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[The Mother 0]

I first met my fiance on a dating website 5 years ago, after 5 months exchanged emails and chatting we met in person and engaged 3 months later. We discussed a lot about having a family together and apply for K1 visa both before and after we met. 3 months after our engagement, he came back to visit me the 3rd time and have me sign in the forms for K1 visa. During his 3rd visit I got pregnant our first child. I have no idea he has no intention to be with me from the beginning, I thought he was serious and wanted to have a family with children, that's why he gave me the forms to sign in. He told me that he submitted the petition, I did believed him. I was extremely in a bad health and suffer a lot while I was pregnant, I wanted so much to be with my fiance and have him take care of me, give me a better treatment in a different environment, support my spirit. Every time I asked him what was going on with the process, he said there's nothing he could do but wait. About 5 months later, he told me that the petition was returned because the stamp on his divorce certificate came off for some reason, the uscis would't accept it and they required for another one within one month since the date they ask for it. He did not check his mail box (P.O box), therefore he has to submit the whole thing again (fill in the forms, pay fee...so on). There won't be enough time if he re-submit again the petition because I was 5 months pregnant at the time, he said we should wait until our child born, we would apply passport for the child and then re-submit the petition. Time went by, our first child was born. Since the condition and environment we live down here in VN, he complains about my people, my country and every single thing that is going on here every day, we began fight and argument a lot, he even hit my stomach after I gave birth to the child one week. When our first child was 8 months age, I got pregnant the 2nd time. I thought about having abortion for many reasons, I was not completely recovered yet, the child was too young, need a lot of attention and care. I was not so sure what to do. I kept the child, she is now 2 years and half...

My fiance came to VN to support me when I gave birth to the 2nd child. He works for a college as instructor, he has lots of time off. He visited me every 3 or 4 months before the 2nd child was born. After that, we had argument a lot more, he did not return until our 2 child was 15 months. There's time he stopped supporting 3 of us, about 4 months. We had a very difficult time, no money to pay for food as well as rent. We had to ask for support from my sister and friends. I talked about sending the kids to school so that I can go to work, he always find a reason this or that to have me stay home take care of the kids. I decided to stay home for a couple more years to take care of the children until they can eat well and in a better health. That's reason why I was in such a bad condition when he stopped supporting. He appolozied and want to get back to me and the kids, he talked about us being together again. I have always wanted to have a family and the kids to have both real father and mother, I also thought about the kids future. I accepted him again. I never discuss about K1 visa with him again, until we got back together and he talked about apply for K1 visa in May 2009. Once again he never mention anything about visa thing during the period of time he visited us in summer time. In middle September '09 he told me that he hired a service to prepare paperwork for us and already submit petition in October (He can't remember what date he submit it). In late November, I called the guy that did the paperwork for us, he told me that my fiance just returned the forms with signature of mine few days ago. We had big fight over this, I said if he already submitted the petition, he should hear from the uscis by now, the website says clearly that it takes 2 business days or a couple weeks to mail the NOA1, there're thousand people out there talk about how to get a receipt number by looking at the back of the check. He said he did not see anything when he checked his bank account online, he needs to go to the bank to ask for it, he does not know what I was talking about, I always listen to stupid dumb white ####(He's from Dominica) online, I have no knowdlege how things work... bla bla. Late December '09 he came back to visit us, he said he has not heard from uscis, nothing at all. I knew he was telling lie, I have no way to prove it. He returned to US the end of January '10, he said he called the uscis so many times, they said they already sent out NOA1 3 times and he never got it. In late Feb '10 he said he would go to see lawyer or uscis office.. bla bla, then few days later he said he called his friend knowing that the uscis sent a letter to his friend address (He said he used his friend address because he knew he would be down in VN for awhile), at the same time he called his bank and he has someone from the bank delivered the check, he saw the receipt number and so on... We were approved less than 2 months since NOA1. I have received appointment letter from HCMC Consulate, he came down here spend almost 3 months with me and the kids and to give me documents that are needed for the interview. He did not spend any time to discuss with me about the up coming interview until 4 days before he left VN, we went to print emails, transfer pictures from his flash drive into CD-rom, form I-134 and so on. The night before he left, he sat down and gave me documents as well as air tickets, money transfer receipts, divorce certificate... At that time, he told me that he was married twice, not once. The 2nd marriage was not really official, he used to live in CO, he said as the law in CO, after 2 years you live with someone, the person is considered your wife or husband. He never told me about this, he said he married a Chinese woman for one month, then divorced because she only wanted a GC. It was not true, his 1st marriage was last for 11 years with a black woman, the 2nd was with a Chinese woman for 2 years. He said it is not important, yes I don't care how many time he got married before, it is important that he is honest with me. He has no birth certificate either, he said his real age is different from his passport and other documents, when he was young, he wanted to join military, therefore his parents had someone make him another birth certificate and change the year when he was born, up to 10 more years older than his real age. He gave me his certificate of naturalation and copy of his passport. That's how I found down he was from Dominica. He told me that he was born in US, grew up in NY, lived in many different states, he gave me so many different addresses every time. When we began to file for K1 visa again, he gave me his self-storage address (I had a friend in a US find down from a real estate website), sometime he uses the same address, yet he told me that it was his friend address, another time he signed his name saying he is residing there and he owns the place.. bla bla... On the form I-134 he signed, I found out that he submitted the petition in Febuary '10, not October. He gave me a very bullshit reason that he was in hurry, he forgot to sign the form I-129F, it took over a month to receive it back, by the time he got it back, we had some argument and fight, therefore he decided not to submit again. What pissed me off is he was not honest with me from time to time, from the begining we met, he lied about the process, he admitted that he never submitted it, he gave me all kind of reasons and fool me non-stop, this time I thought he learned from his mistakes and want to make up for us, he would try his best and make an effort to get it done as soon as possible instead of telling lie, give me different story each time, I was wrong again, he took it for fun, whatever... He said he is proud of living in US, has a better life and live with human being, not like us in VN, we live like animals, stupid and poor... At the same time he made decision for his children to be born and grow up here, my first daughter is almost 4, we've been living here in a poor country and we are proud. I'm fed up with him telling lies, if he does care about all of us, he would have done something earlier and we all could have been together by now. 5 years, I had two abortion (when I have time, I will talk about this matter) and gave birth to 2 daughters with him, waiting and waiting... If I have to go to US now, the only reason attract me is education for my girls. I dont really think it does has to be USA, there's lot of Vietnamese success here in my country and have a comfortable life. He made decision for them to be born here from the beginning, I have no control over this. When they are old enough, they will make their own decision to be with him or me... I've gone through so much, was abused, hit, offend, disrespect, pain and torture. At this point he talks about being together, he still hide where he he lives and who he is. 5 years is unhappy time of my life, I am not sure I want to go to US. I think it would be different if he was honest with me about what he did, who he was and what he really wanted.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

There's no way I would go, if I were you. That does not sound like a man worth marrying or changing your life so drastically for.

[TBoneTX 45,291]

There's no way I would go, if I were you. That does not sound like a man worth marrying or changing your life so drastically for.

Agreed. If he hit you even once, you should declare the relationship to be immediately & permanently over. Also, he has lied to you, or at least clouded the truth.

[mrsean 4]

take him for everything he has then screw him over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and have him arrested

[ScottThuy 140]

Given how difficult it is to get a visa from HCMC... it may be a nonissue when it comes to him abusing you here... if there are any inconsistencies in the documents, they will not issue the visa... so his BC and passport not matching will be a huge hurdle...

[Ryan H 3,812]

Don't go. I agree with Coconuts, this man is not worth drastically changing your life for.

The fact he hit you, never should happen.

He also lied to you, that also never should happen.

Edited September 14, 2010 by Ryan H

[Aidenaileen 1]

You beared and passed all of difficult time just because children. Calm down. Now just wait until come to USA, for our children get better life, after that you make a choice for your self. Apart or together thats up to you.

[Anh map 2,098]

Do both of your children have US passports?

[patient2010 93]

you better watch him he may bring you here and never marry you and that will be a whole other issue.....GOOD LUCK to you in whatever decision you make

[sachinky 465]

I'd stay put right where I was, if I were you.

Major douche-bag alert!

[Robert de Bonda 3]

You beared and passed all of difficult time just because children. Calm down. Now just wait until come to USA, for our children get better life, after that you make a choice for your self. Apart or together thats up to you.

I agree with Thanhphong. I'm from an island close to Dominica and consider myself of the same cultural heritage and I can tell you without a doubt that his behavaior is not what is expected nor tolerated in our islands. Think about your children. If you believe even a tiny bit that they can have a better life in the US, go to the interview. When you get here, try or not as you poease to work things out with their father; but do your utmost to try and ensure that they have the life that they are entitled to.

Good luck.

[Caribbean Lady 3]

Hope you make a decision that is right for you and and your kids. I understand that you may want a "better" life and the USA seems like the place but am afraid you may do it for that reason and if you have no support(both morally and financiall), you'll be disappointed. He's not going to treat you any better if you get here; it could be worse once you're here.

[sachinky 465]

Hope you make a decision that is right for you and and your kids. I understand that you may want a "better" life and the USA seems like the place but am afraid you may do it for that reason and if you have no support(both morally and financiall), you'll be disappointed. He's not going to treat you any better if you get here; it could be worse once you're here.

[kennym 275]

Guys like this, really are special.. I hate to hear about this, it really upsets me such losers exists and are free to travel the planet detroying people lives..

I wonder.. Your children are Technically American Citizens. Can anyone comment if she can immigrate on that basis of her children?

[ScottThuy 140]

not until they are old enough to sponsor her..