Any tips for adjusting incoming fiance to American life?

[kthruelsen 2]

Hey there guys,

We got the visa and are now planning on her arrival towards the end of January. I've been trying to put together a mental list of everything I can do to cushion her landing. This means getting her informal work to keep her occupied, driver's licence, a social network etc.

Obviously there are a number of things I am sure I am overlooking. Could anyone shed some light on what made their transition experiences that much more tolerable?

Many thanks again!

~Kevin

[AlissaCarly 44]

That's so nice of you! What helped keep me busy was wedding planning, getting two cats (really, gives you something to distract you and take care of!) and getting Netflix Also searching online and nearby for all kinds of house decoration and furniture, helped make the house feel like my home. And getting to know the area you live in, just things like doing groceries by yourself can feel like a victory! I'm sure if she has you being supportive like you obviously are, she'll be fine though

[Adrian-Gloria 43]

A gym membership!

[baron555 934]

Hey there guys,

We got the visa and are now planning on her arrival towards the end of January. I've been trying to put together a mental list of everything I can do to cushion her landing. This means getting her informal work to keep her occupied, driver's licence, a social network etc.

Obviously there are a number of things I am sure I am overlooking. Could anyone shed some light on what made their transition experiences that much more tolerable?

Many thanks again!

~Kevin

THE MOST stressful part of the entire immigration process is......teaching her to drive !!

Jointly doing some remodeling.

Library card and how to use the local library.

[j&ana 363]

Also make sure she has a way she can contact her family and friends back home on a regular basic whether it is texting or chatting on webcam that way she will not feel so isolated from her family

[Pheebs1201 269]

I am the beneficiary who will soon be moving, however I will chip in anyway haha. The thing I am most anxious about is making new friends. Maybe research clubs/societies in your local area that may interest her, therefore she will meet lots of new people

[Pitaya 2,577]

~Moved from K1 Process to Moving to the US & Your New Life in America Forum~

~Similar topics are often discussed in this forum, applicable to many visa processes~

[agnesb 47]

Spending a lot of time with your friends and family in a variety of situations and places.

[TBoneTX 45,288]

Along the lines of a social network:

Mrs. T-B. had been to the U.S. before, but she became exceptionally homesick once she was here "permanently." One early thing that I did really paid off. On Mrs. T-B.'s very second Sunday here, I dropped her at a Spanish-language church service and waited to pick her up when it was due to let out. She emerged quite late, bubbling with happiness, and introduced me to some people whom she'd met. I took her back there a couple more times until she'd developed a nice network of acquaintances.

Of note, none of those direct contacts endured, but she made connections through those people, and it kept her from feeling alone.

You know up-front that the church attendees will not be shady people. Mrs. T-B. isn't religious, and your fiancee might not be, either; the social aspect is the chief thing, and for us it was a highly successful venture.

Edited January 13, 2015 by TBoneTX

[Girl from Celebes 588]

I am the beneficiary.

• Make her busy. I am busy with my 2 websites and have no time to think something else.
• Introduce her to your friends, family, or co-workers. My husband always brought me to any military functions.
• Being lazy makes more stressful. Woke up the morning, doing some exercises - she can find a ton of instructions on internet-.
• Get a cable or subscription. I have Netflix and when had spare time watch some of my favorite old classic movies.
• Spend more time with her. Moving to a different places often causing a stress. Call her and make sure she feels you look after her when you are not at home.
• Learn the city where she will lives with you. I learned the city where I am living now.
• Find a specialty store for her. My husband always trying to find an Asian store for me.
• Learn something new whether it is cooking, learning new language, new activities.
• Stay in touch with family and friends. I have a Skype, Facebook group for my whole family clan, and unlimited call subscription on Skype to call any phone numbers in my country.
• When stress is still there, do yoga, meditation, or get a pet. I brought my 2 cats from Indonesia and it was really help me to get busy when I am alone in our apartment.

[spahawk 10]

I am also a beneficiary.

I think the best thing you can give the love of your life is the freedom to express how she is feeling. There are times when she will feel home sick, perhaps a loss of identity as she loses previous associations with Job and familiarity of surroundings etc. As humans we experience a myriad of feelings, some of which may be irrational, but having the ability to express those thoughts both happy and sad is so important. if you can listen unconditionally, which is sometimes difficult when an emotional bond is involved, you can walk hand in hand with her as she acclimatizes to her new surroundings and builds a new life.

Sure, the practical things are nice and thoughtful but sometimes there is inner work to be done, the best thing you can do is be there to be a sounding board for those thoughts. Expect the thoughts and don't take it personally.

For the practical things I have decided to employ myself. I have plenty of yard work and a deck to build and have plenty of studying too.. The most important though is to spend unlimited time with the love of my life, this will more than recompense for leaving what I have behind.

I wish you both the best for the future.

[shippingforecast 126]

Hey there guys,

We got the visa and are now planning on her arrival towards the end of January. I've been trying to put together a mental list of everything I can do to cushion her landing. This means getting her informal work to keep her occupied, driver's licence, a social network etc.

Obviously there are a number of things I am sure I am overlooking. Could anyone shed some light on what made their transition experiences that much more tolerable?

Many thanks again!

~Kevin

I wrote an article on this for my immigration blog; here's a direct link to it;

http://the-shipping-forecast.tumblr.com/post/94369269087/post-6-succeeding-in-closing-the-distance

[Gosia & Tito 199]

Hey there guys,

We got the visa and are now planning on her arrival towards the end of January. I've been trying to put together a mental list of everything I can do to cushion her landing. This means getting her informal work to keep her occupied, driver's licence, a social network etc.

Obviously there are a number of things I am sure I am overlooking. Could anyone shed some light on what made their transition experiences that much more tolerable?

Many thanks again!

~Kevin

1. Find the local Colombian restaurants and stores.

2. Is there any Latin group you can join

3. Learn to dance cumbia and salsa - highly advised- and then take her out dancing (see 2 above)

4. Get her a mobile phone

5. Setup for a low cost international plan (I use PennyTalk, -disclosure: I don't work there nor I get a fee to tell you)

(in my case, my wife has a phone and can call whenever she wants to, without cumbersome special numbers)

6. If possible setup Skype as well so you can do video in case your plan does not have data

7. Go to 3

[JoBri 548]

When my wife first got here, she was isolated in our apartment while I was at work. I think it was very lonely for her. She had so much alone time. Just her and our cat, at first. I taught my wife to drive, and she got her license. And she bought a car of her own. Then she got a job and quickly learned the route to work. That gave her a sense of independence and a source of friends and helped her to assimilate into American culture. Her job was dead end though at first, so she got work in the health field at an assisted living facility as a resident assistant. Through that she discovered she liked health care and began down the road to becoming a registered nurse.

One thing just led to another and then another, and her life opened up and expanded. She charted her own course. When she first arrived here we had only one car and in a small community with indequate bus service. But with the ability to drive and to work, it opened up the door to a whole new life, and gave her the freedom to make a new life here down the path she chose.

She has always had only 2 or 3 friends here from the Philippines. One just recently passed away, and the other 2 she is in occassional contact with. But the thing that helped her adjust the most was to just be able to have the freedom to flow into American life here.

Edited January 13, 2015 by JoBri

[Jawaree 717]

Have her join the Library

you both do museums & galleries when you are off

include her in decision makings

Just go walk at times in the park

take her to new places (not costly) and show her new things

she can do enrichment cheap classes at the local community college

there she would develop some new friends.

enlighten her to scams. safety & how to, just don't make it overwhelming

allow her to contact family when home-sick

.

you both get a church-home

Remember to tell her you love her regularly

let her participate in a big way for her own wedding

make her feel a part of your own family