K1 visa decided not to marry anymore and go back to the Philippines

[QueenComley 295]

I have been in America nearly 4 years and I still get completely overwhelmed with how "home sick" I am. It engulfs me sometimes. I can only imagine how difficult it is to adjust here for you when you have travelled all the way from the Philippians. Part of me wants to say that what your feeling is utterly normal and just wait a little while longer to see if things subside a little. But another part of me wants to say that if you truly feel in your heart that you cant do this then you should go home. Ultimately no-one can tell you what you should do, but I would most certainly keep lines of communication open with your fiancée and see if there is a way you can both work through this. Regardless of your decision I wish you both the very best. Keep us updated on what you decide to do

[CheDan 4]

doesn't have money for a ticket ??? how did he plan to pay the $1070 for AOS???

i disagree with others

if you are not happy now, you never will be

this is suppose to be the courtship and romance time / to me the happiest of times

Marriage itself is a work in progress

if you don't want to work it out, then ask him to use the AOS money to buy your ticket

She just arrived not yet married so no AOS yet..

[A&K0608 3]

Hi MissJane!

I came here 3 years ago from the Phils. too. My husband and I were on a long distance for about a year. Just like you, I could not wait to be with him! When I moved here in Nov 2013 I was so happy. I came here on a B2, then did the AOS to F1 and I went to school because at that time, we werent ready to get married yet, we still want to enjoy the courtship/ honeymoon stage you know? We were married June this year. On my first few months here I was depressed and so homesick and unbelievably sad, but not because my feelings with my husband change but because of the culture shock. The culture, food, people, beliefs, tradition everything is different from the Philippines. But I really didnt give importance to those because my priority is build relationship with my husband and his family. I will be alone in the house while he works and the silence kills me because Philippines is LOUD lol but when he comes home I am happy again I feel safe and complete. My advice is give it time. GIVE LOVE A CHANCE. Think of all the GOOD TIMES you have shared together. Magpakatatag ka, andito ka na. Soon it will be normal, you will have a job, get a car, go around, make friends and then you and hubby can go back to the Phils for vacation. Please talk to a councilor or priest. Esp talk to your husband. Pray together.. My husband played a big role in my existence here in the States, if not for him I am probably gone crazy already!! I will pray for you. You can do this. After 1- 2 months if your feelings are still the same then you can go back home. But please don't expect your fiance to wait for you again when you have a change of heart. If you go back home I suggest to go your separate ways and take a break and find yourself. your fiance also deserve a freedom for him to find someone that is truly meant for him. God bless!

[Ontarkie 14,193]

~~One post removed due to non English parts. Post only in English in the upper forums or your post will be removed.~~

[K and H 7]

Why are you asking if he can petition another women in case you go back home?

[Cj21414 0]

you are experiencing MAYBE being homesick and you must miss home so bad... you must be thinking how you gave up HOME for the man you are with now. this is i believe is part of the process we all go through when we leave our family, friends and country behind for one man.

Cheer up girl... allow your fiancé to show you his country when you did the same when he visited yours.

Look for Filipinas around, they are a big help so you can adjust and get over being homesick.

think first before you do something that you might regret in the end. this whole thing is not a game.

[Sandra G. 5,043]

I don't call this homesick, you just realized he is not thE one. If he doesn't have money to buy an airline ticket then imagine to support you until you get a job,or for an emergency.

I heard about people saying they feel homesick. I am glad I never experienced this at all,not even for one single day.

[Lee&Ana 88]

I don't call this homesick, you just realized he is not thE one. If he doesn't have money to buy an airline ticket then imagine to support you until you get a job,or for an emergency.

I heard about people saying they feel homesick. I am glad I never experienced this at all,not even for one single day.

I agree 100% with this assessment. I think it is the same thing with my wife. Homesickness is just a lame excuse. If it was so great at home, someone would not move across the world to another country. I wish these ladies would figure out that their fiancé is not the one before all this time, money and energy is spent on immigrating them.

[SunflowerSweet 1,321]

I don't call this homesick, you just realized he is not thE one. If he doesn't have money to buy an airline ticket then imagine to support you until you get a job,or for an emergency.

I heard about people saying they feel homesick. I am glad I never experienced this at all,not even for one single day.

If you have never experienced it, then how can you know it is not the case?

This sounds 100% like what I felt when I relocated away from my hometown for a year.

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I agree 100% with this assessment. I think it is the same thing with my wife. Homesickness is just a lame excuse. If it was so great at home, someone would not move across the world to another country.

Really? I moved from America to Denmark and I l-o-v-e-d where I lived in America. People pay lots of money to vacation in beautiful towns like that by the ocean. I had a nice car and a nice life.

So, yeah, I was homesick and my life was better in my home country, which is why we moved back to America. Sunshine! Cars! We both speak the language, etc.

Some people move for love and the relationship and not just economic opportunity. I think your interpretation that people move for a better life is a little telling as to what you perceive your wife's motivations to be, perhaps.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I think your interpretation that people move for a better life is a little telling as to what you perceive your wife's motivations to be, perhaps.

Those 3rd world countries foreign spouses should be grateful that their knight in shining armor USCs save them from their awful places and bring them to the land of opportunity with roads paved with gold

[Eastroc 13]

Those 3rd world countries foreign spouses should be grateful that their knight in shining armor USCs save them from their awful places and bring them to the land of opportunity with roads paved with gold

Lol ??? made my day

That made me laugh a bit at work, going to share that one with my wife ???

[rlogan 2,036]

If you look at someone's face and can't bear the thought of marrying them, that's a pretty bad sign. Romantic love is a relatively new phenomenon in societies, we have that luxury now. In ages past, it was arranged marriages and having no choices but to marry the only other single and eligible people around. They didn't loathe each other - it just was never an expectation to have romantic love. More of a survival partnership. You grew to love each other. But there was no contempt or disgust to start out with.

But you owe the guy not to demand a flight home immediately, wow how cold can you be. You aren't going to die if you wait a little while giving him time to come up with the money. He isn't beating you or abusing you in any way that you have alluded to. You went this far together and presumably have some degree of empathy for him. So give him some time, you don't have to leave right now today.

[QueenComley 295]

I don't call this homesick, you just realized he is not thE one. If he doesn't have money to buy an airline ticket then imagine to support you until you get a job,or for an emergency.

I heard about people saying they feel homesick. I am glad I never experienced this at all,not even for one single day.

Completely disagree - this is a huge assumtion to make! I have been here four years and i am still incredibly homesick. Im always comparing apples to oranges and still cry for my family and friends. Living in the same town where ALL my family and friends live for 34 years then leaving it all behind was incredibly difficult. For someone with a completely different cultural upbringing it must be 100% harder. To say that he is not the one is jumping the gun to say the least.

Good for you on not feeling homesick. My home town, my friends, my family and my nieces and nephew mean the world to me. Homesickness seems like an obvious emotion to me when you come from a close loving family.

Its up to OP to decide whether the homesickness she feels is enough to leave America and go back home. No-one is in a position to judge if her partner "is the one".

Edited July 23, 2016 by QueenComley

[Lee&Ana 88]

I think all the foreign female beneficiaries should chime in on why they came to the USA?