Kawika & Michelle

Green card came in about a month before the SS card. SS card was delivered to us some time last week.

I was able to chat online with someone from the USCIS. Apparently they indicated that my step son's information was sent to the SS office a few days after his application was approved. I was then told to contact the SS office to get more information about his SS card. I plan to call the SS office tomorrow or Friday to see if I can get any additional information.

Hi folks, My step son got his AOS approved last month (November 9th). As part of the I-485 application process, we requested a social security card for him. We have not received any information on his SSN since receiving his green card. We initially tried to get him a SSN when he initially entered the country like we did with his mother, but the SSN office told us that he could not apply for it before the AOS. I am not sure if we need to continue to wait for his SSN to arrive or if we need to go down to the local SSN office & try to get him one ourselves. Can anyone shed some light on the subject? Thanks! Kawika

Just making sure that the post marked date counted as the submission date.

Hi Folks, Just wanted to see if anyone may know what happens in our situation. We ended up waiting until Monday (May 13th) to submit all of our AOS paperwork for my stepson. Today is officially his 90 day end date as he entered the country on February 16th, 2024. The submission was sent via USPS Priority Mail on Monday, however per the tracking information we were given the package sat for 3 days before it was accepted at the first USPS Origin Facility shortly past midnight on May 16th. Expected delivery is for Saturday, May 18th so I am guessing that the package will not be delivered until Monday the 20th. Is there anything we can or should do in this situation? Thanks! Kawika

So even if he has his K2 VISA...we are still leaving this blank?

Hi Folks, In the process of filling out the AoS for my stepson...in the I-485 form...do I use his mother's Alien Registration Number when filling out the form or should he have his own number? Thanks! Kawika

Hi Folks, My wife & I are in the process of bringing her son over from the Philippines on a K2 "Follow To Join" VISA option. She came to the US last May & we were married in June. She asked me about potentially changing her son's last name to my/our last name since he would be the only one in the house with a different last name. Does anyone know what options we have to make this happen? Thanks! Kawika

Which one? Our AoS?

Hi Folks, It's been awhile since I posted here & as such a lot of this stuff is a little foggy in my memory. My wife & I (she came here as a K1 fiancé visa holder) need to bring her 4 year old son to the US as part of the follow to join option. Both her 4 year old & her 10 year old was included on the original K1 visa application, but only her youngest will be joining us. She received her K1 VISA on May 4th, 2023 so we are assuming that he will need to get his VISA issued to him prior to that date. What we are trying to determine now is the best way to get him here that will account for any bumps we may have along the way. He already has his passport. As far as I know & can recall from the original process, we still need to complete a DS-160 for him, complete his medical examination & finally the embassy interview. We know that we ideally need to get his medical exam done at least 2-3 months prior to his interview just in case he gets flagged for the 2 month sputum test. Can I go ahead & complete the DS-160 now even if we have no plans to do anything until 2024? I'm not sure if that DS-160 is only valid for a period of time or not. Do we complete the DS-160, pay the MRV fee, then set up the interview & then schedule the medical exam? Am I forgetting anything? I know the medical exam is only valid for 6 months...so the earliest we should consider having him do the medical exam is in November or December for it to last through May. Does the medical exam need to be valid post entry into the US? I'm guessing we'll be starting his AOS shortly after he arrives in the US as well. Any input or guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Kawika

I'm not sure if this is specific to your case, but for my wife's adjustment of status petition...we got an RFE to prove that her sponsor (me) is an American citizen. I sent them a copy of my Passport & State certified Birth Certificate (either would have been sufficient) as a response electronically through their website. It was accepted a couple of days later & the review process continued shortly thereafter.

My wife is in the same status right now. For what it's worth...we took the advice of the group & got her a SSN before she was married. We got the SS card issued. We went back to the SS Administration to have her SS card updated with her married name, but because we attempted to do about a week or two prior to her K1 VISA due date they would not issue a new SS card. They told us that we would have to wait until her green card was issued before we could update her SS card. It seems that had we made the time to get to the SS Administration 3+ weeks prior to her K1 VISA due date...then they would have just issued her a new SS card with her married name. Hopefully this helps someone out there.

Have you tried contacting the embassy directly via phone to ask about your particular situation?

If you really are seeking a Christian Filipina wife then I would say take a look at ChristianFilipina.com. The main reason I did not go that route was due to the cost. I had already paid for a few of the US based dating services in the past & just felt like it was a waste of time & money...so I was wary of throwing more money away. I do think that the quality of woman that you find there will be a lot higher & you should find much less scammers on that site versus some of the free sites that people are suggesting. If you don't mind taking the time to sift through the scammers in hopes of finding a genuine woman...then certainly going the route of the free dating websites should be a good place to find some eligible women. ChristianFilipina.com seems to do a fairly good job of vetting the women on the site. I can understand the feeling of wanting/needing a wing man to go along with you...but I think you'll find that things there are a lot different than you find here. People are generally friendly & open to foreigners. I don't think you'll find women throwing themselves at you...but most will be at least open to chatting & getting to know you versus the general temperament you may find here. I'm a fairly laid back & shy guy myself...but once you get a feel for the lay of the land & the "competition" you have over there...I think you'll feel more at home than you realize. I'd definitely consider starting friendships with 2-3 women when you have a hard date set on when you can go there. That will give you a chance to date a couple of different women to get an idea of how each woman may or may not fit with you & your expectations. I'd just be sure to be open with them & let them know that you aren't in a committed relationship. What you'll have to accept is that giving them that information may end up also opening the door to them seeking attention from other people too & rightfully so. Just keep in mind that everyone's recommendations will be tainted with their success & failures they may have experienced...things which may never happen to you. If you just go there with an open mind & an open heart...I think you'll find a lot of other women there who are looking for the same things that you are.

If a man is only motivated by lust...then in today's world...there are zero benefits to a man getting married or seeking out any kind of binding relationship. Typically a man's sexual market value will only continue to increases as he ages while a woman's hits its peak in their 30s and rapidly declines thereafter. The only reason a man who is driven by lust would seek marriage is for the raising of children. Beyond that...men driven by lust are far better off simply bouncing from relationship to relationship continuing to upgrade his partner while not being financially tied to any of them.

I think it's been proven time & time again that women in general will always focus on their partners overall financial well-being whereas men are primarily motivated by love. It doesn't necessarily mean that all women are gold diggers per say...but it does speak to the importance that financial security means to a woman. I never understand why some folks seem to try to shame women in other countries for them to seek financially secure partners from other countries when women in other countries are looking for the same thing. If America was full of poor men & foreign men who were more financially secure had an interest in American women...we would be seeing the same situation happening in our country. You can't blame them for looking outside of their country if what they want is not as easily found in their home country. Men on the other hand rarely consider a woman's career or financial situation other than making sure she isn't bringing in huge debt or perhaps was in a questionable career path like a stripper or prostitute. At least for me...I really couldn't care less what career path my partner was in or if she just wanted to be a stay at home mom. I was more interested in whether she was a Christian, was she attractive to me, was she a good person, did she have a fun personality, did she have good morals & values, did I enjoy her company, could I make her happy, etc. As a man, when I found myself divorced and back on the market 4 years ago...I spent a good year healing by going to church, attending DivorceCare & other relationship related activities. I didn't necessarily feel like I needed it...but I also wanted to be sure that I took the time to heal so that I wouldn't bring any unnecessary baggage into any future relationship. I took the time to reflect on myself & more importantly define what it was that I was looking for in a partner. Identifying the things that I was no longer willing to compromise on in a future partner. As a Christian, I joined several of the single Christian groups at a few of our local churches & took part in their activities to get an idea of what was out there in my local area. During my initial search, I had not even considered looking outside of the country or even outside of my local area (except for perhaps back in my home state) for a partner. I personally met a lot of nice women & had expressed interest in a few of them which didn't pan out. In my past I was normally the kind of guy who found what he wanted & would pursue her but this time around I wanted to give God a say in things. So instead of pursuing women like I did in the past, I decided to simply express my genuine interest in a woman when I happened to find someone that I felt might be a good match...and if she didn't reciprocate interest, I would just accept that God had someone else for me & move on. I think I expressed interest in 2-3 women at that time...but none of them were interested. I also had a few women express their interest in me, but for whatever reason I wasn't interested in them. At that point I expanded my search to the online dating world. It doesn't take long to realize that the majority of the dating profiles you'll find online are filled with fake scammers looking to take advantage of lonely people. You will also quickly realize that in the online space is primarily made up of people who are simply looking to hook up which wasn't something I was interested in at all. When you do happen to connect with other genuine people online...I think what you do quickly find is that there are a lot of broken people out there that haven't taken the time to heal from their past relationships. My first contact with a foreign woman (not scam related) was actually with a woman from the Philippines. We happened to connect on OKCupid. Up until that point, I hadn't really even given thought of looking outside of the US. I was also not fully versed with the Philippines culture or the challenges that the majority of the people face there...especially a woman who was in the province & didn't have regular access to a phone, internet, electricity, etc. At the time, it just sounded like yet another scam being played. While I was getting to know her, I decided to take the time to do watch some YouTube videos on the Philippines and Filipina women in general. This was roughly in 2019/2020 when most of the now prevalent YouTube channels on Filipinas didn't exist. But there was enough out there to peak my interest. If you are dead set on finding someone in another country...then I would make plans to travel to that country for at least a week at some point in the future. Once you choose your destination...start taking time to learn more about the women there & their culture. About a month prior to your trip, start making contacts with women there via dating sights or even Facebook groups so that you have a few options when you get there. I didn't do this...but it has been suggested before to have 2-3 women there that you are interested in & date both of them while you are there to see if you have a genuine connection with any of them. If you don't, don't be afraid to just go to your local mall and simply walk around. I traveled to the Philippines...and to be honest...there were beautiful women everywhere. They aren't all physically beautiful of course...but there were a good amount of them. They may not all be interested in you...but I am sure that you can get at least a few dates if you put yourself out there. In the end...you pretty much just have to be honest with yourself & figure out what it is that you are looking for. Are you just looking to date? Are you looking for a wife? Once you figure that out...then the rest just sort of falls into place...

To clarify...the last part for each child you list here asks: "Is this child applying with you?" What should be the answer for a K2 Follow To Join situation where the child has not yet moved to the US? Thanks! Kawika

Hi Folks, My wife & I were married last weekend and I am looking for the best way to take care of her name change. Supposedly here in Texas a name change is allowed after marriage but I haven't been able to find any kind of guide on what exactly needs to be done to make all of this happen. I filed for her SS card as suggested here in the forums once she arrived, so I plan to submit a form to update her name for her new SS card. She does not have a Texas ID or driver's license as of yet, so is there any where else that I would need to update her name change? Perhaps with the Philippines embassy so that her passport can be updated? In addition, I have heard on a YouTube video that the name change only applies to her last name & not her middle name. Can anyone else confirm this? I guess in the Philippines it is tradition to move your maiden name to your middle name upon marriage. Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Kawika

Looking for clarification...it seems that you are only allowed to change your last name after marriage. So in cases like the Philippines where they like to move their former last name to their middle name, this apparently is not allowed until much later in the immigration process. From what I understand, my wife will only be allowed to use her current first & middle name along with my last name as her legal name during the AoS process. After naturalization there is apparently a three year point at which time they will be allowed to change their middle and/or first name. Can anyone else confirm or verify this? I am in the process of completing the AoS forms & had been filling out the forms using my wife's first name former last name as her middle name & our shared last name. Thanks!

Found the answer to the W-4 part: "To qualify for the child tax credit, the child must be under age 17 as of December 31, must be your dependent who generally lives with you for more than half the year, and must have the required social security number." So based on the legal definition, he will not qualify as a dependent until he arrives in the US & we request a SSN for him.

Hi Folks, I just got married over the weekend & am in the process of updating my benefits to include my wife & updating my W-4 forms. I am planning to go with "Married Filing Jointly" even though my wife will likely not work for the first couple of years that she is here. She has two children still in the Philippines. Her oldest will be staying with his father while her youngest (4 years old) will be coming over next May on a K-2 Follow To Join VISA. My question is...do I add him as a dependent for my W-4? I am currently supporting him financially in the Philippines. Or do I add him as a dependent next May when he enters the US? On a different note...do I need to adopt him for him to be able to stay in the US? Are there benefits for this or reasons I shouldn't? Do I need to adopt him to add him on to my medical benefits for my work or can he be added as a step child? Would we need the consent of his father if I decided to adopt him? Any insight on all of this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Kawika

You can get it directly from the office clerk. At least in Fort Bend County you have to pay per page...looks like your fiancé's is 40 pages long...mine was 54+ and it's like a dollar or two per page. I gave my fiancé a copy I got from our county clerk for her interview (Philippines). They took that and put it in to the envelope that was given to the immigration officers during her entry in to the US. For whatever reason, the immigration officer kept the divorce decree & whatever other documents that the consulate put into the envelope during the interview process. She asked the officer during entry if they would be returning those documents but the officer told her that it was their copies & kept it. This was only a few weeks ago, so I'm not really sure what documents were a part of that envelope package.

Hi Folks, My wife & I were married yesterday and I am looking for the best way to take care of her name change. Supposedly here in Texas a name change is allowed after marriage but I haven't been able to find any kind of guide on what exactly needs to be done to make all of this happen. I filed for her SS card as suggested here in the forums once she arrived, so I plan to submit a form to update her name for her new SS card. She does not have a Texas ID or driver's license as of yet, so is there any where else that I would need to update her name change? Perhaps with the Philippines embassy so that her passport can be updated? Any guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! Kawika

I was not familiar with that specific verbiage but definitely familiar with the concept. It's definitely not something I believe in when it comes to personal relationships as it goes against everything it is to be a Christian. It certainly has its place in a business related world...but not much beyond that. I think that is one of the primary reasons why there is so much divorce today because so many people go into marriages solely for the purpose of doing it for their own benefit. When things get bad they would much rather decide that they chose the wrong person or that there is simply someone better out there for them. The reality is that part of the problem (yourself) is always going to go with you into every future relationship. I definitely hesitated sharing some of the things I did about my partner's past simply because they should remain private...but at the same time I felt that most people would react with the plethora of knee-jerk reactions responses that people gave anyways. I appreciate everyone who took the time to respond whether good or bad. Everyone has their right to their own opinions...and I think we all know that opinions are like #######...we all have one...unfortunately our noses are too far away from our ####### so we don't realize how much they can stink at times. All that being said...my fiancé is a good woman...and a good mom...and I'm not just going to toss her aside because maybe she has a little growing up to do. She may be in her 30s but this is only her second real relationship she has been in so far. She's struggled all her life just to provide food for her sons & herself. She isn't fully at fault for our problems. I'm sure I contribute on some level in every situation we tackle & overcome together. There are a lot of different factors & dynamics in play in ours & everyone's relationships so there is never going to be a fool proof method that works for everyone. Just like every other international couple we have our share of cultural differences to work through & learn from one another. We're both first time step parents. This is the first time being on her own...being away from her family...her children...and still not being confident enough with her English skills to feel comfortable enough to interact with my kids most of the time. She's simply under a lot of stress...and that's to be expected & perfectly OK. I'm not trying to say that I condone or agree with how she lashes out when she is angry...but I certainly understand it. I also don't think people realize how hard it can be for someone to be in a relationship with someone who is always as calm, cool & collected as I am even in the fiercest of storms in life. Sometimes when people are hurt...they want the person that hurt them to feel some pain too and because I don't respond in the way she hopes...she only escalates things in hopes of getting that response from me...so it only frustrates her more & more when I don't respond. All that being said...as luck would have it...after spending most of the day talking about this on the forums...I get home from work only to find my fiancé & my youngest daughter hanging out like best friends singing songs on YouTube and eating candy. It's like I stepped in to the Twilight Zone from the world I had left earlier that morning. These were the types of interactions that I was familiar with during the time they spent together in March.

This comment was in reference to something else & is being taken out of context. This is in relation to how we have our children address adults. If I thought for one second she was a truly mean person, I would have ended the relationship long ago. As I had explained previously...the kids were formally introduced to her in person in March. They knew of her existence well before then and that we were on the K1 immigration process. This is not just like a brand new person randomly showed up in their house. They were told in March that based on our speculation and what little everyone knew of the timelines that she would be living with us no later than June. As luck would have it...it moved up a couple of weeks from what we had all planned. Granted...I could have & should have explained every step of the process for them...but I didn't...and it cannot be undone. No one had an unkind word to say about her & everyone got along during our trip to meet her & her family. There were no red flags that made me feel that any of my children needed any additional conversations regarding the situation. If I had noticed any issues between my children & my fiancé...we would have addressed it immediately and if it could not have been resolved...then we would not have moved forward with our relationship.