TBoneTX

'Don't Despair,' Kamala Tells Celebrating Nation [...] While Americans of all ages, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds continued to joyously celebrate Trump's return to power, Harris pleaded with everyone not to give in to any feelings of sorrow and heartbreak. "Please, don't — please — do not despair — I'm speaking!" Harris shouted above the celebratory crowd in a speech broadcast to tens of millions of elated Americans. "We are sad today. And sad is not happy. Sad is, in fact, the opposite of happy. And happy is what we wish we were right now. Happy is good. And the opposite of good is bad, which rhymes with sad, which is what we are here in this current time." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/dont-despair-kamala-tells-celebrating-nation

Trump Is Now President-Elect. Here Are 12 Things That Happen Next Against the will of Liz Cheney, Jennifer Lopez, and Democracy itself, Donald Trump has been elected the 47th President of the United States. It's a scary and confusing time for everyone. To help you be prepared, here are twelve things you should expect to happen over the next few months: [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-is-now-president-elect-here-are-the-9-things-that-happen-next

Kamala Calls For Peaceful Transfer Of Power To Adolf Hitler [...] "It's my responsibility to make sure this tyrannical despot assumes power," Harris told the crowd of supporters after officially conceding the race. "Though he will end freedom itself in this country, imprison anyone who disagrees with him, systematically murder all women, and go door to door kicking everyone's dogs, I promise to make sure there is a peaceful transition of power." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/kamala-calls-for-peaceful-transfer-of-power-to-adolf-hitler

Trump Defeats Kamala, Hollywood, News Media, Deep State, FBI, Universities, DOJ, Political Experts, Science, Medical Community, All Of Diddy's Homies U.S. — The entire world was still abuzz this morning following the results of the U.S. presidential election, as President-Elect Donald Trump defeated Kamala Harris, Hollywood, the news media, the Deep State, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, universities across the country, the Department of Justice, political experts, science, the medical community, and all of Diddy's homies. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-defeats-kamala-hollywood-news-media-deep-state-fbi-universities-doj-political-experts-science-medical-community-all-of-diddys-homies

Democrats Call For Abolishing Popular Vote WASHINGTON D.C. - In the wake of their crushing defeat in the 2024 presidential election, Democrats have begun to call for abolishing the popular vote. "Look, it's 2024 and I think it's time to let go of this antiquated and undemocratic idea of a ‘popular vote,'" said U.S. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/democrats-call-for-abolishing-popular-vote

Both Candidates Just Glad They Don't Have To Visit Pennsylvania Anymore SCRANTON, PA — With the election finally over, the Presidential candidates finally found common ground in their joy over not having to visit Pennsylvania ever again. Both Donald Trump and Kamala Harris expressed gratitude for all those who made never having to visit Pennsylvania possible. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/both-candidates-just-glad-they-dont-have-to-visit-pennsylvania-anymore

Gender Gap: Woman Only Gets 78% Of The Vote Man Gets U.S. — The gender gap was once again proven to be real as a woman was only awarded 78% of the vote that a man got. "There are gender gaps in pay, sports, and — now we know for certain — in politics," said Dr. Rip Scranton, a professor of gender studies and statistics at Harvard University. "What kind of sad world do we live in where a woman can only receive 78% of the votes that a man gets?" Pundits offered a variety of explanations for the cold, hard reality of the gender gap. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/gender-gap-woman-only-gets-78-the-vote-man-gets

Trump Wins 3rd Election In A Row U.S. — The votes are in. The people have spoken. Donald J. Trump, the 45th President of the United States, has just won his third presidential election in a row. While Electoral College votes are still yet to be ratified, Trump's victory marks an achievement attained by only two predecessors in American history: Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Gladys O'Brian, the 235th head of the Nappanee, Indiana Women's Commissioner Club. "We did it, and [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-wins-3rd-election-in-a-row

Trump Beats Another Woman https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-beats-another-woman

America Unburdens Itself From What Has Been U.S. — Donald Trump has defeated Kamala Harris to become the next president of the United States, proving once and for all that Americans are ready to unburden themselves from what has been. Sources say the unburdening could lead to unprecedented levels of imagining what can be. "Kamala was a huge burden, but now it's time for us to be unburdened, more unburdened than ever before," Donald Trump said as [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/america-unburdens-itself-from-what-has-been

Biden Calls Trump To Concede The Election U.S. — With the voting results now pointing towards a seemingly inevitable Trump victory, President Biden has graciously called to concede the election. "I gave it my all. I fought to the bitter end," said President Biden. "You've got to admit when you're beaten, and man do I love chocolate chips beaten into my ice cream. Whoa, baby." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-calls-trump-to-concede

Joy Reid Explodes Live On Air U.S. — Joy Reid is dead at the age of 55. The MSNBC anchor, host of The ReidOut, exploded live on-air shortly after reporting on Trump's stellar performance in the 2024 presidential election. "I don't understand — what is happening? HOW IS THIS HAPPENING?" Reid said just before her head exploded. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/joy-reid-explodes-live-on-air

Election Officials Assure Everybody Things Are Looking Good And You Can Go To Sleep And They'll Take Care Of The Rest Of The Counting Overnight [...] "We thank you for your interest in our democratic processes, but you can all go to sleep now," said Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson. "We have everything under control. You should also have a stiff drink or maybe a strong sedative so you can sleep restfully until we can finish doing all the things we need to do to save democracy and stuff. We'll take it from here." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/election-officials-assure-everybody-things-are-looking-good-and-you-can-go-to-sleep-and-theyll-take-care-of-the-rest-of-the-counting-overnight

Experts Confirm That Constantly Refreshing Election Map Will Increase Probability Your Side Wins U.S. — According to several election experts, parking in front of a computer on election night to constantly refresh the election map is one of the best ways to ensure your preferred candidate wins the election. "This is great news," said local election enthusiast Mortimer Smith. "I've been on CNN's website all night clicking 'refresh' on the election map so I don't miss a single change in the results, and it's [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/experts-confirm-that-constantly-refreshing-election-map-will-help-your-side-win

Report: Kamala Already Switching to Box Wine U.S. — With the polls closed for over an hour now and the tension escalating, Vice President Kamala Harris decided it was time to go ahead and switch to box wine. "I don't know about Georgia, but my ol' pal Franzia is going for Kamala," said Harris, tapping the box. "Hoo-boy, how long have the polls been closed, an hour and a half? Let's float this puppy." According to sources, the Harris campaign has commandeered hundreds of high-dollar wine bottles in preparation for the evening, but Harris has insisted on the three-dollar cabernet. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/report-kamala-already-switching-to-box-wine

STOLEN VALOR: Man Wears 'I Voted' Sticker He Bought on Amazon ROCKFORD, MI — Several sources have come forward to accuse local man Bryce Harrison of stolen valor after the 54-year-old appeared in public wearing an "I Voted" sticker that he had purchased on Amazon. According to allegations, Harrison is wearing the badge of an upright citizen despite the fact that the uncivic loser has not been within 3 miles of a voting booth this entire election season and used his absentee mail-in ballot to light a fire in his livingroom fireplace a few weeks ago. "It's like, bro, there are [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/stolen-valor-man-wears-i-voted-sticker-he-bought-on-amazon

Amish Man Falls Through Trap Door Directly To Hell After Using Electronic Voting Machine LANCASTER COUNTY, PA — Tragedy struck a local voting precinct today, as an Amish man reportedly fell through a trap door directly to Hell after using an electronic voting machine. Witnesses said that the man, 44-year-old Jedidiah Miller, was excited to vote for the first time in his life but abruptly disappeared from their sight when a hidden trap door suddenly opened under his feet immediately after he touched the button on the machine's touchscreen. "He jist stepped into the votin' booth, an' then — whoosh — he were gone," said Jedidiah's brother Amos Miller. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/amish-man-falls-through-trap-door-directly-to-hell-after-using-electronic-voting-machine

Election Officials Unveil Special New Ballot Box For Libertarians U.S. — Just in time for Election Day, officials unveiled a brand-new ballot box for Libertarians to use which, they say, will improve the efficiency of the counting process. "These new ballot boxes will expedite all votes for libertarian candidates, moving them straight to the garbage dump where they belong so they don't slow down the voting process," said Director of the Election Assistance Committee Jennifer Counter. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/election-officials-unveil-special-new-ballot-box-for-libertarians

Glorious opinion. Comments? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We Won and We Need to Act Like It Breathe deeply and savor the musky scent of broken leftist dreams. Mmmmmmm. Smells like freedom! Now, we must get busy pummeling our enemies. Some silly people will say that you shouldn't kick an opponent when he's down. That's actually the best time to kick him. This is no time to go wobbly. We beat the left decisively and completely. Their humiliation is complete. They thought they had us at their feet and at their mercy. They thought they could throw our avatar in jail and thereby disenfranchise and silence us. They thought they were going to be in power forever and rule over us as if we were serfs and they were feudal lords, except feudal lords were actually kind of butch and had swords and stuff and didn't go around crying because someone used the wrong pronoun to describe them. That America dodged a bullet is beyond debate. Ironically, [...] https://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2024/11/07/we-won-and-we-need-to-act-like-it-n2647394

2024's Biggest Loser Is The Corporate Media Industrial Complex In the early hours of Wednesday morning, legacy news networks were already sliding toward 2016 levels of melting down about the increasingly definite prospect of a presidential victory by Donald J. Trump. For them, Harris' stinging defeat is personal — because it's just as much a defeat for them as it is for her. The corporate media industrial complex has spent Donald Trump's entire political career trying to destroy him. Hand-in-hand with triple-letter government agencies and Democrats, they ran a hoax painting Trump as a Russian stooge based on ridiculous rumors commissioned by his opponent's campaign in 2016. They continued to spread the lie for the duration of his presidency, awarding each other Pulitzers for it. And they've only ramped up their efforts since then. The problem they're reckoning with tonight is this: those efforts didn't work. They're no longer able to control Americans by controlling their information intake, because [...] https://thefederalist.com/2024/11/06/2024s-biggest-loser-is-the-corporate-media-industrial-complex/

Jonathan Turley. Sounds reasonable, huh? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~' Donald Trump just won the greatest jury verdict in American history Nearly two years ago, I wrote that Democratic prosecutors' lawfare campaign against Donald Trump would make the 2024 election the single largest jury decision in history. Now that the verdict is in, the question is whether prosecutors will continue their unrelenting campaign against the president-elect and his companies. The answer is [...] https://thehill.com/opinion/campaign/4976533-trump-prosecutions-lawfare-end/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/487866572116321894/

She did cackle during her concession.

Jack Smith is toast, and he knows it. We know it. We also know the sole reason why his suits were filed in the first place. We saw through it. Take a long walk off a short pier, Jackie boy.

I'm really surprised at the lack of violence. Maybe the news networks (I watched ABC) were mainly reporting facts, not their opinions. I was amazed at how objective the ABC talker-panels were during the night.