thrownaway

I am at early stage of compiling my VAWA package, but I already got a lot of useful resources and emotional help from this forum so I'd like to share some as well. (If it is shared already, then please regard this as a reminder for new comers)
If you google 'uscis decision issued public copy abused(/battered)', there are numerous public copies of VAWA decision reports (After researching for a while, I believe they are only made for denied cases though) uploaded by USCIS officially. Each report includes decision-making ground on each case in depth. They explain the reasons why the denials were made on such VAWA petitions a great deal. These are very detailed reports with actual examples. It gave me a better idea of which aspect l'll highlight in particular while establishing on my package and, additionally, some peace of mind knowing how my experiences with my abuser will be perceived in USCIS's eyes.

I am at early stage of compiling my VAWA package, but I already got a lot of useful resources and emotional help from this forum so I'd like to share some as well. (If it is shared already, then please regard this as a reminder for new comers)
If you google 'uscis decision issued public copy abused(/battered)', there are numerous public copies of VAWA decision reports (After researching for a while, I believe they are only made for denied cases though) uploaded by USCIS officially. Each report includes decision-making ground on each case in depth. They explain the reasons why the denials were made on such VAWA petitions a great deal. These are very detailed reports with actual examples. It gave me a better idea of which aspect l'll highlight in particular while establishing on my package and, additionally, some peace of mind knowing how my experiences with my abuser will be perceived in USCIS's eyes.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Thank you. Your comment means a lot to me. It actually lifted up my bad mood after talking to my therapist this morning. I was able to start working on my declaration that I have been putting off, thanks to you. As I articulate what happened to me in a written way, it is clear that what my abuser did to me is disturbing and I’m justified to feel the way I feel. I felt guilty even going for VAWA because part of me somehow questions myself what if I’m just overly antagonizing my spouse or somehow even tricking myself to just obtain green card. Your comment made me feel a lot better and gave me the courage to not give up and carry on.

Thank you. Your comment means a lot to me. It actually lifted up my bad mood after talking to my therapist this morning. I was able to start working on my declaration that I have been putting off, thanks to you. As I articulate what happened to me in a written way, it is clear that what my abuser did to me is disturbing and I’m justified to feel the way I feel. I felt guilty even going for VAWA because part of me somehow questions myself what if I’m just overly antagonizing my spouse or somehow even tricking myself to just obtain green card. Your comment made me feel a lot better and gave me the courage to not give up and carry on.

Thank you. Your comment means a lot to me. It actually lifted up my bad mood after talking to my therapist this morning. I was able to start working on my declaration that I have been putting off, thanks to you. As I articulate what happened to me in a written way, it is clear that what my abuser did to me is disturbing and I’m justified to feel the way I feel. I felt guilty even going for VAWA because part of me somehow questions myself what if I’m just overly antagonizing my spouse or somehow even tricking myself to just obtain green card. Your comment made me feel a lot better and gave me the courage to not give up and carry on.

Thank you. Your comment means a lot to me. It actually lifted up my bad mood after talking to my therapist this morning. I was able to start working on my declaration that I have been putting off, thanks to you. As I articulate what happened to me in a written way, it is clear that what my abuser did to me is disturbing and I’m justified to feel the way I feel. I felt guilty even going for VAWA because part of me somehow questions myself what if I’m just overly antagonizing my spouse or somehow even tricking myself to just obtain green card. Your comment made me feel a lot better and gave me the courage to not give up and carry on.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.

Do anybody here find just going through filing VAWA extremely hard and mental draining? I actually felt a lot better after separating with the abuser. However, talking about my experiences with therapists & lawyers just brings me back to where I was.
Since I was never subjected to physical abuse, having to prove that I was actually abused messes me up. I don’t feel like nobody would validate my feelings or experiences. I know therapists & lawyers I spoke with intended to help me, but hearing stuff like ‘you need more evidences’ hurt me deep down. part of me is still questing if I was actually abused or I am just over-reacting, dramatic, and whiny. (as my abuser used to claim)
I sort of just want to leave everything behind and move on, but the process itself doesn’t let me do so. It requires me to assert I was victimized so bad, but I don’t want to feel victimized. I want to focus on good parts of my life moving forward. Whenever I talk to therapists or lawyers, I feel low all day. It’s hard to dig through all the memories I would rather forget, then try to document them so that I would be able to build a stronger case.
I am scared of eventually getting denied VAWA, not just because I’ll have to leave the states, but mainly I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle that feeling of ultimate invalidation on my experiences. Since big essential part of the abuse was invalidating my feelings, making me feel nothing I feel is eight, and I’m just crazy.