Are We the Only Ones?

[trillium13 84]

Hey all...

Just need to vent a little. My hubby got his GC nearly a year ago-and he's had a really hard time finding a job. I think he's been employed maybe 3 months out of the past year.

I have an ok job-it's not great but it pays the bills-barely. Unfortunately, the stress of our lack of finances has really been getting to me, and it shows. They want to cut my hours back at work because they say I'm working too much. That's only going to make our situation worse.

Hubby started school this month-we were hoping that would make it easier for us down the road. He's been filling out apps like crazy just looking for something part time to help out. So far nothing.

The timing of everything isn't great-if we had known my hours were going to be cut, we would probably have considered moving to a whole new area, but now that he's in school...we really want to continue with that. We live in East Texas, not the most economically booming area. There hasn't been a ton of job loss here, but there has definitely been some. And few if any new jobs at all. My hubby is really smart and a very hard worker-but unfortunately around here, it's less about what you can do, and more about who you know.

We're pretty stressed out about it all and I'm really at a loss as to what to do next. I'm just about ready to start looking for a second job myself. i just want to know that it's not just us. We don't personally know any other people in our situation. All of my coworkers have jobs (obviously) as do their spouses. We don't really know anyone else around here. My family is 1500 miles away, and his at least twice as far.

Thanks for listening...K

[Mrs. Diaz 1]

You are definitely not alone. My husband has been unemployed for the past 10 months....(and that's the reason I'm still in Sweden and not in NY!) I'm so sorry to hear that they want to cut your hours back! I really don't know what to say to make you feel better.... all I can tell you is that you're not alone.

Don't give up. Things will change for the better!

Hey all...

Just need to vent a little. My hubby got his GC nearly a year ago-and he's had a really hard time finding a job. I think he's been employed maybe 3 months out of the past year.

I have an ok job-it's not great but it pays the bills-barely. Unfortunately, the stress of our lack of finances has really been getting to me, and it shows. They want to cut my hours back at work because they say I'm working too much. That's only going to make our situation worse.

Hubby started school this month-we were hoping that would make it easier for us down the road. He's been filling out apps like crazy just looking for something part time to help out. So far nothing.

The timing of everything isn't great-if we had known my hours were going to be cut, we would probably have considered moving to a whole new area, but now that he's in school...we really want to continue with that. We live in East Texas, not the most economically booming area. There hasn't been a ton of job loss here, but there has definitely been some. And few if any new jobs at all. My hubby is really smart and a very hard worker-but unfortunately around here, it's less about what you can do, and more about who you know.

We're pretty stressed out about it all and I'm really at a loss as to what to do next. I'm just about ready to start looking for a second job myself. i just want to know that it's not just us. We don't personally know any other people in our situation. All of my coworkers have jobs (obviously) as do their spouses. We don't really know anyone else around here. My family is 1500 miles away, and his at least twice as far.

Thanks for listening...K

[Aubrey 10]

It is not just East Texas. My husband applied for everything under the sun here in the Seattle metro area. You'd think in a huge area, he'd have an easier time. It took him 2 1/2 months to get his freight graveyard shift, which is sad considering his skills in IT. Myself, I've been off and on employed for 8 months, trying to find a FT job in my field. We moved to Seattle from Idaho, thinking it would be easier... but it really hasn't.

Best of luck. You are not alone. Many of us are suffering through the same cash-strapped situations.

[Val Marty 1]

We are in a similar situation as well, if not even worse. I can't work because I haven't got the permit yet, ad my husband is a full time student so he can only work part time (however he is working more than that), and budget is so tight... As for finding a job I did start looking even thou I can't work yet, and I haven't heard back from anyone. We live in Texas (dallas area) as well. The one job I got a call back from couldn't hire me because the wait for EAD was too long and it was a good job over my college major.

[KitEEgirl 0]

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time... We went through the same thing when my husband first moved here. We live in a small town in TN.... He never was able to find a job so he decided to go back to college for a 2nd degree...Fortunately enough for us, I make OK money and we can get by...

What did your husband do in Germany?

[TracyTN 237]

No, you're certainly not alone. Hubby has had the same troubles that your husband has had. He was a cab driver at Heathrow for the past 15 years - a job he actually LOVED - but as you can imagine doesn't 'translate' so well over here. He finally decided to start his own business repairing computers (something he always did 'on the side' over there) but as you can imagine, it's been hard building up a clientele.

We're lucky in the sense that I have a decent paying, stable job - but it has been really hard on him to feel that he doesn't contribute more than he does ($ wise). I try to tell him that cooking, cleaning, yard work AND the soon-to-be Mr. Mom role he'll be taking on is MORE than enough - but I know that has to hurt his male ego anyway.

I always knew him finding a job would be the hardest part of him emigrating - sometimes I wish we could warn impending immigrants of this because I think it's woefully underestimated. Feeling like you're contributing (esp. for a man) is important to overall happiness.

[New Beginnings 32]

You definitely aren't alone. I feel like we're very lucky, my husband was offered two jobs about 2 weeks into his search for one.

Have you guys tried looking at the lower profile jobs, like cashiering or even working at a fast food place?

[TracyTN 237]

He's considered it all. I think they see a man of his age (mid 40s) knowing that if he finds something else, he'd be out the door quite quickly.

[Mo_Mati 2]

Definitely not alone! My husband will complete two years here in May and it is still a struggle. He spent many months intensively working on his English skills, applied to every kind of job under the sun, has worked for a temp agency (with some success), and is now back in school finishing his university degree but trying to find part time work for when he is not in class. He would tell you that finding employment has been the hardest part of his immigration journey, and obviously that effects his morale and sense of self.

Honestly, it really stinks when people say thinks like "well, he can always get a job at a fast food place". umm...actually, no. He has applied, he has gone to interviews for everything from bakerys to restraunts, from cashiers to tellers, from data entry to administrative assistant.....and guess what? There are TONS of people applying for those same jobs because they, too, are out of work and are trying to find something--anything. In our experience, there is no "fall back job" at this point in our economy.

[Jon&Lindsey 0]

You're definitely not alone. I've been here 2 years now and still can't work in my field (I'm a vet and have to do a ton of exams to get a US license). I have tried to get other jobs but no luck, and I have to spend time studying/practising for the exams as well. Hubby has a job and we do internet-based work too, and I make and sell handbags online, but it's still very hard and my last exams are $5000! At least we do have something to look forward to though as once I get my license and can work as a vet again, things will be much better, so I know we are lucky really.

[TracyTN 237]

Honestly, it really stinks when people say thinks like "well, he can always get a job at a fast food place". umm...actually, no. He has applied, he has gone to interviews for everything from bakerys to restraunts, from cashiers to tellers, from data entry to administrative assistant.....and guess what? There are TONS of people applying for those same jobs because they, too, are out of work and are trying to find something--anything. In our experience, there is no "fall back job" at this point in our economy.

BINGO!! I don't know why people have such a hard time understanding that concept. I'm sure my family secretly thinks my husband is a deadbeat or something, but they've never been in his shoes. Most all of them have had the same job for years or just retired from a job that they had for years. They don't seem to understand he left a job he loved only to come here and have trouble getting hired at McDonalds -- and how hard that is to accept (let alone disheartening). It frustrates me and feel like I constantly have to defend him - although luckily my family has stopped saying much by now. I think him soon becoming Mr Mom has made them think differently.

[tom&tata 2]

BINGO!! I don't know why people have such a hard time understanding that concept. I'm sure my family secretly thinks my husband is a deadbeat or something, but they've never been in his shoes. Most all of them have had the same job for years or just retired from a job that they had for years. They don't seem to understand he left a job he loved only to come here and have trouble getting hired at McDonalds -- and how hard that is to accept (let alone disheartening). It frustrates me and feel like I constantly have to defend him - although luckily my family has stopped saying much by now. I think him soon becoming Mr Mom has made them think differently.

It's true. It's so hard trying to find a job out there now. Add no US experience into that & no US connection & you are really at disadvantage. It is not easy & hard on your morale if you are used to be contributing & now you cannot. One thing that helps with my adjustment when I moved 3.5 years ago was I got a job quickly after moving. Adjustment was not easy but it could have been worse.

You know it is bad when McD is not hiring.

[TracyTN 237]

It's true. It's so hard trying to find a job out there now. Add no US experience into that & no US connection & you are really at disadvantage. It is not easy & hard on your morale if you are used to be contributing & now you cannot. One thing that helps with my adjustment when I moved 3.5 years ago was I got a job quickly after moving. Adjustment was not easy but it could have been worse.

You know it is bad when McD is not hiring.

[trillium13 84]

OP here.

Thanks everyone for all the replies. I can't say I'm happy about anyone having to go through this, but it's nice to not feel alone. I know what you guys mean when you say you feel like people think your SO is a deadbeat, why doesn't he get a fast food job, blah blah. I don't have to tell you how frustrating that is. Like someone else mentioned, most of the people I know who have good jobs have had them forever and are lucky enough to work in an industry that hasn't been hit by the economy. It seems like so many places just want to hire high school kids and I really don't get it. Don't you want to hire someone who is conscientious and reliable? I guess not. I feel like we've pretty much got every strike against us. Hubby spent literally all of last weekend filling out applications. Not one response.

At least he has school to go to now and keep him busy, and I hope it's worth it for us in the end. He feels terrible about it all, like he's not doing enough. I tell him all the time that it's ok. Someday we'll get there.

Thank you all for understanding. No one outside of our situations can really understand.

[trillium13 84]

You're definitely not alone. I've been here 2 years now and still can't work in my field (I'm a vet and have to do a ton of exams to get a US license). I have tried to get other jobs but no luck, and I have to spend time studying/practising for the exams as well. Hubby has a job and we do internet-based work too, and I make and sell handbags online, but it's still very hard and my last exams are $5000! At least we do have something to look forward to though as once I get my license and can work as a vet again, things will be much better, so I know we are lucky really.

That really sucks. When do you finish up? I didn't realize it was so hard to come here and work as a veterinarian. I've been a vet tech for almost 15 years and pretty much everywhere I've worked has been looking for associate vets. I wish you luck!