Thanks everyone for your insight.
I am now mentally prepared for a Stokes interview, we'll pass - we really do live together as husband and wife, there isn't much they could ask that we couldn't answer properly. He has addressed the wrong address on his driver's license already, it got changed a few months ago. The house in De Witt County where he used to live has been vacant for a while now, he was slowly moving his stuff out of it and back to our shared home and he made the last trip a few weeks ago. It's a >3-hour drive from our house, so he does it on days off in between his shifts at work. He has been working with the lady that owns the huge ranch that his property was cut out of, trying to get it rented. There just isn't a lot of demand in that area, so it's a slow thing. He hasn't lived there since the end of January of last year, though he paid the taxes on it last month. We spent weekends there together in the past, not recently though since it has been basically stripped out of all of his belongings and furniture and stuff.
I know we got married really quick, and we've been slowly adapting our financial lives to include each other - I was 48 and he was 52 on our wedding day, we already had everything set up so now we've been making changes here and there to add each other into stuff. I haven't refinanced my house and really don't want to just to add him to the deed, it's not a sound financial move at this point when (1) no way on earth I'd get the same sort of interest rate (I originally bought during COVID, my rate is 2.875%), and (2) while he has good credit and our combined income and DTI would allow us to pass underwriting with no issues, I dread doing that whole process again. I would, if I thought we were on the brink of disaster with immigration - but even if we started tomorrow, it might not be complete in time for a second interview anyway. I've put him on the tax account with the county, so it will show he has interest in the property (this is a community property state, and adding him to the tax account on my house means he has to sign off on his interest if I ever sell it or we divorce). He is putting together $20,000 to put on the mortgage as a lump sump principal payment at the end of December, he put the funds in a short-term CD back in September which matures in December. He's already on all of the utilities, and I'm on his cell phone plan. Most of the household bills are being paid out of my checking account, they're all set on autopay, but his paychecks aren't deposited there just mine. We do have one checking account which is joint, where we put savings funds for household repairs, car repairs, etc. It isn't highly active, mostly deposits, but it has both of our names on it. We also share a credit card account that we use to buy gas, groceries, prescriptions, etc. and pay off each month. We mostly use cash on a day to day basis, I have a ton of old debt I'm paying off and I dislike incurring new debt - I'm paying off my 2019 car, he owns his outright (bought it with cash). Bills are for utilities, Netflix, internet. We handle our own car insurance and the homeowner's policy is in escrow with the mortgage company. I'm having mutual wills done by my boss (an attorney) but they haven't been finished/signed yet. I'm not sure what else there is to do now... just prepare for the interview, I suppose. We're due to be in Singapore at his brother's from December 28-January 19, so I hope they don't schedule it right in the middle of that.