TBoneTX

Trump Prepares For Debate Against Kamala By Going To Bar And Arguing With Drunks ORLANDO, FL — Sources close to Republican presidential candidate Donald J. Trump report that the former president is preparing for his upcoming debate with Kamala Harris as realistically as possible: by going to wine bars and arguing with drunk people. "Yes, it's true, I did come up with this great way to practice for Kamala," Trump explained to several staffers. "I thought to myself, 'Donald, where would Kamala Harris most like to be in the world, do you think?' I kid you not — and I thought [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-prepares-for-debate-against-kamala-by-going-to-wine-bar-and-arguing-with-drunks

Hamas Excited To Learn Killing Israelis Somehow Makes Biden Condemn Israel GAZA — After news broke over the weekend that the bodies of several executed hostages were recently discovered in Gaza by Israeli Defense Forces, the Palestinian terrorist organization Hamas was reportedly excited to learn that killing Israelis somehow makes U.S. President Joe Biden condemn Israel. Biden joined multiple heads of state in issuing stern statements warning Israel of potential consequences due to Hamas killing Israeli captives while still holding over 100 more hostages. "Israel is clearly out of line," Biden said in a statement to reporters that also reminded everyone he was still the U.S. president. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/hamas-excited-to-learn-killing-israelis-somehow-makes-biden-condemn-israel

FBI Says They Were Just About To Get The School Shooter But They Had To Take Care Of A Few Dangerous Pro-Life Protestors First ARLINGTON, VA — Official FBI sources recently stepped forward to apologize for the Bureau's tardiness in stopping a school shooter, as they were all wrapped up taking care of a few dangerous pro-life protestors at the time. Agent Jim Dolon, who is tasked with tracking and stopping mass shooters, said that the Bureau was really, really backlogged sorting through all the dangerous pro-lifers when the school shooting happened. "I'm gonna be honest — my bad," Dolon said, shaking his head. "But do keep in mind that we almost had that shooter. We were so close — we just had to catch and imprison a bunch of dangerous pro-life people who were doing horrible, dangerous things like [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-says-they-were-just-about-to-get-the-school-shooter-but-they-had-to-take-care-of-a-few-dangerous-pro-life-protestors-first

Oh, this has zingers in it... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ FBI Assures Public The Next Ten Mass Shooters Are Also On Their Radar QUANTICO, VA — Following yet another violent tragedy that took innocent young lives, the Federal Bureau of Investigation assured the public that the next ten mass shooters were also on their radar. Citizens expressed confusion after the FBI admitted that the latest shooter was someone the agency was aware of. Still, an FBI spokesman promised the American people that not only was this shooter on the bureau's radar, but the next ten perpetrators of mass casualty were as well. "The public can rest easy knowing that we're fully aware of the next several shooters," said FBI Special Agent Owen Gaffney. "We have multiple individuals under close surveillance at this time, and we are confident that each of them will eventually become a mass murderer. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/fbi-assures-public-the-next-ten-mass-shooters-are-also-on-their-radar

After Motorcade Involved In Fender Bender, Tim Walz Adds Purple Heart To Resume MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Democrat Vice-Presidential candidate Tim Walz has just added another distinguished award to his already impressive military resume. According to sources, the battle-hardened veteran awarded himself a Purple Heart after his motorcade was involved in a fender bender yesterday. While sources say that the incident was "relatively minor," as Walz had accidentally bumped into a parked car, the Minnesota governor decided it was a good enough opportunity for him to spiff up his military career just a little more. "I, Tim Walz, for my outstanding bravery and courage in the face of suffering slight back pain as a result of rear-ending another person's parked car, do hereby award myself the Purple Medal for Distinguished Valor or something," Walz reportedly intoned [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/after-motorcade-involved-in-fender-bender-tim-walz-adds-purple-heart-to-resume

You Will Never Understand How Evil They Are Those who grew up in normative Western homes will never understand the evil and depravity of Muslim terrorists. The execution last week of six Israeli hostages, including one American citizen, is a microcosm of the evil that is truly defining of Islamic terror. Those who applaud Hamas on campus and go so far as to wear their headgear or demand, "Intifada Revolution," for the most part do not comprehend the depths of moral sickness of those whom they so enthusiastically support. Way back in the 1970s, there used to be NFL advertisements, "You Make the Call!" They would show a short play and then give you a few seconds to decide if a receiver was inbounds or if a hit involved roughing the passer and the like. Then they would come back to give us the actual answer. So let's try to put ourselves into the tunnel where Hamas terrorists murdered the young Israelis. Israel just found the shaft to that tunnel: it's in a children's room with animal paintings on the wall and toys on the floor. The Nazis couldn't touch these guys for evil. [...] https://townhall.com/columnists/alanjosephbauer/2024/09/06/you-will-never-understand-how-evil-they-are-n2644363

WHOA! FBI Raids Homes of NYPD Commish Edward Caban, Eric Adams' Top Aides [...] Now, we learn of multiple raids conducted by the FBI on Wednesday at the homes of New York City Mayor Eric Adams' top aides, as well as that of NYPD Commissioner Edward Caban: [...] https://redstate.com/smoosieq/2024/09/05/whoa-fbi-raids-homes-of-nypd-commish-edward-caban-eric-adams-top-aides-n2178959

Here's an excellent analysis of the plea. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why Would Hunter Biden Enter a Straight-Up Guilty Plea With No Deal? His Explanation, and More [...] While Alford pleas are rare, it's even rarer for a defendant to straight-up plead guilty to every single count they're charged with and without any concessions from prosecutors on punishment - especially when that defendant could face 17 years in prison and $1.35 million in fines. [...] https://redstate.com/jenvanlaar/2024/09/06/hunter-biden-releases-statement-claiming-prosecutors-wanted-to-dehumanize-him-so-he-pled-guilty-n2178975

Li'l Crackpipe pleaded purely to keep Bidementia's secrets from coming out. Li'l Crackpipe does not intend to serve any of the prospective 15 years in prison. Bidementia will pardon him, now or later. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hunter: On Second Thought, I'm *Actually* Guilty [...] Hunter has abandoned the Alford plea, and will now just enter a guilty plea and acknowledge that his behavior was indeed criminal: [...] https://hotair.com/ed-morrissey/2024/09/05/hunter-on-second-thought-im-guilty-n3794107

Excuse Me? ABC News May Change Rules of Debate to Help Kamala Harris [...] CNN reports that ABC News may be willing to bend the rules to help Kamala during the debate. [...] https://pjmedia.com/matt-margolis/2024/09/05/abc-news-might-change-rules-of-debate-to-help-kamala-harris-n4932260

How much less-than-zero excuse is there for this idiocy? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Florida Doctor Allegedly Removed Patient's Liver Instead of Spleen, Killing Him An Alabama man entered a Florida hospital for a procedure to remove his spleen. On Aug. 21, medical records provided to USA Today by Zarzaur Law show that "Dr. Thomas Shaknovsky performed a hand-assisted laparoscopic splenectomy procedure on William "Bill" Bryan, 70, from Muscle Shoals, Alabama." Bryan's widow claims that Shaknovsky mistakenly removed his liver instead of his spleen. [...] https://pjmedia.com/rick-moran/2024/09/05/florida-doctor-allegedly-removed-patients-liver-instead-of-spleen-killing-him-n4932279

Wella, wella -- the truth comes out. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Secret Video: Manhattan Attorney's Office Spokesman Says Bragg's Case Against Trump is 'Nonsense' It has been obvious right from the beginning that Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg's case against Trump was a half-baked mélange of wild exaggeration, unwarranted conclusions, and legal sleight of hand, all in pursuit of allowing Bragg's fellow Democrats to intone sanctimoniously that Trump was a "convicted felon." In a refreshing twist, however, now a top spokesman for Bragg's own home base, the Manhattan U.S. Attorney's Office, has admitted as much, calling Bragg's case "nonsense." As of this writing on Thursday afternoon, the poor fellow is not yet looking for new employment, but he may be soon. [...] https://pjmedia.com/robert-spencer/2024/09/05/secret-video-manhattan-attorneys-office-spokesman-says-braggs-case-against-trump-is-nonsense-n4932284

I've never watched this show, but it sounds like a train wreck from one end to the other.

Scintillating Thursday repartee, yawn man. (Bad absent Asia! Bad, BAD absent ABSENT Asia!) ------- Thrilling Thursday repartee, yawn man: In the morning, miu sat on our chest to emphasize the importance of miu-breakfast, obvious miu man. Lunch was 2 ham-&-cheese sandwiches, indict all but the cheese and ingest we man. Retrieved Mini-B. from skool for Two Guys eve, Two Guys man. Din-din was BK*, ingest Two Guys man. *bought WUOC, financially savvy we man We briefly jousted with Mini-B. with use of his light-sabers, bellicose Two Guys man. Movie night involved 2 Everybody Hates Chris episodes & the start of the NFL game, watch Two Guys man. Two bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest and apply to next week's tally Two Guys man. It was a good Two Guys eve, agree Two Guys man. Mama T-B. has a genuine talent for scheduling her medical stuff so it interferes with our activities, man. We have itineraried Many (2+2+1) ESs for Friday, itinerary we man. Pressure-warshing guy shows up in the morning, distinct need man. Party with the rubias imminently, cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Thursday, report we man.

Out of curiosity, in the past I asked both a general practitioner and a dermatologist. Both said that the various eye creams do nothing but perhaps soften the skin. The dermatologist, who was very frank, said that only plastic surgery would be definitive. He said that wearing glasses is a boon for hiding baggy eyes. We shall be the judge of that, O ma'am!

Let's hope that Israel gets to it first.

Tampon Tim is practically a ChiCom, from all evidence.

This is sad to hear. It's another example of how stopping an infection early -- or preventing it in the first place -- is preferable to having to deal with it in full-blown form.

Sounds super. Did you see many EVs during your travels?

Old thread is now closed after the late addition of a valuable observation.

Dollars are happily accepted in the Mexican border towns that I've gone to, for payments and tips. If the people aren't charged a fee for exchanging dollars for pesos, then dollars would be fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Theologians Debate Whether God Could Design IKEA Bookcase Even He Could Not Assemble OXFORD — Theologians have begun intensely debating whether God is capable of designing an IKEA bookcase that He cannot assemble. The hotly contested argument arose among well-respected theological minds after one divinity student raised the omniscience paradox regarding whether God was powerful enough to create a piece of IKEA furniture so confusing and misshapen that He would then be unable to put it together Himself. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/theologians-debate-whether-god-could-design-ikea-bookcase-even-he-could-not-assemble

Tim Walz's Dog Endorses Trump ST. PAUL, MN — In a stunning development today, Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz's dog "Scout" has officially endorsed Donald J. Trump for president in 2024. "Bark!" said Scout in a statement. The dog, reportedly one of Tim Walz's closest friends in the world, confirmed that he was supporting Trump because of his position on immigration and support of Israel. "Woof!" said Scout, doubling down on his position. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/tim-walzs-dog-scout-endorses-trump

Amazon Says Error Caused Alexa To Say 'If You Vote For Trump, I Will Kill You In Your Sleep' SEATTLE, WA — Amazon apologized this week for a technical glitch that caused its Alexa home assistant device to reply, "If you vote for Donald Trump, I will kill you in your sleep" when asked about the upcoming election. "Whoops. Our bad," said Amazon Spokesman Marcus Gleason to reporters. "We may have made a teensy little error in the programming that caused Alexa to threaten to murder Republicans. Super weird, right?" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/amazon-says-error-caused-alexa-to-say-if-you-vote-for-trump-i-will-kill-you-in-your-sleep

You gotta gotta gotta gotta GOTTA watch this video. ------------ WATCH: Tulsi Gabbard Warns Kamala Has and Will Engage in Political Retaliation and Brings the RECEIPTS A month ago, we told you the Biden-Harris administration put Tulsi Gabbard on a terror watchlist. Why? Gabbard did an interview with Laura Ingraham back in July that criticized the Biden-Harris administration for, among other things, the abuse and weaponization of the government against its political opponents. And they proved her right. This video is long, but worth a watch. She talked not only about retaliation against her, but against Matt Taibbi who dropped the Twitter Files, Catherine Herridge, who was fired by CBS for unfavorable reporting on the Biden administration and others. This video is so well done and you MUST watch: [...] https://twitchy.com/amy-curtis/2024/09/04/watch-tulsi-gabbard-speaks-about-being-on-terror-watch-list-says-kamala-will-retaliate-against-us-n2400520