SinghSaab1

Well thats the reality of social media and the usage of a forum as you dont know me and I dont know you. Anyhow no worries. I got what I needed from this forum. We are beating a dead horse. Take care.

Can I please PM you as I do not want give out too much, more than I have.

I have actually. I know the instructions are simple for a simple filing but this is far from simple. The reason why I am hell bound on getting the medical aspect started is because her diagnosis is a potential Class A Diagnosis rendering her inadmissible if she went in cold turkey without any remedial healing plan. There needs to be a paper trail of her medical condition being attended to for more than just 1-2 months that requires a very specific set of treatment plans. I know this comes later, but this is specific to my situation in ensuring WHEN the time comes for this, there was already a plan in place. I am being proactive not reactive in trying to cure any forseeable delay or denial. That said, "immigration paperwork" is a loose term I throw around for her family so they understand I am not just going on a "witch hunt" for this, she needs to type up her affidavit from her mother to testify certain events in her life took place which she has no documentation for. That paperwork. Its a collective term.

Sorry to hit a nerve and sorry I had to clarify myself to showcase I was talking about myself in the first person which you didnt get my point because others did I feel. Not trying to convince you, or others, its also to let future readers know how dangerous a path this can be if God forbid anyone is in my position because lets face it, love can be blinding in the moment where you end up doing not so "legal" things. That was the point, but okay, glad we are on the same page. And if you read, she has been diagnosed, so please dont assume my family or myself diagnosed her. Very presumptuous. How I know this? Thats why she doesnt want her medical for the CRI to happen because her doctor in the ICU told me that these symptoms have been present since before your marriage. You forgot the whole point it seems of why I wrote the post in the first place. In fact her doctor and I who spoke during her ICU stay told me all her diagnosis and told me NOT to do her immigration paperwork yet. The question initially asked here was about medical disclosure for a CRI and question if she is able to nefariously "lie" about her medical history and the ramifications from therein. I know the crappy position I am in. This is someone who is sadly very ill, someone who I love and care for and want to make it work out, but as others have suggested it depends on her if she wants to, and to that I cannot force her to get treatment if she doesnt want which would not work for me. Thats all there was to it.

Thanks for your input. I know the situation I am in is absolutely not the norm. I have an older brother, happily married, his wife is like an older sister to me and trust me I know how a marriage is supposed to be. There is no one size fits all in a marriage, but I do know this status quo that I am in isnt right. There is the element of attachment and love here, I do love her but its fading away. For example, last night I told her how I am planning on taking my parents, specifically moreso my mom on a spiritual pilgrimage since I dont know if my mom will be alive next year. She threw a tantrum in how I dont prioritize the marriage yet I have been there numerous of times, all of which have gone to s***. She insists and expects my older sibling take them as opposed to me. While "missing me" is one idea to this is what she claims, if thats the case, then Id imagine she should help close the gap and do the immigration paperwork properly. But she doesnt, why? For a CR1 a medical evaluation is needed and information must be disclosed, which she doesnt want to do, so she picks these random BS fights to keep stringing along. But I honestly am glad I wrote about this on this forum. I came for immigration advice and I got a lot more than I asked for in good ways. I appreciate your insight.

I beg your pardon? When and where did I say you or anyone on here is suggesting that? I am speaking for me in the first person and how her family has tried to make that happen. I was speaking for myself. Not sure where you are getting this insinuation from. I dont think you understood my situation very well. Its my wife, shes sadly a baby child who loves to involve her family into every aspect of my presence there because with her BPD she loves to compare and contrast her married life to her sisters etc. Trust me I know how to make my own decisions etc as a I am a grown man doing a world of good in my own merit within my own shadowed in which I am very comfy in. If anything Ive been pleading to her to get her immigration paperwork in order, but she has to rely on her family to get it done, and they dont seem to want any part of this because they have given up on her mental health to which they are putting it on me. Anytime I bring up immigration paperwork, she starts a fight of some sort. Thanks for all the advice but a lot of what you said and insinuated, truly not sure where you got it from, anyhow, take it easy.

I kind of did do this. Got a hotel resort thing set up. Everything was good. She got mad at me for not letting her mom and dad come to our room at 4 am. Why didnt I let it? Well lets just say being a grown man with a grown woman, I could figure out how to uber eats medicine or ask the front desk, let alone we had just finished being intimate. She threw a fit and I told her to lower her voice to where she called 911. Thankfully I recorded it all. She just told the police she had a panic attack and had not taken her meds. She doesnt drive or have much independence. I can def try again but I know how she is. She thinks her mother is God. I am not being cynical in this. She legit thinks her mom is God's gift to earth. Nothing against the lady but she wants me to continually just please her mom. If her mom sneezes, she expects me to call her mom and tell her to go to the doctor. While i am indeed a caring person and have extended my care to them, this is turmoil. I know what I described isnt normal nor acceptable. My hope is her family stops being in denial, help me out to get her help, and give this marriage a chance. Lying to immigration? Hell no. Will never happen on my watch. She is my wife and if she wishes to come to the USA there is only one way to legally come in obtaining a visa that leads to a green card.

Very sorry to hear about the circumstances about your son. That as I see is a situation that merits an emergent B2 Visa. I hope he is doing better. It is indeed very crazy. My mom who also had a cardiac arrest episode, my wife was hell bent on "wanting to come take care of her". Their aim is to get her out of there somehow no matter what it takes. I am being methodical in this in trying to see her through in getting help, but its not even her at this point, she is sick as you said, and dont truly blame her. Its her family. Individually they have told me some very scary details, but then their mom, fires them up to become her savior and practically leaving me high and dry. Thats all I want. I want to know her history, and hopefully get her the help she needs and if she doesnt want to then thats it. I cannot jepordize my life and my family's mental health moreso than it has. Thank you again for your input.

Thanks for your input. Yes I do see a bit of a reality check for me and have gotten more support here than from my in-laws which is very sad. That said, as to your advice on whether she is telling the truth. Well I was saying it from the standpoint of she is not being honest with herself, me, where her family is enabling her dishonesty by way of them saying and her wanting to do a B2 visa and do an adjustment of status when she gets here which is fraud as you know. Also, since she is a Canadian PR, she wants to now apply for her citizenship so she can physically come to the USA to be with me so the pressure is off her familys back (Asian families are weird) in the community in people asking "why hasnt she left yet" as its been close to over 2 years. To alleviate that, they have been trying to manipulate me saying "how I need support during Covid, and me recently being ill with covid, we can apply for a emergent B2 visa" all to later have an adjustment of status. The result? She gets to leave Canada, get the pressure of her family, and circumvent having to present any immediate medical history to any civil surgeon from the US Embassy. Manipulation? Yes. Quite disgusting yet ingenious (in a not so respectful way).

Yes they do need a visa. She does not have a job, go to school or any property back in Canada, so very likely will be denied. Her family encouraged it and wanted to do an adjustment of status, but I actually got quite upset with them and said "thats fraud, that will never ever happen".

Nothing has been submitted for her CR-1, and I mean absolutely nothing. She has at times mentioned how she would be willing to do a B2 visa, which as we know is NOT legal so flat out said hell no to that.

Thank you. I appreciate your honesty. I was really hoping having these conversations with her and the family would enable them to come clean and just tell me what is what so we can get her the help she needs. Immigration is not even something I am considering knowing how muddy the waters are. I believe your assessment is correct and hence have taken it into good light.

I agree it is not and had no plan to use it as such. What I meant was, to start the conversation with her family and her regarding what is required PRIOR to submitted. No way under any condition would I ever side with going through with how things are right now.

No I have not submitted anything. Anytime the conversation comes up. It stalls on the forefront of discussing her work/education history + medical history for the likely mentioned reasons above on having to disclose certain matters.

I have thought about it. But I know her family does not believe in boundaries. I mean we were at a hotel down the street during a short visit, and her parents wants to come up to our hotel room at 4 am to give me medicine for my back pain where I told them over and over and including her, I am alright, I will get it sent over by the hotel staff or something to where she got upset why I am denying my parents access and called the police. That and my own mother is in kidney failure and on a transplant list where I have to watch out for her health to ensure she does not go into cardiac arrest. Thats the thing. When you have that idea in thinking you can fix things, you cant just walk away. I know she can get better and as you correctly said, only she will need to want to fix herself. Its just sad, her family is enabling her behavior and doubling down on her narrative blaming me saying "She was fine before the marriage, something happened afterwards, we are very concerned", yet initially her siblings spilled all the beans of how "she has destroyed many lives, so please save yourself, this is nothing new". Have all the proof in the world to refute anything they say. But I dont want to go down that route. My hope was this immigration process would in some ways "force" her to get help out of fear of being denied a VISA for the USA on the potential idea of someone lying. I also know, she will have some doctor write a bogus letter "clearing" her to come to the USA which worries me to what extent can they lie.

We got married in October of 2021. We met online. We have been in eachothers physical presence for about 2-3 weeks total since then where I would go visit. Everytime I have visited, something dramatic has happened. Between wanting to jump out of cars, calling 911 on me, or just throwing tantrums. As much as this is all wrong, I do love her and want her to get better. Being a medical doctor myself, I dont want to feel a sense of hypocrisy in me abandoning her where it seems thats been the mainstay theme of her life where she initially lost her biological father at a young age.

Thank you for your reply. From what I know and what her family has told me, prior to me, the EMS and police have come to her home many times due to her panic/anxiety attacks. I am not sure if that is even true or who even called it in? But this was done many times. She would be taken to the ER or not taken at all after her mom would instruct her siblings to basically say she is alright and get her back home. Yes, its sad, her mom saves her like this all the time. Also, was in the ICU as I said due to a traumatic burn that occured at 3 am while cooking. I was not there but that is what I was told. Idk if she did it herself. That said, again, the fire dept, police, and EMS came, she was admitted in the ICU and a psychiatrist did see her, and then come talk to me where he said, she likely has Borderline Personality, Psychosis, PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression. I am certain there is a large paper trial between her, the hospital, previous EMS/police encounters, and then she was placed on a medical leave for her school and had to take multiple medical leaves and essentially never went back. My heart tells me, somewhere this will come up in the interview. I dont want her to lie, thats just wrong, but moreso I want her to get better for herself and then to come open about how she is in treatment. But so far, her family isnt supporting, they have left her to it and they want no part of it, but keep asking to either do a B2 visa (yes, and then file for adjustment of status knowing already we are married which would be fraud), or for her to simply get her Canadian Citizenship and go back and forth living as my spouse in the USA which wouldnt work as the Border guards will catch on.

My wife has had long standing depression. It is obviously a sensitive topic but more specifically she has a likely known condition called Borderline Personality Disorder complexed with Psychosis, Anxiety, Depression, PTSD etc and from Canada. She is a Canadian PR. Her family has tried to make the claim that this personality disorder is something new, and although no official diagnosis has been made, the psychiatrist who I spoke to in the hospital when she had a traumatic burn accident, said how she stated how she does not want to live and was emotional being placed on Ketamine IV. While I know she is my wife, and my responsibility, being long distance I can only help her so much. She does have severe mental health issues where she has called the police on me claiming in a hotel room that I tried to come after her which is not true at all. Her family basically just wants to forget all this and send her on her way. I am obviously not okay with this and will not lie on any application. For this, Ive told the family that she needs to see a psychiatrist, determine what her ailment is and determine what treatment is indicated as immigration law requires one to be truthful. She thinks that a letter from her PCP will do clearing her to come to the USA where I fear, what if her PCP will lie too denying her mental health past? I do want to remain married to my wife but not under these circumstances where she is not getting treatment and thereby wanting to NOT disclose her mental health issues. Its a sad situation as it is a South East Asian family with bounds of stigma in not wanting to disclose it. I almost feel sorry for her but I also need to protect myself and my family. What are your thoughts to get around this? Anytime I come forward with the stipulation about her mental health treatment, it turns into deflection where my mental health or whatever they are making it to be comes into question. Would a US Civil Surgeon be mindful enough to pick up on work/education gaps asking why did you not work or go to school since 2018 and suddenly you want to go to the USA? Or is the medical review a simple "checkmark" where they wount review her history or wount pick up on her potentially lying about it? Thanks a lot.