So, I am a 36 year old US citizen from Vermont and I met the sweetest, kindest Indonesian girl on OkCupid about four or five months ago. We talked for months, had an amazing connection, and I finally bit the bullet and took a trip over there to see if she was real and also to meet her in person. We hit it off instantly and fell in love very quickly. She is Muslim (28 y.o), and Indonesian Muslims take the culture and the religion very seriously. They also strongly encourage Indonesian girls who are Muslims to tie the knot and get married before the parents let them leave to the foreign country (United States in this case) and start their new life with their new spouse. And her parents are no exception; they are very traditional. I have been looking into getting the K-1 visa process started ASAP as I know there is a long Wait once the I-129 F is filed. In fact, we have already started the I-129F. The K-1 seems to be a much more simple and far quicker way to go vs. the CR-1. But, there’s a problem; her parents won’t let her leave to the USA (once the K-1 visa is approved) until a traditional muslim wedding ceremony is held with her and her entire family in Indonesia, so we can get the Buku Nikah (which is the official marriage certificate for Indonesian Muslims). This is a problem, it seems, because, from all the research I’ve done and everything I've read, you cannot apply for the K-1 if you’re already married, even if you don’t register your marriage with the Civil Offices in Indonesia (which you don’t have to do for Muslim weddings). We would not register with the civil offices, so I thought I would still be able to do the K-1 but I am now thinking that is not true…. You might ask me; why not just do the CR-1 visa after having the wedding ceremony in Indonesia? And the answer is; for several reasons. First, I can’t apply for that visa until we are married, which is not going to be quite yet, at least not in the next several months, so that’s gonna add a lot of time to the already long visa approval process. Second, I want to spend some more time with her before getting married! But, perhaps the most important issue that I have with marrying there first and then doing the CR-1 is the fact that I will have to marry her, and then leave and head back to the United States, alone, without my wife. That just does not feel right to me and I don’t think I can do it. Can someone else provide insight on this? Any help or guidance would be much appreciated. I’m so sad about this.
