RUBbette Wives & Housework, si man

[slim 1,530]

I have the Dermo book as well. Too funny!

[visaveteran1 33]

It's hard to translate directly because Russian swearing is more complicated. You can't just translate "f#>k" directly--I mean, there is a verb "to eff," but you would also use different words for certain situations where we just use the F word.

The word "Fu*k is a non sequitur. It means nothing and everything. You might hear, "Yeah, that was real fu*king good!" Or, "That was real fu*king bad!" If you win the lottery you might say, "Oh fu*k!" If you lose the lottery, you might say, "Oh fu*k!" just with a different tone or modulation depending.

It's also a pause or fill word like "uh" or"umm" or even "like" ("I was like in this great shop and like I couldn't believe the prices!") Example for f-word... "I was in this fu*king bar and the fu*king bartender spilled my fu*king drink." More positive, "I was in this fu*king great bar and the fu*king hot bartender made this great fu*king drink!"

Oh well, fu*k it...

[eekee 182]

But you can say the same thing in Russian; you just wouldn't use ебать or a derivative form every time.

[ONA 133]

But you can say the same thing in Russian; you just wouldn't use ебать or a derivative form every time.

There might be even more options in Russian...

[eekee 182]

There might be even more options in Russian...

Yep.

[TBoneTX 45,608]

There is an entire discourse on the incredible flexibility of the word "####" Google it.

F*** YOU

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the word ** -- which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, or hate. Linguistically, ** falls into several grammatical categories. It may be used as a transitive verb in active voice (John fvcked Mary), as an intransitive verb (John fvcked up), or in passive voice (Mary was fvcked by John). It may serve as a noun (Mary really doesn't give a **), as an intensifier in its form as a present participle (Mary seems fvcking interested in John), or as a predicate nominative (Mary is a terrific **). Undoubtedly, there are very few other words with the unique versatility of **.

In addition to its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

GREETINGS: How the ** are you?

FRAUD: I got fvcked by the car dealer!

DISMAY: Oh, ** it!

TROUBLE: Well, I guess I'm fvcked now...

AGGRESSION: ** you!

DISGUST: Aw, ** me.

CONFUSION: What the **?

DIFFICULTY: I don't understand this fvcking business.

DESPAIR: I'm fvcked again!

INCOMPETENCE: He fucks up everything.

DISPLEASURE: What the ** is going on here?

BEING LOST: Where the ** are we?

DISBELIEF: Un-fvcking-believable!

RETALIATION: Up your fvcking #######!

* It can be used in anatomic descriptions: "He's a fvcking arsehole!"

* It can be used in telling time: "It's five-fvcking-thirty!"

* It can be used in business: "How did I wind up with this fvcking job?"

* It can be used in genealogy: "He's a ####!"

* It can be used in political references: "** Barack 0bama!"

Use of the word ** has been noted throughout world history. General Custer's last words were, "Where did all them fvcking Indians come from?" The mayor of Hiroshima fulminated: "What the ** was that?" And, last but not least, let us recall the immortal words of the captain of the Titanic, who asked, "Where is all this fvcking water coming from?"

The mind fairly boggles at the creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say "**"? Use it frequently in your daily speech; it will add to your prestige, si man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

F*** YOU

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the word ** -- which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love, or hate. Linguistically, ** falls into several grammatical categories. It may be used as a transitive verb in active voice (John fvcked Mary), as an intransitive verb (John fvcked up), or in passive voice (Mary was fvcked by John). It may serve as a noun (Mary really doesn't give a **), as an intensifier in its form as a present participle (Mary seems fvcking interested in John), or as a predicate nominative (Mary is a terrific **). Undoubtedly, there are very few other words with the unique versatility of **.

In addition to its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

GREETINGS: How the ** are you?

FRAUD: I got fvcked by the car dealer!

DISMAY: Oh, ** it!

TROUBLE: Well, I guess I'm fvcked now...

AGGRESSION: ** you!

DISGUST: Aw, ** me.

CONFUSION: What the **?

DIFFICULTY: I don't understand this fvcking business.

DESPAIR: I'm fvcked again!

INCOMPETENCE: He fucks up everything.

DISPLEASURE: What the ** is going on here?

BEING LOST: Where the ** are we?

DISBELIEF: Un-fvcking-believable!

RETALIATION: Up your fvcking #######!

* It can be used in anatomic descriptions: "He's a fvcking arsehole!"

* It can be used in telling time: "It's five-fvcking-thirty!"

* It can be used in business: "How did I wind up with this fvcking job?"

* It can be used in genealogy: "He's a ####!"

* It can be used in political references: "** Barack 0bama!"

Use of the word ** has been noted throughout world history. General Custer's last words were, "Where did all them fvcking Indians come from?" The mayor of Hiroshima fulminated: "What the ** was that?" And, last but not least, let us recall the immortal words of the captain of the Titanic, who asked, "Where is all this fvcking water coming from?"

The mind fairly boggles at the creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say "**"? Use it frequently in your daily speech; it will add to your prestige, si man.

My favorite? "** me"

Tbone, do you have a program which changes al "u"s to "v"s

[visaveteran1 33]

Use of the word ** has been noted throughout world history. General Custer's last words were, "Where did all them fvcking Indians come from?" The mayor of Hiroshima fulminated: "What the ** was that?" And, last but not least, let us recall the immortal words of the captain of the Titanic, who asked, "Where is all this fvcking water coming from?"

The mind fairly boggles at the creative uses of the word. How can anyone be offended when you say "**"? Use it frequently in your daily speech; it will add to your prestige, si man.

An excellent and scholarly treatise on our favorite word. I only struggle with the actual meaning of "fu*k you." What does that mean? Is it a command that I must fu*k somebody? Or am I supposed to somehow fu*k myself? I hate to think of that one. Of course, it's intent is insult but it does seem without actual meaning.

Very fu*king puzzling. Now, can we start on sh!t? Let's talk some good sh!t. Fu*k yeah, man.

Edited December 31, 2011 by visaveteran1

[Codeblue009 3]

She doesn't do toilets and she does not do "man's work" Man's work is anything done with a "greasy machine" (lawn mower, chain saw, weedwhacker, etc) or anything which is "heavy lifting" or "dirty" So trash, moving furniture (she will wash the windows but you have to move the sofa out of the way) She does not "fix" anything...man's job. Light bulbs, change furnace filter, unclog toilets, broken handle on the pots and pans, hanging pictures and curtain rods...all man's work.

She does not clean her own rifle! Hoppe's number 9 is not her favortie fragrance.

Also she would accept assistance on anything but I have to be supervised because men generally cannot do these things properly because it is not in our nature and this knowledge is way above us...except for toilets

Got a lesson on being supervised. Jenia was watching me cook for New Year's eve (I'm in Donetesk now, less than two hours for New Years!!! See Gary, I actually got here finally :-))She was telling me I could cook this way and that. I wanted to oven to reach 350 degrees and was told, "are you crazy!!!!!!" The oven only goes to 200. :-) Now how do you cook a proper salmon on 200? Very slowly!!!!! :-) Anyway, it is good getting to know each other domestically.

Sorry I've been away from the boards for awhile, but at least I've been making my time very useful!!! Been to Ukraine 6 times the last 6 months. :-) Every fourth weekend I come here. I love this country!!!! Oh... Of course the beautiful women make this sacrifice ll worth it!!!!;-)

[eekee 182]

200 degrees CELSIUS

[TBoneTX 45,608]

Tbone, do you have a program which changes al "u"s to "v"s

This ink-stained wretch changed them all manually after seeing which were "####'d" out during Preview Post, see man.

[Codeblue009 3]

200 degrees CELSIUS

Ahhhhh...Thanks, now I feel like A DURAK!!!!

[TBoneTX 45,608]

Returning to the initial intent of this thread, sigh man:

Tonight, I returned from two lengthy errands to find rather convincing evidence that Mrs. T-B. had attempted to bake a chocolate cake. The first piece of said evidence was a small cake, 75% eaten. Next was an irregular trail of crumbs, icing, and white flour that led from the cake across the stove and countertop into the sink. On the floor, Mrs. T-B.'s pets, the kitchen ants, were lustily partaking of what was presumably chocolate icing.

By conservative estimate, approximately 6,998 of our 7,001 pots, pans, plates, saucers, cups, glasses, and silverware utensils had been used in this bake-caking process. All of those that weren't left on the stove were in the kitchen sink, carefully ordered from largest to smallest (as viewed from top down) except when smaller items were inside larger items. The drains on both sides of the sink were completely clogged with a viscous brown liquid, presumed to be cake-mix, icing, or a combination. An attempt to unclog one side by starting the garbage-grinder ended prematurely when it became clear that an ungrindable object (later found to be one of Mini-Bone's little forks) was down the drain.

An exploratory plunge of the forearm to the bottom of the plugged right-sided sink in an attempt to locate the steel scrubber resulted in concentric rings on the right upper extremity: flour; cake-mix; chocolate icing; and chocolate icing with other-colored items, presumably rice and strawberry-leaves. The scrubber, which was eventually found without anyone's being impaled by the several kitchen knives at sink bottom (of course not in the plastic container designated for all silverware & utensils), was an unrecognizable colloidal conglomeration of various foodstuff macromolecules. Fortunately, a new scrubber was available under the sink.

All sinked and sunken items had to be removed from the sink in order to order them for cleaning. These were then replaced into the sink amidst sinking feelings.

After hot water was run in everything in order to loosen the congealed cake-preparation items, each item was scoured and otherwise properly prepared for placement in the dishwasher. Meanwhile, Daffodil the Cat was yowling in dismay nearby, unmistakably trying to say: "There's a cat hair in my water! How can I possibly drink this?"

Later (67 minutes thereof), everything was unsunked and the dishwasher was started. At this point, Mrs. T-B. appeared and asked innocently, "What are you doing?"

Me: I'm washing the dishes.

Her (innocently): I was going to do that.

Me: What the dickens happened here?

Her (brightly): I made a cake!

Me: I see that, but what happened here?

Her (engaging well-known-to-us puppy-dog eyes in actual or very-well-feigned innocence): I wanted cake, and we didn't have any, so I made one.

She then went to diminish the remaining 25% of her production.

Benjamin Disraeli: Bigamy is having one wife too many, si man. Monogamy is the same thing, sigh man.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Tbone, I hate to tell you this, but your wife is Ukrainian and you went through that Guayaquill HELL for nothing! You should have been in Kiev. Forget the dishes...ask her about THAT!

[TBoneTX 45,608]

your wife is Ukrainian

In that case, Ukrainian Spanish dialect is very much like that in Guayaquil: drop every last syllable. Mini-Bone is learning this, sigh man.

Which parts of the preceding saga were most and least Ukrainian, huh man?