Thanks for the replies.
Yeah, I fully expected and understand thoughts that the quick marriage is nonsensical, but I believe that every relationship has their own (unique) dynamics at play. We feel that there can be cases of "if you know, then you know" if something is right and you trust that person to be there for you despite normal struggles. We talked about everything the first year -- including crucial feelings on children, goals, hobbies etc -- already experienced instances of misunderstandings and hurt feelings (this is standard in just about any relationship) yet remain strong and committed as ever and there are zero regrets even if some will think it's crazy but the truth is that nobody judging can really know all the details of the situation. And frankly I do think that simple love exists, so putting up various goalposts for a somewhat "cookie cutter" relationship is not always appropriate.
I (the American) have struggled with panic attacks in large crowded areas (like airports and planes) -- setting aside the fact that sitting at JFK airport for 8 hour layover, and a 16 hour plane ride (not mentioning that initial jet to get to JFK) is not exactly easy or pleasant. Yet It's doable and worth it and that's why I mentioned a second trip is possible and may be needed. Obviously the whole process is a challenge, but we all have different feelings on what is more or less challenging.
Yes we really wanted to spend time together, but the thought was that the waiting and being apart is acceptable in the short term (what's 1-2 years compared to decades together?).
The initial reasoning for no second visit was because after checking USCIS a month after filing, the estimate showed a surprising 6 month, then slowly ticked down to 1 month as time went on, ending up no estimate/unexpected delay in September. So the thought was hey, why visit again when this may work out far quicker than expected? Then October rolled around and it reset to 3 months, then in December 12 months, to big surprise.
I'll admit the estimate shouldn't have been taken too seriously but I'm of the opinion that there shouldn't be that estimate there if it's so inconsistent. I'll also admit we were unaware that there was a significant backlog in interview scheduling (initially thought it'd maybe be a month, not 6-8+ month).
Right now? In theory it could still be accepted anytime, next month or in 3 months, with the interview then happening late this year. But yes now things look clear it could easily take longer than expected and going into a 2026 interview with the possible "Why didn't your husband visit you again in the past two years?" becomes challenging even with an honest response and other proof checks out. It'd depends how strict the interviewer is, as I've seen cases where it can be easy with essentially no grilling.
That said, if someone really knew all the details and proof so far, I think it'd be far-fetched to call it contractual. I mean, who is messaging and doing hours video calls every day if the relationship isn't genuine? That's a lot of wasted time, and for what? Not to mention the family members of both sides being involved (including in-person that single visit).
But I'll admit my logic wasn't entirely sound and I appreciate now that I am thinking of this before it's too late. And part of these long distance relationships always involve plenty of doubt from watchers.
I'll be booking a two month visit for March.
