How well did you adjust?

[Lights 56]

We're in the home stretch of our K1. Our interview is just about to be set and all my requirements (other then medical) are done.

I've started to tidy some of my things because I will be putting my house on the market. If there are no delays or AP's, we'll likely get our visa by end of June. As it's starting to become very real to me, I realize that moving away from home is a lot harder then I thought. My family is so supportive and happy for me, which makes things easier but also harder, if that makes any sense. I spend a lot of time with my sibling and parents. My mom and I do most things together: errands, shop, dining out, spa's etc. We have such a close relationship. I'm realizing how hard it will be when I'm not a 10 minute drive away from them anymore and I'm realizing that I'm a total baby. I'm in my late 20's and I suddenly feel so attached, like I'll be having separation anxiety. When I was the girl who bought my first place at 19, became super independent, and left home early. My parents still have several years before they retire… Being in Canada, we are allowed to spend 183 days in the US without a visa. I know when that time comes, things will be a little more like they are now. When they're retired they can spend months with us at a time. But for the next few years our visits will be shorter and more sporadic.

I guess I just feel a bit sad today. I'm happy that this long journey is coming to an end (we've been going back and forth for years) but also sad at the same time.

How did you deal with the move? Especially when you're so close to your family.

Just hoping to hear some positive stories. I am so happy to finally be able to close the gap and start the life my fiancé and I have planned for so long, but it still doesn't make this process 'easy'.

Thanks for the insight!

[NikLR 13,227]

I am close with my mom but had lived in a different province for 10 years before I moved to the USA. So I didn't visit much to begin with. However the hardest part for me is my daughter is still in Canada so I do not get to see her every day which tears me up. I communicate with her almost everyday and help her with whatever she needs. But I want her to be where she's happy as well and that's living with Dad right now.

I find the US sometimes hard honestly. Sometimes I hate being here. Other times I'm happy that this is where I am, despite the fact that I never had any desire, in the slightest, to live in the USA. It's not as cold for sure, even where I am. I'm loving not having to start my car with a foot of snow on it and it being -40C before windchill. /happyhappyjoyjoy It's the small things that make it more than the big picture (besides the main one that is.)

The best part of being here? Waking up next to the love of my life, my soul-mate, everyday. LDR just doesn't compare to living with someone. Never does it justice.

[mitchanme 18]

I was totally worried about leaving as well, but you know what- once you're here you'll find it's the best thing you ever did. We aren't married yet but decided to spend our waiting time together and thankfully we are able to do that, so I'm in the states now with hubby-to-be. I had a beautiful house with amazing gardens that I built up over 30 years, all my family within a couple miles, a good business, respect in the community, not to mention the best climate in Canada. And honestly before we left I was praying something would come up so I wouldn't have to go just yet. But now that I'm here I really don't care if I ever set foot in the place again. My fiancé really is my soulmate and even though we're too old for the rose coloured glasses, it really is heaven sharing a life together-even if the weather's colder than I could believe possible!. I do find my family up there is quite keen to visit as well, we've all been more European oriented and it never crossed anyone's mind to visit the US til now. So, don't worry about it and just plan on showing your family your new country!

[Cam54 84]

you'll have ups and downs, one week i'll be sad next I'll think wow best thing I ever did, and the bad times get less frequent the longer you are here in my opinion. Whereabouts in the US are you going to? I came from rainy England to sunny California which helped

[QueenComley 295]

_{I gave up my house and a good job in Human Resources and moved from England all the way to America to be with my man. Up until that point I had lived in the same town, surrounded by life long friends and all my family for 34 years. My sister and my mum are not just my family... I consider them my best friends... My sisters children I love as my own, all my friends are friends from early childhood.}

_{I have been in America 16 months now. I live in a very rural part of Mississippi, its so quiet, with fields and trees for miles around. The nearest store is about 7 miles away. All my husbands family live in Alaska so we often joke that we only have "each other" to lean on and rely on, and that some how makes it easier and makes our marriage that much stronger and special. In my move I have also had to adapt to being a very active step-mom to my stepdaughter who is 11 and my stepson who is 9. They are my life.}

_{I thank god for skype and whatsapp so I can text and speak to family and friends whenever I want. I still cry like a baby when I have finished skyping my eldest niece who is 7. When I lived in England we had a very strong bond and she spent every weekend at my house. Even now, when I think of her, it overwhelms me, I almost feel like I could throw up.}

_{You will have your moments... out of nowhere a loved one will creep into your mind and the pang of longing to see them is incredibly over powering. But for the most part, you will adapt well, as you have so much to concentrate on and so much to look forward to in your future.}

_{I had my AOS interview on 4th March which was successful... I now have a whole new life with my husband and step kids to look forward too. We went through so much to be together and I wake u every day feeling incredibly blessed to have him and our family. The next step is for us to get me a car, get myself in full time employment and we plan to move in September to a bigger home with a bigger yard for the kids. My parents are flying out to visit us this June and we are going to England next year for a 2 week vacation. With all this in mind, I hope that the "home sickness" will ease off completely.}

_{If you ever feel overwhelmed, please do feel free to inbox me... Im sure everyone on VJ can relate to you and be of some support.}

[uk_sweetie 0]

I have lived here in michigan now for 9 years. My husband and I have 2 boys. Next year we are making our way back to the UK. I am so homesick and it never went away it only got worse!

I miss every single thing about home. I miss the rain! This winter has been especially harsh in michigan. Today it only reached 22 degrees. I cannot stand it any longer, the harsh winters, and the humid hot summers. I am done. I want to go home so badly i would get on a plane right this second if i could!

But, i will have to wait until next spring.

All my family is back in the uk. Having children just made me worse, even though i thought it would ease it some. There was no adjustment for me!

[Cam54 84]

you'll be moving to California right?

I also moved to California and I can promise it definitely helps that California is gorgeous and has amazing weather. I moved here two months ago and although there have been ups and downs it beginning to feel like home, I get bored ofcourse not working yet but theres so much to do here! For example Im sitting here wasting my morning on my laptop so have decided to go on a hike in the mountains overlooking our town.

Have you spent any time here previously?

[elle13 15]

you'll be moving to California right?

I also moved to California and I can promise it definitely helps that California is gorgeous and has amazing weather. I moved here two months ago and although there have been ups and downs it beginning to feel like home, I get bored ofcourse not working yet but theres so much to do here! For example Im sitting here wasting my morning on my laptop so have decided to go on a hike in the mountains overlooking our town.

Have you spent any time here previously?

How has the move been for you? I moved to LA from Manchester and the gorgeous weather does make a huge difference! I miss my friends in the UK, and still can't get over how vast California is. It takes a lot of effort to meet up with people. We moved temporarily to a slightly rough neighbourhood while we find our feet. I feel like a complete outsider, which is why I'm really motivated to move. If you don't mind, may I ask where you're living right now and how you like it so far?

Personally, the most challenging aspect of the move is learning how to navigate my new city in a car. I never drove before I moved here. I know it sounds completely ridiculous and silly because driving is a basic adult skill! I drive to work and back (about 50 minutes each way) and every time I get into the car, I say a little prayer.

[Cam54 84]

How has the move been for you? I moved to LA from Manchester and the gorgeous weather does make a huge difference! I miss my friends in the UK, and still can't get over how vast California is. It takes a lot of effort to meet up with people. We moved temporarily to a slightly rough neighbourhood while we find our feet. I feel like a complete outsider, which is why I'm really motivated to move. If you don't mind, may I ask where you're living right now and how you like it so far?

Personally, the most challenging aspect of the move is learning how to navigate my new city in a car. I never drove before I moved here. I know it sounds completely ridiculous and silly because driving is a basic adult skill! I drive to work and back (about 50 minutes each way) and every time I get into the car, I say a little prayer.

I live in Ojai, CA which I think is known for its beauty so I got really lucky there, its about 90 mins from LA if u go North-West.

I do miss my friends and its not quite the same when you make new friends cos u don't have that history but I recently made friends with a couple of local Brits which realllly helped and took the edge and desperation off of making American friends.

I drive here but I cant imagine driving in LA, im scared of just being a passenger there!, driving around Ventura and Santa Barbara County is scary enough! with all those lanes.

[An-chan 1]

Being in the process of purchasing my ticket to America (which is not as simple as one might think when you need to bring a cat over...) so I can move there in three months, and the fact I'm actually going is starting to register in my brain. I'm at an especially bad situation since I decided to live at home through university to save money, and so have lived with my parents and brothers (and our dog and two cats) up until now. We're really close, and we've always done a lot of stuff together - making food together, watching movies and series, playing games, etc. And now I'm realizing that in only three short months I'll be an 18-hour flight and $1200 away from them! I'm lucky in that I don't have much established here (i.e. no career to lose, or a house to sell, or anything like that), but man, I'm going to miss so many things.

I'm also moving to California - Southern California, no less! - and while I look forward to the sunshine and amazing weather all year, I know I'm going to miss real winters, especially when Christmas comes around. It's going to be so odd to have dark nights in the summer, and warmth in the winter! Also, since Finns in general are a teeny tiny ethnic group, even within Europe, a lot of our food, even some of our staples, aren't available in the US. I've spent many a summer there, trying to look for things like proper chocolate or our style of rye bread, and I've had no luck so far. It's also freakishly hard to find things like marzipan or quark, and even cottage cheese seems a bit on the rarer side. Then again, in exchange I get a whole variety of Japanese, Chinese, Mexican, etc. food items to purchase and use as I please, but I'm seriously at a loss as to what I'm going to have for breakfast with no proper rye bread anywhere, haha.

I seriously lucked out in that my uncle and his wife moved to CA around ten years ago, and live in Los Angeles, only a short (by US standards - only two hours!) car ride away from where I'll live, so I won't be completely separated from all of my relatives, and at least I'll have someone to help me out and be my support network if something stupid happens. They've already had to learn all of it, and they can make a lot of the adjusting and learning the ropes much easier for me, for which I'm thankful. (Also, they live fairly close to Six Flags Magic Mountain, which, as a location, is almost a good enough reason to live in California, haha!)

The thing I'm most worried about is friends... It's really difficult for me to connect with people and really make friends, and I'm also still sort of bad at the social conventions of American culture (small talk, personal questions, etc.). Add to that the fact I won't have a job or anything for a while, and I get the feeling I'll be pretty lonely. My fiance's friends have been really welcoming of me so far, but it's not quite same thing since they are still primarily his friends. I really would like to have some friends of my own, but... I don't know, it's all a bit scary!

[Ben + Michelle 9]

I can totally relate. I just realized in the last months, how strong my bonds to Switzerland are.

I'm leaving a wonderful job and home in Switzerland to be with the love of my life in California... It's hard to let everything behind. Besides family and friends I'm mostly worried about living together in an apartment half as big as the one I live now on my own, but paying double the rent. I also wonder If I will find a satisfying job and close friends.

I know I will miss a lot, but I think everything will be great at the end.

-m

Edited March 26, 2014 by Ben + Michelle

[Cam54 84]

I also brought a cat over if you need any advice on that, especially as LAX was my destination airport. How fun that your uncle lives near six flags, I love hurricane harbour next door to six flags. Where about in So cal will you be moving to?. I completely understand about the wanting your own friends thing, my husbands friends have been really welcoming but they're still his friends, iv been here 9 weeks now and it's starting to feel like home don't worry. Also see if there are any people from your home country living in your area, that's what I did and now I have an English friend here who also lined me up with a job!

[rjm_cmyk 75]

Another expat Brit living in California here. Coming up for three months now. Helped that I had been coming her for many years so no shock in that respect. The good weather certainly helps - even if we have four days of rain forecast here in North Bay area....

I've enjoyed pretty much every day here. There's the odd day when I miss things about the UK and it would be good to see family and friends. Looking forward to first trip back sometime this summer (AP permitting) and it will be great getting on that flight knowing that I'm going to see family and friends but will be coming back "home" and not waving off my wife for yet another 3-6 month period apart.

I would say I remember the rapid acceleration of the feeling that "yes I really am going soon". It seemed to take so long and then all of a sudden there's a huge last minute rush and sadly some stuff doesn't get done, some goodbyes don't get said properly. I regret that. But hey ho - phone, Skype, Whatsapp , Facebook and myriad of other forms of communication including Photobox means I contact people more than I did when I was in the UK.

It's a big step but I don't regret it one little bit (as long as I don't run out of Marmite)

[Stubby and Rio 4]

I am glad I found this thread; I am feeling the exact same things; good days and bad days....some days I feel like a duck out of water....some days i wonder if depression is setting in....I cry and feel lost then I feel happy....its nuts.....the City we moved to is soooo BIG....its like living in Toronto...I come from a small city.....I miss my family friends my career my favourite parks, lakes.....I love that I wake up to my soul mate every day....but trying to fit in has proven to be a struggle.....I know it has only been 4 months....I was lucky to find a job within 12 days of my arrival but trying to fit in and be liked is difficult.....the work mentality is different, or at least it feels that way.....wages are a fraction of what made back home....I didn't realize adjusting down here would be this hard.....but I take it one day at a time and thank God I am with my LOVE