Just being vague for anonymity. I can't visit her without significant impact to my work. Whenever I visit her, I can't work. I'm not around to manage teams, resolve issues before they happen and it risks projects and business. I was able to visit often last year, before we got engaged, but it was during a lull in my responsibilities.
Managers & colleagues at my job were pretty shocked the letter, which took a few months of bureaucracy on its own, didn't even get considered in the adjudication. Everyone is supportive but I'm still in a spot where I have to choose between career and family.