Waiting for the Green Card - Filling the Gap.

[scott76 22]

Just curious what your spouse is doing while waiting for the Green Card?

My (now) wife came over on a K1 Visa, and I'm just shocked at how bad they make it for immigrants. In a nutshell, I'm waiting for the EAD/GC so that she can get a bank/debit card, a drivers permit, a Colorado ID card, and most important a job (not so much for the cash as for something to do during the day). All of these are such basic things we take for granted, and every one of them is almost essential to feeling like you are a part of this country. Luckily I make enough money to more than take care of us, and I live in a downtown area where she is within walking distance of everything. If I wasn't she would go crazy.

Our relationship is strong, and nothing is going to fall apart or anything drastic like that....but the biggest issue so far has just been that she sits at home trying to entertain herself every day. I've gotten her a gym membership, she goes to the library for MS Office classes and some english classes, but not having a job and the satisfaction of doing something and earning a paycheck is killing her esteem and confidence here. Not to mention the whole practice of having to ask me for money or asking me to drive her to do basic things like shop at the store. Of course I'm not withholding anything from her because I understand this is a delicate time (and well, she's my wife and I want to make her happy), but wow I feel horrible for what she's going through with this sometimes.

Just curious - anyone else going through the same thing? What is your spouse doing during this time period?

[JadedKiwi 8]

I'm the non-USC spouse; I'm the one who has to sit at home everyday and it drives me insane.

I had to wait for my EAD before I could get my drivers permit, and a SSN, but at this point in time I'm not having much luck with learning to drive. My husband works pretty much 7 days a week, his time off is spent recuperating and I don't blame him as his job is stressful, and then there is nobody else who can teach me. We live nowhere near walking distance to anywhere so I literally feel stir crazy a lot of the time.

It's a horrible feeling to feel almost as if you've lost your independance. In the UK I could leave my house and catch a bus to go meet my friends for coffee, visit relatives, and go to the gym etc. Here, I can't do any of that. It is great that your wife has some of her independence still, going to the library to learn things, and going to the gym. You're very correct when you say that your confidence and self esteem take quite a bashing too, I was never a quiet person but now I am shy as hell.

I spend my days chatting to family on Facebook or Skype, I play games online, read, read, read, and read more lol. Over here I am actually in desperate want of getting a job because I'm tired of asking my husband if I can have clothes/cosmetics/girly stuff, I hate feeling like I'm bugging him for some kind of allowance. After I got my EAD my husbands boss wanted some books printed out and binding, I could work because I jumped in the truck with my husband to his workplace, it took me two weeks back in August but it was lovely to have the little income that I got from it. I still have a chunk of it left and it's good to not ask my husband all the time for money for things.

Hopefully our greencards will be on the way soon, and all of us sat at home twiddling our thumbs can begin to come back out of our shells and actually regain some of our independance

Edited November 5, 2012 by JadedKiwi

[Darnell 8,478]

make a garden with a hotbox. Tend to it, daily. If'n you were smart, you chose exotic things for your seeds, where local chefs pay high $$ for the plants for cooking.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Look into volunteering. I think a sense of purpose is important, for self-esteem.

[Member9 3]

I got my EAD card in early July, got my SSN right after that. Yet, since then I've been trying my luck with the learner's permit and gotten nowhere. I had no trouble passing the test; yet, they refused to give me the learner's permit. I showed them every document I had to prove my immigration status: our marriage certificate, my spouse's birth certificate (to prove his citizenship), my EAD/AP combo card, receipt of the adjustment of status application, notice of transfer, passport, in short, just all the papers I had. They still gave me a shake of their head, "Wait for the green card to come and bring it here". It's a 30 minute drive from where I live to the driver's license center. I've run out of drivers, who can take me there. I don't know if the driver's license center people are dirtheads or the policy in Pennsylvania is different. Being house arrested is driving me nuts, especially when nothing is within the walking distance. In the meantime, the green card is still like thousands of light years away.

[JadedKiwi 8]

I got my EAD card in early July, got my SSN right after that. Yet, since then I've been trying my luck with the learner's permit and gotten nowhere. I had no trouble passing the test; yet, they refused to give me the learner's permit. I showed them every document I had to prove my immigration status: our marriage certificate, my spouse's birth certificate (to prove his citizenship), my EAD/AP combo card, receipt of the adjustment of status application, notice of transfer, passport, in short, just all the papers I had. They still gave me a shake of their head, "Wait for the green card to come and bring it here". It's a 30 minute drive from where I live to the driver's license center. I've run out of drivers, who can take me there. I don't know if the driver's license center people are dirtheads or the policy in Pennsylvania is different. Being house arrested is driving me nuts, especially when nothing is within the walking distance. In the meantime, the green card is still like thousands of light years away.

Getting my permit was a headache too. I was told countless times that I couldn't have a permit until I got my Greencard, they were insistent on it until I asked what the point of me having a work permit is if I have no way to get to work, after some 'umming' and 'ahhhing' they allowed me to apply and I had to go through their SAVE system twice to have my immigration verified before they even let me take the test.

Keep on their asses about it, and try the same thing I did. Explain to them that they can verify your immigrations status through their SAVE system and that you're certain they won't find a problem with it, pretty soon you'll be returning to get a permit.

Maybe our first visits we lucked out, I find a lot of workers in some places don't want to go that extra mile to find out information that is actually a relevant part to their jobs.

[Member9 3]

Getting my permit was a headache too. I was told countless times that I couldn't have a permit until I got my Greencard, they were insistent on it until I asked what the point of me having a work permit is if I have no way to get to work, after some 'umming' and 'ahhhing' they allowed me to apply and I had to go through their SAVE system twice to have my immigration verified before they even let me take the test.

Keep on their asses about it, and try the same thing I did. Explain to them that they can verify your immigrations status through their SAVE system and that you're certain they won't find a problem with it, pretty soon you'll be returning to get a permit.

Maybe our first visits we lucked out, I find a lot of workers in some places don't want to go that extra mile to find out information that is actually a relevant part to their jobs.

I said the same thing "it just doesn't make any sense when I'm given the right to work and not given the right to drive to work". Yet, still, "We can't give you the learner's permit until you show us your green card".

They did check my immigration status online and said "it's pending. Wait until you are approved." Another time they said the immigration people put a "stop" to their verification request. I don't know what they meant by "put a stop". They wouldn't explain.

I'm tired and out of patience. Actually, I don't think I'd get anywhere trying to convince those airheads of my eligibility of the learner's permit.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Please read your state's laws concerning issuance of DLs and learner's permits before you make a trip to the DMV. With a learner's permit, you are not allowed to drive on your own anyway.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I got my EAD card in early July, got my SSN right after that. Yet, since then I've been trying my luck with the learner's permit and gotten nowhere. I had no trouble passing the test; yet, they refused to give me the learner's permit. I showed them every document I had to prove my immigration status: our marriage certificate, my spouse's birth certificate (to prove his citizenship), my EAD/AP combo card, receipt of the adjustment of status application, notice of transfer, passport, in short, just all the papers I had. They still gave me a shake of their head, "Wait for the green card to come and bring it here". It's a 30 minute drive from where I live to the driver's license center. I've run out of drivers, who can take me there. I don't know if the driver's license center people are dirtheads or the policy in Pennsylvania is different. Being house arrested is driving me nuts, especially when nothing is within the walking distance. In the meantime, the green card is still like thousands of light years away.

Per their website: http://www.dmv.state.pa.us/pdotforms/fact_sheets/pub195nc.pdf

You are an "Applicant for Adjustment of Status" per page 4. I suggest you print this page and take it in and ask to speak to a supervisor. if that doesn't work I would not leave the branch and call head office and wait to speak to someone. Let them know what trouble you are having, that their OWN website states your documents are sufficient and ask someone to call, while you remain on the phone with head office, to talk to the supervisor there (and give them the name of the person you spoke to). That should work. If it doesn't, ask for clarification on why their website says one thing and yet they are refusing to stand by the instructions/rules on their own website. Good luck!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Not to mention the whole practice of having to ask me for money

Why don't you get her a bank account and put money in it for her to spend as she likes? Not all banks require a SSN to open an account (Wells Fargo told me at first I did but when they actually went to do it turns out they didn't).

If that doesn't work, you could always give her a card with your name on it and give her a PIN for it. That way she can use it.

Having to ask for money is a suprisingly big deal. It's amazing how different it feels to have access to money again.

[Member9 3]

Per their website: http://www.dmv.state.pa.us/pdotforms/fact_sheets/pub195nc.pdf

You are an "Applicant for Adjustment of Status" per page 4. I suggest you print this page and take it in and ask to speak to a supervisor. if that doesn't work I would not leave the branch and call head office and wait to speak to someone. Let them know what trouble you are having, that their OWN website states your documents are sufficient and ask someone to call, while you remain on the phone with head office, to talk to the supervisor there (and give them the name of the person you spoke to). That should work. If it doesn't, ask for clarification on why their website says one thing and yet they are refusing to stand by the instructions/rules on their own website. Good luck!

As a matter of fact, I talked to everybody at that driver's license center, including the supervisor. They seemed not to know much about what they were doing. I even went to the state representative's office. His aide made several phone calls, to the immigration people, and to the department of transport people, then she asked me for the same documents that I had showed to the people at the driver's license center. She made a copy of each and sent them to Harrisburg, PA's capital city. She said I should be fine and should get a letter from Harrisburg within a couple of days. It's been a couple of weeks, and still nothing but disappointment. Worse, I believed the representative's aide's words and thought I should get the learner's permit in a few days and then it would take me only about two or three weeks to get the driver's license, so I jumped the gun, applying for a job, passing the interview just to have to call in later and admit that I couldn't take it because I didn't have a driver's license. I burnt the bridge to that company already.

Edited November 6, 2012 by Member9

[KrisandJennie 35]

Just curious what your spouse is doing while waiting for the Green Card?

My (now) wife came over on a K1 Visa, and I'm just shocked at how bad they make it for immigrants. In a nutshell, I'm waiting for the EAD/GC so that she can get a bank/debit card, a drivers permit, a Colorado ID card, and most important a job (not so much for the cash as for something to do during the day). All of these are such basic things we take for granted, and every one of them is almost essential to feeling like you are a part of this country. Luckily I make enough money to more than take care of us, and I live in a downtown area where she is within walking distance of everything. If I wasn't she would go crazy.

Our relationship is strong, and nothing is going to fall apart or anything drastic like that....but the biggest issue so far has just been that she sits at home trying to entertain herself every day. I've gotten her a gym membership, she goes to the library for MS Office classes and some english classes, but not having a job and the satisfaction of doing something and earning a paycheck is killing her esteem and confidence here. Not to mention the whole practice of having to ask me for money or asking me to drive her to do basic things like shop at the store. Of course I'm not withholding anything from her because I understand this is a delicate time (and well, she's my wife and I want to make her happy), but wow I feel horrible for what she's going through with this sometimes.

Just curious - anyone else going through the same thing? What is your spouse doing during this time period?

My husband moved here from Scotland and is VERY used to doing something all the time. When he had to sit on his bum waiting for the EAD, he started going a little batty. It drove him (and by default, me) crazy! He luckily got the EAD in about 6 months and was able to start working. Once he was working, he was so happy!!! He basically would go for runs or hang out with our neighbor (who wasn;t working at the time) until he could start. We also got a puppy so he was able to take care of her during the day. We live in a rural place so he wasn't really able to go anywhere which is what drove him the most crazy. But it will come so don't worry too much!

[Ikki 4]

My wife is taking classes at a community college while her greencard arrives. She takes the bus to school and she seems happy right now.

[TBoneTX 45,319]

*** Thread shifted from main AOS/Family-Based forum to Case Progress subforum. ***

[Labi 4]

*** Thread shifted from main AOS/Family-Based forum to Case Progress subforum. ***

New York state is different when it comes to getting driver licence without green card. infact i got my learners permit with just my passport, marriage certificate and SSC. after i got the EAD i took it back for the expire date to be updated on the permitt which they did. i was able to get a driver licence too. Most of this people working at the DMV dont much and would not want to grant any I.D except you show them green card if you are not a U.S citizen. It all about point here in New York, there are documents you have to present to claim these point and you wont have problem once you are able to to attain those point. i guess you must have 6 point here in new york.