This post is going to be embarrassing, but I figured I'd answer everyone's questions honestly here.
We do not need to live in the US.
We tried to live in a different overseas country (not where she is from), but there was a huge lack of stability there.
She has a very weak passport, and I have a strong one (USA). I started having doubts in the third country about the long term sustainability and practicality of settling there.
Job opportunities are harder to come by there versus the US, child care is extremely expensive, visas/residency are straight forward but that could change at any point, and the weather was awful, in addition to no community, homesickness, etc.
What if she got sick and needed medical care in the West?
What if we wanted our future children to study in a Western country (how will she get a visa?)
What if I needed to go back to America for some time to take care of something? (She comes from a culture where separation from one's husband frequently or extended periods of time is seen as shameful)
The other option would have been to move back to her home country where her family lives but that is even more challenging (high crime, poverty, even less opportunities, etc)
I thought the most sustainable decision was to move her to the US, and get her citizenship, which would keep us together in the future no matter where we ended up.
I did tell her before marriage that I move around for work to different countries, and she accepted this, but I did not mention of moving to the US (At the time, I had planned to leave the US indefinitely but discovered in the third country we moved to things that I did not expect)
As much as a monster as I sound right now, I now just want to provide my wife stability.
These last couple of months I've made mistakes and I want to make up for it by just sealing the deal and providing my spouse the stability she wants.
On the concern around the I-864, my wife is a great person, but she comes from a country where people/families are very conniving and money hungry due to poverty and a third-world government. This leads to many of the general people doing anything for money (murdering their siblings, stealing inheritance/land, etc).
I am not worried about my wife, I am worried about her family/siblings and immediate neighbors if things go wrong in the marriage.
Her brothers would almost certainly encourage her to sue me for money if the law allows for that (I-864).
I am not sure what to do at this point.
In Australia, you are only legally obligated to take care of a spouse for 2 years. In Canada, 3 years. In the UK, or France, this doesn't even exist.
In the US, if the spouse doesn't get their citizenship, it is indefinite. This is my concern.
She does come from a country that allows dual citizenship, so it would be unlikely for her to come here and not get citizenship, but I don't know.
