A Girl Arrived as K1, Got Married, Now Husband Refused!

[typo808 11]

Rodalyn is just as upset about this as I am. Half of those words are hers.

Help your friend as much as your relationship with her allows you to. She will feel isolated, confused, extremely hurt and betrayed, all the natural feelings for a person in her situation. There are good men out there-in Hawaii, locals are born and raised to respect, honour and love. It's called Aloha.(Unfortunately that's disappearing with so many 1st generation-ers living here now)

It won't be easy, it may even be hard. Love is respect. There is none in her relationship. Help her to see that.

And I hope we know both sides to the story, too

[Paps IR5 6]

Thank you all for all your input! AS I myself do not know what to do if I was in her situation.

She is actually ashamed of her situation that she can't even tell her family back home.

(She just don't want to have her parents worry about her).

She has no family here in US either that she can talk to neither run to.

I hope someone can share what's the best for her for now! She said she is not leaving nor divorcing him for she cares for him so much.

Edited October 16, 2013 by MsPinay

[Girl from Celebes 588]

He said can't afford her yet he can provided affidavit of support for her when she had the interview at USEM. I am not trying to be prejudice but maybe he doesn't have money to do her AOS that's the reason why he wanted to send her back to PI. What do you think?

I hate when men treated women like this. Just like a piece of cake and if they don't like it and then throw them away.

[Paps IR5 6]

That's what his winning about. He has no money for AOS yet he has money to send her back home!

To send her back home, it would cost almost the same as if he would apply AOS for her.

[Boiler 45,362]

Did she not know he was 47 and lived with his Mother?

[Paps IR5 6]

Nope, she was lied to. She was told he is living in apartment. She was surprised when she arrived to us at the airport her fiance's mother was there to pick her up, then they went to his mother house straight. that's when she realized, he is living with his mother.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

That's what his winning about. He has no money for AOS yet he has money to send her back home!

To send her back home, it would cost almost the same as if he would apply AOS for her.

Exactly. I think he's kind of mama's boy!

[Girl from Celebes 588]

Nope, she was lied to. She was told he is living in apartment. She was surprised when she arrived to us at the airport her fiance's mother was there to pick her up, then they went to his mother house straight. that's when she realized, he is living with his mother.

Wow, so did they ever doing some video calls, showing all of "his apartment"? I mean, I do video calls everyday with my fiance showing me all of his apartment everytime he moved, calling at work, on his cellphone, etc. Doesn't she know about it?

[Paps IR5 6]

Wow, so did they ever doing some video calls, showing all of "his apartment"? I mean, I do video calls everyday with my fiance showing me all of his apartment everytime he moved, calling at work, on his cellphone, etc. Doesn't she know about it?

That's I can't confirmed. They do skype all the time but who knows what he has told her about the situation. She was just shocked when she finally arrives that he was living with his mother.

[Girl from Celebes 588]

That's I can't confirmed. They do skype all the time but who knows what he has told her about the situation. She was just shocked when she finally arrives that he was living with his mother.

You've said that she has her papers now and all they need to send it in but money became a problem for the husband. Maybe she does have her saving back in PI? She can use it to paid for her AOS.

Honestly, if I were her I wouldn't wait or have a second thought, and prefer back to my country. But, everyone is different and seems like she cares him so much. Telling her to leave him behind it would never work anyway since a divorce is not an option for this case.

Edited October 16, 2013 by Girl from Celebes

[clairegie 265]

They have all the papers ready to be sent out for her adjustments but according to her he can not make up his mind. He is going back and forth of saying he loves her and then want to send her back to Philippines due to he can't afford her. He is living still with his mother and he is 47 years old.

Then he should've thought about this before he uprooted a woman off her birthplace. Marriage isn't a joke, and so is packing your life in 2 suitcases just to be with the man you love. What a #######. Tell her HE IS NOT WORTH fighting for. What kind of a relationship is it when only 1 person fights for it. He clearly lied to her from the beginning. Tell her to cut her losses and just go home.

I don't understand how this man can pass the poverty guidelines and say he can't afford having her there. There must be another reason why he wont do it. Maybe his mother is giving him an earful and is threatening to kick him out if she stayed.

Edited October 16, 2013 by iammrsregi

[typo808 11]

We feel so sorry for her. Is there any way of getting her to realize that she is in love with a lie, therefore her love is not for the man who stands before her but the man she is imagining? The boy, I should say more accurately, that is in front of her is not who her heart loves. How to get her to see that truth? That she loves a lie and not him? I understand you cannot control how she feels and what she will do, but come on! Someone has to at least try to show her the truth. Whatever the reason, he is willing to abandon her. What if she becomes pregnant and he tries this again?? Go thru the pain of leaving him now before it gets much more serious. He is not good for anyone but Mom.

What does his mom have to say about this situation?

Edited October 16, 2013 by typo808

[typo808 11]

Bottom line: there is nothing you can do if she tells you "I choose to be with him". She will have made her choice: to live a life of lies and pain.

[Justine+David 218]

I'm curious how he was able to meet the poverty requirements to sponsor her over in the first place, especially if he's a 47 year old man living with mama. I thought the Philippines didn't allow co-sponsors for K1s

[Girl from Celebes 588]

I'm curious how he was able to meet the poverty requirements to sponsor her over in the first place, especially if he's a 47 year old man living with mama. I thought the Philippines didn't allow co-sponsors for K1s

That's exactly my thought. If it is not about money then I smell something fishy about his behaviour.