Married in Philippines, divorced in USA, now want to get K-1

[Rob Corvette 13]

I am a US citizen, not a young man but young at heart, and I married a lovely Filipina in the Philippines in 2007. I lived there with her for 6 months while we waited for her K-3 Visa to process, but due to health problems with my Dad I had to come back to the US to wait for her K-3 Visa to finish processing. She arrived here in 2008, and in 2009 we had a son together. Sadly, she longed for a younger man and cheated on me. When I confronted her, I asked her to go to counselling with me to work out our problems, but she refused, and said she wanted to be free. I was devastated, but I did not marry her to make her sad, I married her to make her happy, and if I could not do that....well, I asked her if she wanted a divorce and she said yes. I contacted a lawyer who drew up a dissollution of marriage agreement. She wanted me to have full custody of our son, saying that she would be too busy working 2 or 3 jobs to make herself a successful woman, and I understood and agreed.

Then the real problems began when before the court date for the dissollution, her Filipina friends who had lured her into bar hopping and man hopping advised her NOT to go through with the dissollution agreement and instead to file for divorce against me, and she moved out of the house and into the home of a true #######. They told her that she could get rich from me and still make me take care of our son, so she hired a lawyer who immediately moved the court to convert the dissollution into a filing of divorce with HER divorcing me. She actually listed her reasons for filing divorce against me as "he did not let me drive soon enough, and he would not let me work", both of which were untrue. She had been working for almost 2 years, and I bought her a car and hired a driving school to teach her to drive but she kept failing the driving test.

The court saw through her scheme, and granted her only the car I bought for her, told her that she was young and able and could work to support herself and gave her no support from me. We ended up negotiating a settlement agreement, wherein I still have full custody of our son, and I pay her $5,000 to pay her lawyer. She showed up for what was supposed to be the final day of our divorce where she and I would sign everything and we both had to answer a series of questions, one of which for her was: "Are you pregnant?". The whole court was shocked when she proudly said "Yes, I am.". I have cancer and they removed my prostate in 2012, so it was impossible for me to be the Dad for several reasons, including the fact that she had moved out of our house almost one year ago and we have not been together. She named the father to the judge, and basically admitted to adultery, and now because of the laws in my state, we have to wait until the baby is born and have a DNA test to exclude me from being the father, and then they can finish the divorce.

She left me when I needed her most, as I battled to stay alive from the cancer, and in fact the time that I spent in bed unable to do much due to also having to undergo 63 days of radiation treatments on top of the multiple surgeries, is when she started to stray from me. I guess I could understand if it was too hard for her to watch me suffer so much, but that isn't why she told me she wanted to be free, and showing up in court pregnant showed where her heart really was...

I waited for her for over 9 months, hoping and praying that she would change her mind and come back, if for no other reason than to be with our son, but then I finally realized that was not going to happen, so I joined Cherry Blossoms in hopes that I could one day be happy again. I met a great lady and we have been chatting and getting to know each other, and I fully explained my life and health situation with her, and she wants to meet me and said that she would love to be with me and take care of me.

My question is this: Since I married a Filipina IN the Philippines, and I am a USC, and SHE filed for divorce from ME here in the USA, once the divorce is final and I have my divorce papers, if I were to go to the Philippines and this lady and I fall in love and we would want to get a K-1 Visa, will the Philippines accept my divorce papers? I read somewhere online, that they would if I were the one to file for divorce, but NOT if it was SHE who filed for divorce, but I don't know if that was an opinion or a fact. Does anyone know how that works?

Sorry for the long winded first post, I guess I just needed to let all of that go, although there is so much more to the story...

Thanks for any help.

Rob

[raven52 233]

Rob,

You are probably not going to like my answer, but I will be honest with you, and just tell you what I know, and one of the experts, on this site, can correct any mistakes.

I honestly feel for you! I spent almost 2 years in the Phils. getting my wife out of there. BUT we sure did not get married there. to me, if you marry in the Phils. you are married for life. There is no such thing as "divorce" in the Phils. and the only way out is an annulment, in which the husband of wife must be "proven" to be "mentally unstable' at the time of marriage, adultery, beating your wife, letting her starve nothing but the mental thing, and it takes 3-5 years, and is very expensive, and the chance you ever get it may not even be 50%. It is a terrible idea to marry in the Phils.

I am not sure about who filed etc., and divorce issued in the USA, what is recognized in the Phils. "that happens in the USA" I just hope you did NOT register your marriage ROM.,., "Report of Marriage" to the Philippine Embassy in Wash. DC.,.,.if you did (which you are supposed to) then I think you have no chance of another K-1. And beware of CB.com.,.,.,.90% scammers! I got hooked real good on there!

I am quite a bit older than my wife, but it is the Filipino culture for a middle aged lady to look for an older settled, secure man. We have a great marriage, BUT if she ever mentioned "clubbing" there would be a major problem..,.,.,.and she knows it! Would not put with it one time, NOT ONCE!

Your to be ex really did you bad, and "her day is coming, when she will be tossed away like the dirty rag she is!!!""

So, to me, in the K-1 process, you would have to write an extensive cover letter explaining two K-1's, and also, someone from the Phils. is going to see where you were married there, and to the Phils. YOU ARE still married there!

Best of luck, and keep us informed.,.,.,I hope I am wrong.,.,,.,and remember, CB.com.,.,.,.,is 95% a scam. Most cases, it is men talking or "hired girls" bad place to find a gal. Just my experience on that site.

[daviddelen 34]

Here is a link that has attorney's addressing your particular issue.

http://www.lawqa.com/qa/if-i-got-married-in-philippines-annulment-necessary-to-get-married-again

I couldn't agree more with the other posters statement about Cherry Blossoms. I was burned there, too. It's certainly a dangerous place to look for a wife. You sound like a great guy. I hope things work out for you.

[Sirliner 26]

Here is a link that has attorney's addressing your particular issue.

http://www.lawqa.com/qa/if-i-got-married-in-philippines-annulment-necessary-to-get-married-again

I couldn't agree more with the other posters statement about Cherry Blossoms. I was burned there, too. It's certainly a dangerous place to look for a wife. You sound like a great guy. I hope things work out for you.

The third post in this link is the answer. Especially if your wife became a naturalized U.S. citizen. Her filing for divorce is the best thing that could have happened, because it's the way around the major hassle of an annulment.

And I'll also add to the chorus about Cherry Blossoms. Very bad website to find a Filipina for marriage, almost all scammers. Been there, done that. Consider yourself lucky if you've found a good lady from CB. God knows I certainly never did.

Edited October 24, 2014 by Sirliner

[jhammin 4]

What a sad story. I dont know what to advice but i want you to know that life is good! I pray your health. You seems a good man.

God Bless You.

[Caryh 5,206]

You have no legal issue in the Philippines filing either a K-1 or getting married again in the Philippines. Who divorces who, matters only to the Philippine citizen. It also does not matter if you were married in the Philippines, you're an American citizen, bound by American laws and you are considered divorced by the Philippine government even if the Philippine citizen filed for it. There was actually recently an attempt in the Philippine congress to pass a law that would require foreign citizens to go through the same processes required of Philippine citizens, their thought was it was unfair to make Filipinos go through applying to have the divorce recognized by their courts and not foreigners, but it was correctly pointed out that the Philippines cannot pass laws to control the lives for foreign citizens in foreign countries.

You ex-wife on the other hand can never be considered divorced in the Philippines, because she filed for divorce while she was a Philippine citizen. Yes its strange, she's still married to you in the Philippines, but you are not married to her there.

Another strange thing about the marriage laws there. If she were to return to the Philippines, although she can't marry there she could be petitioned via a K-1 again and show her divorce decree as proof of not being married at the embassy. They'll even accept it at the CFO before she leaves.

[arvindun 0]

Reading your story made me cursed your exwife, so sorry for you. How i wish US wont grant her any right to be in the US and deport her from entering US.

[novedsac 355]

+1 for the information provided by Caryh.

If you are filing for a K1, the marriage will take place in the US. You only need to provide proof that you and she are eligible to marry (along with having met in the past two years). Your final divorce decree will be good enough proof for you in this regard. No need to worry about any annulment.

Whether the Phillipine Government recognizes your divorce is completely irrelevant; the K1 visa is being reviewed/granted by the US Government. The Phillipine Government's invovlement in this process is limited to providing the documentation needed by the Filipina.

[novedsac 355]

So, to me, in the K-1 process, you would have to write an extensive cover letter explaining two K-1's, and also, someone from the Phils. is going to see where you were married there, and to the Phils. YOU ARE still married there!

Two K1s? Where did you get that? From the information provided, this will be the OPs first K1 sponsorship.

And for a K1, the US Government doesn't give a squat what the PI Government thinks of the marriage. If the OP is divorced, then he is eligible to petition a K1 provided all other conditions are met.

[Rob Corvette 13]

I sincerely thank all of you who have posted here, for your efforts to help me try to find true happiness once more! I followed the link posted above, and from there found more and more links that keep giving weight to the issue of whether it was her or me whom filed for the divorce as to whether that would allow me to get the K-1 Visa for a potential new spouse. Yes, novedsac is correct, this indeed would be my first time applying for a K-1 Visa, since my first marriage was performed in the Philippines, in Mindanao in 2007, and we then applied for a K-3 Visa, which was granted in 2008, allowing her to come to me here in the USA.

It should be noted that all of the links that I found that give weight to the issue of who it is that files for divorce, be it her or me, are from websites hosted by attorneys who practice both in the US and the Philippines, so I wonder if they are at least in part motivated in their answers by the desire to gain new clients, and thus more income.

I am thinking and hoping that things are the way that novedsac has stated, because life is short, and no one wants to have a dream of a happy marriage crushed by bureaucratic roadblocks.

That day in court that she announced she was pregnant by another man, delaying our divorce until the birth of the baby, she was 5 months pregnant. When she was 6 months pregnant, her boyfriend, the fatherr of the child, and whom she was living with in an apartment, threw her across the room and kicked her repeatedly. He pushed his fist in her chest until she could not breath, and headbutted her, and took her cell phone and would not let her call 911. He made her stay up all night and talk to him. When he left for work the next day, she called me and told me what happened. I called the police and asked them to do a welfare check on her, since she refused to call the police. They found probable cause for domestic violence, and they went to his work place and arrested him for Felony Domestic Violence. He had not paid the rent there, she had been working and providing for herself, and now she was afraid, and hurt, and was fired from her job for being unable to do it from being pregnant. I opened my heart and my home, and took her back in over a month ago now, to try to give her a safe place to stay until her baby is born and then I will try to help her get a new start on her life after our divorce is final. I am heartbroken by what she did to me, but I cannot change the man that I am, and I could not stand by and watch her be thrown out in the streets, or killed by her boyfriend. She is and always will be the mother to our wonderful son, and I love him with all of my heart and soul, he is a blessing to me. So many of my friends said that I should just let her rot, that she was getting what she deserved, but if you truly loved someone at one time, how could you stand by and watch them fall without reaching out a hand to help if you could? She will move on with her life, and so will I, and hopefully I will be able to get a K-1 Visa without running into some roadblock in the Philippines, and if God will grant me true love again, I will open my heart to it once again.

Rob

[mymarley 14]

i think since youre not filipino citizen...you can stil petition a filipina from the philipines.coz you dont have any record of citzenship in the philippines.. but i hope shes a real one...i am a filipina... im really soo sad hearing those kind of stories... Even my husband was also a victimof that and the fact that hes just in 30's stil happened to him the more in your age so please be very careful...

im annulled person.. you dont need to do that...

[mymarley 14]

the xwife of my husband after filing citizenship approved...she then started cheating with young guy... but i hope shes happy now coz were both happy too..

[novedsac 355]

I opened my heart and my home, and took her back in over a month ago now, to try to give her a safe place to stay until her baby is born and then I will try to help her get a new start on her life after our divorce is final. I am heartbroken by what she did to me, but I cannot change the man that I am, and I could not stand by and watch her be thrown out in the streets, or killed by her boyfriend. She is and always will be the mother to our wonderful son, and I love him with all of my heart and soul, he is a blessing to me. So many of my friends said that I should just let her rot, that she was getting what she deserved, but if you truly loved someone at one time, how could you stand by and watch them fall without reaching out a hand to help if you could?

Be careful with this. My knowledge of Filipinas is that they are a highly jealous and possessive lot, though most admirable in many other ways.

Keeping too many ties to the ex-wife may cause you far more grief than any beaurocracy could.

Better to establish and maintain clear lines of separation which is agreeable with your future life partner.

At some point your child will understand what has happened and that as adults we are responsible for the consequences of our choices and actions.

[Caryh 5,206]

Be careful with this. My knowledge of Filipinas is that they are a highly jealous and possessive lot, though most admirable in many other ways.

Keeping too many ties to the ex-wife may cause you far more grief than any beaurocracy could.

Better to establish and maintain clear lines of separation which is agreeable with your future life partner.

At some point your child will understand what has happened and that as adults we are responsible for the consequences of our choices and actions.

Typically they do tend to be rather jealous, in particular of ex wives. I've been divorced from my first wife for many years, and either married or in a relationship with my second wife, a filipina, for over ten years, and she's still jealous of the first. I know another filipina that has been married to an American over 20 years, and she's still jealous of his first wife. Its funny, intellectually they both know they're secure, but something inside them seems to keep the emotional insecurity alive.

[Darnell 8,478]

You have no legal issue in the Philippines filing either a K-1 or getting married again in the Philippines. Who divorces who, matters only to the Philippine citizen. It also does not matter if you were married in the Philippines, you're an American citizen, bound by American laws and you are considered divorced by the Philippine government even if the Philippine citizen filed for it. There was actually recently an attempt in the Philippine congress to pass a law that would require foreign citizens to go through the same processes required of Philippine citizens, their thought was it was unfair to make Filipinos go through applying to have the divorce recognized by their courts and not foreigners, but it was correctly pointed out that the Philippines cannot pass laws to control the lives for foreign citizens in foreign countries.

You ex-wife on the other hand can never be considered divorced in the Philippines, because she filed for divorce while she was a Philippine citizen. Yes its strange, she's still married to you in the Philippines, but you are not married to her there.

Another strange thing about the marriage laws there. If she were to return to the Philippines, although she can't marry there she could be petitioned via a K-1 again and show her divorce decree as proof of not being married at the embassy. They'll even accept it at the CFO before she leaves.

echo.

This.

Spot On !

I was about to write up some longish bits, but Cary covered em all.