TBoneTX

Historic: Kamala Harris Becomes First Black Woman To Destroy World Economy U.S. — Experts predicted that today would go down as a historic day, as Kamala Harris became the first black woman to destroy the world economy. The achievement was the first of its kind, with members of the media and prominent political leaders all hailing it as an impressive step forward in the pursuit of equality and the advancement of women of color. "It's a day for the history books, folks," said President Joe Biden. "Not only is Kamala the first… the first… black… the first black… president of the… president, but she is now [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/historic-kamala-harris-becomes-first-black-woman-to-destroy-world-economy

IDF kills Hamas battalion commander, Jaber Aziz, while hiding in Gaza school The IDF struck Hamas terrorist Jaber Aziz, Commander of Hamas's Al-Furqan Battalion, and several other terrorists who were operating in a Hamas command and control center that was embedded within the "Hassan Salame" and "Nasser" schools in Gaza City on Sunday, the IDF reported Monday evening. [...] https://www.jpost.com/breaking-news/article-813404

NEW: UN Probe Shows Nine UNRWA Employees Took Part in October 7 Massacre Oopsie! Months after Israel accused the United Nations relief agency in Gaza of participating in the October 7 atrocities that touched off a war, the UN has finally admitted that at least nine of its employees "may have been involved." [...] https://hotair.com/ed-morrissey/2024/08/05/un-nine-umrwa-employees-took-part-in-october-7-massacre-n3792731

Democrats and their news media don't even try to hide what they think of you [...] Democrats and their media machine are not even trying to hide what they think of you. If you believe in the traditional family, you are weird. If you go to work each day in a machine shop, on a ranch, on a farm or in a restaurant, you are weird. If you live in a small town in Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania or West Virginia, you're weird. If you think drag queens should do their thing in private and not in our public parks, if you think children should be taught how to read, write and count rather than how to engage in homosexuality, and if you think women should not have to endure having men in their locker rooms, you're weird. [...] https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2024/aug/4/democrats-and-their-news-media-dont-even-try-to-hi/

Hopefully, Kommie's downfall. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Biden's Immigration Obsession Immigration ranks as one of the top three issues affecting voter opinion (Biden's age was number 1, immigration number 2, and inflation/economy in third place.) There's little more Biden can do about number 1, and little he seems to want to do about number 3, but on immigration still-President Joe will leave quite a record for Vice President Kamala Harris to drag into November. The problem is that Biden has been obsessed with immigration. He is obsessed with finding new ways to bring more migrants to the U.S.—some of his tricks resulted in tens of thousands of people entering, others just a few hundred. The numbers seemed to matter less than the process. Such is obsession. Harris seems not to share his zeal, but inherits it as a legacy (and an electoral problem) just the same. [...] https://www.theamericanconservative.com/bidens-immigration-obsession/

Bidementia & Kommie are eviscerated. It has always irked me how they consistently report glowing job-numbers and invariably revise them downward. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fact Check: Lousy Jobs Report Brings Out The Worst In Biden-Harris Shortly after Friday's anemic jobs report came out, the stock market tumbled, recession fears rose, and the Biden-Harris administration issued another Pollyannish report about how great the economy is doing – this time with bigger and bolder lies. Not only did just 114,000 jobs get created in July, which was well below economists' expectations, but the jobless rate went up for the fourth consecutive month to 4.3% as 352,000 joined the unemployment lines. That's not exactly "Morning in America." It gets worse. The Bureau of Labor Statistics also admitted that it had overestimated the job gains in both May and June by a total of 29,000. This continues a nearly unbroken and highly suspicious trend that has resulted in the BLS claiming big job gains each month – which garnered great press for Biden-Harris – then quietly cutting those numbers in subsequent months, often by substantial amounts. So far this year, 279,000 have disappeared. [...] https://issuesinsights.com/2024/08/05/lousy-jobs-report-brings-out-the-worst-in-biden-harris/

They ought to revive the codpiece. It could serve as an extra pocket, not only for its main occupant but for loose change, bus tokens, and similar.

The respondents seem to be focusing on the medical aspects precisely because the form, even if expedited, runs a highly uncertain chance of approval. Even expedite requests can take many months. Meanwhile, the medical risk to your wife may increase over that time. Don't count on USCIS to come through for you.

Two gentlemen are pissing into a trough urinal at Kennedy Airport in New York. One man says to the other, "Are you from Chicago?" The other man exclaims, "Yeah; how did you know that?" They continue pissing. The first man says, "And you belong to Congregation Beth El?" The second man exclaims, "Why, yeah -- how did you know that?" They continue pissing. The first man says, "And Rabbi Yablonovitz is the mohel there?" The second man exclaims, "Why, yes -- how did you know that?!" The first man answers, "Because he always cuts on a slant, and you're pissing on my shoe!"

Someone certainly needs to pay for this outrage.

A codpiece!

Thrilling Monday report, see man: Ex-Mrs.-T-B. and Mini-B. returned on time and uneventfully from Ecu, return wee and ex-she man man. The Rojo retrieved them at o'dark-Many, one good use for Rojos man. We did not leave the casa today, no man. Spent morning making calls on behalf of Uncle T-B. and some on our self-behalf, call we man. Lunch was onebag of nuked mixed vegetables, ingest and diet we man. An attempted siesta failed, sigh and no zzz for we man. Miu insisted on miu-lunch and promptly barfed it on a doormat and the (tile) floor, up-clean barf we man. Miu seemed interested in re-eating the barf, "if it was good once, then..." man. Casa electric program up for renewal, that time man. After our multiple calls to old company over time, no one from Retention ever called us back, no man. We found a new co. with similar or better rates, Many-year ([2+1]-year) sign-up by we man. Let the old co. $pend buck$ to recruit new customers in our stead, bye man. Din-din was Tuna Glop, ingest and diet we man. We pretty much off-cleaned our kitchen counter, almost all stuff out of place man. We half-off-cleaned our kitchen table, too many papers man. We did organize our fast-food coupons, as though we'll ever use them if we still diet, man. We are not going to achieve the casa-cleaning that we'd envisioned, no man. We are going to miss our lose-weighting goal despite self-sacrifice, man. At least we are Many pounds less than we were, oh well man. We are being driven bananas by fruit flies, probably attracted to our bananas or peels man. A couple are even upstairs in our office where no banana has been ingested, man. After Uncle T-B.'s Tuesday doc caucus, we might take him for an early birthday lunch, consider we man. Of course, he can barely use his walker and has resorted to his electric scooter, might quash plans man. We are trying to remain circumspect about this blah day, circumspect we man. And that was/is our thrilling Monday, report we man.

In theory, si mam ma'am, but he takes non-Rx stuff, too, and his Rx meds sometimes change, si and sigh man. And packs might confuse him even more, sigh man. Furthermore, his Walgreens is so incompetent that they can't find either butt-cheek with both hands plus outside help, si and man. Mama T-B. has a lead on a girl who comes in to do pills for someone else, viable possibility man. We shall discuss this at Uncle T-B.'s doc's office on Tuesday, si man.

DNA Test Reveals Kamala Harris Actually 98% Vodka U.S. — In order to put any questions about her ethnic background to rest, Vice President Kamala Harris took a DNA test which ultimately revealed that she is almost entirely composed of vodka. "Essentially, Harris has just a little bit of Jamaican and Indian DNA swimming around in an ocean of Tito's," explain geneticist Dr. John Stalks. "There's also just tiny bit of tonic water to round it all out." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/dna-test-reveals-kamala-harris-actually-98-vodka

This article explains things clearly, and it appears that the ACLU -- much like the blind squirrel stumbling upon an acorn -- actually got one right. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Court Stops NYC Mayor's Efforts to Block Migrant Buses As you will recall, the Governor of Texas has been loading up busloads of illegal migrants in his state and shipping them out to blue cities around the country, with a particular emphasis on New York. That flow of buses has slowed down a bit this summer, but not enough to satisfy Mayor Eric Adams of the Big Apple. He wanted to stop the bus shipments entirely. Being unable to find a way to stop Governor Greg Abbott from sending them, Adams decided to take the bus companies to court, seeking to either force them to go elsewhere or to pay huge fees to cover the cost of caring for the migrants. [...] https://hotair.com/jazz-shaw/2024/08/04/court-stops-nyc-mayors-efforts-to-block-migrant-buses-n3792668

Well, then... Cali can lose billions in tax revenue after Chevron et al. leave. Over and over, Cali politicians truly step on their own neckties.

Removed by YouTube, so it was probably very pointed and relevant.

Thrilling Sunday-on-Monday report, see man: Groceried for ex-Mrs.-T-B. at Mexican supermarket, always enjoy that place man. Guy at butcher counter actually spoke English, first time ever man. Found all but one minor item there, we man but ultimately no problem see below man. Took stuff to ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa, refrigerated items man. The Rojo and daughters and small dog named Lucy were there, surprise man. The Rojo was hosing out ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s leaf-clogged gutters, always a problem there man. He and we had a pleasant conversation about his trip to Ecu and other stuff, converse man. Right then, ex-Mrs.-T-B. video-called in from Ecu hotel pool, crowded conversation man. We told her that we and the Rojo were in a jealous battle to the death over her, ha ha man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. is probably the only chica who had both an ex- and future husband helping simultaneously in her absence, call the newspapers man. Breakfast/lunch (at 2 p.m.) was 2 dying bananas, sliced and drenched in pancake syrup, ingest we man. We can't stand those stupid fruit flies (?) now infesting our casa, how to get rid of them man. Neighbor came to help us replace door peepholes, drilling required man. New ones are far clearer and slightly larger than old ones, definite improvement man. Major sawdust mess now needs up-cleaning, casa a disaster man. Took >half-hour call from Mama T-B., who was fuming about Uncle T-B., senior she and we man. Finally took a shower for the day, nearly din-din time man. Din-din was Modified Tuna Glop, ingest and diet we man. Began laundry, 2 loads today man. Miu highly needy and interactive, Treat Me Lunch Me Brush Me Play With Me Daddy man. Realized that we had 2 expiring supermarket coupons, better act today we man. This gave us the excuse to also get ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s missing item, opportunity knocks man. We also found Many canned goods in the clearance bins, financially savvy we man. Delivered stuff to ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s casa, our part* done man. *Next time, we (1) won't volunteer and (2) will say, "Call the Rojo," si and man. Mama T-B. is right that sometimes we act like ex-she man is still married to us, man. Subdued laundry and dished the warsher, domestic we man. We did not get to the further casa-cleaning that we'd envisioned, doggone it man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. and Mini-B. are, at this writing, taking off from Quito, one minute early man. Projected arrival is at o'dark-Many, ungodly hour for the Rojo man. We remember retrieving them after Mini-B.'s first Ecu visit, Many (2+1)-year-old wee man man. He was sleepy but smiled when he saw us and ran to us, excited wee man man. We lifted him up in the air and said, "Wheeeee!" joyous Two Guys man. We miss those days, si and sigh man. Mini-B.'s skool schedule looks logical, no schizoid classroom patterns to run to/from man. Most of his teechurs are exceptionally experienced, seniority man. One even has a doctorate, holy mackerel man. First day of skool is Thursday, can never out-figure why they start then man. On Monday, must immediately call Uncle T-B.'s various doctors, remedy hosed situation man. Outcomes therefrom will determine the rest of our day/week, man. At least Uncle T-B. has apparently been taking his pills, great BP readings man. And that was/is our thrilling Sunday, report we man.

You're in luck! Your thread is moved to the Middle East/North Africa regional forum. Ask your country-specific questions in this thread, and folks will come by to help you.

Strings of recent successes have validated the worth* of our jokes. *that is, if correlation = causation It's Sunday, so here now is our Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke: ===================================================== THIS IS WHY WE LOVE LAWYERS A Mafia Godfather learned that his bookkeeper had cheated him out of $10 million. His bookkeeper was deaf -- the reason that he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that he would hear nothing and would never be able to testify against the Godfather in court. When the Godfather confronted the bookkeeper about the missing $10 million, the bookkeeper called his lawyer, who knew sign language. The Godfather told the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asked the bookkeeper where the money was. The bookkeeper signed back, "I don't know what you're talking about." The lawyer told the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulled out a pistol, put it to the bookkeeper's head, and said, "Ask him again. Say to him that if he doesn't tell me, I'll kill him!" The lawyer signed to the bookkeeper, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him." The bookkeeper trembled and signed back, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown suitcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house!" The Godfather asked the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replied, "He says that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"

Zing! ~~~~~~~ ‘Trump Is Scared To Debate!' Says Party Whose Last Candidate Had To Quit Politics After Debate WASHINGTON, DC — Democrats have boldly declared President Trump to be scared of debating, just a month after their last candidate was forced to quit politics forever after a debate with Trump. "After our candidate called off the second debate and quit the campaign entirely, now Donald Trump wants to negotiate a new debate with our new candidate. What a chicken!" said Democratic strategist Ben Marlow. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-is-scared-to-debate-says-party-whose-last-candidate-had-to-quit-politics-after-debate

Kamala Bravely Fields Hard-Hitting Questions From Reporters About Where She Got That Adorable Blouse WASHINGTON, DC — Vice President Kamala Harris stood strong under extraordinary pressure from the mainstream media in a recent press conference where she was peppered with hard-hitting questions such as "Ms. Harris, where did you get that adorable blouse?" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/kamala-bravely-fields-hard-hitting-questions-from-reporters-about-where-she-got-that-adorable-blouse

This actually sounds feasible. What are your thoughts? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kamala Harris Just Handed Donald Trump a Golden Opportunity Regarding the Debates As RedState reported, Donald Trump challenged Kamala Harris to a debate on Fox News, and it didn't take long for her to scoff at the idea. That has now handed the former president a golden opportunity. The controversy at play centers on a previously scheduled debate on ABC News. That was unilaterally set up by Joe Biden back when he was in the race. Trump, recognizing his opponent's supreme weakness, accepted the lopsided terms when the dare to show up was made. With Biden having dropped out of the race, logic would dictate that debate agreement no longer exists. Harris doesn't agree, and with the help of the press, she's been caterwauling about how Trump is scared to show up to a debate she never negotiated. Just like the Democratic Party nomination, the vice president once again wants to have everything handed to her on a silver platter with no discussion involved. To this point, Trump has chosen to not play along. Should he, though? Because I think there's a chance here to upstage Harris in a way that leaves her completely flat-footed. [...] https://redstate.com/bonchie/2024/08/03/kamala-harris-just-handed-donald-trump-a-golden-opportunity-regarding-the-debates-n2177711

These people are shamelessly hypocritical. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Josh Shapiro Doesn't Want You To Know This About Him It seems inevitable that Gov. Josh Shapiro (D-Pa.) is going to be chosen as Kamala Harris's running mate. Assuming this is correct, the goal of selecting Shapiro is to put Pennsylvania back in play for the Democratic ticket—if not completely out of play for Donald Trump. But, Shapiro's Jewish heritage and pro-Israel positions are likely to cause a real problem with the far left. Shapiro is one of the only candidates that is outwardly auditioning to be Kamala's running mate, and sadly, he's already trying to memory-hole his support of Israel. [...] https://pjmedia.com/matt-margolis/2024/08/03/josh-shapiro-doesnt-want-you-to-know-this-about-himself-n4931311

San Francisco Begins Offering Bus Tickets Out of Town to Homeless People San Francisco Mayor London Breed is having city workers and police who are conducting sweeps to get the homeless out of their tent encampments offer bus tickets out of town instead of a shelter bed. It's just the latest signal from Breed that times have changed in San Francisco and a real attempt is being made to address the crisis of homelessness. [...] https://pjmedia.com/rick-moran/2024/08/03/san-francisco-begins-offering-bus-tickets-out-of-town-to-homeless-people-n4931322