Yardies, at home and a farrin' (Part 4)

[BelwinMills 0]

And whether or not our husbands are here or not means absolutely nothing to the matter in which we handle our relationships.

You are in for so many surprises when the time comes. You have no idea......

Not neccessarily. Everybody's experience is different. Although it appears the norm is a lot of struggle with him adapting to the different culture, some people do not experience it at all. I KNOW for a fact a few people that didn't have ONE day of the relationship changing when the Jamaican man got here.

I pray that Marlita is one of those.

One of my favorite sayings is "Expect the worst, but HOPE for the best". I think the more prepared you are for what might happen and the big adjustments that must be made, the better you will handle the situation. And yes, every relationship is different. It also seeme easier for those who did the K3 or Cr1 because their husbands could work right away. That's one of the most difficult things for some men - sitting at home doing nothing for months on end!

Yes this route was the best for us. Hubby only sat around for 2 months. Then he started school and found a part time job. He got his drivers licenses in a month and 1/2 and had his freedom. Like Rhonda said there are positive stories. We are going strong and excited for our child to come along. I think one thing that helped is that we have a wonderful neighbor who lived in Jamaica for a year and moved over here on a visa from West Africa. Please don't forget their are a lot of happy endings. Your relationship will change some when he arrives. A lot of new things and adjustments of living together. The vets have heard Kelly's stories forever. If it is not I would get out but I wish you the best on your life decision. Every one lives their lives and relationships and I feel that is none of my business to speak about. My father taught me mind your own business and that everyone is different on how they lead their lives. I wish everyone the best when there husband or SO gets here. This board helped me with understanding the adjustment. Enough said.

[JA Tam 7]

So mr jengles told me that he didn't have to take a road test to get his license in JA. I was in disbelief (even though it would explain so much) . He said all he had to do was take a reading and vision test. So they want JA drivers to be able to read where they going and see where they going...but could care less if their able to stay on the road. He said most people get a "few lessons" AFTER they get their license if they know someone with a car...

Okay??!!! ...I learned to drive in Jamaica and when I got my license (maybe it's different in the Corporate area than country), but I had to do the written test, reading, vision, yard and road test. Loved the yard test - hill start, parallel parking and reversing in a S. When I went for my license first (I was 17), they failed me because I didn't stay in my lane on a road that is as wide enough fi ongle 1 car pass (this was in Spanish Town). I couldn't even go to school I was crying so much. Rush home and call Daddy.

FYI - nuff people buy license a JA.

Edited November 9, 2007 by JA Tam

[JA Tam 7]

**Newby-wed list and all is good so far*

Sarah & Marlon 10/13/2007

Kimmy&Kashi...strong strong

***I may be a newbie to the thread, but...

Tam & Aaron - 4 years (less a month and a week) and going strong

[Tricia B 0]

I am interested in seeing this book because patois changes everyday with new words/sayings that people use for a short period of time until something new comes along (i bet you next year you won't be hearing frass, sell off, or tek weh yuhself as much as you do now). The way my parents speak is not the way my husband speaks and sometimes they can't even understand him. I believe one has to immerse themselves in the culture to stay up on the dialect which is phonetically written so there is no standard. you spell it how it sounds to you for the most part. i personally listen to dancehall to stay on point.

I view patois as a dialect not an official written language to be found in textbooks like what the powers that be have deemed romance languages.

Meaning of dialect:

A regional or social variety of a language distinguished by pronunciation, grammar, or vocabulary, especially a variety of speech differing from the standard literary language or speech pattern of the culture in which it exists: Cockney is a dialect of English.

A variety of language that with other varieties constitutes a single language of which no single variety is standard: the dialects of Ancient Greek.

The language peculiar to the members of a group, especially in an occupation; jargon: the dialect of science.

The manner or style of expressing oneself in language or the arts.

A language considered as part of a larger family of languages or a linguistic branch. Not in scientific use: Spanish and French are Romance dialects.

That being said like all other dialects patois should be respected and valid regardless of whether or not it is used in school or written in books or posted on threads. It encompasses a people, a history and culture that delves into the very definition of who they are, where they come from, what they have been through and how they relate

Ebonics which includes african-american dialects, patios, creole, etc derives from the nigerian/congo language/region, primarily a spoken language which does not use certain letters like r and h hence you will see people say sista instead of sister or im instead of him. These are languages that have been in existence long before any european languages and deserve respect and recognition. I find it insulting when anyone (jamaicans included) associate ebonics to being ignorant or unofficial because not found in books (in my mind that just because these dialects are black) and while important to know the Queen's English because there is a time and a place for everything, I do not condone conforming to it if that's not your natural way of speaking in an informal setting (like the yardie thread which in title itself is patois) or else when do you get to be yourself, too many americans go places and expect people to speak english instead of learning the language so i say learn patience and embrace how jamaicans speak in writing as you would if they were talking to you in person or would you not allow that if this was a phone thread?

i personally hate when jamaicans put on a twang to speak to me i find it fake and part trickery.

Oh here is the book name. I found it. Understanding Jamaican Patois: An Introduction to Afro-Jamaican Grammar

[jawi876 2]

B)-->

QUOTE(Tricia B @ Nov 8 2007, 10:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I am interested in seeing this book because patois changes everyday with new words/sayings that people use for a short period of time until something new comes along (i bet you next year you won't be hearing frass, sell off, or tek weh yuhself as much as you do now). The way my parents speak is not the way my husband speaks and sometimes they can't even understand him. I believe one has to immerse themselves in the culture to stay up on the dialect which is phonetically written so there is no standard. you spell it how it sounds to you for the most part. i personally listen to dancehall to stay on point.

I view patois as a dialect not an official written language to be found in textbooks like what the powers that be have deemed romance languages.

Meaning of dialect:

A regional or social variety of a language distinguished by pronunciation, grammar, or vocabulary, especially a variety of speech differing from the standard literary language or speech pattern of the culture in which it exists: Cockney is a dialect of English.

A variety of language that with other varieties constitutes a single language of which no single variety is standard: the dialects of Ancient Greek.

The language peculiar to the members of a group, especially in an occupation; jargon: the dialect of science.

The manner or style of expressing oneself in language or the arts.

A language considered as part of a larger family of languages or a linguistic branch. Not in scientific use: Spanish and French are Romance dialects.

That being said like all other dialects patois should be respected and valid regardless of whether or not it is used in school or written in books or posted on threads. It encompasses a people, a history and culture that delves into the very definition of who they are, where they come from, what they have been through and how they relate

Ebonics which includes african-american dialects, patios, creole, etc derives from the nigerian/congo language/region, primarily a spoken language which does not use certain letters like r and h hence you will see people say sista instead of sister or im instead of him. These are languages that have been in existence long before any european languages and deserve respect and recognition. I find it insulting when anyone (jamaicans included) associate ebonics to being ignorant or unofficial because not found in books (in my mind that just because these dialects are black) and while important to know the Queen's English because there is a time and a place for everything, I do not condone conforming to it if that's not your natural way of speaking in an informal setting (like the yardie thread which in title itself is patois) or else when do you get to be yourself, too many americans go places and expect people to speak english instead of learning the language so i say learn patience and embrace how jamaicans speak in writing as you would if they were talking to you in person or would you not allow that if this was a phone thread?

i personally hate when jamaicans put on a twang to speak to me i find it fake and part trickery.

Oh here is the book name. I found it. Understanding Jamaican Patois: An Introduction to Afro-Jamaican Grammar

*skankin*

Boooyahkah...booyahkah! Brap! Brap! Wheel and come agen! PULLLLLLL UPPPP!!! Bullet! Bullet!!!

Yep, what you said.

[brownnskinn 0]

B)-->

QUOTE(Tricia B @ Nov 6 2007, 10:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Fi Real, nannygirl, sorry to hear that but at least rest assured that you will get something beautiful and great out of all this in a few months.

well this has been a hard couple of days for me....i have talked on pm to some about this....but sadly mike and i will be parting ways....i have come to the desicion that he is not the right person for me and will NEVER change....i really did change when he got here....but didn't start going downhill until we got married....this has been so hard to deal with and decide what i need to do....saftey is the first issue and mike has a horrible temper....and i had to call the police on him sunday night....not going into any real details but they police were called...no arrest was made because nothing physical happend to me or our dog....i says he wants another chance....but really how many chances does one person derserve???? he has made me promises about change and nothing has only has gotten worse.....i am not sure if we will divorce but we do need time away from each other as a couple....i think we are better friends then as a married couple.....i will still be checking in and see how everyone is doing......

I am sorry to hear of all this going on, especially while you're pregnant. Take this time to focus on you and your baby.

Ditto...Focus on you and the baby for a while, you are both young and honestly, your husband has a lot of growing to do.

[brownnskinn 0]

Not me! I LOVE rum! Rum & Coke has been my favorite drink for a looooong time.

Not us, hubby gets upset If I buy coke to drink with rum, it has to be Pepsi.

[brownnskinn 0]

I think I will start a PATOIS ONLY thread too. Feel free to stay out of that one too...yuhseemi?

I'm in, just so nobody make fun of mi patois seen

[brownnskinn 0]

Jawi, yu too bad! Some of the derogatory comments on here about Jamaica and Jamaicans have gotten to me as well. If you know people who are like that, please keep it to them, but some of the generalizations have been too much, especially considering that they have fallen in love with and married Jamaicans. I am proud of my country, despite its issues, but as the colours of our flag represent: Hardships there are (black), but the land is green and the sun shines; we will continue to prosper despite all that ah gwaan.

Unnu nuh haffi like wi, but unnu ah go respec wi still! Gwaan tru Jawi

How do you fight against your own family? How do you generalize and stereotype your man's family? He is magically different from his family where he born and grow. He grew up among a bunch of money hungry begging good for nothing leeches that should be drowned in the flood waters while holding their cell phones. But, he now he is DIFFERENT!

oonu tink oonu give dem nuff pages fe read inna de YAARDIE thread? or dem ago skip ie cuz ie tuh hard fe read? waaaaaaaaaaiiieee...whaa a ting!

Lawd Jawi, too much patois, mi head ah hot mi...but mi hubby tell me a good remedy fi di headache...nuff rooks. I think I could do with a little more headaches from the patwah...let the rooksing commence Like we need an excuse....I am hoping to get some of the VJ water, haffi get a likkle bway inna di mix.

unu nuh easy a rass, come tek ova di ppl dem tread.....lawddddddddddd

[brownnskinn 0]

He's immature, plain and simple..... he'll grow up someday, but "I" won't be around to see that happen. I said that "I" am training him to be a better person for the next one !!

Hey, Kelly

Sorry you are still going through this, I've been there done that. I was told the same thing, with my x-husband, I went and got a restraining order what good did that do I packed my bags and got the hell out of dodge, yes it was my home, one I worked hard to get, remodeled the entire home with my hard earned money. We had two cars a nice home, all paid for by yours truely. But guess what? I didn't care anymore, my happiness meant soo much more. I left it all and had to start over from scratch. No one should have to through what you are going through. I seh leave his a$$ sitting der and move on. I know it's easier said than done, esp with all this immigration suff, but something has to give, I'm all for working thing out but then again life is too short.

[brownnskinn 0]

I was in a bad relationship similar to yours with my eldest son's father (African American). I wanted him to change his ways more than I really wanted to end things. He adored me, but didn't show much love to his own flesh and blood. I never understood this, and I couldn't sit back and let him dote on me and pretty much ignore his child.

[brownnskinn 0]

[This is true of all relationships - nothing to do with Jamaica. 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce

Fi tru, i think it's more like 65-70%

[brownnskinn 0]

)

Brownskin (Dee & Dave) - had their problems, but back on strong

Damn straight! I tuk back what the devil ...tired to steal from mi. Babelyon(msp) no nah fi come round yersso, you see it. "Where there is marriage there will be trouble" Mi just know fi have somtin waiting fi him, fi him deside to come back I agree with Jamie, I never came into this thinking I was "better" than my husband, or had to rescue him from a life of poverty, I did how ever felt the need to protect him from this or that or explain everything once we arrived here. I mothered him. I stopped, it's not like he listened anyway, somethings they he had to find out the had wey. Honestly, it feels so good to over come. Sometimes I lie in bed and cry because I cannot believe how blessed we are, what we have been able to come through. I love that song..."I'm a movement by myself but we are a force when we're togehter" describes us to a T. Often I have trouble keeping up with him, He works so hard. Like I would pray for God to send mi someone who would at least put in 25-50% in to the marriage. My husband gives me 125%, Where much is given, much is required...to maintain. All mi have teh seh it's damn hard wuk and it have teh come from both parties.

[brownnskinn 0]

[ I think most Jamaican's know how to speak it, but not write/read it. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I bought a book as well, hubby seh the same ting, most people can't write it.

[brownnskinn 0]

I would make his life pure hell in my home too. He would wake up to a wet a** because I would pee the bed every night he decided to climb in next to me. I would let him "view" that time of the month still floating in the toilet. I would be a nasty FILTHY HOHO to get him to leave.

Ah joke mi mek...but yuhseemi same wey. LOL LOL

Oh my. That would most def get him to leave. My hubby can't even stand to see a clean one.