I agree with this. But what I would also suggest is before any appearance that includes a judge or mediator, request from your lawyer an hour of his/her time. It should be near the date of the court appearance. Get with your lawyer and lay out the case as you see it. Try to get the lawyer to "see it through your eyes." Most of these divorce lawyers (and judges) are conditioned to go through a set routine with divorce cases, and you don't want to just get caught up in the grind. You want the specific details of your case have light shone on them, so the judge sees. Your divorce lawyer has to be able to articulate this to the judge.
You probably also know if your spouse has any social media accounts. I would start looking at all those posts, as much as possible, and see if the spouse is posting things that you can print and copy and let the judge see.
I know this sounds stupid, but a friend of mine won his divorce that way when the spouse started posting how she called the cops on him to make a false allegation of abuse... It's a longshot but it deserves a look.
It might also be important for us to know the jurisdiction where this is happening, but I'm not asking for you to divulge any details that you don't want to.
Good luck.
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Divorce from non-immigrant (out of status) and financial responbsibility