival in the US...I guess for me, I feel like there needs to be some balance..I dont want my chilldren to be immersed in every detail of my rel w/my SO, however I do want them to know some basics about him and be able to connect a voice, face w/him. I didnt want there to just have this person appear in the US w/o any preparation..and I agree that much of the relationship building will be in-person....and totally agree as far as the stepdad replacement....my ex is involved w/the children and I see my SO as another healthy supportive adult person in their life and I have had generic conversations with my children about roles as I think boundaries are very very important........anywho my ex is not so good about the talking to the children so I am covering for us both...anywho..sorry for the long rant...hope it makes sense.......

take care everyone, Melinda

[sarah and hicham 3]

I don't see any judgements being made here.

No I don't have kids, and no I have never been abused but I still said what I "would like to think I would do if I were ever in that situation". I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

I think it's ok to share opinions and discuss topics even if those commenting have never experienced something. That's how we learn.

I think it's great that Tammy and Dee are so willing to share and be open about their situations.

Saying what you think you would do is one thing, but when you are actually faced with it, its another thing. Its great to share opinions and discuss but at the same time just because someone is being open about their situation doesn't mean we know everything.

The only point I am trying to make is that being in an abusive relationship is not always as simple as its cracked up to be.

I have never come across as if I know what they are going through. I don't know what else I can say to make it clear that I am not pretending to know what they are going through. I also never said an abusive relationship is simple in any way. My words are being misconstrued.

I didn't know I wasn't allowed to post or make comments unless I have been abused.

I think it was the part were you wrote "it's sad" that struck a nerve with me.. cause I am trying my best to not be a stupid woman... not getting out of a bad situation

Yes, I do think what happened to you is sad. I have never thought or said anything is your fault whatsoever and I think it's sad that this happened to you.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Hi.

Jackie

[sarah and hicham 3]

Hi.

Jackie

Hello! What's crackin'?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

How does a woman go about obtaining a divorce from her husband in Jordan? The marriage took place in Jordan. Immigration is being processed. Should the filing be done here in the US? How to inform him of the divorce? Anyone have any ideas, or suggestions?

Tammy, there are many things going on here. First, if this is a play for a greencard, its better to get him out of your life over there than waste money and time bringing him here and then dealing with emotional black mail. Been there done that. Second, you can get divorced over here by doing whats called publication. The first stop you need to make is the county courthouse. Each county is different. Mine allows self filing and then you can publish and then in like 4 months you are divorced. As far as trying to make the right decision , there are no "right " decisions. I was horribly abused by a MENA man for several years who brought absolute hell into my life. I felt sorry for him over and over because he was from an OPRESSED area of the middle east but the whole poor me stuff wore thin after years of infidelity ,battering and his connections to organized crime and all his creepy freaky friends ( from the same country of course) a collection of crack heads, wife beaters and convenience store owners ( um muslims selling pork rinds... ya get the picture) Anyway, if you think getting people here is hard, try getting them out of your life if they AINT ADJUSTED STATUS. Then you are in for the water works and all kinds of poor me junk. If he is not there for you while this AP is going on and isnt acting like a loving supporting husband, it sounds like your hunch is right. As bad as that seems. You have a couple of choices. You can A. Send him a post nuptual with a rider that turns into a divorce agreement and then bring him here. This gives you an instant settlement. Done it. It works. Not in their favor ( hahahahah) or B. You can ditch him there. All the atta girl remarks on here won't wipe out the simple truth that you need to make some sucky decisions. Getting this post nup drawn up with a divorce codecil in there and having him sign it before coming here gives you the best of both worlds. It lets you feel things out but turns into a property settlement and a divorce settlement if things go south. Mine cost about 1000 but it can be much cheaper. Its called a post nup. Mine saved my money and my sanity.

You do not need pats on the head. You need to really make a decision about what this relationship means to you. If you dont tell him straight up that you may leave him, you are toying with his life and somehow his feelings have gotten lost in all of these postings. Maybe he really is busy and trying not to think about this wait and you are needing support. Maybe he isnt good at this support ( I am playing devils advocate by the way) Did you know some people from Jordan go overseas and work for 2 years and dont see their wives. Not all mena men are good at coddling. Maybe you are needing more than he is capable of giving right now. Maybe he really is just busy. Or maybe he is using you for papers. Only you will know. Think about getting a post nup. It will calm your fears of bringing him here and then he is a loser and you cant get rid of him. Oh and find an arabic attorney . I found one. Female with hijab ( I think she can do stuff out of state) Boy did she kick his rear end. At signing he told her TELL HER ANYTHING SHE WANTS TO HEAR. To that she replied in ARABIC. I am representing her.. And he ended up signing it... and when he pulled his violence and his lying and cheating and freaky #######, I was out the door and he couldnt stop me cause I HAD A POST NUP. Think about it. Trust your mom and your sense of smell. Everyone and everything else is up for grabs bb

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

How does a woman go about obtaining a divorce from her husband in Jordan? The marriage took place in Jordan. Immigration is being processed. Should the filing be done here in the US? How to inform him of the divorce? Anyone have any ideas, or suggestions?

POST NUPTUAL AGREEMENTS

[AInfante-Saraireh 0]

How does a woman go about obtaining a divorce from her husband in Jordan? The marriage took place in Jordan. Immigration is being processed. Should the filing be done here in the US? How to inform him of the divorce? Anyone have any ideas, or suggestions?

Sorry to hear you may be going through a divorce, Tammy. You would file here but also let the embassy in Jordan know by email with case number that you have renigged and filing for a divorce. When you divorce here, it's for everywhere. You don't have to go back to Jordan to do this. I pray you find peace in your life.

Andrea

[peezey 0]

How does a woman go about obtaining a divorce from her husband in Jordan? The marriage took place in Jordan. Immigration is being processed. Should the filing be done here in the US? How to inform him of the divorce? Anyone have any ideas, or suggestions?

Sorry to hear you may be going through a divorce, Tammy. You would file here but also let the embassy in Jordan know by email with case number that you have renigged and filing for a divorce. When you divorce here, it's for everywhere. You don't have to go back to Jordan to do this. I pray you find peace in your life.

Andrea

I think people should renege on using words they don't know how to spell.

[deemabrouk 0]

How does a woman go about obtaining a divorce from her husband in Jordan? The marriage took place in Jordan. Immigration is being processed. Should the filing be done here in the US? How to inform him of the divorce? Anyone have any ideas, or suggestions?

Sorry to hear you may be going through a divorce, Tammy. You would file here but also let the embassy in Jordan know by email with case number that you have renigged and filing for a divorce. When you divorce here, it's for everywhere. You don't have to go back to Jordan to do this. I pray you find peace in your life.

Andrea

I think people should renege on using words they don't know how to spell.

ahhhhh.. so thats how you spell it