HELP! COMPLETE change of personality.... :(

[vacrimefighter 10]

If this is how the relationship is now - I can not see it getting any better over time. I am no Dr. Phil..

So... I came here to the Philippines ONLY for my fiance, i've sent the initial I-129 packet off end of Dec, got notification of NOA1 around jan 4 but sad to say i just wasted all my time, money, and effort for her.... almost EVERY DAY we're arguing and she's too damn stubborn to listen or work out or anything..... all she does is run away and she thinsk that's the solution to our probs when it just makes it 10x worse!!! She is even avoiding her own family and doesn't even sleep at home anymore.... and dont even mention to text/call her as she doesn't ever reply to anything even V-day i just stayed by myself.... i even made up a story that i got snatched and you guessed it! she didn't even care and just hungup the phone on me bec she's too damn SELFISH and SELF-CENTERED & only remembers the negative parts of our relationship... really never met a more HEARTLESS girl then her it's quite sad bec before this trip she wasn't like this AT ALL otherwise i wouldn't have invested so much into her.

Anyway...... so needless to say, she doesn't have a copy of the I-129F i made for her.... and she also doesn't have the original receipts i brought.... im THINKING of coming back here in May 10 to surprise her in time for her bday later in the month and as a last resort to fix our relationship as by that time maybe i would already receive notification of NOA2...

i need to know what i should do with her complete copy of all the i-129 papers, and also the original receipts that she should bring to interview, if ever... should i leave them with a trusted person here? or should i bring everything back home with me and play the waiting game.... :/

i even took many pics of us in our few times we hungout together as "ongoing proof of relationship" as required by the NOA2, but didn't make any copies of anything.... including the hotel receipts. I just dont wanna waste EVERYTHING which is why im trying to utilize all my options esp. while im still here.

PLEASE HELP! DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ....

[Orando 57]

Thank you everyone for your prompt replies...

Out of all the replies yours I feel the most partial to. I've spent TOO MUCH on this girl, this is the 4th time in 2 yrs I've came to spend time with her, and obviously is HANDS DOWN the worst. From the entire time I've spent here, (since jan 6) you can almost count on 2 hands the # of days she's stayed with me. Not to mention that on my 2-year anniversary trip to Cebu, she left me there, along with all of her baggages and things in the hotel room, and absolutely FOOLISHLY paid P3300 (using her original return flight mind you for the next day should be) to rebook the flight. And NO she/her family dont have money either, so how stupid could she be to do that? Even a BAR GIRL wont do what she did.... i never physically hurt her, but this just goes to show you how PROUD and how ULTRA-STUBBORN a girl she is.... only reason why I didn't drop her right then and there is bec I'm a FIGHTER and have spent the most on her out of any girl i've been with and before this trip to Pinas everything was SO GOOD & we were even talking about marriage.... otherwise if she gave me ANY signs at all that this how she really is within the 1st few weeks (or even months!) of dating her i would've NEVER wasted any more time on her but.. it's diff. when you've lived together and done absolutely everything together as if husband/wife already but i've tried sooooo many things already and am near my end. Orando, that's why I'm thinking of coming here in early May ONLY IF i haven't already found a new one by then... bec she needs a DRASTIC CHANGE and 1 day she will realize that her actions were so wrong.

Btw, if anyone is in Metro-Manila (currently i'm in cubao) and wants to meet up with me in person to help me cope with this problem (or if you have a similar prob i'd love to talk to you). It would be much appreciated. Pls contact me on either of my #'s:

SMART: 0947.583.6992

GLOBE: 0906.260.3393

Hey man, you seem like a decent dude, sucks you are just now going through this after 2 years in this relationship. Just giving you some additional food for thought here, a lot of people are telling you to quit and give-up on your woman, which is typical and sometimes justified however, I respect the fact you are thinking this through, you seem to love this woman in an unconditional sense, which is the same love I have for my wife, and you are not ready to give up on her yet, which I admire. When you do get married, these qualities in you will be a blessing to your marriage and will provide the opportunity for grace and peace to prosper in your house.

The only 2 reasons I would advise you to consider leaving your relationship for are one, infidelity, or two, her heart has already left the relationship or was never there to begin with. Only you know the answers to these questions, I cannot make a determination of this based on what you wrote because I do not know you, your woman, the history of your relationship and I am not well versed or experienced with Pilipino culture. I suggest you find out the answers to these questions and be honest with yourself. Is there someone in your life that is good with women, that knows you and your life and can give you feedback that is timely and precise taking into consideration the cultural context of the Philippines that you are hunting in? If the answer to either one of these questions is yes, then, I think you can understand and already know that you are in for a heartbreaking and painful experience with your woman.

If the answer to both questions is no, she is faithful to you and she does truly love you, the road still remains difficult and challenging ahead, I am of the opinion that all relationships will hit their respective and relative hard times, trials and tribulations dependent upon the 2 people involved in the relationship, people have different strength and tolerance levels. I understand that many Pinays are women of faith and are Catholic, if you have it in you, I would suggest speaking to her in terms of faith, in terms of Christ, the cross, forgiveness, repentance, sin, Christ centered love..etc, all the while understanding you are powerless to change her, only she can decide to allow Christ to work in her heart and mind, see if she is capable of producing fruits of the holy spirit, if you accept that school of thought. That is the only advice I have to give you if you choose to remain with your woman, regardless of the situation and circumstances. If you are not a follower of the Christ, then I would advise you to seek out counsel from wherever it is you get counsel regarding your relationship.

Just some food for thought, take it for whatever it is worth to you, take care and I pray you find peace in these storms.

[HRHRHRHR 0]

I think this is common for many people. Meeting someone in one situation then when things start to get serious things change. It is a very hard situation to come by and more than one person go through it. I think trust your gut and don't let anyone take advantage of you, There seems to be many who try to do that.

[BughouseMaster 3]

JUST THREATENED HER THAT I'LL POST OUR NUDE PIX AND SEX VIDS IF SHE DOESN'T CONTACT ME ASAP.

WE'LL SEE HOW MUCH LONGER SHE TRIES TO AVOID ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THIS WILL DEF. GET THE JOB DONE... NOT SURE WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF DOING THIS EARLIER....

[Ron and Rhea 42]

Umm ok, this thread has officially jumped the shark.

[Orando 57]

JUST THREATENED HER THAT I'LL POST OUR NUDE PIX AND SEX VIDS IF SHE DOESN'T CONTACT ME ASAP.

WE'LL SEE HOW MUCH LONGER SHE TRIES TO AVOID ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THIS WILL DEF. GET THE JOB DONE... NOT SURE WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF DOING THIS EARLIER....

Oh my, eye for an eye is not an effective short or long-term strategy in a relationship....

[mari&Ryan 93]

That's disturbing to say the least. OP You just don't threaten a woman or anyone in any form or shape. Hopefully no one here will encourage you.

Edit to add: I can see very well why this woman doesn't want anything with you. Geez

Edited February 18, 2012 by mari&Ryan

[Stu4Lee 66]

Whatever is the girl thinking??

That she has a good headstart maybe??

JUST THREATENED HER THAT I'LL POST OUR NUDE PIX AND SEX VIDS IF SHE DOESN'T CONTACT ME ASAP.

WE'LL SEE HOW MUCH LONGER SHE TRIES TO AVOID ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THIS WILL DEF. GET THE JOB DONE... NOT SURE WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF DOING THIS EARLIER....

Talking of personality changes.....what a tool

Edited February 18, 2012 by Stu4Lee

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

JUST THREATENED HER THAT I'LL POST OUR NUDE PIX AND SEX VIDS IF SHE DOESN'T CONTACT ME ASAP.

WE'LL SEE HOW MUCH LONGER SHE TRIES TO AVOID ME!!!!!!!!!!!! I THINK THIS WILL DEF. GET THE JOB DONE... NOT SURE WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF DOING THIS EARLIER....

and on that note, this thread is now closed. do not restart this thread.