A good friend of mine took the time to actually ask me ... "What makes your Ramel so special to you?"
Well, I'll tell you what makes him so special to me.
When first we met it was in a game that we both played. He had been sitting in one area when I had come through and he sent me a whisper asking me if I would marry him, this was all in game of course. At the time my character was already married so I had to politely decline, although I was flattered and intimidated at the same time. We talked a little more, then we exchanged messenger information and I will admit I was slightly reluctant to add him, for I wasn't the most trusting sort of person, although I am good at pretending that I am.
Well as time passed we talked more and more and became better friends, I was married he had a girlfriend and we would chat about how they were doing and how we were doing, how our lives were and how we were all doing in game. Over time he earned my trust, something that I have never, ever regretted giving to him, for I had inkling that he was a decent person, and I found out that I was right. For once I had listened to my intuition although my rational and logical mind tried to talk me out of it.
Eventually things turned to a more serious nature as we talked more in-depth about our lives, we talked about all things from his promises to his parents since he is the eldest child, the culture and lives of the Filipinos to my failing marriage, horrible past with family and even the culture and lives of the Americans. Each night that passed I found myself staying up later and later just to be able to talk to him when he came online, even if it was just a simple, "Heya how are you?" For he tends to get busy with work; which is understandable as work always comes before anything else, especially online chats and games.
I don't know the exact moment that I began to love him, or even when I fell in love with him, but I do know that I tried to deny it at every opportunity that I could. Could you blame me? I was married, no matter if it was unhappily so, have a child from a man who was not my husband, although it happened before I met the man I married, dependent on another for a living and my family was a wreck as we never got along. Then there was Ramel, he had a girlfriend, he is this wonderful caring man, a decent education that got him a good job, he has such a strong bond with his family, has high morals and a strong sense of direction and duty. Two total opposites and I don't think I need to mention the distance, as he lives in the Philippines and I live in the USA.
Yet as time went on, he continued to take the time to get to know me, the real me, the one that I try to keep locked away and hidden from everyone else, for fear of rejection or ridicule, for that has been the only way of life I have known growing up. I was never pretty enough, good looking enough, smart enough or never did anything right, to sum it all up, I couldn't seems to please anyone and I sure as hell couldn't seem to make myself happy.
But Ramel has changed a lot of that, he has always been willing to lend a shoulder, to cry on, when it is needed for any kind of strength or support; or an ear, to bend, when it is needed to vent or to just talk and get things out into the open. He has always been the silent strength that I have needed to keep holding my chin high and to keep going day after day. Always offering support and encouragement, always showing me that I can and should try to do better and to be better then I thought I could ever accomplish.
When my marriage finally failed and I left, filing for divorce he was there to help me through the bad times. He even showed me that when vindictive and petty people would poke fun of me, making a joke of my personal appearance and life that it was okay to let them talk, to look past their words and to not let it bother me as I always did. He has always been able to make me smile even on the worst days when I didn't want to be in this world anymore. He has even, without realizing it, gotten me to have faith in some things that I had lost faith in so long ago.
So when he admitted that he loved me, truly loved me, I was a bit hesitant at first, as at that point I still assumed that he had his girlfriend. But I had been reassured that he was no longer with her and that he wanted no other but me, I finally gave voice to the feelings that I had suppressed for so long. I admitted to him that, I too, loved him.
So as you can see, it wasn't an instant thing, it was a love that grew gradually overtime, a love that we both share and hope that one day, soon, that we can both be together as one. We have talked of the future, of marriage, of children and growing old together, he even considers my son his own son, which still to this day gets me a bit misty eyed for I know that it isn't always an easy thing to accept the child of another man or woman. Yet Ramel has never made it be anything but what he has said it to be. I have a feeling that he is truly a good and decent person and I don't think he will ever hurt or disappoint me. Next to my son, he is the most important person in my life and I hope that one day I can show to him just how much he truly means to me and when that time comes, I hope like hell that I don't disappoint or fail him, for that would be totally devastating to me
July 2008 Update:
I did finally make a trip to the Philippines, left St. Louis, MO on July 24th… yet after a few mishaps with flight cancellations, delays and long hours in airports I finally made it to Manila and into the arms of Ramel. He is such a gentleman that far exceeds those who claim to be one in the States. No offense to the few 2% who are true gentlemen, of course, but you all are very rare to find.
August 2008 Update:
I have met his parents, his grandmother, some of his siblings, his aunts, uncles, cousins and friends. It seems that I have passed their acceptance test, although they feel that I should talk more. *LOL* His sister is a doll, she is adorably cute with dimples to boot, and she has been so kind and helpful in keeping an eye on me and taking me around Iligan City.
She has been a good sport in helping the tourist side of me explore new places and things. Even if she has led the hotel staff to believe that Rams is an American Citizen and that we have bee married 5 years now. Boy will they get a surprise when we ask them to cater our wedding reception. *LMAO*
So far everyone that knows him that I have met have been so nice along with a few strangers. Yet it seems that the majority of the people can't get over their curiosity of the strange American Female walking among them. It seems that they can't figure me out. Oh well, I love being a mystery to others ... it can be very fun.
Although the mixture of looks is still a bit hard to get used too ... the out and out curious looks, I can handle. The 'interested' looks and calls of the males I can ignore with a flash of my ring. But the looks of distaste from the females are a bit hard to overlook. I had been warned that it would happen like that, because there is a larger female population then male population and a lot of jealously. Too bad!
Anyways, we have all papers needed to get married and the license will be available to be picked up on Aug. 11th. We have then scheduled the wedding to take place on Aug. 12th at 10:00 am Philippine Time. Then on Aug. 13th we will be taking a ferry from Iligan City to Manila ... kind of like a honeymoon voyage although we have been living the honeymoon since my arrival. *wiggles brow*
Then come Aug. 15th at 10:00 pm, Philippine Time I will board a plane to return to the US, with much sadness for I will be leaving my heart behind when I do. Neither one of us want to part ways, yet we both know that we have a son that I have to return too in the US and therefore I have to return. Yet hopefully in less then a year we can be reunited once more.
Final August Update:
On August 11, 2008 at 2:00 pm I became Mrs. Cardino. We had to move the wedding up by one day because the Mayor of Linamon, the city we filed in. Something had come up that the Mayor wouldn't have been available on the 12th. But then again the sooner the better is what we all agreed on anyways.
Things went smoothly and easily for the most part ... there were a few obstacles as always, which I will explain in more detail later ... although I think he was more nervous then I was, but I was so happy when it began that I felt like crying tears of joy. So surrounded by our witnesses and sponsors (some of his family and friends) we joined two lives into one.
Although I think that the Mayor has lost his mind when he said that he would like to see 2 Dozen kids from him and I! I told him that 1 dozen was realistic and that we would have to seriously talk before thinking about 2 dozen.
