Fiancé forgot he was married before!

[callmekay 19]

Just a personal thinking, not inferring the OP, CallMeKay, is doing it. If a couple is committing immgration fraud, for whatever purpose, $$$ gain being one of them, they'd care less about what happens after the marriage. They're not in the game for that purpose! Their main concern is to get the passing pink slip at the CO stage.

When a house has a lightbulb that's broken, you don't buy a new house. You change the lightbulb. Thank you for everyones comments and concerns. In one way if my fiancé happened to be here in the states and didn't tell me about a marriage then I don't think it would be this big of a deal. But that's just me.

I assumed that his baby momma was the only relationship he had that was taken to a more serious level. I've noticed that most of the people I've met or know in VN don't talk about their past much. And I know that the only reason why my fiancé informed me about his baby momma is because of his daughter.

I would assumed if he was to hide anything towards me initially it would be his daughter more than a previous marriage. But that's just my thinking.

Mo mong, I get your explanation. And unfortunately there are some lessons in life that we are meant to learn on our own. If I get cut then grab a bandage. Just as long as its not critical I'm okay. Lol. Jk jk jk.

[callmekay 19]

As you said the daughter lives with him, it doesnt sound right that he forgot. In Vietnam, they only have baby when they married ( for 90% of population ). Otherwise, they will go abortion if they wont marry. Furthermore, he is the one that keep baby ( wife will usually take care of children), something is weird to me.

However, we are here not adjusting who right or wrong. Good luck at interview.

He has his daughter because at the time he and his baby momma split he had better means of taking care of her. And the divorce was not with the baby momma but someone before her. So when I met him he told me about the baby momma only and I was under the assumption she was the only one he was serious.

And yes I too asked why he kept the baby but he explained it.

[Nurseling 34]

When a house has a lightbulb that's broken, you don't buy a new house. You change the lightbulb. Thank you for everyones comments and concerns. In one way if my fiancé happened to be here in the states and didn't tell me about a marriage then I don't think it would be this big of a deal. But that's just me.

I assumed that his baby momma was the only relationship he had that was taken to a more serious level. I've noticed that most of the people I've met or know in VN don't talk about their past much. And I know that the only reason why my fiancé informed me about his baby momma is because of his daughter.

I would assumed if he was to hide anything towards me initially it would be his daughter more than a previous marriage. But that's just my thinking.

Mo mong, I get your explanation. And unfortunately there are some lessons in life that we are meant to learn on our own. If I get cut then grab a bandage. Just as long as its not critical I'm okay. Lol. Jk jk jk.

Well put. Life is about taking a chance. Whats the alternative get another devil. I say the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. Your aware of the risks we take in life so like you said if it doesn't work patch yourself together with a band aid and move on. Nothing ventured nothing gained. I wish you the best with the process.

[callmekay 19]

I don't want to be unkind but I don't get how on earth you can forget you are married. It makes no sense,if he is to start afresh and a new life with you surely it requires trust between you both. I'm slightly surprised you believed him when he said he forgot too. I think alarm bells would start ringing if my Fiance were to tell me he had forgotten he had been married and divorced before. If you are going to be together then you need to be able to trust eachother. Relationships are built on trust. I think you should be more concerned about the trust in your relationship than the visa right now...I think you know though what is the right thing for you.

Affection trust and communication. And throughout our relationship this is really the only thing that's had caused a bump between us. He's been straightforward with me about everything. So that's why I no reason not to believe him.

It was frustrating at first to hear this just cause that could mean we'd have to wait longer for our paperwork to complete and be away from one another longer but on the upside we have a bright future ahead of us. We've built us and I'm not giving up so easily.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Apologies but why do you keep saying "baby momma"?

[callmekay 19]

Well put. Life is about taking a chance. Whats the alternative get another devil. I say the devil you know is better than the devil you don't. Your aware of the risks we take in life so like you said if it doesn't work patch yourself together with a band aid and move on. Nothing ventured nothing gained. I wish you the best with the process.

Thank you. I was hoping there was someone who may have encountered this as well but it doesn't seem to be the case. Lol

[callmekay 19]

Apologies but why do you keep saying "baby momma"?

Force of habit cause I'm also someone's baby momma.

Much easier to type than "my fiance's daughter's mom"

[missypatrick14 0]

Affection trust and communication. And throughout our relationship this is really the only thing that's had caused a bump between us. He's been straightforward with me about everything. So that's why I no reason not to believe him.

It was frustrating at first to hear this just cause that could mean we'd have to wait longer for our paperwork to complete and be away from one another longer but on the upside we have a bright future ahead of us. We've built us and I'm not giving up so easily.

In that case who are we to tell you what to do. If you trust him and he has been honest about everything else then it's just one of those obstacles that comes up in relationships that you work at together. I think that you said "he forgot" just makes everyone assume he is hiding something because it's pretty much impossible to just forget you were married and divorced before. I hope everything works out for you both though. :)

[callmekay 19]

In that case who are we to tell you what to do. If you trust him and he has been honest about everything else then it's just one of those obstacles that comes up in relationships that you work at together. I think that you said "he forgot" just makes everyone assume he is hiding something because it's pretty much impossible to just forget you were married and divorced before. I hope everything works out for you both though. :)

Thank you. What's funny though is there are plenty of people who forget their anniversaries and even birthdays. Not necessarily the same thing but along the lines of it some similarity

If there were other instances he "forgot" then I would definitely have to rethink this union. But this is the only thing that's cause this much of a fuss between us. I can't change the past either so now we are just gonna try to make the most of it.

[jola83 19]

I don't really post alot on here other than to ask questions myself but I see so many red flags and not to be rude but my advice is run for the hills!!!

No one in their right frame of mind would forget they were married .if it was a bad marriage it would be even harder to forget.and you say if he was lying or trying to hide something he would of lied about his daughter.hmm well not really if he's daughter is in his life then there is no way of hiding it .a ex wife is easier to hide.and forgetting you was married untill he found his ex wife on Facebook.is not only stupid but insulting to your intelligence to think you

Would believe such nonsense

I'm not one to get involved in people's life but speaking from experience of in the past being with someone for 3 years who was leading a double life...wait scratch that a triple life having a wife and kids hidden .really think about what you are doing sweetie.maybe take abit more Time getting to know each other.it's always going to be in the back of your head that he kept it from you ,I would think.just be sure he is marrying you for the right reasons before you go that route as it could lead to a whole heap of problems

From your picture I can see your a beautiful women who deserves better than to be lied to or be with someone who is mentally not quite right as that's the only reason anyone would forget they are married.best of luck xx

[Shiobhan 235]

You're been lied to...short of amnesia..even

Brittany Spears remembers the few hrs she was married

to a childhood sweetheart in Vegas while allegedly

drunk...I would stop proceedings, get a PI or just

walk away from this liar trying to get to USA. He

revealed his daughter as eventually he wants to bring

her over

Edited August 29, 2013 by Jihana

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

He has his daughter because at the time he and his baby momma split he had better means of taking care of her. And the divorce was not with the baby momma but someone before her. So when I met him he told me about the baby momma only and I was under the assumption she was the only one he was serious.

And yes I too asked why he kept the baby but he explained it.

Pathological liars are good at explaining stuff. So, two LTR's before he met you that he hasn't quite yet come clean about. Is he listed on his daughter's birth certificate? Does he have sole legal custody? Most countries give the mother of a child born out of wedlock sole custody. See if he will be willing to let you adopt his daughter once they arrive in the US. I think he has several things working he may not be telling you about, for instance, once the daughter turns 18 she can petition her mother, unless, of course, you adopt her.

Apologies but why do you keep saying "baby momma"?

Two different women. The plot thickens.

[callmekay 19]

Pathological liars are good at explaining stuff. So, two LTR's before he met you that he hasn't quite yet come clean about. Is he listed on his daughter's birth certificate? Does he have sole legal custody? Most countries give the mother of a child born out of wedlock sole custody. See if he will be willing to let you adopt his daughter once they arrive in the US. I think he has several things working he may not be telling you about, for instance, once the daughter turns 18 she can petition her mother, unless, of course, you adopt her.

Two different women. The plot thickens.

I've met the baby momma. And she's signed a quit claim already. And yes. She's no longer in VN and she already explained to him that she has another child and won't be able to provide for the daughter

When we met I was only aware of he one so I assumed. Maybe it was my fault for not asking clearly.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I've met the baby momma. And she's signed a quit claim already. And yes. She's no longer in VN and she already explained to him that she has another child and won't be able to provide for the daughter

When we met I was only aware of he one so I assumed. Maybe it was my fault for not asking clearly.

Quit claim? I have only heard that term when adding someone to a deed.

[lost_at_sea 995]

Quit claim? I have only heard that term when adding someone to a deed.

+1

Quitclaim deeds are in regards to property. It means they jointly owned something and she's given up her rights to it (happens in divorces all the time).

Sorry... I got confused about which one he remembered he was married to.

Edited August 29, 2013 by lost_at_sea