Pre nuptial

[DEDixon 39]

Only those that have nothing could be so careless. If someone has a million in assets and worked all life for it and not of the age to begin building a nest egg again, one will be more responsible. Given that the minute after marriage he/she is entitled to 500K without a prenupt... well, I suspect those that have money will feel a deep need to protect themselves.

[mailman2 0]

As was said, pre nups are becoming more common place these days and when

the divorce rate hovers around 50%, it certainly doesn't sound unreasonable

to have one.

Having been through one divorce and seeing how the thought of

eternal love went south, I would definitely want to protect my assets!

[ophelia783 0]

We almost had a pre-nup; we were in negotiations for weeks, and two days before the wedding, my lawyer told me to bluff, and tell Evan that I would not marry him unless he signed to the exact conditions we had asked for. At that point, I decided that nothing was worth that, and that starting my marriage off by lying would make that a lie as well. We decided to call it off, and in the event of a divorce, just work it out through mediation, and possibly court.

We're both young, and have been through a lot both together and separately. Both of our parents are divorced, so we know how hard it could be, and therefore thought a pre-nup would make it easier. If my lawyer didn't pull a cheap shot, it probably would, but things are the way they are.

[mailman2 0]

I wonder how Paul McCartney feels about pre-nups?

Although we are not in his league financially, only goes to show what can happen.

Good luck to those getting married for the first time and feeling a pre-nup is not

what they want and sure hope it works out for you.

[britbird 4]

Everyone should have a pre-nup - a fond fiscal farewell is the way to do divorce - it will cost less money and cause less stress and acrimony.

Typically most young people don't do 'em. Which is all well and good, and sure we all expect to be with the person we marry for the rest of our lives, but realistically there is a large chance that you won't.

Another good reason to have a pre nup is that it forces (in order to be valid in most places) full disclosure of all assets. It also forces you to think very carefully about the legal commitment you are making to another human being.

And pre nups can do all sorts of things - not just the 'you sign away any claim to property or support' pre nups that are typically covered in the media.

[desert_fox 32]

I agree prenuptial agreements may mean the other person is not willing to divide all their inheritance or properties they own with you, If things end up disolving in a divorce eventually. I think he or she is planning for the worst and protecting their wealth by having the other person sign a prenutial.

...and exactly why shoud he??? Is was his separate property befor you got married, as he just wants to document his own sperate property. You should do the same. If you aint bringing anything to the table, then you dont need one. But if you are older and have accumulated your own separate assets priot to marriage, then these should remain yours if things head south in the future.

It is commoin knowlege that 50% of marriages end in divorce, no matter how much you are in love today. The rate is even higher among second marriages. A prenupt would save you both a bunch of money someday in lawyers and court costs and would be best for the sakie of family that you might have.

[trinket 30]

I see it this way, for me personally there was no reason to have a prenup, both me and my husband have just started our life, both are in our mid 20s, we are young still and whatever we make in life we will do it together as long as we grow old, so god forbid but if there is a time comes for seperation, I see it being 50/50 because we both built it together.

But there are couples where there is a significant amount of age difference and also financial difference. At least with the photographs of the OP, it does look like there is an age difference, so naturally the man in this question might have his other obligations to take care of, he might have other kids from previous relationship and this new relationship has just started.

You have to see things from both side, what if there is no divorce but the person who is more financially stronger in this situation dies first? Shouldn't his kids get a certain percentage of his wealth rather than the new wife in question getting it all.

I hope I am not coming as a hars b1tch but this is how I see it.

Edited August 15, 2008 by silent

[Team J and B 2]

We have a prenup.

I think it's a positive thing for us, but I can't say for everyone else. We're not naive, we've both been in and out of love a few times, had long term relationships, and dated our fair share of a variety of men and women.

The prenup was my father-in-law's idea. It is to protect HIS assets. He made his money years ago and wants to protect his own two children and I was fully aware and understood that. My parents also told me if they had some heavy coins, they would require my husband to sign a prenup to protect my inheritance, too.

My husband hired a very good lawyer to draw up the prenup and I hired another very good one in a different city to go over it with fine tooth comb. If and when we divorce, I only want what is rightfully mine, not what my husband acquired before our marriage. Our lawyers are drawing up our wills, too.

Being offended by asking to sign a prenup is being a good, caring, responsible person and spouse. Being offended by a prenup is naive and living in lala land. You shouldn't be signing a prenup without your own lawyer anyway.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

We don't have a pre-nup. My husband brought the majority of assets into our marriage, and in recognition of that, I asked him if he wished for us to draw up a pre-nup. He said no. He had a messy divorce from his last wife but in spite of it all, he behaved with integrity and honour towards her - even though she didn't return the favour. I felt comfortable that if, God forbid, anything happened to us and our marriage didn't work out that he would deal with me with the same degree of integrity and honour. After more than 4 years of marriage I have seen nothing that would cause me to change my opinion. My own sense of fair play and honour would also require the same from me. Fortunately, there are no signs that either of us have anything to worry about in our marriage.

[HighwayStar 0]

We don't have a pre-nup. My husband brought the majority of assets into our marriage, and in recognition of that, I asked him if he wished for us to draw up a pre-nup. He said no. He had a messy divorce from his last wife but in spite of it all, he behaved with integrity and honour towards her - even though she didn't return the favour. I felt comfortable that if, God forbid, anything happened to us and our marriage didn't work out that he would deal with me with the same degree of integrity and honour. After more than 4 years of marriage I have seen nothing that would cause me to change my opinion. My own sense of fair play and honour would also require the same from me. Fortunately, there are no signs that either of us have anything to worry about in our marriage.

I endorse all this wholeheartedly. Our case is somewhat odd, since I (the non-USC) am by far better off than my fiancé is, and I am also a few years older than him. He is also the one who is divorced and has three kids (to whom he pays child support), while I have never been married and have no kids. Like Kathryn said about her own husband, he is a man of honour and integrity, and one who is not interested in wordly goods at all. I wouldn't be marrying him and moving halfway across the world at the ripe (not old) age of 47 if I didn't trust him.

[Gemmie 142]

No pre-nuptial.

If things were to go wrong, I know that we would be able to sort things out as adults, probably even friends.

[filirican 3]

hmmmm there is something fishy.....one thinks the relationship is not gonna work....

[trinket 30]

hmmmm there is something fishy.....one thinks the relationship is not gonna work....

I don't think its fishy, its protection. There are parents who make a Will, they protect their asset, they do realise what they should give to each of their family members, say a wealthy mother has got 3 children, 2 of them are well off where as the other one has loads of debts to clear up, so if she is giving a well deserved percentage to the 3rd one, it doesn't mean she doesn't love her 2 other kids.

As I have stated before, it really depends upon each relationship. For us personally there was no need of a prenup because we both didn't bring any wealth while getting married and whatever we will make in the future, it will be a collateral effort.

[SterlingGirl 1]

No problem. I love her, not her money.

Bingo.

It's not always "polite" to plan for your future, but it's often necessary. It's not that they believe this person is ONLY out for their money at the time they sign, but things CAN change in ways that you don't always forsee. I'm divorced myself, but at the time I got married, I had the same thought as everyone else - "this is forever, we'll always be able to work things out, etc". It didn't work out that way.

I think it's just a way of establishing that you're more than happy to contribute to your spouse's financial wellbeing while the two of you are together. If that person decides to leave, then it's her call, but don't expect to be supported after it's over. For someone with a significant amount of wealth, this is important.

I'd say, unless you have more of a relationship with your fiance's money than your fiance, I wouldn't worry about it.

[Nikita2Charles 32]

PRE NUP i would say is necessary for Older folks who already had family, and starting a new life again by falling in love. There's no guarantee as far as the age difference when it comes to Marriage, relationship.

My dad married this lady just a few a couple of years younger than him, we were a little bit apprehensive but we were happy that he wasn't alone, he found another partner, someone whose going to be there for him. WELL

Needless to say 5 years later, the lady took all his money, bought properties out of the country with both of their names, build a house on the property my dad already had prior marriage and have her family back home living there so basically putting her claim on that property also, since not of us live there so she just grab it, it's not like here in the US where the law is pretty clear. Needless to say the property and the house is all hers now.

My dad didn't learn his lesson, he went ahead and got married again, this time to someone much younger, way younger in her late 30's maybe early 40's so both are grown up.

Now he's back to the same thing again of spending like crazy with his new young wife, this time he didn't even inform nobody since he knew how we would feel about it, Got married overseas and doing the visajourney thing now, can you imagine he doesn't even have a decent TV, but he sent a 42" FLAT PANEL LCD to his new wife a few months ago,

With all these action without any thought for his past family obligations it got to the point we had to have a family meeting, and told him straight up, we don't need anything from you as we are all independent and can take care of ourself, but make sure when you closed your eyes the last time YOU HAVE ENOUGH LEFT FOR YOUR FUNERAL. otherwise we'll just DONATE YOU to the local hospital, that's how upset it can be.

We all wish him well, it's his life, he can do whatever he wants but we all feell now that it's the time to retire, do some traveling, see the world, but he's working hard as ever to support his young wife there.