TBoneTX

Is it possible that we've had no posts in this thread, other than jokes, for a full week? --- It is Wednesday, and time for our Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke (I like the first three): ============================================================== SEEN ON TWITTER (At the supermarket) ME: Hey, are these carrots genetically modified? CLERK: Why you ask? CARROT: Yeah, why you ask? My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard. WIFE [handing me crying baby]: Will you please change him? ME: OK. [drives to hospital] ME: Hi! Yes, my baby is crying; can I get a new one? ME [licking lips in anticipation]: I'm nervous. I've never done a bungee-jump before. INSTRUCTOR: Don't lick my lips again. THERAPIST: What would you say to your dad if he were alive today? ME: Sorry for cremating you. I honestly thought you were dead. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no -- these are just gardening facts. My wife said I need to grow up. I was speechless. It's hard to say anything when you have 45 gummy bears in your mouth. I love how music can take you to another place. For example, Justin Bieber is playing in this café, so now I'm going to a different café. I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office. My ex just sneezed and I accidentally said, "Bless you." Now she's just staring into the bushes, confused who said that. If I got a dollar for every time I think about you, I'd probably start thinking about you. I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, that isn't allowed if the baby is yours. Capitalization can really change a sentence. Example: I love to eat candy. I love to eat capitalization. My wife just opened my car door for me. Would have been a nice gesture had we not been going 70 mph. ME [nervous giggle]: Goodbyes are so awkward. Like, do we just shake hands, hug, kiss, or what? DRIVE-THRU GUY: Please just take your food, sir. "Hi, I'm Dave and I'm an alcoholic. I'll be your captain today. Our flight time into Phoenix will be 3 hours and..."

Thread is shifted from the main K-1 forum to the Case Progress subforum. What a great feeling and major relief!

BREAKING: Israel Rescues Another Hostage from Gaza Tunnels Score another win for the IDF. In a "complex operation" earlier today, Israeli forces liberated an Arab Israeli civilian that Hamas has held hostage since the October 7 massacres. This time they had to go underground in Rafah to get him [...] https://hotair.com/ed-morrissey/2024/08/27/breaking-israel-rescues-another-hostage-from-gaza-tunnel-n3793710

I agree that the first question should be, "Why are you not doing this interview on your own?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kamala Harris Has Agreed to a Joint Interview on CNN (Bringing Her Dad to Her Job Interview) [...] CNN revealed that Harris has finally agreed to do her first interview with their network, only it won't be just Harris it will be a joint interview featuring Harris and Walz. After 37 days as the candidate, Harris is giving a joint interview. Could it be any more clear that Harris and her team don't believe she's up to standing on her own? She needs Walz there as a backup in case she goes off the rails. [...] https://hotair.com/john-s-2/2024/08/27/kamala-harris-has-agreed-to-a-joint-interview-on-cnn-n3793747

Scintillating Tuesday repartee, yawn man. ----- Thrilling Tuesday report, see man: Took Mama T-B. to doc, stupidly long walk man. Got yelled at only a little, worrisome senior she man behavior man. After Mama T-B., went to Costco for one item, halfway there man. Returned with 2 items, good self-restraint we man. Lunch was the footlong Costco hot dog + (Diet) Pepsi, ingest we man. Made it to casa just as pre-monsoon sprinkling began, How Dry We Almost Weren't man. We kept awakening during an otherwise-uninterrupted siesta, we man. Retrieved Mini-B. from late Band practice, retrieve we man wee man man. Din-din was beef kabobs, loaded potato skins, and root beer, ingest Two Guys man. Movie night was more Everybody Hates Chris episodes, watch Two Guys man. Many (2+2) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man. Found missing hoamwurk assignment for online completion, displeased wee man man. Trying to get Mini-B. embedded on time, perpetual struggle man. Party with the rubias tonight, cavort we man. After-skool basketball for Mini-B. on Wednesday, chauffeur we man wee man man. And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

Thanks for returning to report this. Good luck toward a positive resolution.

I asked a CBP agent about this once, and he said to keep them in the original prescription bottles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9 Weird Things Tim Walz Has Lied About Much has been made about Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Walz seemingly playing fast and loose with the truth, but you likely haven't even heard about some of the more bizarre things he has lied about. The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of completely unnecessary lies told by Tim Walz: [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/9-weird-things-tim-walz-has-lied-about

UK Prime Minister Recommends Citizens Avoid Stabbings By Submitting To The Holy Koran And Acknowledging Muhammad As The One True Prophet Of Allah, Peace Be Upon Him LONDON — In an official response to the recent unrest in Great Britain, UK Prime Minister Kier Starmer has advised British citizens to avoid getting stabbed by just submitting to the Holy Koran and acknowledging Mohammed as the One True Prophet of Allah, peace be upon him. In his address to the great British public, Starmer noted that it "really isn't that hard" to not get stabbed, always providing that "one is a good Allah-fearing man and not an infidel." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/uk-prime-minister-recommends-citizens-avoid-stabbings-by-submitting-to-the-holy-koran-and-acknowledging-mohammed-as-the-one-true-prophet-of-allah-peace-be-upon-him

Reporter Who Asked Kamala A Question Charged With Hate Crime WASHINGTON, D.C. — The presidential race took a sobering turn this morning, as a reporter who asked Vice President Kamala Harris a question was arrested and charged with committing a hate crime. The incident occurred during a brief campaign stop in which Harris and her running mate, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz, visited a local deli that had been evacuated and repopulated with fake employees and campaign staff posing as customers. A stunned silence spread throughout the shop after a reporter from the press pool traveling with the Harris campaign asked her a question. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/reporter-who-asked-kamala-a-question-charged-with-hate-crime

Attorney General Reminds Americans That Questioning The 2024 Election Is Illegal Unless Trump Wins WASHINGTON, D.C. — Attorney General Merrick Garland responded to questions about election integrity and the peaceful transfer of power Friday by reminding everyone that questioning the results of a lawful election is illegal — unless Trump wins. "I think our prosecutions have made it clear what we think about people who try to interfere with the peaceful transfer of power, which is an essential and fundamental part of our democracy," Garland said, threatening everyone in the room. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/attorney-general-reminds-americans-that-contesting-election-is-illegal-unless-trump-wins

Yee-HAAAAA! Yee-HAAAAA!

This interesting article lays out intended foreign policy in readable fashion. We're still waiting for Kommie's. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trump and Vance Explain How They Will Handle a 'World on Fire' at North Carolina Rally Trump and Vance's speeches at Asheboro contrast Trump's strong mastery of the global threats facing this nation and Harris's profound national security inexperience and incompetence. [...] https://amgreatness.com/2024/08/23/trump-and-vance-explain-how-they-will-handle-a-world-on-fire-at-north-carolina-rally/

The Hunt for Yahya Sinwar (Is He Wearing Dresses Now?) The hunt for the mastermind of the Oct. 7 attack on Israel, Yahya Sinwar, continues. Yesterday we learned more about how that has been going, including one close call when it appears the IDF missed Sinwar by days. In the early days of the war Sinwar used cell phones and satellite phones to communicate. The US and Israel were able to intercept those and listen in to some of his calls, though they were not able to identify his precise location. More recently, Sinwar has completely stopped using any electronic communications. All of his communications are now carried by human messengers. Both the Israeli Shin Bet and the US intel agencies have teams dedicated to finding him. [...] Over the weekend, the UK Express published a story claiming that he routinely leaves the tunnels under Gaza dressed as a woman. [...] https://hotair.com/john-s-2/2024/08/26/the-hunt-for-yahya-sinwar-n3793702

Scintillating Monday repartee, yawn man. ----- Thrilling Monday report, see man: Awoke at o'dark-Many and dropped Mini-B. for Band sectional, torpid we man. Returned to an e-mail that sectional was canceled, man. Went grocerying for Uncle T-B.'s remaining stuff, grocery we man. Also got Mama T-B.'s 2 desired items, convenient man. Delivered stuff to Uncle T-B., appreciative senior he man. Re-pilled his caddy, fill-pilling we man. Made it back to casa just as rainstorm began, elegant timing man. Lunch was 2 sliced-turkey sandwiches on Costco hamburger buns, ingest we man. A siesta was taken thereafter, uninterrupted by anything man. Parked on street outside skool in major monsoon, Mini-B. un-umbrella'd man. Fortunately, monsoon stopped during release time, elegant timing man. Mini-B. had had intestinal upset during skool, oh poop wee man. He beelined for the facilities at the casa, oh repoop wee man. We attribute the upset to breakfast cereal or lunch, one of the two man. Din-din was burnt pork ends and air-fried tater tots, ingest Two Guys man. Dessert was half the apple pie from FST restaurant, ingest Two Guys man. Mini-B. experienced no ill effects from either, highly satisfied wee man. Mini-B. embedded almost on time, small victory man. Party with the rubias imminent, cavort we man. Must take Mama T-B. to doc too early on Tuesday, rush we man. And that was/is our thrilling Monday, report we man.

OP indicates satisfaction, so this thread is now closed.

The plaintiffs', if they ultimately lose?

Karine Grey-Poupon has been mighty silent lately.

I thought of that, too. She'd be far more valuable as SecDef, Chairwoman of the Joint Chiefs, or some military-related post. The Vice-Presidency "isn't worth a bucket of warm spit."

Folks, the thread has moved on, but remember that political observations belong in the Current Events forum, rather than in the upper forums. It's tempting to post political comments, especially given the stress of waiting, but let's leave threads like this one for supportive comments as everyone waits for approval and eventually gets it.

More of the same from this evil clown. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Maduro's Communist Thugs Help Him Bully His Way to Power A member of Venezuela's electoral council admitted in an interview published today that he has seen no evidence that Nicolas Maduro won the country's election as he claims. The sad part of this story is that it probably doesn't matter. Maduro is bullying his way back into office through a combination of lies and threats. Hundreds of people have been visited by his security forces in something he has dubbed "Operation Knock Knock." [...] https://hotair.com/john-s-2/2024/08/26/venezuela-communist-thugs-bully-their-way-to-power-n3793694

Some fair questions are posed here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trump Shooter's Father Hires High-Powered Attorneys Shortly after the July assassination attempt on Donald Trump by Thomas Crooks, many questions were immediately raised, and for good reasons. To be fair, there are still ongoing questions about the Secret Service's handling of Trump's security during his rally in Butler, Pennsylvania and whether this was all just a matter of incompetence, insufficient staffing, or something potentially darker. But as for Crooks himself, after a week or so I slowly became convinced that Crooks was something of an aberration. He eventually struck me as an isolated, lonely, likely psychotic incel who decided to make a name for himself and go out with a bang. (Literally.) But the latest development in the case once again has my inner conspiracy theorist rattling the walls of its cage and screaming that there is still something very wrong about this story. Crooks' parents have now retained some experienced and likely expensive defense attorneys to act on their behalf. But why? [...] https://hotair.com/jazz-shaw/2024/08/26/trump-shooters-father-hires-high-powered-attorney-n3793683

Good news for Democracy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Green Party Candidate Jill Stein Gets Last Laugh As Democrats Suffer Crushing Defeat in Wisconsin One big thing Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein had in common with (now-former) independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. was being the subject of intense focus by the Democrat Party's legal teams and related allies at the state and national levels, with them fighting in the courtroom to keep her, Kennedy, and Cornel West off the November ballot in states across the country. [...] In an update of sorts to Stein's battle, she got the last laugh on Monday thanks to the Wisconsin Supreme Court: [...] https://redstate.com/sister-toldjah/2024/08/26/green-party-candidate-jill-stein-gets-last-laugh-as-democrats-suffer-crushing-defeat-in-wisconsin-n2178569

WATCH: Secret Service Agents Shove Civilians Out of the Way As Joe and Jill Continue Endless Vacation Do you remember learning in high school how one of the reasons we rebelled against the English monarchy was because we were freedom-minded and didn't believe in "kings" and "monarchs" who inherited their power instead of earning it? And how we believed that a leader should be a person of the people and not some distant autocrat who rules on a golden throne from afar? However, if you're the Incredibly Shrinking President Joe Biden, who seems to be on permanent vacation at the taxpayer's expense, these rules do not apply to you. Get out of the way, plebes! Watch as the Secret Service—whose reputation has deservedly taken a nosedive this summer—shoves regular Americans aside so Jill can go purchase another dress that looks like an ugly carpet: [...] https://redstate.com/bobhoge/2024/08/26/watch-secret-service-agents-shove-civilians-out-of-the-way-as-joe-and-jill-continue-endless-vacation-n2178570

Texas Judge Blocks Biden Plan to Grant Legal Status to Spouses of Citizens A federal judge in Texas has temporarily blocked a Biden-Harris administration plan to grant legal status to non-citizens who are married to U.S. citizens, pausing the program for at least the next two weeks while the legal challenge moved through the courts. [...] https://redstate.com/joesquire/2024/08/26/texas-judge-blocks-biden-plan-to-grant-legal-status-to-spouses-of-citizens-n2178571