Thank you for the explanation! I believe I understand.
Her US gov funded j1 waiver was 5 weeks total and I believe the cost was around $5000 they provided - Not a multi month program.
I guess my confusion comes from the HRR part, although she was here later on a visa, and we got married here in the US prior to her visa expiring and has lived here since, is the confusing part. I get the home country rule, that at the same time her country sent the no objection statement, with no objection.
So at this point, until we receive the letter to see why exactly it was not favorable, is it safe to somewhat assume that it is because the US government program funded her original visa? Afterwards, she only traveled with an ESTA.
I also know I'm reading too much into this, I just never imagined they may possibly want her to go back for 2 years, after being married here for 2 years with a life, home and kids to come.