TBoneTX

Excellent Q, si G man. Si, man -- from Many-&-a-half feet up to regulation Many feet, si man.

So they stink worse than Many -- yes, Many -- dead fish, yuck D ma'am. They're outright freeloaders, and also rude, si and grrrr man. Throw their junk on the sidewalk and then them, do it without delay, regret, or second thought D ma'am. Then throw paper airplanes at them that carry the numbers of social-service organizations, si D ma'am. Do this without delay, alacrity D ma'am. They are not allowed back in your casa under any circumstances until they can fend for themselves, NO man. Edited to add, see ma'am: And if Hillbilly tries to object, tell him that if Mama D ain't happy, NO ONE be happy, si and grrrr D ma'am.

Thread is moved from Off Topic to General Immigration Discussion.

Good luck to everyone seeking travel arrangements to Russia. I've been spoiled. From Houston to Quito is 5 hours 20 minutes nonstop; from Houston to Guayaquil has one change in Panama. Maximum time-zone difference is one hour, depending on Standard or Daylight Saving time. Man.

Screenshots that revealed personal information have been removed.

Scintillating Sunday repartee, yawn man. ------- Thrilling Sunday report, see man: We got fed up with Mama T-B.'s obsessiveness and ordered Mini-B. a basketball hoop, enough dithering man. Neighbor with pickup truck picked up hoop, pick up with pickup he man. Assembly probably early this week, anticipate we man. Mini-B. duly excited, anticipatory wee man. Lunch was the toucans of chicken noodle soup from Friday's ES, ingest financially savvy we man. Din-din was onecan of S+Ms, mentally and culinarily prep ourself for Two Guys week man. Unless passports arrive by Thursday, ex-Mrs.-T-B. & Mini-B. will not go to Ecu, only Many days left man.

Canadian Dentist Now Offering Euthanasia As Alternative To Cavity Filling TORONTO — According to reports, Toronto dentist Joseph Meyer is now offering euthanasia as an alternative to cavity fillings. Meyer introduced the service this Thursday at his Yorkville practice amid growing demand for assisted suicide in the country. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/canadian-dentist-now-offering-euthanasia-as-alternative-to-cavity-filling

IRS Agents Slide Down Chimneys Looking For Gifts Of $600 Or More MUNCIE, IN — IRS agents kicked off a new holiday tradition this week as they began nationwide canvassing of taxpayers' homes, sliding down their chimneys in search of undeclared gifts worth $600 or more. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/irs-agents-slide-down-chimneys-looking-for-gifts-of-600-or-more

Brittney Griner Flees Back to Russia in Terror After Seeing American Flag [...] "AAHHHHH! The symbol of my oppression!" said Griner through tears. "When I see the American flag, I see slavery. I see [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/brittney-griner-flees-back-to-russia-in-terror-after-seeing-american-flag

Following Sinema's Exit, Romney Announces Intention To Remain In Democratic Party WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Mitt Romney reassured supporters today that he would be remaining a faithful member of the Democratic Party. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/following-sinemas-exit-romney-announces-intention-to-remain-in-democrat-party

Biden Decides To Read 'Art Of The Deal' After Getting Ripped Off In Griner Trade [...] Biden has committed to finishing the book before reopening negotiations with the Russian government, say officials close to the president. The president is reportedly staying up as late as 6 PM to squeeze in some reading time. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/after-getting-ripped-off-in-griner-trade-biden-decides-to-read-art-of-the-deal

Restraining Order Issued Against Reporter Who Asked Karine Jean-Pierre A Question WASHINGTON, D.C. — Fox News Correspondent Peter Doocy has been issued a restraining order after he asked a question of Karine Jean-Pierre in today's press conference. [...]

Biden Calls For $50 Billion To Help Ukraine Track Down Notorious Russian Arms Dealer [...] the Biden Administration issued a call for an urgent need to help Ukraine hunt for a notorious Russian arms dealer known as the "Merchant of Death," who is now believed to be on the loose. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-calls-for-50-billion-to-help-ukraine-track-down-notorious-russian-arms-dealer-merchant-of-death

Disinformation Down 92% As NYT Writers Go On Strike [...] "We always wondered where all this harmful disinformation was coming from," said Darryl Ball, a researcher with the Center for Combatting Bad Things Online. "Turns out, it was all coming from those knuckleheads at the Times. Who knew?" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/disinformation-on-twitter-down-92-as-nyt-writers-go-on-strike

Nicely said!

Even Jimmeh Cahtah? Pretty strong words...

Why not just draw winners' names from a hat so we don't have to endure weeks of Kickball?

Our last joke (if correlation = causation) resulted in approvals! In hopes of more, here on Sunday is our Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke: ============================================== A POLITICIAN IN THE VILLAGE A politician visited a small village and asked what the residents' needs were. "We have two basic needs, honorable sir," replied the villager leader. "First, we have a hospital, but no doctor." On hearing this, the politician brought out his phone, spoke for a while, and told them not to worry, because a doctor would be there tomorrow. He asked for the second problem. "Second, sir, there is no cellphone reception anywhere in this village."

Good catch. Even worse, then.

In the same vein:

Amazing writing by this former liberal. Comments?

Thrilling Saturday report, see man: Miu has turned into a genuine lap-miu, don't leave us again Daddy man. Today was Two Guys time, replacement for Wednesday man. Got Mini-B. mid-morning, finally functional we man. Went on errands and involved Mini-B., normally impatient wee man. 1. Had Mini-B. manipulate credit card and gas pump, involved wee man. 2. Had Mini-B. scan our CVS card at coupon machine, involved wee man. Many. Let Mini-B. pick new electric toothbrush, involved wee man. Many. Let Mini-B. pick one of next week's din-dins, involved wee man. Lunch take-out from Subway WUOC, financially savvy we man. Mini-B. consumed usual salami-pepperoni-American-lettuce-tomato-mayo, ingest wee man. We consumed usual teriyaki chicken-Swiss-tomato-cucumber-mayo-black pepper, ingest we man. Showed Mini-B. his new shirts from south Texas, approve wee man. Read several funny Baba-Mail items, Two Guys man. Did several Mad Libs*, Two Guys man. *Mini-B.'s chief choices involved forms of the word "fart," no objection we man. Watched a new Urban Rescue Ranch YouTube episode, always good man. Returned Mini-B. to ex-Mrs.-T-B., return we man wee man to ex-she man man. Gave Mexican t-shirt to Cousinette Mini-B., appreciative junior she man. Left Mexican t-shirt for Cousin Mini-B., surely to be appreciative junior he man. Sold ex-Mrs.-T-B. her requested medicines + the ES warshcloths** from earlier, transact we man. **at a profit, financially savvy we man Ex-Mrs.-T-B. asked what we'd brought back for the Rojo, tease we ex-she man. "Regards and sympathies, si man," replied we man to ex-she man. Watched end of Army-Navy football game, rather exciting man. Din-din was onecan of beef stew, ingest we man. Napped for a blessed hour, nearly caught up on zzz we man. Delivered Mexican booty to Mama T-B., deliver we to senior she man. Got only a Many-minute lecture, crucial to catch senior she man when tired man. Again ministering to demanding miu, serve miu we man. Wild party with the rubias to begin shortly, cavort we man.

Need for P-math neatly avoided, proficient we man.

Sympathies, but this is the law. Try to involve husband's Congressman. Can't make additional recommendations that wouldn't violate Terms of Service.

Lived next door to Hilgenbergs. Was always funny. "Wreck of the Old 97," then.