I've sent a letter (and corrected I-130) to the USCIS explaining the problem, asking if anything can be done, and requesting to withdraw the petition if not. I'm heading to the other side of the planet in the morning to spend most of September with my wife. My hope is that a reply will be waiting when I return and then we'll proceed from there. I figure it's 95% likely that we'll be starting over, but since I'll then have to explain my "previous petition", I feel better about exhausting all possibilities first. Also, it's what the person on the USCIS customer support line suggested I do.
I wish that I had a better recollection of the process when I filed but it was more than a year ago. It's so odd that I would make those mistakes. The paper I-130 from which I was working was pretty much ok, so it was just input errors when I did the electronic version. I really don't recall at all other than that it took a few sessions to finish the process. I'm wondering if somehow I didn't save my progress from the last session, or sent it early, or something. It's my fault either way since they send that "snapshot" document after you file. The errors are in there but I didn't see them. I was just recovering from covid at the point so maybe my brain wasn't back up to speed. The snapshot is horribly formatted, and I'm sure I was completely burned out on gathering and entering data by that point, but still. I should have caught the mistakes way back then, but it is what it is.
Maybe I can be a cautionary tale for others