BEEN ACCUSED OF ABUSE

[agenthelp 0]

I am what you would call US citizen who happend to get married to a foreigner( wont mention ) the country of her origin as I wouldnt want to offend anyone from that country .I know people are different cant judge anyone from that country .I met my wife online in and I went to her country we married in her country though I filed for a k1 visa for her which was easy .She was approved and came here to the USA .We have 2 childrren together and we been married now 5 years .We had problems the 18 months ,she claimed that she was having difficulties to adjust and her pregnancy at that time and that she missed home and her people and the food she didnt like it .this brought a toil of our marriage in the process I got upset and didnt file immigration papers for her.She has been out of status since 2006 I just found out that she filed for vawa under emotional abuse and she gat her green card .MY BIG QUESTION IS how is this going to affect me as a person.Can I be arrested or what .I am really freaking out now.How did she manage to get a green card without my help.Iam sorry I never filed immigration papers I was scared she would run away with our children to her country I need help please.

[bigdog 376]

Probably more to the story here. She used the system, If no local police came you are probably good to go. I think I would see an attorney to cover yourself. If you get arrested for spousal abouse you have additional big problems beside your marriage and kids.

[agenthelp 0]

our problems where not were we could become physical so no police involved I hear people can be approved based on emotional abuse.Yes its my fault maybe somehow somewhere for failing to file AOS for her ,she said becuase I constantly made threats about her being out of status and she was affraid of being deported and leaving the children behind thats why she filed for vawa,her having a green card I careless but does that affect my charactor or my job ,am I in the system as a bad person also if we divorce does that mean I cant petition for anyone?

Probably more to the story here. She used the system, If no local police came you are probably good to go. I think I would see an attorney to cover yourself. If you get arrested for spousal abouse you have additional big problems beside your marriage and kids.

[az110965 252]

If she filed under VAWA and was approved for green card you are definitely noted in the USCIS database. If you divorce and then petition for another woman you will have issues and the VAWA will be a dificult obstacale to overcome.

Also, due to IMBRA - any future woman you petition will be notified by the Embassy that your last (current) wife filed VAWA and was approved. There is no way to expunge this from your record and is in a database that is checked by USCIS, NVC and the Embassy.

You will have problems petitioning someone else in the future...

[Joe Bue 0]

She filed for VAWA based on your psychological abuse in that you did not file to get her green card. Psychological abuse is as bad if not worse than verbal and/or physical abuse.

Edited October 15, 2011 by Joe Bue

[agenthelp 0]

Hope you guys understand yes I didnt file for AOS was trying to protect my kids thought she would run with them to her country also became scared as I didnt file for her in so many years thought that would put me in trouble.Anyway she has her card now like I said which I careless .My question how does being labled as an abuser affect my charactor ,can the police came for me .I am just scared ,how about my kids .I am planning to divorce how will that affect me having custody of my kids?

She filed for VAWA based on your psychological abuse in that you did not file to get her green card. Psychological abuse is as bad if not worse than verbal and/or physical abuse.

[Joe Bue 0]

Hope you guys understand yes I didnt file for AOS was trying to protect my kids thought she would run with them to her country also became scared as I didnt file for her in so many years thought that would put me in trouble.Anyway she has her card now like I said which I careless .My question how does being labled as an abuser affect my charactor ,can the police came for me .I am just scared ,how about my kids .I am planning to divorce how will that affect me having custody of my kids?

I think you being the abuser in your case will not affect your character or your job as no one other than immigration will know. I doubt very much the police will come for you or they would have already have been. Your wife could fight you for custody of the kids. Your wife can not take the kids out of the country without your permission.

You should see a lawyer.

[ceadsearc 516]

You should definitely see a lawyer, but it sounds like you need a family law lawyer, not an immigration lawyer. The immigration stuff is done, USCIS has dealt with it, she got her green card. Your divorce/custody case, however, is something you'll need to handle.

I am slightly confused, though - if you were already married in her country, how did she get a K-1 visa?

[agenthelp 0]

hello ceadsearc

Yes we married twice first in her country and second here in the USA.I had filed for a K1 visa for her ,whilest waiting we went ahead and married in her country and 2 months later the k1 was approved.So we didnt change the process to CR1 .We left the process as it was we just went ahead and gat married within 90 days of her arrival.

You should definitely see a lawyer, but it sounds like you need a family law lawyer, not an immigration lawyer. The immigration stuff is done, USCIS has dealt with it, she got her green card. Your divorce/custody case, however, is something you'll need to handle.

I am slightly confused, though - if you were already married in her country, how did she get a K-1 visa?

[skiptex 225]

ooh AND lied to the USCIS.. no bueno.. don't ask me to be character witness..

[Farsider 7]

Probably more to the story here. She used the system, If no local police came you are probably good to go. I think I would see an attorney to cover yourself. If you get arrested for spousal abouse you have additional big problems beside your marriage and kids.

Yeah, there's got to be more to the story alright. But from the little information we have so far, it is clear that the consequences of not doing things right in the first place are catching up now. Since the OP decided to share this situation with the VJ community, I for one would like to hear the wife's version (probably not going to happen).

"... I am sorry I never filed immigration papers I was scared she would run away with our children to her country..." -- the timeline of getting married (in her country), coming to the U.S. on a K-1, having children, not filing immigration papers.... ....something is out of whack here.

[Moomin 292]

It doesn't matter if you were scared or not, it matters what is considered abuse physically or emotionally in the eyes of USCIS and/or the law. Being out of status for your wife also meant not being able to return to you if she wanted to visit her foreign family. For 5 years, that is. I'm not siding with your wife/ex-wife just to make it clear. But if she convinced USCIS of abuse you may want to see a lawyer about the issue of child custody if you haven't already.

Getting a greencard on her own showed that she wasn't going to run off to her home country the minute she got it.

[misswiss 6]

Hope you guys understand yes I didnt file for AOS was trying to protect my kids thought she would run with them to her country also became scared as I didnt file for her in so many years thought that would put me in trouble.Anyway she has her card now like I said which I careless .My question how does being labled as an abuser affect my charactor ,can the police came for me .I am just scared ,how about my kids .I am planning to divorce how will that affect me having custody of my kids?

LOL "trying to protect your kids"??? she's been out of status since 2006 and how were you trying to protect your kids by having their mom remaining illegal therefore could have been deported anytime?

Yeah...good luck i wish y'all the best and next time you get a wife, please don't abuse her..

I think it's a lot to leave your home country, come to the US being homesick and dealing with a man who threatens to never file for your papers that's called being CONTROLLING and yes it is worse than physical abuse, poor girl...SMH

[Joe Bue 0]

LOL "trying to protect your kids"??? she's been out of status since 2006 and how were you trying to protect your kids by having their mom remaining illegal therefore could have been deported anytime?

Yeah...good luck i wish y'all the best and next time you get a wife, please don't abuse her..

I think it's a lot to leave your home country, come to the US being homesick and dealing with a man who threatens to never file for your papers that's called being CONTROLLING and yes it is worse than physical abuse, poor girl...SMH

My wife is verbally abusive, has thrown hot tea at me and then punched me and I'm sure there will be more physical attacks in the future but my wife not doing my AOS and lying about it is the worse abuse, its 24/7. Last Thursday my wifes ex came to the door with batteries for my step daughters calculator, my wife asked him for the $40 he owed her he said he didn't have it so she chased after him with an hot bowl of soup and threw it at him.

My wife like you needs help, I suggest you see a lawyer because your wife could get you on spousal abuse of a foreign partner and you should read about cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy. Both types of therapy will make you a better, happier guy for your kids, yourself and future wife.

In an ideal world I wish that you and your wife would get back together and make things right.

[ceadsearc 516]

hello ceadsearc

Yes we married twice first in her country and second here in the USA.I had filed for a K1 visa for her ,whilest waiting we went ahead and married in her country and 2 months later the k1 was approved.So we didnt change the process to CR1 .We left the process as it was we just went ahead and gat married within 90 days of her arrival.

Ah, I see. Well, I honestly have no idea if that could come back and bite you (or her) later, but it's definitely misuse of a visa since a K-1 applicant CANNOT be married before entering the country.