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Everything posted by smore
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I am happy with myself, I believe that I am. I am not the type or never been the type to have to be in a relationship, I carry on with life when I am alone. Where as some people just have to be in a relationship and hop from one to the next. So yes I believe I am happy even when alone. But I see nothing wrong with wanting a relationship, wanting to share life with someone and trying to find that person, but still remaining to live life until that occurs. I actually have never traveled internationally, except to Canada and Mexico. I do know there are many places in this world much better than america, no offense to america, but our world is full of amazing places. I completely agree america is not 100% perfect and wonderful, no having to convince me of that. I have seen people face challenges here, my upbringing, faith, personality is one that understands this, and does not judge anyone for the challenges they have face or that they continue to face. I am not sure about moving to another country, with how GREAT america has become, thats a joke by the way the thought has crossed my mind. But with my life here I do not believe I could up and move, I don't have such a simple life here and to pick up and move would be pretty tough. If I lived in a small apartment with not much belongings it would be easier. A country life is not the easiest life, simple perhaps, peaceful yeah, but lots to do and also to maintain things. I do agree about compromise, but also I feel being upfront as well, and if I would be unable to move that would be something to let them know up front, and than its there choice to continue to get to know me. People even here in the US who have met others around the US are in those situations where one just cannot move and the other is the one who moves, in any situation one person is certainly going to have to move if you want to be together. Yes one sided relationships do not work, but some things you need to discuss and some things just cannot be changed and it could be a deal breaker. Faith is important to me, morals, values and some sort of faith, now it does not have to be a certain religion even. I was brought up with my faith but no I have not explored how that faith is around the world, I am really not that deep into religion for that sorta research, but I am open to learning from others when those moments arise. So I am not seeking someone of a specific religion, I am not limiting or narrowing it down to that. You never know who you will connect with, they could be of some different religion but your ideas line up for the most part, no two people are going to be the same. I certainly do not see old school morals as women are dogs that require owners to dominate them, not sure where that came from, I do not see old school as women stay home and men work or the man dominates the woman and runs the house. I see old school as simple, genuine, kind, loving, unselfish, and having respect for one another, having respect for what you have with one another. Old school to me is simple common decency for each other. You really went out into left field with this moral thing, your words you wrote are certainly not my view on women. Women can be anything they want, they certainly are not subs, certainly can have an education, work any job they want, be apart of what ever they want. And everyone I have been with I have been supportive of whatever they want to be. Again WOW you have really went OFF BASE with your comments and I do not appreciate you putting me in some level that other men are with there masculinity, not sure where you are coming from or why. I am being real here that I do not appreciate it and I am wondering why you would make such comments, although perhaps general comments they are disturbing that you might suggest I am thinking in such ways. My view relationships are 50/50, yes each picks up the slack, each 100% respects each other, does not judge, look down upon, but lifts each other up. A woman can certainly be independent and be in a relationship, both need to have there independence, that is where you trust one another. I do agree all these shows 90 day are scripted, stupid, fake, full of drama. Of course they are full of drama as why would anyone watch as we americans seem to love drama and other peoples issues. Those shows have probably ruined things for many out there who believe in finding someone abroad.
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I do agree that fate does have something to do with it, the choices we make, places we visit whether in person or now days with our heads being so wrapped around technology the sites we visit and the other person was there at the same time. Its great fate worked out for you, congratulations.
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I just looked up ChristianFilipina and read some awful reviews about it, pretty much just like all other dating sites, the want your money, they have so many fake profiles. Years ago these sites never used to be this way, so who is ruining things for these sites the sites themselves to try and stay competitive or other people using it as a place to scam people. It would be nice to actually find a site with genuine people. I did find some good reviews about the site as well, so who knows about that site, but I do appreciate the suggestion, its certainly a thought and option. Free dating sites, don't think there are anymore now days. Yeah the friend or wing man thing would be nice, traveling alone does not sound to fun, and a bit scary and overwhelming to a country or just a place you do not know. I mean even here in the USA I would not go on some vacation alone, just not my idea of fun, safe, etc. Always seems no matter where you are going when you have a friend with you carry a bit more confidence and you just enjoy yourself more. Its great that the people there are way different than here, being that they are friendly and open to foreigners. What no women throwing themselves at me from across the street, thats it I am not going..... Just Joking.....But it does sound like women do like american men, are curious, attracted leading to them being open to talking, versus here in america they could care less about you, will usually not approach, and if you approach them your a creep. Its like leave me alone attitude. And before I get a comment on that, no not all women here are like that NO, but its an overall experience and everyones experience is different, but america in general is going down the tubes, where as it seems other countries esp ones with old school values like Philippines are very welcoming and friendly. I get the starting to talk with a few thing, its difficult I guess for me as I try and focus on one person even in the beginning stages, but it also can set one up for lots of wasted time even here in the USA when you go on a date and the connection is just not there. But yes it would be nice to go on several dates and see who a person forms the best connection with and than proceed from there. Yes being upfront is best, and yes they could also be talking with several others, but I guess that is how it works until you both decide we are only moving forward with one another. Yes I agree everyones advise and experience is different so I just try and take it all in and make my own choices. Its mainly about soaking in all the info and advise as it all helps.
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Looking for advise, guidance, suggestions. Being this is not really a dating site I don't believe I would find a girlfriend from this thread. I had focused on the Philippines but am open to other areas.
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I like that they are raised with old school morals. Here in USA that is rare now days. I was not aware of such women in Philippines who had college, 4 year degrees. It did seem like most were poor, no education, and a few from broken homes. You seem to say don't waste time on poor, no education, broken homes or ones with kids. I mean yes it would be nice to find a woman who is educated, good home, but again I did not know many existed.
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I will have to check out that site soon, being able to message a few women, get to know them, find ones in which you like their personality, develop a friendship with and than hopefully more of a connection with as you get to know each other. It would be nice to have a few to meet in person, I always been the type to only focus on 1 person at a time in the initial stages of getting to know each other and going on a date, but sometimes you talk with someone for a bit, go on a date and you just did not feel that connection, now you have to start all over with another 1 person. Guess I just did that out of respect or something, but not sure why because at that stage your just talking. I think alot of people are talking with several people and perhaps that is the way to go no matter where I am finding people abroad or local or USA. When you find that 1 that you go on a date with you connect with best than you move forward just with that person. So again it would be nice to have a few women to meet if traveling to visit. What company are you talking about where you meet many women at a time, almost like speed dating. Never tried speed dating as where I am located its to small of an area to offer such things. But I have heard of it and really it sounds like its a great idea because you get to mingle with several people and hope for a connection, your odds are just better I would think to find someone. So those social events your talking about in the Philippines sound like an interesting idea. But are the women at those genuine or does it feel like some marriage setup deal, marriage broker I think is there term or something like that? And with limited time it sounds like a good option, but the only downfall is you don't get to build some connection before going there and meeting like you would with meeting them online, messaging for a bit. I have always been the focus on 1 but it would be nice to go on a few dates during my time there. Unless I develop this amazing connection with just 1 via messaging, but still just as I have done in the past I may lock myself into them and than when meeting if that connection is there now I have no other options. Here is the USA it was not such a big deal, you just move forward trying to meet someone and go on another date, but traveling so far and for things not to work out and having no other options would be wasteful.
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Yes I agree everyone has there parameters for decency so very subjective to try and explain. To me decent is having morals, values, respect, being unselfish, helpful, there for the other person. Seems like simple things but in todays society they are tough to find those simple things. I do not have this long complicated, involved list for what defines a decent person, its more or less a few simple things but those simple things are core things as well and if the person is shelfish than that can really change the scoop of how things will work out together.
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I can survive without finding a SO, but its not about need, but want. I want to find a SO, I feel life is fuller sharing your life with someone. Until than I will live my life, be as happy as I can be. I enjoyed my past relationships, of course those relationships did not work out, but I can look back and say there were times of enjoyment. And yes being in a not so populated area does make things tough, but I know people in larger cities and its tough also for them as everyone has turned to technology now days, you can be in a big city and its like your in some small town as everyone is just so anti social, head down in their phone. Growing up we went outside with our friends, now you sit and chat online with your friends, even if they just live next door. Sorta sad what our world has turned into, that is why I do value those who are a bit more old school still.
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If any woman is happy without a man than there is nothing wrong with that, I believe in people being able to be who they are. It might be a bit unfair of me to say decent women are hard to come by however its a general statement and its also an honest statement that decent woman are hard to come by, just like women say decent men are hard to come by. There are probably tons of decent women, tons of decent men, now where does one find those decent ones, that is the question. Everyone is different, and we all should be able to be different. If you were happy being single than that worked for you, others might not like being single. I mean there were times in my life I was ok with being single, was not ready, but to me sharing your life with someone is more fulling.
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Not sure what this comment was asking or referencing. I have no issues with american women finding foreign men, people should be able to seek who they want to, who they are interested in.
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I myself am not sure if long distance relationship is for me, its a tough way to go, not ideal, but its an option. If I found someone I would have no issues going back home to visit there family, that would actually be nice, a nice vacation with each other. I am being upfront and honest that I am not retired, I work and have many responsibilities taking care of a home so I cannot just go traveling as I please. Luckily I have tried to simplify my life, as much as I like animals I do not have one now as that would make it even harder to travel, but some things and responsibilities you cannot simplify or find help to take care of if your gone all the time. If I met someone and connected with them I could find the time to go and visit them, but could I do that often probably not, the point would be to hopefully connect enough before meeting, while meeting, after meeting to make that choice to want to be together and start that process. Pretty typical normal process like you would with anyone your dating here, except for some major differences like not being able to go on a date this weekend, its more of talk this weekend. All I can speak for is my own desires and ideals, not having met that person I cannot speak for there desires and ideals but would certainly want to know what those are. I appreciate you sharing reality. I am certainly not set on finding someone overseas. Ideally I would like to find someone here in the USA, but in this journey I also told myself I am expanding my horizons so would be open to the idea of it.
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I do get your point "STOP LOOKING", but I also feel one has to try. Not being from a populated area I am not going to just run into someone out of sheer luck. So I have to try and look, not like spend all my day looking but at least make an attempt and than let it happen from there. I guess I think of it this way also, if I did not have a job and I stopped looking for a job would I find a job, probably not, again it would be sheer luck if someone came up and offered me the job of a lifetime, could it happen sure, does it happen in the movies sure. So one has to at least try, but also let it happen as well.
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I agree anyone can present themselves as anything they want online and keep up appearances in person for awhile. However the same is true for someone you meet locally, not on the internet and in real life and believe me I have lived through some of that. They can keep up appearances and than change as well. Meeting those who are genuine now days is near impossible whether its online or offline.
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Most sites are pay, and also now days full of fake profiles or scams and as I have mentioned they are getting worse by the day and I think everyone knows that as well. I am not sure why people have to ruin things for others. Dating sites used to be decent, you could actually message people, they responded and you may or may not connect and go on a date but there was some sort of interaction at least and hope your going to find someone. Now its like ok there are 10 profiles, which one is the real one out of the 10. I will have to check out this Dateinasia, is the site still free? Sounds like perhaps a way to connect with people and it perhaps might lead to a connection for a relationship and meeting? Rather than a strict dating site, more of a common interests type of thing which you form a connection with someone, sounds like how things used to be, you strike up a conversation and before you know it your dating, thats the old school way it used to be.
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I agree about financial security, it is important to have that, whether your the man, women or the person providing the financial security or the person the financial security is being provided to. However I do feel a difference between financial security and a bit more gold digger type and the ME, ME, ME, lavish, spend, spend, spend. To me financial security means living within your means and being respectful to whomever is proving that financial security, and if its both than you both have mutual respect. I do agree if american men were poor and foreign men were financial stable we would be seeing lots of women trying to find a foreign partner. I do somewhat agree on not caring so much about the career or job that a woman has and being more interested in whether she was a Christian, was she attractive to me, was she a good person, did she have a fun personality, did she have good morals & values, did I enjoy her company, could I make her happy, etc. I do agree with that, but I certainly have dated women with no job, no ambition to get a job, no work ethic, but again I do not care if they work at mcdonalds as long as they value that job, have that work ethic. I wish the area I am in had Christian groups, singles groups. Its just not the area for that. I to never thought about seeking someone from a long distance away or overseas. But I have known a few people from a long time ago who had met someone from overseas and they had a great relationship, not knowing them any longer, I am sure they still have a great relationship and family as they did when I knew them. So in having failed relationships it got me thinking to expanding my search, outside my area, outside my state, and than outside the country. I think I pretty much skipped to outside the country as I knew american women were just not the values and morals I was seeking and I had many people putting the thought in my head about find yourself an asian woman they are amazing women. That is the tough thing about this online dating finding genuine people, it seems its almost impossible as each day there seem to be more and more scammers, fake profiles, or profiles seeking nothing. And with new sites popping up every day its impossible to know which one to invest your money and time into as none are free. I cannot say I am dead set on finding someone from another country, I mean if I could find a great woman here in the USA that would be wonderful and much easier. I just wanna finally find someone genuine, been in a few very long term relationships and stayed much to long in them when I should of gotten out and moved on. Life is short and I don't wanna keep giving the wrong women chances and wasting my life away. Life is much fuller with someone to enjoy it with. Your idea about taking a trip sounds like an idea, a bit scary for sure. I had commented on that being a good idea before but also would be nice to have travel friends as well as just jetting off by yourself to a place you are not familiar with is certainly scary. A wing man, friends perhaps seeking the same thing I am would be nice, and I think that way would also let the nerves down and I would learn more, be able to relax more. Just like going out with friends you have a bit more confidence. Have a few women lined up to meet would also be great, problem goes back to finding genuine women on these horrible dating sites. I certainly am seeking a wife, I always wanted that, and that is why I usually always had long term relationships, but was held back from marriage with them because things were not going well in those relationships and I did not want the marry/divorce thing that many of my friends have gone thru.
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I have not been on eharmony? Seems match, eharmony they all have such bad reviews no matter where you check. So sounds like eharmony has a Philippines category, many sites either had it and removed it or do not even have it. I started to wonder why some sites had it and removed it or do not have a listing for Philippines when they have just about every other country. Thats the thing about the internet way to many places and options to meet someone, having to many options to meet someone is actually a bad thing as you have no clue which site to be on and you certainly cannot be on them all. And than of course there are the fakes, scams, etc which get worse by the day, 10-15 years ago I do not recall fake profiles being such an issue as it is now days.
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I agree its nothing new that american men are going abroad to seek spouses, they have been doing that forever. So american women are getting pissed that guys are going abroad, well perhaps they should change there attitudes and than we will seek women here. Finding a decent american woman is very difficult, our american society sure has done a great job of ruining people. So I looked this passport bros up. Here is what it says: "passport bros are American men who travel to foreign countries in hopes of testing out the international dating pool and finding love overseas. According to some of the bros, the draw of dating foreign women is that there’s a higher likelihood of finding a “traditional wife.” So what is so wrong with finding a traditional wife, that is the issue in america we have lost all those great traditions our parents, grandparents had, we have all but tossed all those traditions to the side. I have not done much research on this "passport bros" but what is wrong with an american guy trying to find a traditional wife? I mean some might be players and all, everyone is different, but just like we seem to always do in todays society we have to come up with some slang term for everything, we just can't leave things alone. I agree about not taking things for granted and being respectful and a man and gentleman and not a player. Many of these women do get taken advantage of. I am not looking to be taken advantage of or take advantage of anyone. I just want to genuinely find someone. I am aware of the Filipino OFW (Overseas Foreign Worker) program. In fact the person I had been talking with for a long time was an OFW and WOW the amount of time they work, the harsh conditions, I always felt so bad that I work M-F. I seen the pride they had in working, that is really what connected to me to that person was the strong work ethic. I respected and admired that so much. Yes the journey for those who want that american passport is not an easy one, I feel its not a fair system, but also I guess we do need laws, regulations, etc, but at the same time when you have 2 people who met and are in love, want a relationship and future and your held back by someone who has to view and decide based on your paperwork and the amount of time it takes to do that.
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Would certainly be nice to be appreciated like that just for being american, being able to walk around and people admire you, want to talk with you, come up to you, that would be a good feeling. Versus here in the USA no one cares who you are and they are rude.
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Good idea you have as there are larger cities to drive to. Just not sure I could interject myself into any of the asian cultural things for short periods of time, maybe I could like attending an event or something. Its a good idea and something I should look into what the larger cities have for any type of events, just not sure what the chances are of finding someone at those events would be, but one never knows, it might be worth a chance. Much easier than long overseas distance with visa processes. Yes my last attempt at long distance was full of road blocks and a bit painful, many factors did not help including covid and technology availability.
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Travel I could do occasionally or a few times, the whole point is to meet and connect with someone and not have to travel and start a process to actually being together. Of course some talking before hand for it to be worth traveling, some sorta connection has to be there before jaunting off to meet them. None of this is ideal, ideal would be to meet someone closer to home so you can not only talk but also meet and meet more often, you know your typical relationship where you can plan dates, but you talk on the phone during the week or something. This long distance thing does sound difficult, than the process of waiting for some government to ok your relationship so you can actually be together. Seems sorta like a dictatorship to me having to wait for some government to process papers so you can be together, and its up to them to tell you whether they are going to or not. If I find love with someone in a foreign country wouldn't it be nice to move forward at the pace I want to just like one would with a relationship in the usa, when its time to move forward no one is stopping you from moving in, marriage, etc.
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I agree about preference, perhaps many just like american guys, but yes there are always going to be those seeking for the wrong reasons, we certainly have many women here in america seeking guys for the wrong reasons. I find myself also having a preference for Asian women and certainly nothing wrong with having a preference.
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So what is "Passport Bros"
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I agree there are certainly many women in USA who are seeking to better there situation and only care about your bank account and what you can do for them, certainly dated that type in my past. I have heard that term "God Fearing Man" and I like that, I like that Philippines want a 'God Fearing Man", I like that a woman is seeking a man who is not some playboy as I am not that type, I am a loyal guy, my faith has brought me up that way to have values and morals. I like that the culture is like back in the 1950s, even know that was long before my time we all have probably heard and learned about those days from our parents, relatives, history, etc and I wish things were like they were back then. People has morals. That is was really draws me to a Philippines woman is they have those old school morals and values.
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I certainly am seeking true love. Seems very difficult to find no matter where you look. There are certainly women in the USA who are also looking to better there situation, and I am sure all over the world. I would like to find genuine love.
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That is what I have heard also that american men are considered exotic and they are attracted to american men. I have heard this about a few other countries as well that they really like american men. Yes many are seeking american men to better there situation as well, scam them, etc. But some are genuine and are attracted to american me. Just like me I guess I find myself attracted to asian women.