Monnie

I got married to the most wonderful man and we're very happy together. We're going through the removal of conditions and my MIL offered (she wasn't asked) to write an affidavit.

Although she was told what to do (keep it simple), she wrote two versions of the letter - one of which could be considered a novel or short story. DH kept on asking me if I wanted to read said letters and I refused since it annoys me the way she "claimed" our story for herself and isn't shy about telling everyone she meets about us.

The day before he mailed the paperwork, he handed them to me to "check them out". The envelope contained the short version of her letter and it was riddled with red flags. It starts out by stating we met over the internet and had an "unconventional courtship". Even though she wrote a lot praising our intelligence and whatnot, she didn't write much about the marriage itself and when she did it was through a few dubious phrases where she hints that she's not sure about the validity of our marriage.

Needless to say, that letter never made it back into the envelope.

I've been having problems with her for a while now. She's cruel and sarcastic and likes to humiliate her own kids. I, on the other hand, decided a long time ago I'd never let people step on me.

I don't know what to do about this, nor I think there is much I can do. A few months ago there was a huge kerfuffle because of her and I have the impression that she was emailing DH and pressing him to choose between me and her.

It seems (again, I have no proof) he's beginning to realize she's trying to screw it up for him. The letters are gone. I tried to find one of them to quote from and can't find it anywhere. DH doesn't throw anything out - EVER; yet I can't find the letter.

My fear is that she'll try to contact USCIS and say that ours is a fake marriage...

Its your choice whose affidavit you send. Although she offered to write, ultimately you are the one who will send the letter and you don't have to choose hers. Take good references for affidavit from people you trust. MILs are not to be trusted anyway. IMHO they belong to one vicious clan.

JUST FORWARDING A MESSAGE I READ, I REALLY WANT TO HELP HER BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW.

Hi!

I am just new in this forum/site. I would like to ask for an advice on what to do. I apologize if my post is really long, I just want to you to know every details. And I'm sorry if I'm venting with you guys, I just want to be cleared on things before I go to look for a lawyer.

I am a native of the Philippines, I met my husband (27yrs old -Hubby, 29 years old-Me) last February 2008 online while he was deployed in Afghanistan and after a month of chatting, calling, texting each other we decide to become a couple, we had a happy relationship, thou we can't prevent misunderstandi ng.

By July we decided we want to be together, and he wanted to get married on September 2008, it was our first time to meet in person too.(which i know the stupidiest thing I did for LOVE) And September arrived, He arrived and we got married in the Philippines.

December came and he went back to the states and was based on Fort Campbell,KY.

February 2009, we applied for CR1 Visa (Conditional Visa) and after my visa application was approved 1st week of August, I got a YM Message from him that he got another Filipina woman pregnant in the Unites States, and its already on her 2nd month. That very same they a girl who i dont know added me on MySpace, and I told him about it, and told me that it was the woman (mistress) The Filipina is from Nashville, 31 years old and with one son,and knows that my husband is married. My WORLD is so crashed, couldn't work, eat...alll those stuff. And because I love him so much I forgive him and told him that I will accept the babies (Yes, its TWINS!) and I agree of him visiting them weekly or staying with the his babies and his mistress overnight every week, but his mistress don't want that, she wanted him to divorce me and be wiht them permanently, and after 2 days he changed his mind and that he wanted a divorce,which I can't understand why?!! It seems that I'm the mistress here and im the one begging him for time and not leave me...and then changed his mind again that he doesn't want to lose me...and then change again ....he's been changing minds for a week or 2. The last option he wants is "IF there will be NO Babies (miscarriage) He will still stay with me, but if there will be babies, he would divorce me" what's up with that huh?!am I a spare tire for him to this to me?

And now he's been accusing me of cheating on him, coz a man from the Philippines called him and told him that he's in love with his wife (which is obviously me) he gave me the number and I was calling it, but it was not working. He doesn't have any proof of me cheating on him,he even emailed my mom that we both sinned against each other, and the reason he cheated on me its because I always assume that he was cheating on me, that's why he did it. (what a valid reason!!!)

And as for the Visa Process, I paid half of the Visa, since he always tells me that he is always broke, and couldn't find money to pay the remaining fees. I paid for my medical, and my plane ticket. And he don'thave any idea that I pursue the Visa by myself.

And now, I am already in the United States. And he keeps telling me that I only use him to become a US Citizen and that I just want his money and all those stuff! Oh come on! I would'nt be spending like $1,500 if I just want his money and the Citizenship. I went here to play a FAIR GAME, because I know he won't go visit me to the Philippines and talk,so I decided to come here and know my rights.

I already emailed his commanding officer right after he told me that he got a woman pregnant. He was so pissed of and calling me names. I got a reply from the CO that she will talk wiht my husband and just update me. its been 2months and no updated, so I called the legal office on what can I do? my rights, my benefits and everything as a wife of an army.

FYI, before we got married, we decided that I will stop working and he will just give me a monthly allowance of $200. The allowance stop by February 2009, and becausehe gets mad whenever I ask for money, I decided to find a job to support myself. All this time I don't know anything about Military Benefits. It was just my Army Wife friends who are just telling me about all those things. I don't know about his BAH, coz he never told me that. He just told me that he is just recieving $500 a month, but when i saw his paystub, its $822, and on his BAQ its stated there WITH DEPENDENT, and the Dependent is his SPOUSE.

Now here are my concerns:

1. I called legal office and gave me a number of a Commanding Officer, and I ask him if I can get a Military ID? He told me I am not recognize as a military wife over here coz we were married in the Philippines so I can't have a military ID even I come there with my husband. I should be married here and have a US Marriage certificate to be able to be recognized or buy a house or car, open an account together. Is it really true? So, its useless to be married in a foreign country and not be recognize here? But we applied for a Spouse Visa and obviously I am recognize as a wife of a US Citizen. I don't get it!Why are some of my friends recognize without them being married again here in the US. So, does that mean that I don'tget any benefits or rights as a Army Wife?

2. Is he getting extra allowance since he was married, coz it was declared in his paystub that he has a dependent and its his Spouse?

3. He will be deployed on December in Afghanistan, and one of my Army Wife friends told me that I will be recieving Separation Pay from being deployed.

3. And since I'm already here, and wasted much time and effort on this crappy marriage which I thought is my HAPPY EVER AFTER, and I'm not really ready to go home in the Philippines after all these mess, I would like to start my new life here. How can I Lift my conditions, coz i will just be here for 2 years, and I should lift my conditions with my husband. I heard of WAIVERS, btu I don't know how that thing goes.

I know he wanted divorce quick, coz he knows that having a babies and Hospital Bills are far expensiveif you don't have any medical benefits, and since he was not married to his mistress, his mistress and his babies can't get any insurance.

4. Can I lift my conditions alone? I never lived with him since I was here in the US. I don't have any proofs that we have joint accounts? So i don't know if the waiver will be approved?

Again, I am sorry for a long message. And Thank you in advance. I know this will be a Yuckie Process, but I am not the type who will revenge, like taking allhis money and stuff, or even go to his mistress and slap her BIG TIME!

I'm lifting all up to GOD, I just know what's my right. I don't want him to get out of this situation that easy. I don'twant him to think that he can just find a girl, marry her, adn if he's no longer having fun with the relationship, he can just fool around with some girl he wants and just divorce me that easy.

I know there will be violent reaction on this, or with me...But I just want to be clear.

Again, Thank you so much...God Bless you all.

I am very sorry to hear your story. There are various agencies which will support you in finding the right direction and course of action. I have lived in hell marrying such a jerk and all I say to you is get out of it fast and show him that you are an independent woman and not at his mercy. My prayers are with you.

Hello All,

This is a very sad expereince. I came here on a K3 visa in Oct 2008 and applied AOS and EAD in November. I got my EAD on April this year but while the AOS was still pending, me and my husband had some issues because of his parents. As a result of this I went to my sisters place in New York for a few days to get relaxed from that situation. He also dropped me to Airport and told me to come back asap. But once I reached there he stopped communicating with me and finally at last I decided to come back myself on June 15th. But when I tried to call him from the airport, he did not pick the phone or came to receive me. I then took a cab and came back myself where he lives. But the house was locked and there was no one. Then finally his father came and told me that I cannot enter the house and told me to go back. I requested him that let me speak to my husband but he did not let me do that. Then finally I went to police for help. The police took me the shelter where I stayed for almost one and a half month. Then we decided to make over the things back and he requested to come back and I did come back on 24th July.

Then after a week I checked my mail and got to know that my AOS has been denied. Then I called him in his office and asked him what is that? Then after asking so many times he accepted that he has send a letter to USCIS that he wanted to withdraw his support and he is ending this relationship. He also told me that I had the AOS interview on June 11 which he never told me as I was in my sister's house at that time. I got so much shocked as a results of knowing all these fact, which he did not told me before. Now we want to know that in the present situation what are our options. My concerns are:

1. Can we reschdule interview of our denied AOS. If yes then what are the chances of its approval?

2. As my AOS is denied would I be deported back to India and if yes then until when and what are my options to avaoid that?

3.If we had to reapply our AOS again then is it possible in this current situation? Can the same person can file for my AOS again?

4.If yes then what are the chances of its approval and what would be the imapcts of our previous denied AOS and the previous happening. Also since our marriage is almost two years and eight months, what type of green card would I receive? Is is two years or ten years? Also would all this developments would result in two years green card instead of ten?

5.Since I have my EAD would it be valid at present? Can I work on that?

If you know any other things about this situation then please help us.

We both love each other very much. Its all because of living with his parents. Please help us in getting us back together and making the things in place again.

Thanks in advance for all you help and support.

Pooja

I don't understand why would you want to stay with such person? Is GC that important to you? My advise to you girl, better get on with your life. Are you sure things will be back to normal after all this? I went through something similar and it was a hard decision to leave him, but it was the best decision in my life. It is best to get out of such relationships. At least you will have your peace of mind. I went through hell with person like your husband and I can only sympathize with you. My life is much better after I left him.