@megaladon and @Andrew+MM, unfortunately my packet was denied and no explanation was given, only that our situation "does not meet exceptional circumstances."
It turns out they had replied via email, exactly 1 month after my initial email, but it was sent to my spam folder. Sounds cliche, but anyone reading this in a similar situation - maybe check there?
The consulate referenced this email in their written reply, which included the entire packet, check (not easy to acquire in Germany!), and supporting documentation we had sent two weeks prior. Again, the letter did not give me any reason why, just that our situation did not qualify and referred us to the email sent, which also did not provide a reason why.
This outcome genuinely surprised, to say nothing of frustrated, me as I've seen countless anecdotal evidence that similar situations did warrant DCF in Germany as recently as last year, and DCF seems to more lenient in many other countries than Germany.
Outside of pleading with the Consulate or contacting my Congressional representatives, I don't know what else I can do. I have to attend school on August 12th and fly back before that.