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qwertyqwertyqwert

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    Arizona

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    Other
  • Country
    Burkina Faso

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  1. So, today he says his health issue with itchy moles is flaring up again, that he's been on pain management (thc and nicotine) for a long time barely coping, and that I'm so blatantly oblivious to all that and care about my emotions only. When we don't fight, he doesn't look to be in pain, or speak about it, and the last time he brought it up I got really scared and said nothing will happen until we go check this, no matter how much it costs out of pocket. And he then said it's ok for now and let's focus on the docs and other more urgent things. My mistake was to let this go like this. We talked today, and I heard that I initially presented myself as an expert on local customs, basically lured him in here saying that I'll help, while I needed help myself. The last straw was my "no" to "will you talk respectfully", and then also the way I ignore him being in strong physical pain these following days. I know, it's hard to believe we've known each other for years with this level of miscommunication, but we didn't get there in a day. Finally, he stated I'm not really interested in anything except my ego. So, I don't know what happens next. He has little savings left, and when I give him cash or cards he just refuses it. We went groceries shopping today, agreeing on the store, and midway through he said "oh it's the store where my card doesn't work", so he dropped the cart, said he's good, and when I offered to go to another store he said the card won't work there either, let's go home. His card does work in other stores, and he has cash, and we are married and we took turns paying, when he asked to do so, even though my card's clearly a safer choice because it's local... yeah. Now he went to sleep on the floor by the bed, fully clothed just laid down and that's that. As for SSN, he insists that it would have been valid until visa expired only, and thus mostly useless to obtain before getting i-485 approved. However it would still let us get started on things like joint account, state ID, DL, if I am not mistaken? Thank you everyone for your input, you guys helped me to get through this day.
  2. I have and I do, to the best of my ability to understand what I am signing. That is why I am lost, we can't seem to communicate for me to be able do my part successfully. While we were filing the AOS papers he first said I filed the form all wrong, and it took me a while to finally get that it's not the info that is wrong, but the formatting he doesn't agree with. So I did read all of the instructions multiple times, we read it together as well.
  3. Come to think of it, the reason we can't work from home in a studio was that we both ideally are on phone calls throughout the day. And if we both work jobs like that, we surely are able to afford more than a studio, so yeah, pretty silly. He always says he's here only because of me, because I was dead set on having the wedding here. I had this dream for us to visit the nearby national parks for a week of roadtrip, which I have done numerous times, so I was ready to go whenever the weather allows. He didn't feel comfortable going without equipping my car with all sorts of roadtrip emergency gadgets. I also suspect he hates my driving:) although I have a spotless record. Agree on the drivers license bit for sure.
  4. Yeah, I guess I want him to change his attitude somehow:) We were really looking forward for him to get EAD, as he'd get hired much easier than me with the background he's got, and his starter salary will be at least twice what is my average -- he's CTO level and I'm a junior project manager. However, we would still require two incomes for it to make sense in the current climate, so I was also working on studying for a job transition, QA online courses. This is another point of conflict, because I honestly don't put in as much effort in it as I should be putting. It's not something I am generally excited about, so I spend a ton of energy in that general direction, feeling guilty when not studying and feeling hopeless when I do, and so on. Someone asked about i-864, I sponsor it, with the job I have working for my family as a project assistant. It is just a means to an end, as I wasn't able to land a job in my field in time with the deadlines. We agreed that he'll get a job as soon as he'll get that authorization, that I will work on my studies, and he even stated multiple times that he's ok with being a sole provider (which is something I wouldn't do, as I do want to work, for social and financial reasons.) Now, I have a lot of free time on my hands which I should be spending either working or studying, which I don't. He sacrifices sleep preparing for the tech interview questions. Obviously another resentment builder, even though I do my best putting all effort that way when we are not fighting.
  5. We did that, right before marriage. He said he'll leave if I don't get my together (get a better paying job, study more, smile more), and I cried and I begged and I promised I'll do better. And I do try to do my best with whatever resources I got, it's just not much. I also wasn't living in the States for the most part, I kept domicile and a remote job, but I was mostly living abroad, so I don't know much on how lots of stuff works here myself, unfortunately. He's fluent in English, so I guess I quietly expected him to help me with figuring out the things he quietly expected me to already know.
  6. He said he doesn't want either a studio, or a shared kitchen, because immigrating here is not worth it if we have to share a kitchen with anyone, and in a studio we won't be able to work from home. Now, we are renting guest bedroom+living room with its own bathroom, it's a good deal, apart from shared kitchen and my family for roommates. Way more space than a studio, can have work calls in the other room, but still a shared kitchen. Before he arrived we talked about staying at theirs for a while, and then getting our own place, the "while" wasn't defined though.
  7. Thank you for your perspective. We've known each other for a decade, so it wasn't a rash decision. I guess I should have better prepared for all this, and should have been way more assertive. I was planning on us going to the SSN office within the first week of his arrival, but then didn't push when he said we'll do it another way. Without it, I wasn't able to add his name to my banking, and so it was known to him as well. I suggested canceling this process with me becoming such a so-so sponsor financially and clearly not having done a good enough job organizationally, and moving somewhere more affordable for both of us at the moment, this was not accepted. We do not fight all the time, and at quiet times it never came up as something that we should be urgently changing, just sitting tight waiting for the docs to come.
  8. Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I wouldn't say he knows nothing about my area and has no idea what could be entertaining for both of us, so he can't suggesting an outing. We've traveled together and both know how to research and arrange activities in new locations, so it's a question of effort, on both sides true. As for bringing a K-1 to live with the parents, when we filed, we had solid savings and secure jobs, so it wasn't like that from the beginning. We do have the means to support ourselves, but I would not be able to rent an apartment that lives up to his standards here on only my income. We did agree beforehand that we are renting from them until we can afford to move out. And although I do realize how he feels, as I was a K-2 myself and sort of get the ways this might suck, I then have even less understanding on how he can insult me to my face and then pretend like nothing happened and blame me for not smiling when I politely but deservedly coldly offer to take a drive to stock up on food.
  9. Hello all, not sure if it's the right place to post, but please redirect me, if anything. I have no one to talk with about this, considering the immigration-related context meaning and the weight of these matters, and I really need some perspective here. Sorry for maybe unnecessary details, but it's all been taking a serious toll on my mental health, so please trust me I did my best to stay coherent. My fiance arrived on K1 back in May, we married in July and filed for AOS a little after his 90 days visa expired. We are both in our early 30s and while he has an IT career mine is less than stellar and I was leaning to transitioning to his field as it has more money making hard skills. So we are tight on money at the moment, as we had to live off savings while waiting for the docs, and I cannot afford to rent an apartment solo here, so for now we rent the guest suite in my parents' house. Since he arrived, he's been very vocal about my shortcomings on this journey, like that I should've gotten a better job, done better networking prior to arrival, and so on. He has no one here except for me, he does not drive and hasn't yet expressed desire to start learning, and the closest groceries shop is over an hour walking distance away. So every time we fight, I am the one who can get the fridge stocked and who can get him to his nicotine needs. There have been multiple instances where I would rather cool off for who knows how long, or have him approach me and attempt to apologize first, but I have to be non-hostile and monitor how much food we have left and whether he would like to stop by the tobacco shop on the way back. We don't go out ever, as I would be the one to both suggest, plan, and drive. I don't go out on my own, as I feel it's unfair he's physically stuck at home and it's provokingly rude to not invite him along. Over time, with nothing substantially changing documents wise and only seasons going and savings dwindling, our relationship became more and more strained. He's not comfortable with my parents always present in the house, to the point of avoiding going to the kitchen if possible, so I am the one doing the bulk of cooking as well (They are very nice to him and accepted him as family, more like you can't escape the small talk for a while if they catch up with you). Lately it's been getting to the point where he asks me to take pictures of the food we bought, because he does not want to eat their food, even though they eat the stuff I buy, mom likes to cook for everyone on occasion, no one has any problem with this except for him. So I cook, and then text him a pic of what is it and which shelf. So, these past days he's been torturing me with night monologues, every night around 2-3 am he starts talking out loud in the bedroom, just criticizing me to the open window, for the parents to possibly hear it from upstairs bedroom, complaining he's wasted money, years, and that he's been starving for days and I abuse him with controlling food access, and so on. It seems it's either all done and he goes straight to the airport, or I need to keep eating up that attitude. I can't leave him with my parents and go rent another room, I can't kick him out to a rental, he has no car, and I can't keep doing this. Today's morning treatment is he's now demonstratively distancing himself with closed off doors. Can't believe it got here with my just not letting that one insult go. It's totally surreal at this point, where neither of us is able to even basic function. We can't divorce until it's been 6 months, he can't do anything without my input, I can't pretend I'm even remotely ok with what he's dishing out. I don't even truly want a divorce yet, I willingly married the dude less than two months ago, I'm just so hurt and exhausted. What would you suggest I do? I feel like I'm the one being abused at this point, even if it stems from my own inadequate response, all while I'm responsible to check his basic needs. He also has no SSN (he said he'll be applying to it after he gets EOD, as otherwise it's two different ones, creates confusion), so not even a joint bank account, so I'm the one paying most times, as we've spent most of his assets to get here (over two years journey, starting from escaping militant Russia having to tourist Asia until the docs come, having experienced bombing in Jerusalem, Israel being the only country eventually agreeing to take the transfer, then the move itself). His dad's very sick and he realistically won't be able to see him in at least a year. He says he also has itchy moles, but refuses to use "my money" to go check them, and again, I don't know how I can make him do what he doesn't want to do. Am I being too patient here, or maybe I should give him space? I think I will just stock the fridge with whatever I see fit, and limit active contact? If parents start asking questions, about the noise, or my state, I cannot keep his face without lying that nothing's going on, and I'm sure the atmosphere will be even more sour after I open up. Thank you for any input, I've been feeling very alone.
  10. We were in a similar situation half a year ago. Did not want to compromise fiancé's Schengen admittance in the future by lying risking overstaying. Emailed every embassy that is visa free for Russians, everyone says the US embassy service is for citizens or residents of that country only. Only Jerusalem agreed to take the case, and they didn't have appointments for many months. People on here been saying Bangkok agrees to take you if you are on a student visa as well. Good luck.
  11. Hi guys, this is the freshest topic I found on sending money to Russia. Are there still ways to wire transfer that you could advise? Or is it only crypto at the moment?
  12. Same here. I emailed Kazakhstan, Georgia, Armenia, Thailand, Mongolia...my senator... Jerusalem is the only place that agreed to take the Warsaw transfer without residence. They are saying they don't know how long the transfer will take, as they are not operating a normal schedule, and that the medical will have to be done there. Totally get how you feel. Good luck.
  13. Bangkok consulate was the one I emailed some months ago, asking them if I could transfer my case there (with the student visa). They replied that I should inquire with them through a different email address. So, when I email "support-Poland", instead of "support-Thailand" @ustraveldocs I still get the reply about "send your question to this email", and it's clearly a Bangkok consulate email, the exact same message I have received before, but now I am asking a different consulate about a different thing, and the whole body of my new message, being sent to a different email address, within the same website domain, is asking about Poland. Yet I still get the same reply about Bangkok. I have no idea how is this even possible, it's a different email address, for a different consulate. Now I am confused about how do I ever contact Poland, to make sure they got the package and on how to proceed.
  14. I don't want a transfer. I want to contact the Poland embassy. I am unable to, through this email I provided above. I am wondering if anyone had this issue before and how they solved it, or, if there are other ways to contact them. I might try to phone them, or maybe use a different email... it's just very weird and confusing, what happened there. According to ceac.state.gov, "please wait until you have been notified of your interview appointment." - do you know if it will come in mail, or in email? How long is the average wait for that, as it's been over a month it being "ready" and at least 3 months since they informed me they are sending the package to Poland?
  15. Do you know where to find this invoice number? And so, my question is, how do I contact the Poland consulate that they sent the package to? NVC says the case is ready for the interview, at the Poland consulate. I email them at support-poland@ustraveldocs but somehow keep getting the same response I got when I contacted support-thailand@ustraveldocs, all about Bangkok. I need to reach Poland now, they have the case. I email the right address, but get the response as if I keep emailing Bkk.
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