TBoneTX

It's also the optimal excuse for all of his current and previous gaffes and failures!

Thrilling Wednesday report, see man: Lunch was onebag of nuked mixed vegetables, ingest we man. Took Mama T-B. to doctor, we chauffeur senior she man man. All but one elevator is out at Mama T-B.'s complex, man. Mama T-B. had to Rollator all the way to the back of the complex and then to the front, exhausted senior she man. We got her a wheelchair at the medical building, big help and only prayer man. At the complex, we used the front-office wheelchair for the circuitous route, good God man. We were highly perspirational after all this, of course didn't wear a sweatband we man. Mama T-B. made up for Tuesday with a donation*, si man. *a confirmed lead for the sale of $Many,000 in Pre-Owned Toilet Seats**, $i man **buy yours today, si man! After off-cooling at the casa, we siesta'd for a wonderful hour-plus, zzz we man. Din-din was Tuna Glop, ingest we man. Miu has not yet been quite as needy as recently, subject to change man. Thursday, we take Uncle T-B. for his post-cataract follow-up, we chauffeur senior he man man. After that, we have more administrative junk to do, Successful Business Typhoon we man. And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.

'Welp, Nothing We Can Do Now,' Sighs Secret Service After Assassin Climbs On Modestly Sloped Roof [...] "What? Oh no. Not again…" groaned Agent Kelly Crimsone, rolling her eyes as the would-be assassin scaled a mildly-sloped roof, eluding the clutches of three Secret Service members. "What do we do now, over? Where are we going, over? How are we going to get this guy, headquarters? He's on a sloped roof!" "Just get him!" came the order from the powers that be. "Wait, hold up…he's on a roof? Abort, abort, over! Do not, I repeat, DO NOT get on that roof, especially if it is in any way inclined or sloped, over!" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/welp-nothing-we-can-do-now-sighs-secret-service-after-assassin-climbs-on-modestly-sloped-roof

Secret Service Director Assures Nation She Wasn't Trying To Get Trump Killed, She's Just Extremely Incompetent WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a heartfelt address to the American people today, Director of the Secret Service Kimberly Cheatle assured the nation that she wasn't trying to get Trump assassinated, stating instead that she's just very highly incompetent. Cheatle's statement follows a host of speculations about potential foul play or intentional negligence on the part of the Secret Service, which prompted her to clarify that her failings stem from being bad at her job, not from any ill-will towards Donald Trump. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/secret-service-director-assures-nation-she-wasnt-trying-to-get-trump-killed-shes-just-bad-at-her-job

Oh No! Piece Of Ear Shot Off Trump Begins To Grow Into Second Trump BUTLER, PA — Terrifying new reports indicate that a piece of Trump's ear that had been shot off during Saturday's assassination attempt has begun growing into a second Trump. "We did not recover the missing part of Trump's ear," said Butler County Sheriff Michael Slupe. "A mistake that may have doomed us all. Now, our scientists tell us it has begun growing into a second version of Trump that will soon threaten the town." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/oh-no-piece-of-ear-shot-off-trump-begins-to-grow-into-second-trump

That Settles That: Georgia Court of Appeals Formally Sets Oral Argument on Fani Willis DQ for December We knew it wasn't likely that the Georgia election interference case filed by Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis against former President Donald Trump and others would be tried before the November election. [...] https://redstate.com/smoosieq/2024/07/16/that-settles-that-georgia-court-of-appeals-formally-sets-oral-argument-on-fani-willis-dq-for-december-n2176967

Thrilling (?) Tuesday report, see man: Today was the Many'th (2+2th) anniversary of miu's addition to the family, new miu now familial miu man. After a rough night, we were trying to awaken when Mama T-B. called at the precise moment of our birth, "I was there so I remember" senior she man. We didn't have time to clear our morning sinus issues and began coughing, no and si man. Mama T-B. began yelling at us about it, sigh man. We agreed to deliver groceries at 1 p.m., si man. Uncle T-B. later called, call senior he man we man man. He wanted to remind us of Amazon Prime Day, no mention of birthday man. Mini-B. texted about Ecu doings but mentioned nothing about birthdays or miu anniversaries, si and no man. Recycle truck failed to empty a dratted thing out of our bin, fortunately still room in there man. Aunt T-B. later called to wish us a happy birthday, gracias senior she man. Went to deliver to Mama T-B., dutiful we man. Mama T-B. didn't thank us and yelled that today was a deadline for long-requested info, delay we man. She yelled and lectured and lectured and yelled, lecture yell and yell lecture senior she man. She ordered us to out-straighten home health care for Uncle T-B., not covered by Medicare man. We left feeling rather chastened, si man. Delivered Walgreens Rx to Uncle T-B., appreciative senior he man. He asked us to buy 2 household items, agree we man. He again said nothing about anybody's birthday, no man. Breakfast/lunch/din-din was at aforementioned Chinese buffet, q.v. man. We consumed 2 plates piled high with beef/chicken & another of hard-boiled eggs, ingest we man. We then went to Walmart for Uncle T-B.'s items, dutiful we man. After servicing demanding miu and off-cooling at the casa, we siesta'd, zzz we man. Afterward, we completed Mama T-B.'s project and answered countless follow-up e-mails, drudgery man. Late at night, Cousinette T-B. texted birthday greetings, gracias man. No wishes from ex-Mrs.-T-B., no man. No wishes from Mini-B., no man. We have brushed & played with bored miu several times, more to come man. This was rather a below-average day, oh well man. No party with the rubias tonight, no sense in it man. Need to take Mama T-B. to doctor on Wednesday, dutiful we man. And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ They look just like the Keystone Kops: The DEI Secret Service in inaction [...] I do have at least some experience with the Secret Service. Here's what I learned. They are (were) well-trained, reasonably well-paid and highly motivated. While there were no restrictions on hiring by race or gender, the Secret Service was a meritocracy. What they wanted – at least for the presidential detail – were large individuals who were amazingly fit, remarkably well-schooled in the use of firearms, and willing to put their bodies between shooters and the president. When John Hinckley, Jr. attempted to assassinate President Reagan forty-three years ago, he shot Special Agent Tim McCarthy in the abdomen, hitting him as the Special Agent was turning to protect President Reagan with his body – proof that Secret Service Agents would actually become human shields, if necessary. However, today, while that credo may still be in the playbook, there are other factors now at play. [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2024/07/they_look_just_like_the_keystone_kops_the_dei_secret_service_in_inaction.html

Read this, including the comments below about the gun and ammo. Comments? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A First-Person Account Of Security Issues On The Ground In Butler, PA To the iconic question "Where were you when JFK was shot?" we can now add "Where were you when Trump got clicked?" As it happens, my wife and I were 40-50 yards from the podium in Butler, PA, and approximately 200-225 yards from the shooter. This essay records my impressions of and thoughts about events I witnessed. [...] https://www.americanthinker.com/articles/2024/07/a_first_person_account_of_security_issues_on_the_ground_in_butler_pa.html

Jonathan Turley explains the reasoning behind the now-hosed Jack Smith case in Florida. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trump wins again in court: Judge squashes DOJ overreach with special counsel Jack Smith In "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland," the Mad Hatter asks Alice, "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" It turned out that the Mad Hatter had no better idea than Alice. In her 93-page order, U.S. District Judge Aileen Cannon seemed to face the same dilemma when she asked special counsel Jack Smith why a private citizen is like a confirmed U.S. attorney. On Monday, she dismissed the criminal case against former President Donald Trump over his handling of classified documents, ruling that Smith's appointment as special counsel was unlawful. Cannon has struggled with the assertion of Attorney General Merrick Garland that he may pick private citizens to serve as special counsels and exercise greater authority than a federal prosecutor without any appointment under the Constitution or clear statutory authority. [...] https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2024/07/16/trump-classified-documents-case-judge-immunity-trial/74412068007/

I doubt that anyone can refute these good points or answer the fair questions. Comments? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Biden's Team Deliberately Kneecapped Trump’s Security To Allow An Assassination Attempt They kept the rooftop open, watched the shooter, kept Trump on the stage, and didn't do a damn thing until after he had been shot. And we're supposed to believe it was an innocent oopsie? [...] https://thefederalist.com/2024/07/16/bidens-team-deliberately-kneecapped-trumps-security-to-allow-an-assassination-attempt/

I saw some of the reporting on this. The group's leader canceled the tour and apologized profusely. Very soon, the offender apologized profusely. The two have been friends/colleagues for decades. Unsure what the long-term fallout will be.

Yes, interesting. Either the kid had none or the Feds are hiding something. I conclude that his motive was to kill Pres. Trump -- period.

Gov. Hair Gel would be a great successor to Bidementia.

And he STILL hasn't offered to resign.

Sorry, but he doesn't use e-mail.

Si, man. Gracias, si man. They claimed, "We've never done that, no man," liars man. We got them to give us a different (slighter) discount, financially savvy we man.

Vance Dons Helmet And Body Armor In Preparation To Run With Trump U.S. — Trump's newly announced running mate JD Vance prepared to campaign with the former President today by donning a Kevlar helmet and body armor. "I'm honored to have been picked to run alongside Donald Trump as a candidate for Vice President," said the young Senator from Ohio as he tightened the straps on his ballistic vest. "I will do everything in my power to survive until November 5th." Vance then dove for cover as several bullets whizzed overhead. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/vance-dons-helmet-and-body-armor-in-preparation-to-run-with-trump

JD Vance Horrified To Learn He Must Now Use Truth Social U.S. — Trump's official VP pick JD Vance was horrified today after learning he will now have to communicate with voters on Truth Social. "Listen, I'm honored to be chosen to run alongside Donald Trump, but I really wish someone had told me about this before I said 'yes,'" said a visibly shaken Vance. "Do I really have to use Truth Social now? I didn't think that was part of the deal." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/jd-vance-horrified-to-learn-he-must-now-use-truth-social

Secret Service Vows To Find Out What Went Wrong At The Trump Rally As Soon As They Figure Out Who Left Cocaine In The White House [...] Federal agents reportedly remained stumped regarding the source of the White House cocaine despite working closely with President Biden's son, Hunter, to follow the trail. "He's the cocaine expert," Harper explained. "His knowledge of blow and where it can be obtained and preferred hiding places is invaluable. We'll figure it out one of these days. Once we do, we'll totally get to the bottom of the whole Trump shooter thing. Trust us." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/secret-service-vows-to-find-out-what-went-wrong-at-the-trump-rally-as-soon-as-they-figure-out-who-left-cocaine-in-the-white-house

Biden Tells Americans That We Must Eliminate Political Violence And Also Donald Trump WASHINGTON, D.C. — As part of an effort to reduce tensions and tone down dangerous rhetoric during a heated presidential campaign season, President Joe Biden told all Americans that we must eliminate political violence and also Donald Trump. "We cannot allow this type of political violence and Donald Trump to continue to exist," Biden said in a statement to the media. "Threats of political violence, assassination attempts on presidents, and Donald J. Trump have no place in this country. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-tells-americans-that-we-must-eliminate-political-violence-and-also-donald-trump

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Secret Service Beefs Up Trump's Security With Squad Of Blind Midgets U.S. — According to sources, the United States Secret Service plans to beef up Trump's security team with a squad of blind midgets. "I have personally vetted these seeing-impaired persons of limited stature and certify them ready for deployment," Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle said in a statement. Republican leadership questioned the effectiveness of these new agents but the agency dismissed their concerns as bigoted. "They asked why they were so short and also why they kept bumping into things, and that's just not acceptable," Director Cheatle said. "They are as devoted to their duty as they are physically handicapped." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/secret-service-beefs-up-trumps-security-with-squad-of-disabled-midgets

Democrats Order Flags To Be Flown At Half-Staff As Trump Still Alive [...] Lawmakers on the left side of the political aisle admitted that it had been an emotional and difficult few days, with several prominent Democrats saying they didn't know if they would be able to continue with their normal duties after Trump sadly escaped being murdered by an assassin at a Pennsylvania campaign rally. "We're all pretty broken up," admitted Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who had trouble holding back tears. "We never envisioned a day where we would be standing here mourning Trump's lack of being assassinated… but here we are. We will get through this. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-order-flags-to-be-flown-at-half-staff-as-trump-still-alive

In 2008, I read a fascinating article in the Billings Gazette -- behind a paywall -- about famous assassinations in history, and which of the victims could have survived had they been attacked in Billings in 2008. I paid for access. It's long, and I'm confident that the excerpts reproduced below (those only about Presidential assassinations, not the others) comply with VJ's "fair use" policy. Garfield's story is ghastly. Sadly, this was shortly before Joseph Lister et al. widely publicized germ theory and the necessity of sterile medical procedures. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Famous assassinations: Who could doctors save today? Would Julius Caesar or John F. Kennedy have survived if they were attacked in Billings today? Dr. Terry Housinger, a general surgeon at the Billings Clinic, tackled the topic of famous assassinations at a meeting of the History of Medicine Club, offering his audience of medical students and doctors a chance to reflect on the evolution of trauma care. After describing the circumstances surrounding each famous assassination, Housinger offered his opinion on whether modern medicine could have saved those high-profile victims if the attack had occurred in Billings today. Here's the gist of what Housinger gleaned from the historical record: Abraham Lincoln • The circumstances: The first assassination of an American president came on the night of April 14, 1865, when Lincoln attended a performance of the comic melodrama "Our American Cousin" at Ford's Theater in Washington, D.C. As part of a conspiracy plot, John Wilkes Booth, an actor, shot the president from the rear of the presidential box, leapt to the stage and cried, "Sic semper tyrannis" ("Thus always to tyrants"), Virginia's motto. • The weapon: Booth's single shot, at a distance of less than 5 feet, came from a .44-caliber derringer, a short stubby weapon. The derringer had a medium muzzle velocity, a measure of the speed of a bullet as it leaves the barrel, of 900 feet per second. It also had a relatively low muzzle energy of 350 foot-pounds. In comparison, today's high-powered rifles get into the 3,000 range for muzzle energy. • The wound: The bullet entered from behind the left ear and penetrated deep into Lincoln's skull. • Medical attention: "At the scene, they did a form of CPR," Housinger said. Because Lincoln stopped breathing shortly after he was shot, a couple of medical students tried to do an early form of cardiopulmonary resuscitation. "CPR, the way they did it, was basically where they were pushing on his diaphragm from below and they were pulling up his arms," Housinger said. "They actually got some respirations." One of the physicians who was there kept pulling the clot out to minimize the damage caused by swelling. "Their thought at the time, maybe one of the things they learned from Civil War trauma, was they wanted to keep pressure off the brain. They would pull the clot off so he could freely bleed." Lincoln moaned frequently and moved a little bit in his upper extremities but showed few other signs of life. He was carried to a nearby house. "There was a lot of hand wringing done in the next portion of his care. About 10 hours later, he died," Housinger said. In addition to the bleeding and tissue damage from the gunshot, the injury probably caused the brain to swell severely enough to cause the brain to herniate, or bulge downward, pushing the brain stem down toward the spinal column, which can cause death by stopping the body's control of basic functions such as breathing or heartbeat. • Today's outcome: In Billings, with good neurological care, Lincoln might have survived. He probably could have been decompressed, relieving the swelling by using drugs or opening a portion of the skull to relieve pressure. The operation might have required removing a portion of the brain. If he survived, he would have been in a minimal vegetative state at best, Housinger said. James A. Garfield • The circumstances: Four months after taking office, Garfield was assassinated by a disappointed job-seeker. Garfield was the fourth president to die in office and the second to be assassinated. He was shot on July 2, 1881, as he stood in a railroad station waiting to take a train to his 25th class reunion at Williams College. The assassin, Charles J. Guiteau, stepped out of the crowd and fired two shots. • The weapon: Garfield was shot from a distance of less than 5 feet with a .44 caliber pistol. • The wound: The bullet passed within 3 to 4 inches of the president's spinal column. It broke through the 11th rib of Garfield's back on the right side, causing injuries to the liver and soft tissues. • Medical attention: Wound probing. Despite horrendous casualties during the Civil War, surgeons learned very little about trauma care from the war because there was no systematic method of evaluating the results of specific procedures. "We didn't learn diddly squat from the Civil War. People weren't of a mode to study how you could better take care of somebody who is badly injured. They just did stuff," Housinger said. Every doctor had his own ideas about treatment. "One of the things these guys all did was they wanted to probe the wound. I don't have any idea of what they thought they were going to do by probing the wound, but, by God, they did it. They stuck their fingers in it and probed for the bullet. Everybody was hung up on finding the bullet," he said. Today, a bullet is often allowed to remain in place because digging around for it can cause more damage. "They closed his wounds. That was about it," Housinger said. Garfield was tachycardic, having a very rapid heartbeat, and tachypneic, having abnormally rapid breathing. On Sept. 19, 80 days after he was shot, Garfield died of sepsis, a widespread inflammation that happens when the body's normal reaction to an infection goes into overdrive. The inflammation can cause dramatic changes in body temperature, blood pressure, breathing and heart rate, and it can spiral into multiple organ failure. Garfield had abscesses, pockets of infection, throughout his abdomen, where his body had tried to wall off the infection in an attempt to contain it. As Garfield struggled against death, he also became severely malnourished, dropping from 220 pounds to 130 pounds. "He had any number of wound probings, not just that first night, but on down the way. Everybody needed to stick their finger in," Housinger said. At the time, there were no surgical gloves or antibacterial soaps. • Today's outcome: Doctors would have been able to treat his injuries and infection and been able to offer nourishment intravenously or through tube feedings. "This was a no-brainer. It would have been an unreasonable death by today's standard," Housinger said. William McKinley • The circumstances: McKinley was six months into the start of his second term when he was shot by an assassin and Theodore Roosevelt assumed the presidency. On Sept. 5, 1901, McKinley was shaking hands with people in a receiving line at the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo, N.Y., when he was shot twice by Leon F. Czolgosz, a deranged anarchist. • The weapon: McKinley was shot at point-blank range with a .32-caliber revolver. The revolver had a muzzle velocity of 780 feet per second. The bullet had a fairly low energy of 130 foot-pounds. • The wound: The bullet hit McKinley's left upper abdomen and passed through his stomach. • Medical attention: At first, McKinley was taken to a clinic on the exposition grounds, then to a hospital in Buffalo, where they operated to close his stomach wounds. Although the surgeon had some experience with trauma, his primary doctor, an obstetrician-gynecologist, knew nothing about gunshot wounds, Housinger said. McKinley also had two other doctors, famous cronies who were friends of the exposition's director. Although they closed the holes in his stomach, they failed to débride him. After a gunshot wound, surgeons débride soft-tissue wounds, removing dead or dying tissue, metal or bone fragments and other contaminants such as pieces of clothing, hair or skin. As high-velocity projectiles penetrate the body, they cause shock waves that disrupt and destroy tissues as far as several inches from the bullet's path. Failing to débride a wound increases the risk of infection and likelihood of complications including gangrene and death. The doctors tried to look around to find the bullet, but, when McKinley's pulse became feeble, they quickly finished up the operation. In their haste, they probably missed a number of injuries, Housinger said. McKinley died nine days after the shooting, probably from sepsis and pancreatitis, an inflammation of the pancreas caused by injuries to the pancreas that the doctors overlooked. The pancreas secretes digestive enzymes and produces several important hormones that regulate blood glucose levels. McKinley also leaked digestive acids from the stomach into his abdomen and probably leaked pancreatic enzymes, which can digest the surrounding body tissue. "Throughout the whole time he was trying to get over his illness, they gave him whiskey, and they gave him cognac and more whiskey and they gave him strychnine and then they gave him digitalis and quinine and they gave him more whiskey. "That was pretty much it. I don't know where people came up with the idea this was going to help him. There was absolutely no science here, whatsoever, that I could see," Housinger said. • Today's outcome: "We would have had him out of the hospital in a week, 10 days max," Housinger said. Surgeons would have treated his wound, recognized which organs were injured and débrided his abdomen and pancreas. John F. Kennedy • The circumstances: Kennedy, the youngest man ever to be elected president, was barely past his first 1,000 days in office when he was shot as he rode in an open limousine during a motorcade through Dallas on Nov. 22, 1963. The limousine raced to the nearby Parkland Hospital. Kennedy never regained consciousness, and within two hours of his death Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson was sworn in as the 36th president. Lee Harvey Oswald, who was charged with the murder, was shot two days later by Jack Ruby, a Dallas nightclub owner. • The weapon: The 6.5-mm rifle had a muzzle velocity of 2,200 feet per second and energy of 2,800 foot-pounds. Kennedy was shot at a distance of about 200 yards. • The wound: One shot entered the back of JFK's head. Another shot passed through his larynx. • Medical attention: He arrived at Parkland Hospital after a 15-minute limousine ride. At the time, the program of Advanced Trauma Life Support training for emergency resuscitation and stabilization of seriously injured or ill patients did not exist. But Kennedy was given full ATLS-style trauma care. The ATLS training program, developed by the American College of Surgeons, simplified and standardized the treatment approach to trauma patients. The premise of ATLS is to treat the greatest threat to life first. The memory aid, or mnemonic, ABCDE, sets the order of handling injuries. A stands for airway; B for breathing; C for circulation and bleeding control; D for disability or a neurological evaluation of brain function; and E for exposure and environment, meaning the patient is safe from environmental hazards. Doctors intubated Kennedy through the wound the bullet had caused in his trachea by placing a tube into the trachea to protect his airway and provide a means for mechanical ventilation. There was no heart or respiratory activity. • Today's outcome: "The bullet tore his skull apart completely," Housinger said, noting that JFK would have no chance of surviving today. https://billingsgazette.com/lifestyles/famous-assassinations-who-could-doctors-save-today/article_978d85a3-6f92-5b79-84dc-a3389e7d2b44.html

Here's a fascinating must-read by the author of "Rating America's Presidents," the only book in which presidents are rated on the basis of how good they were for America. (I finally ordered that book and absolutely couldn't put it down.) This article gives some details of history that few of us might know. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Presidential Assassinations Have Always Aided the Democrats There have been four assassinations of presidents in American history, and every one of them has aided the Democrats. This is not to say that the Democrat party engineered the assassinations for its own advantage, but nevertheless, it's true: each time a president has been killed, the Democrats were the beneficiaries. If Donald Trump had been murdered on Saturday evening, it would not have been the killing of a sitting president, but once again, the left would have reaped the benefits. [...] https://pjmedia.com/robert-spencer/2024/07/15/presidential-assassinations-have-always-aided-the-democrats-n4930718