Regretting that I am a US CITIZEN!!

[Movin on New Life 3]

Well my fellow VJers... it has been a few months since my last posting... quite a few heartwrenching, devestating months!

Unfortunately my Visa Journey is now coming to an end and not a happy one... I am still in shock, disbelief, anguish and hurt and now merely

another sad static. I have read many sad stories here of other people in the same position one way or another being victim to someone merely wanting citizenship.I had so

much sympathy and compassion for all of them... but said to myself no that wont happen to me...

My heart (what is left of it) and prayers go out to all of them.. May I also be so bold as to advise all of you still waiting.... no matter how much he or she says

they love you.... protect yourself and make sure there is trust and even arrangements made for..."what if US immigration isnt approved" have they asked and even made arrangements

of any kind for you to return to their home country or another country in order to remain husband and wife???? If not..then chances are pretty high they just want US citizenship.

Having kept this all to myself and not spoke of any problems to my friends or family.... I am left to fulfill my need to have someone to talk to, by posting here. So for anyone

who cares to listen.... here goes..

We were married August 2005... my husband was here in US on tourist visa. Our I130 was on the dining room table (awaiting copy of our marriage certificate to arrive in the mail) as we

drove to Canada to visit some friends, do some business errands, and have our honeymoon. It was absolutely wonderful! Wonderful until we came to customs to return to US. (Note... before

we left we placed a telephone call to an attorney supposedly experienced with immigration to ask if we need anything or should have any problems... his response... "no as long as his tourist visa

is valid") When questioned by the booth officer as to why we were in Canada.. we spoke the truth... friends, business and we were celebrating our honeymoon" He said ohhh great congratulations! A few minutes

of him writing something and on the computer... he handed us a slip and said ok you need to go inside and speak with them. Once inside and questioned... they asked if we had a I130 in process. told them no it

was not submitted yet because we were waiting for marriage certificate...which by the way arrived in mail the day we left for Canada. Then they took my husband's passport drew a line thru it...voiding it and said... you can go back to US but he can not... he is now your husband and you must submit I130. They gave him a 6 month visa to stay in Canada. "Totally inlove" I was not leaving without him. we turned around, went back to Canada

searched for hotel, I stayed for two more days and left him with my car and returned by bus to US to handle I130.. Totally lost devestated and crying the whole 6 hour bus ride home. Being Niave I drove 4 hours to Vermont

Service Center to submit my I130 expecting some kind of piece of paper to take to Canada to retrieve my husband. More hysteria sets in.... no no no what do you mean could take 6 months to a year????

computer research, inquiries... telephone calls..and then my eyes are truly OPENED with my introduction to VISA Journey.com....

After confirming this could take months... we got an apartment... my husband began his own arrangements to begin attaining temporary permission to stay in Canada after the 6 months while we waited for the I130.

Now with a few exceptions,,, for the next three years EVERY Sunday I drove 5 hours to spend one week in Canada to be wife to my husband and then the next week in US to be mom to my adult daughter and keep my

business functioning. Every little thing that could go wrong seemed to go wrong to delay the processing and completion of the I130. (word of advise... always always confirm and reconfirm any and all

information requirements and/or procedures you will need.. Lawyers and yes even USCIS employees give incorrect information causing even more frustration and delay.

Fast forward now.... 2006 at the interview we are informed we need a I601 submitted due to his almost 6 month overstay in US back in 1994) More delays in getting required documents and information

to submit the I601 waiver... hours and hours and months.... I finally submit almost 200 pages of waiver in Sept 2007. Periodic inquiries over the next year get me nothing but processing

was told could take up to 18 months. Almost 2 years later I finally get the senators office to do something. Within 24 hours of Senators office asking for supervisor... we receive denial! hmmmm????

July 2009... my husband begins telling me they are never gonna approve....you should go on with your life and he should begin considering alternative....

alternatives I thought meant living in greece or something.... not family prearranging Arabic woman in Canada!!!! (Why did I not try to live in Canada you ask.... I did paid all the money for processing residency

there only to be denied... I didnt meet the required "Point system" due to them not accepting my post high school education as "Accreditied Colleges") the last 8 months I began to see strains on our relationship..

my husband who was always open... loving... and eager was becoming irritable, reclusive and even secretive... this combined with my visits becoming every two weekends to twice only going up one long weekend for the month

due to family illness, death and my getting hurt. Then boommmm the bombshell dropped... his words cut like a knife....." we have to accept things... they are never going to approve and my time

in Canada is running out... have to make other arrangements... his tears and his words, telling me I should not come up for awhile because it hurts too much and we should try to make it easier incase we do have to be seperated... for the next long almost three months... his phone calls still every nite and even more than once a day, ...kept me believing our love..and hoping and working on US approval...

I go to his work just before his is to be done because I knew I wouldnt be able to get into the apartment because he had informed me allegedly someone broke into the apartment a month prior and he had to change the locks...

I call his cell to tell him I am outside.....he comes out... what are you doing here I thought you were not coming up until two weeks longer... told him I couldnt wait any longer

told him I would just go home unpack and make diner for him... he said no wait 20 minutes for me to get out of work... want to go for a drive first.

I anxiously wait... he comes out... takes me for a drive... go to a park and he says... walk with me... I have to talk to you... "I have tried so many times to tell you over the phone but I didnt want to hurt you but

I have been telling you I have to make arrangements because my time is running out... you cant go to the apartment...someone else is living there now... moved in today!

What???? I was hysterical.... I couldnt beleive it...crying questioning overwhelmed I make him bring me back to my car... all the time him begging... pleading... even crying that he was so sorry and didnt want to hurt me

and trying to convince me that he did and STILL does loves me!!! I get back to my car and take off to our apartment... he follows me.... arriving at the apartment before him... I look up and can see in the window a woman there and some of my stuff in the hallway.... I ring the buzzard to open outside door... she answers hello hello... I say I am XXXX"s wife let me in... she says no XXXXX lives here he moved....

He comes running down the walkway now.....devastated I run to my car... he hops in from passenger side pulls my keys out and says wait wait listen...

Fast forward again....I am too upset and besides myself to drive the almost 6 hour back to US... He brings me to hotel... spends next 2 hours pleading with me to understand and forgive him for hurting me... all the while

she keeps calling his cell every 15 minutes or so... he leaves and ofcourse I dont sleep... just cry and vomit all nite... he begs me to stay and talk to him more tomorrow. ok I guess enough details

on the subject.... I am sure you get the jest of it all..

Now the next two months of his calls and my tears and pain... while I try to figure things out.... he keeps telling me.... you dont have to divorce me.. he doesnt want a divorce... he just

needs time to figure out... that she is just incase... because I wouldnt be able to see him if he was sent back to EGYPT..etc Also two months of her and her friends sending me emails saying she was told

we were getting divorced long before her but had been held up for a year because I wouldnt sign and I was just for US citizenhip etc ...

Well I find out that a Canadian citizen can sponsor as common law partner.. all they have to do is prove living together. Now the Ultimate betrayal!!!!!!! I find out yesterday that she is pregnant!!!!

just arrangement for Canada papers.... bullcrap!!! He just didnt want me to divorce and cancel US.. I am sure now his intentions were to wait and divorce me after he got his US approval.. How could I have been so stupid and such a fool!!!!! shock...devestation...betrayl....pain pain pain... these words dont even begin to describe how I feel now.

I have always been happy and proud to be a US citizen.... but because of this I regret being a US citizen...

Thank you for listening....now I must begin to deal with how I will face the shame and hurt and foolishness I feel when telling my family and friends

God bless and spare anyone this kind of pain

[lissa04 3]

I am so sorry. If I were you I would contact Canadian immigration and explain to them that he used you to get immigration benefits and that he is using this other woman to get immigration benefits in Canada. I am sorry but he doesn't deserve to be in the two best countries in the world. I feel bad that you have to go through this, but I honestly feel he should not gain any benefits as he was trying to commit marriage fraud. If you go to the embassy or immigration and report him, hopefully they will put a big red flag and deny him permanent residency. I would also contact US immigration as well and let them know this as well since it is a crime. If he is convicted of immigration fraud he can kiss his Canadian residency goodbye. Canada is very strict on people who have criminal records. I know deep down in your heart you still care, but he played you for a fool. You should be proud that you are a US citizen, it's just sad that so many are taken advantage of only for immigration benefits.

[Harsh_77 718]

I read the saga... but I am sorry there is nothing wrong in being US citizen. You were naive and you did not understand the law right.

Officer at the entry did his job and he was 100% right in denying entry to your husband after honeymoon. When he first got his tourist visa, he did state he was going for non-immigrant purpose.

After marriage that status had changed and so did his intention so his B1/B2 is not valid anymore.

You driving to Vermont and just handing the form to someone and they would stamp it right away - comon that does not work that way.

From begining of the story, you I can tell someone coming to US on B1/B2 as tourist and falls madly in love and is getting married to US citizen, most likely he/she is only doing that to live in US - comon.

Sorry I am rude, but m honest and frank.

[Ahmed&Rachel 8]

I am truly lost as to what I should say. There are a lot of mixed and raging feelings going through right now that I can hardly even focus enough to put words together, but I will try. I think saying (I am disgusted, revolted, repulsed, sickened and nauseated…etc) would never suffice. This is one of the moments that make me feel ashamed of being Egyptian. Never be ashamed of who you are because you are the innocent. He is the guilty.

It is this piece of filth and the likes of his kind are the reason why genuine relationships are being scrutinized and put under the radar for so long and causing pain to every loving couple who end up in AP or get treated like thieves just for loving each other from two separate places across the globe. I cannot and do not even want to begin to understand how a man can cast away what defines him as a human and emotionally violates a vulnerable woman, using the most wonderful gift in the world as a weapon at his disposal. Turning love into a living nightmare to chain the unsuspected victim just so he can escape bad economic conditions or just belong to a first world country for a change.

How many times it tore my heart to see warnings of Egyptian men fraud on a lot of embassies newsletters (and specifically Egyptian males) because of men like this. I hope they do burn in hell for their deceptions and the damage they have done to their partners and other Egyptians in general.

I am truly sorry for you that you had to go through this. I know that my words are cheap but I hope you would find support in them, or at least know that someone out there knows your pain. I think we have a lot of members who had the same experience and I am sure they can help you through these difficult times.

Please do not drown yourself into depression for someone who doesn’t even deserve a single tear. You have don’t nothing wrong. You loved unconditionally and sacrificed everything for your love’s sake. It just turned out that this love wasn’t true on his side. It is true that you might have done a mistake of not seeing the signs earlier and noticing his desperate attempts to just get a visa, but who am I to judge? We all know how love can blind us and it happened to me personally several times before. I hope other women would read about your experience and open their eyes more and protect themselves against the likes of this jerk. DO NOT let it break and lose confidence in yourself and lose the ability to love again. Wounds do take time to heal. Let it heal and in time we will all pray for you that you will find the true love that a person like you really deserve.

[Fandango 1,439]

I am really sorry you had to go thru this, but it seems like it could have been that the relationship didn't survive the strain of the visa. I dunno. Seems like you two were exhausting all of your options.

Contacting Canadian immigration to affect his possible petition there may be short sighted...if the child is his, do you want to be the reason a child grows up away from his/her father?

To be ashamed of being American because of this...I have no words.

But take care of yourself and best of luck with healing.

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

I'm sorry you are going through all of this, but I would forget about him and move on. What a mess.

[ghanagal 2]

Wow I am very sorry for all you have been through a soap opeara. I hope life blesses you in so many other ways after dealing with this BS

[sara..... 371]

im very sorry this happened to you.......

i have added you to my prayers thats all i can offer you.

plz dont be angry at the usa it was your partner that lacked the ability to stay with the marriage, for many immigration is harder than for others and if the man or women was weak and made the choice to do what you husband did and perviz did just means that they had bad intentions or they are two weak to do the long haul.....means something else would have came up to send them running

i hope that you can move forward and chalk this up to a very very bad experience but please do not give up on love and finding the right person there are loads of jerks out there and sometime u gotta pull a lot of weeds to find the flower hidden

sara

[MRStee 19]

Dont regret being a US Citizen... Please stay strong and positive. Nothing will ever go right for him because you don't just go around hurting people like that. As for the woman who is carrying his child, well she is a fool. After he dumps her, she will be forever connected to him by the child. I'd like to see how she is gonna explain to this child what happened to its father.....

I will keep you in prayer. You seem like a caring woman. You will be blessed

[lostinlove03 2]

Ai ye ye!!! I am so sorry for what has happened to you. I pray that time heals your wounds. Just remember that everything happens for a reason, even though it is hard to understand the reason at this current time.

Being a U.S.A Citizen is a privilege (in my humble opinion). You are lucky to have the resource and support of your country to remain independent and be an independent woman after an ordeal of this sort. (I am sure you know that but it's just hard right now).

And, I agree with the other member regarding reporting him to the Canadian immigration--only because of the child. I am sure he will pay for what he has done to you. But, you know your situation best and whatever you decide to do--may it bring you peace!!

Best to you!!

[slider100 8]

I am truly sorry for what happened to you! This makes us wonder, whom we can trust and whom we can't! You did a lot for him, and for I can't even imagine your plight the day everything came down on you.

I know this is easy to say but you need to move on! I read that you had a daughter, share a lot of quality time with her and things will work out for you. Don't let yourself ever be treated that way, you are truly precious!

As far as being a US citizen goes, it is truly a blessing to be a part of this free spirited country. I understand where you are coming from, but just give it sometime and if you ever want to talk, we all are here for you! You can send me a private message or a conversation on here would be fine too. Just hang in there, everything will work out for you!

KnR aka slider100

[Miss smarty pants 84]

Well I find out that a Canadian citizen can sponsor as common law partner.. all they have to do is prove living together. Now the Ultimate betrayal!!!!!!! I find out yesterday that she is pregnant!!!!

just arrangement for Canada papers.... bullcrap!!! He just didnt want me to divorce and cancel US.. I am sure now his intentions were to wait and divorce me after he got his US approval.. How could I have been so stupid and such a fool!!!!! shock...devestation...betrayl....pain pain pain... these words dont even begin to describe how I feel now.

As far as I know, Canada also does not allow polygamy. If the two of you are still legally married, then he can not get canadian residence based on common law marriage.....due to the fact that he is legally married to someone else (you) already. Report your marriage and this to the Canadian immigration officials.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Your story is heartbreaking. My heart goes out to you.......

[leahandlucas 15]

wow....i am so sorry, sounds like he got very desperate in the end. I hope that God is preparing the best man for you in the future, you deserve it. Not many women like you in this world that would do what you have done week after week....

[flustered 14]

I am sorry to hear of your tragedy...I was in a similar boat..I was Canadian and married a US citizen..I had two children from a previous marriage..I give up my life in Canada, marry him and move to US with my two kids...I get my alien card and work permit right away and get a job..It is then that he annouces that he is a "man" trapped in a womans body and wants to have a sex change operation...WTH??? needless to say he refused to sign the immigration paperwork for my kids..so here I am stuck in the US with no family..and two kids I can't get legal..I started divorce proceedings and he has the nerve to change his name to a "female " name..So long story short I have divorce papers that look like I was married to a woman..talk about a kick in the teeth...

This was 6 years ago and all is well now

[Travelbugs 3]

I just want to add another line of compassion... I am so sorry about what he has done to you. There are no words. I cannot fathom how someone could do that to another human being. This is totally incomprehensible.

But, do not blame yourself or be ashamed. He should be the one feeling ashamed to the bone!

I strongly believe in karma and poetic justice! He will get his share of the bad he's done. The good as the bad always comes back to you. And you have done only good keep that in mind!