Hitting and Swearing

[Chica Yeyé 41]

first of all, maybe she was angry and has a poor way of expressing in and this was family norms....second, of all..you hit her.,.GUILTY ...as her

almaty has spoken

[AngelSaint 0]

I should say avoid hitting her back or you will be liable to any violence when situation get worst. A real "filipina" doesn't do this kind of action. But because of different factors affecting individual growth, one could turn a real Filipina to a sadistic one. These factors are environmental and biological or hereditary. It could be the type of family upbringing, type of friends she has, or it could be psychological one; emotional type of person, secretive, violent, or whatever. If you love her, you should be patient with her attitude and try to win her heart so that she can open what she thinks and feels. Deal it with LOVE not with ANGER. For Love brings love and hatred brings hatred. Hope you can get it through...

[maliciant 7]

It doesn't sound like VAWA to me, it sounds like she had a traumatic childhood. Being so defensive of her family like that is a way to avoid having to deal with whatever that trauma is (as one of them is likely involved in some way). Definitely do not hit her back, nothing good will come from that, you'd only reinforce the behavior.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

She was chatting with her family and I was next to her. She then started started talking about lice for some reason to me, it must have been a topic with her family. She then grabbed my head saying this is what they do and hit the top of my head relly hard with her fingernails. Thats when I swore, what the F. She then hit me in the mouth. After ending the chat with her family she started saying things like F you! You want to F me? and hit me a few more times slapping my face etc. Through all this I did nothing to retaliate and told her to stop.

The rest of the night was fine. We looked at houses online to make a list of what to send to our agent. Later when we went to bed I lay down next to her cuddling up to her back and put my arm around her waist like I always do. She then turned around and hit me a few more times and swore some more and then slapped my face hard. and thats when I slapped her back and told her to stop.

She now says I'm a violent person and saying things like its over, we will live together but not be together and says that I hate her and dont love her. No matter what I do to try and convince her otherwise. She hit me 7+ times before I hit her back once.

She got a weird attitude -- your wife. I guess she is upset with something only God knows. She is the violent one and not you. Strange.

[rockhouse 1]

Sounds like she's got some deep-rooted issues bro. Not a nationality/cultural thing, but a mental one. Good luck.

BTW, if she goes off on you again, just beat her down with a pillow. My cousin does that to his crazy woman to keep her in line. He knocks her around the room until she calms down, and it doesnt leave bruises!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Sounds like she's got some deep-rooted issues bro. Not a nationality/cultural thing, but a mental one. Good luck.

BTW, if she goes off on you again, just beat her down with a pillow. My cousin does that to his crazy woman to keep her in line. He knocks her around the room until she calms down, and it doesnt leave bruises!

#######?

[MikenKyhen 0]

I doubt she even knows what VAWA is? Clearly there are some problems that can't be addressed here as there is most certainly more to this story in regards to her past. She needs counseling and has to be willing to accept help. The first step which is usually the most difficult is to get the person to admit that they need help. This is a huge task in itself. Hang in there Uthar. There is no easy solution but there is hope. Mike

Sounds like she's got some deep-rooted issues bro. Not a nationality/cultural thing, but a mental one. Good luck.

BTW, if she goes off on you again, just beat her down with a pillow. My cousin does that to his crazy woman to keep her in line. He knocks her around the room until she calms down, and it doesnt leave bruises!

#######?

Edited June 18, 2009 by MikenKyhen

[baron555 934]

You should never strike a woman.

we have had a few yelling fights

This is not a good sign. It is either marriage counseler time or divorce lawyer time. A couple that fights, either yelling or hitting, does not have a chance.

I am sorry for you.

[MikenKyhen 0]

You should never strike a woman.

we have had a few yelling fights

This is not a good sign. It is either marriage counseler time or divorce lawyer time. A couple that fights, either yelling or hitting, does not have a chance.

I am sorry for you.

I agree a hundred percent. Good advice. This won't be an easy fix even If she agrees to counseling but it is definately a step in the right direction.

[SMOKE 1,426]

if a couple argues its over? you haven't been in many relationships longer than a weekend have you? Edited June 18, 2009 by SMOKE

[sara..... 371]

if a couple argues its over? you haven't been in many relationships longer than a weekend have you?

hahaha i agree!!!!

sara

[bulaklak 0]

I hate hearing swearing. most american people are doing swearing as expression when they are frustrated or annoyed.

About the hitting thing. I do slapp my hubby's butt. its just a sign of affection. but he dislike it so, I stoped doing it.

and NO is not a cultural thing...its kinda individual behaviour.

Edited June 18, 2009 by lotus101

[mrsartis 10]

praning ampotah.. hehehehe sorrry..

[maritoni 3]

. I swore and said "ah, what the f..." and then she would not stop swearing or hitting me.

This is never a filipina trait but probably some,as i dont know your wife and i dont know you,to describe you a bit about Filipina.. Filipina women would never engage in a quarrel or a loud argument simply because this wouldn’t suit a real Lady . WE are taught to speak politely, with a gentle tone of voice....This soft spoken, quiet and understanding nature of the Filipina Ladies is the desired trait that Filipinas strive towards..Filipinas are understanding,patient and composed...i wonder where your wife from in the Philippines?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

In my experience, Filipinas have four ways of expressing offense at some thing you said, or did, that embarrassed her. The first is tampo. She shuts down, doesen't say anything more than she has to, and appears withdrawn. If that doesn't work, then she will strike you. Not hard enough to hurt, just something to get your attention, nothing a tough guy like you shouldn't be able to handle. Third is the tears. Not outright crying, she will problably hide her face, but the tears will be real enough. The fourth way of expressing offense you don't want to know, and things are pretty much over at that point.

What I am trying to say here, is either you are not paying attention to what your wife is trying to tell you, and you totally fvcked up, or you stepped into something you don't want to have anything to do with. Perhaps some counseling at this point would be advised. She is probably Catholic, so both of you go see your local parish priest, and see what happens. Other than that, the Filipinos respect age, so an elderly Filipino might be able to intervene, and give you both some advise.

By striking her back, you fvcked up dude! It will take a lifetime to get her trust back, if she don't leave you at the first opportunity. Filipinas don't get mad, they get even.