Filipina wife got greencard, child, education and divorced me

[MBSalvador 3]

Hi, Don't really know where to post this but I met a Filipina online, we fell in love, I went to Philippines, met her, spent 2 weeks with her, took her to Boracay and Baguio city, everything perfect. Did the K-1 Visa, she got here, we married. She did not want to work. We had a baby, she got her green card. When she met other Filipinas here who married rich men, and have big houses, swimming pools and lots of spending money, they treated her like ####### because her husband is not rich and lives in a mobile home.

So, she decided money is now her goal and I cannot provide it because I don't have a degree and just will never make a lot of money. She is 30 and I am 52 so I know she also wants to live life and have fun but I could never afford to take her out and buy her things because I don't make enough and she would not work or could not work because of the baby. She found out RN's make a lot of money so she applied for and got free education to become a nurse so she quit her p/t job to go to school full time and that put us in bankruptcy....then left me for a man that makes more money, sued me for divorce, child support and Alimony. Now with all the welfare she gets, all the money I have to give her and whatever she gets from her boyfriend, she just goes to school full time and does not have to work. She and her bf will marry as soon as our divorce is over and then with her nursing income and his executive income, they will make a lot of money together. I only make $35k a year but he makes well over 100k. So now, we are separated and will have final divorce in a year. Sucks to be me, huh?

So now I'm alone and nearly broke after paying her 40% of my income in child support and alimony but I am 1/2 Filipino and want to keep my connection to the Philippines and I dont think all Filipinas are bad, I just got one that was and I want another one....not so young maybe. I'd like to find one already here but there are so few where I live. I'm wondering if I can get another one from the Philippines after I divorce. What will USCIS think about it? What are the rules and pros and cons? Can I even do it even if I can somehow get the money to do it all again?

Anyone here ever had another wife immigrate here from PH? Any thoughts are appreciated.

[soinlovewithyou 1]

first sorry for what happen to you..yes you can get another one, just make sure you find the right one this time...

[epsonderby 85]

Sorry to read your story.

'I'm wondering if I can get another one from the Philippines after I divorce'

Interesting wording...like a commodity? I should imagine looking for 'another one' should be the furthest thing from your mind right now.

[lyricalan 18]

Sorry to read your story.

'I'm wondering if I can get another one from the Philippines after I divorce'

Interesting wording...like a commodity? I should imagine looking for 'another one' should be the furthest thing from your mind right now.

I usually don't offer my personal opinions on here since everyone has one you know. But I agree with your comment about the commodity. The post struck me the same way. I am trying to be patient waiting for my NOA2, and looking forward to my financee being here and marrying. But I think we all should realize Filipinas are people with hearts, souls, minds, feelings, families etc. and should offer our love and support if we are fortunate enough to find that special someone who is willing to leave their homes and lives and move to a foreign country. I feel sorry for the OP that his situation turned out to be less than ideal, but IMO, just "get another one", seems very condesending and sounds as though this could be an item for purchase rather than a fellow human being. Ok I've said my peace and hope the OP is able to find a positive resolution for an unfortunate situation.

[TeddyHoney 42]

Wow. Sorry to hear about your predicament. You cando it again. I did. I was married to Filipina for over 10 years and we had a daughter together and she started wrking and running with a particular crowd and also wanted to be rich. So we divorced - good bye and good ridence! While we were married still and she was seeing someone else, I was also coresponding and chatting with my current wife. I filed for 129f about 2 months after I had the divorce decree in my hands. My current wife has been here from the Phils for 10 months now.

A littel confused about your post. Its probably just the way I'm reading it but:

- You said your wife "she would not work or could not work because of the baby." then you said " so she quit her p/t job to go to school full time and that put us in bankruptcy" - was that because she quit her part time job or because of the free nursing education?

- Also you said "She found out RN's make a lot of money so she applied for and got free education to become a nurse " - How did she get free nursing school with you working and making above poverty line income?

- You said "Now with all the welfare she gets, all the money I have to give her " - You mean she gets welfare - like means tested assistance? I hope not because you may have to pay that back because of the I-864 you signed. And also you guys are not divorced yet so why is she getting money from you? Is there a court ordered Child Support and Alimony signed by the judge? Or is it some kind of separation agreement?

Sorry, just trying to understand. It may be time to no longer be concerned about what her and this guy are doing and what they will do and make, etc. Except where your child is concerned. As far as your soon to be ex- dump that and be only concerned with your child. What kind of custody or visitation do you have?

It will hurt for awhile but you will get over it and realize that the best thing to come out of that marriage was your child. And in time you will care less and less and less about your ex and what she is doing. Unfortunately, she will always be somewhat in the picture because of your child. You're not the only one in that boat.

God bless you in this situation.

[MBSalvador 3]

I usually don't offer my personal opinions on here since everyone has one you know. But I agree with your comment about the commodity. The post struck me the same way. I am trying to be patient waiting for my NOA2, and looking forward to my financee being here and marrying. But I think we all should realize Filipinas are people with hearts, souls, minds, feelings, families etc. and should offer our love and support if we are fortunate enough to find that special someone who is willing to leave their homes and lives and move to a foreign country. I feel sorry for the OP that his situation turned out to be less than ideal, but IMO, just "get another one", seems very condesending and sounds as though this could be an item for purchase rather than a fellow human being. Ok I've said my peace and hope the OP is able to find a positive resolution for an unfortunate situation.

Sorry you felt I was so condescending. I guess I learned that whole "I'll just get another one" from my ex-wife.

[MBSalvador 3]

Wow. Sorry to hear about your predicament. You cando it again. I did. I was married to Filipina for over 10 years and we had a daughter together and she started wrking and running with a particular crowd and also wanted to be rich. So we divorced - good bye and good ridence! While we were married still and she was seeing someone else, I was also coresponding and chatting with my current wife. I filed for 129f about 2 months after I had the divorce decree in my hands. My current wife has been here from the Phils for 10 months now.

A littel confused about your post. Its probably just the way I'm reading it but:

- You said your wife "she would not work or could not work because of the baby." then you said " so she quit her p/t job to go to school full time and that put us in bankruptcy" - was that because she quit her part time job or because of the free nursing education?

- Also you said "She found out RN's make a lot of money so she applied for and got free education to become a nurse " - How did she get free nursing school with you working and making above poverty line income?

- You said "Now with all the welfare she gets, all the money I have to give her " - You mean she gets welfare - like means tested assistance? I hope not because you may have to pay that back because of the I-864 you signed. And also you guys are not divorced yet so why is she getting money from you? Is there a court ordered Child Support and Alimony signed by the judge? Or is it some kind of separation agreement?

Sorry, just trying to understand. It may be time to no longer be concerned about what her and this guy are doing and what they will do and make, etc. Except where your child is concerned. As far as your soon to be ex- dump that and be only concerned with your child. What kind of custody or visitation do you have?

It will hurt for awhile but you will get over it and realize that the best thing to come out of that marriage was your child. And in time you will care less and less and less about your ex and what she is doing. Unfortunately, she will always be somewhat in the picture because of your child. You're not the only one in that boat.

God bless you in this situation.

Thanks for your reply. I said she did not WANT to work. She bitched and griped about having to work but she had to because our living expenses went way up after she got here. She liked to spend money and so she did. So, she got a f/t job for 10 months but had to quit when the baby was born, so after a year of being a mother, she got into school free based on our income and her not working (Louisiana = easy welfare)and our family size. But then we were struggling and she finally got a p/t job but then started school and couldn't keep her grades up because her job was getting in the way of her homework so she quit. We were so financially strapped that without her income, we began to default on Credit cards and then car and house. So, she found out about bankruptcy and said it was the only way and if we did it, she could be an RN and we'd make so much money and all would be right. I foolishly went along and we filed for bankruptcy. That freed up just enough money to pay her child support and alimony. What a coincidence! The court awarded her child support and alimony. In Louisiana, a woman can get her divorce for free, all she has to do is file a false restraining order on her husband saying he was mean to her and even without a police report or any evidence whatsoever of any violence and the divorce comes with it for free...they just make the husband pay all costs. I on the other hand, could not afford an attorney so it was open season on me in the courtroom and they just gave her everything she wanted. They even pointed out to her that she had asked for everything but forgot to ask for the house and that if she would just go down to the Clerks office, they would do the paperwork and send me the bill. But she said she didn't want it. (she would never live in a mobile home, only losers live in mobile homes) So, in order to get free housing, food, medical etc., all she has to do is rent a room so she has an address and apply as a displaced mother of a child and the State takes care of the rest. That way she can live with bf and still get everything else.

As far as paying back her welfare if they invoke the I-864, they can just add it to my bill like they did everything else.

[pigmonk 16]

Im sorry to hear your story. I am a Filipina myself, and my fiancee in USA only makes $20,000 a year, and has no degree but i do respect him and love him with all my heart, and when i get there, I can even work my #### off for both of us and he can stay home if he wants. because he had done so much for me, financially and emotionally.

Not all filipinas are like the one you married. Im sure you'll find the right one and marry again

i just really don't understand why one person would do such thing.

Good luck on your journey.

[KrystelKyle 16]

Sorry to hear about your story,you can surely get a new one from here in PI just make sure to know her more and before taking risk. I myself as a filipina hate to hear story like this:( and I know there are more out there and not all filipina are like ur ex-wife. You will definitely marry the right one soon:)

[TBoneTX 45,394]

*** Thread moved from Moving Here forum to Effects of Major Changes forum -- topic is more appropriate in latter forum. ***

[Jack&Maria 5]

I am so sad about your story..She is not the right woman for you!If she really loves you even you don't have money she can be happy!But I guess, she was jealous with her Filipina friends who got married to rich men. Life is not just money and spending it to all your wants. I hope she will realize it!You will find a woman who will accept you with all her heart and soul. Just remember, that our heart chooses someone to love but our brain helps us to make the right decision!! Make sure to find a woman who will love you! Never quit on love!!!!

[thinkerlove0212 158]

Im sorry to hear your story. I am a Filipina myself, and my fiancee in USA only makes $20,000 a year, and has no degree but i do respect him and love him with all my heart, and when i get there, I can even work my #### off for both of us and he can stay home if he wants. because he had done so much for me, financially and emotionally.

Not all filipinas are like the one you married. Im sure you'll find the right one and marry again

i just really don't understand why one person would do such thing.

Good luck on your journey.

Wow really?

[Darnell 8,478]

but I am 1/2 Filipino and want to keep my connection to the Philippines and I dont think all Filipinas are bad, I just got one that was and I want another one....not so young maybe. I'd like to find one already here but there are so few where I live.

Here's my thoughts, however malformed.

Get to Hawaii, find the lass you seek at one of the 12 local churches that have a high percentage of Phils contingent. She's there, divorced, running a small business, hating the island life and looking to live on the mainland with a trusting, caring man.

Edited November 1, 2012 by Darnell

[thinkerlove0212 158]

Hi, Don't really know where to post this but I met a Filipina online, we fell in love, I went to Philippines, met her, spent 2 weeks with her, took her to Boracay and Baguio city, everything perfect. Did the K-1 Visa, she got here, we married. She did not want to work. We had a baby, she got her green card. When she met other Filipinas here who married rich men, and have big houses, swimming pools and lots of spending money, they treated her like ####### because her husband is not rich and lives in a mobile home.

So, she decided money is now her goal and I cannot provide it because I don't have a degree and just will never make a lot of money. She is 30 and I am 52 so I know she also wants to live life and have fun but I could never afford to take her out and buy her things because I don't make enough and she would not work or could not work because of the baby. She found out RN's make a lot of money so she applied for and got free education to become a nurse so she quit her p/t job to go to school full time and that put us in bankruptcy....then left me for a man that makes more money, sued me for divorce, child support and Alimony. Now with all the welfare she gets, all the money I have to give her and whatever she gets from her boyfriend, she just goes to school full time and does not have to work. She and her bf will marry as soon as our divorce is over and then with her nursing income and his executive income, they will make a lot of money together. I only make $35k a year but he makes well over 100k. So now, we are separated and will have final divorce in a year. Sucks to be me, huh?

So now I'm alone and nearly broke after paying her 40% of my income in child support and alimony but I am 1/2 Filipino and want to keep my connection to the Philippines and I dont think all Filipinas are bad, I just got one that was and I want another one....not so young maybe. I'd like to find one already here but there are so few where I live. I'm wondering if I can get another one from the Philippines after I divorce. What will USCIS think about it? What are the rules and pros and cons? Can I even do it even if I can somehow get the money to do it all again?

Anyone here ever had another wife immigrate here from PH? Any thoughts are appreciated.

I am so sorry about your marriage, When i first met my husband i didn't know how much he would earn a year not until i got here in the US, and we do the joint account.

Because before we got engage we talked about our plan, our dreams and goal in life, besides we love each other so much, but of-course we want to be sure we have the same goal, plan and goals in life, that is why we got married... For me i don't care what we have how much money we earn a year, what matter is we love each other and we are content...

Good-luck

[MarcoAndMaria 4]

I'm sorry that had to happen to you. Good luck on your next chapter in life! Keep you head up!