TBoneTX

Oh our goodness -- Sunday means it's time for our Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== THE SMART ROBBER A robber went into a bank. He pulled a gun on the bank clerk and manager, saying, "Give me all the money! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession. You know, initial investment is needed to cover the overheads until my cash flow is established and turned into passive income." The bank manager said to the clerk, "You'd better do what he says... I think he means business."

The Babylon Bee Editorial Board Endorses Kamala Harris For President While other fake news organizations like the Washington Post and L.A. Times refuse to save democracy, we at the Babylon Bee are proud to do our part. Today, the esteemed Editorial Board of the Babylon Bee has officially voted to endorse Kamala Harris for President. In 2020, the Babylon Bee famously endorsed "Dave" for President, discovering only later that Dave was a role played by actor Kevin Kline in a movie that hit the box office in 1993. This year, we resolved to endorse an actual person, and that person is Kamala Harris. Why Kamala? Take a look at this incredible list of just a few of her achievements: [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/the-babylon-bee-editorial-board-officially-endorses-kamala-harris-for-president

They Tried to Kill Him [...] There are three possible explanations for a near-miss assassination attempt: first, a fluke of bad luck; second, culpable negligence, where authorities starve a target of protection in the hope, conscious or unconscious, that a lone nut will take advantage of the opportunities thus left open; third, deliberate conspiracy to commit murder. If the attempts on Trump's life were anything but the first option, then there quite simply are no other issues in this election. The party willing to use murder as a political tool must be defeated. The fact that options two and three are live possibilities months later is itself alarming. [...] https://www.theamericanconservative.com/they-tried-to-kill-him/

The mother of that murdered girl has been quite stoic and brave during this entire trauma.

You fully realize you're married when you find yourself the only guy in a long checkout line at V.'s Secret, standing uncomfortably with two fistfuls of on-sale women's underwear while wifey merrily goes back to hunt for even more.

Her handlers should insist on all the questions in advance.

Thrilling Saturday non-GS/ES report, see man: We slept in somewhat, zzz we man. Mini-B. didn't leave bed till noon, lazy wee man. Breakfast/lunch was 2 PB&J sandwiches each, ingest Two Guys man. We went out at 1 p.m., q.v. Saturday GS/ES report man. Returned at Many p.m. and siesta'd for over an hour, zzz we man. Mini-B.'s amigo came over, socialize wee men man. Din-din was Costco angusburgers and r'br, ingest Two Guys man. Movie night was the recent George/Mandy + 2 Everybody Hates Chris episodes, watch Two Guys man. Many (2+1) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man. One more bowl is needed to achieve double-digit weekly quota, achievable on Sunday man. Visit to Mama T-B. on Sunday, mandatory for Two Guys man. LLs to be conquered, occupational hazard man. Party with the rubias imminent, cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Saturday, report we man.

Saturday GS/ES report, see man: The "new" GS was phantom, man. Neither of the others yielded anything, oh well man. Total = $0

Country-specific thread is moved from the "Moving to the U.S." forum to the Canada regional forum.

None whatsoever, none man. If we have any, we forgot, sigh man. Husbands stop us, si man. You mean "all those people who have lived life after midnight and are taking their well-deserved zzz," see man. Anathema, si man! If you really scrutinize, you'll see a larger selection than first appears, trust us man. Never heard of that, no man. Aldi typically builds its own pad sites, si man. If it's profitable, it should (or needs to) be left alone, si man.

Time spent together in person is the best indicator of a bona fide relationship. You've documented your communications well. Bear in mind that they're unable to consider any "media" like thumb drives, recordings, etc. Put off scheduling the wedding and buying clothes for it. Never "presume" granting of the visa. If you're in Thailand when she's interviewed, you might not be allowed inside the consulate (this varies by location). Give her your U.S. passport to take in and show the consul; she should say that you're within range if there are any questions. She should have something like an accordion folder where she can reach in and efficiently pull out anything that the consul asks for. Give her a complete photocopy of the I-129F that you sent in. It sounds to me as though you've prepared and anticipated things as well as anyone possibly could. Avoid sweating things too much. Let us know what results!

Congratulations, and what a relief for you!

The Houston Chronicle (a paper that a dead fish would feel insulted to be wrapped in) has endorsed Kommie.

Thrilling Friday non-GS/ES report, see man: Got Mini-B. to skool on time, minor miracle man. Lunch was 2 turkey-&-cheese sandwiches, ingest we man. We were prepping to leave when the calls/e-mails regarding Uncle T-B. began in-flooding, inundated we man. One was medical, that's fine man. The rest were financial, investments man. We didn't leave the casa until half an hour past noon, day half-blown man. We still managed to do most of our GS/ES itinerary, proficient/efficient we man. After much search-souling, we consumed early din-din at a Chinese buffet, indulge we man. We had 2 plates heaping with chicken & beef, ingest we man. We had 1 plate with nearly a Manyzen hard-boiled-egg halves, ingest we man. Price wasn't worth it, sigh man. After servicing indignant miu, we siesta'd for a planned hour + half an hour, plan zzz we man. This was interrupted by a sales call from a medical place, man. It was further interrupted by a text from ex-Mrs.-T-B., back from Ecu Saturday ex-she man man. We asked if she had procured our requested 2 items, inquire we man. "No, man -- I'm overloaded with stuff," said ex-she man to we man man. "What kind of ex-wife treats her ex-husband in this fashion, huh man?!" inquired we man. Mini-B. was at regional Band auditions for Many (2+2+2) hours, suck-timing activity man. All the pick-up instructions supplied to parents were wrong, we man. Mini-B. qualified for Regional and must lose another Friday/Saturday for that, man. We took him to Dairy Queen for a treat, extravagant we man. We have itineraried 2 GSs and an ES* for Saturday, itinerary we man. *including the GS & ES missed Friday, specify we man And that was/is our thrilling Friday, report we man.

Friday GS/ES report, see man: We attended 2 of the GSs and Many (2+2) of the ESs, others timed out* man. *see Thrilling Friday non-GS/ES report for details, q.v. man Both GSs and 2 of the ESs yielded the take, see man: -- NIP large picture-hanging adhesive strips, thick warshcloth = $1, deal man -- mostly full box jumbo Hefty one-zip storage bags = $1, deal man -- Many (2+1) NIP dryer sheets = half + half-of-half a buck, steal man -- Manycans (toucans + toucans) corn, onecan beans, 2 Concord grape juice, Many-hole ([2+2+2]-hole) outlet tap, NIP pack foot-diameter din-din plates, NIP pack large oval din-din plates = $Many-&-a-half ($[2x2x2 +2+2] + half a buck), steal man Total = $Many + half-of-half a buck ($[2x2x2x2 -1] + half-of-half a buck)

Brilliant agree-with-us-ing mam ma'am! Brilliant, BRILLIANT agree-with-us-ing AGREE-WITH-US-ING mam ma'am! Well, poop, miss-opportunitying we man.

Any regular, attentive reader would remember that her husband is in Nicaragua or somewhere and that she's not particularly cute, si and no man. Furthermore, anyone with so little awareness of time would drive us aysheep at minimum, si man. Time of visitations precised, see and si and man. And anyone going anywhere at Many a.m. sounds cuckoo in our opinion unless one hasn't gone to bed yet, si man. He reportedly travels a lot, absent he man. Aldi is cheaper, $i man.

Country-specific thread is moved from the K-1 Case Progress subforum to the Thailand regional forum.

LA Times Staff Resigns After Being Asked To Publish Facts [...] Provoked by a new editor-in-chief who thought newspapers were supposed to report facts, several senior reporters banded together to rally everyone to quit their jobs and do literally anything else. "I've wanted to be a reporter for as long as I could remember," said former political correspondent Iago Mendax. "But telling the truth? What does that have to do with reporting?" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/la-times-staff-resigns-after-being-asked-to-publish-facts

Final Nail In The Coffin? Former Blockbuster Employee Accuses Trump Of Failing To Return VHS Tape Of 'Baby Geniuses' In 1999 NEW YORK, NY — In what political experts said could be the final nail in the coffin for the former president's bid to return to the White House, a former Blockbuster Video employee came forward to accuse Donald Trump of failing to return a rented VHS copy of Baby Geniuses in 1999. The incident allegedly stemmed from a visit Trump made to a Blockbuster location in lower Manhattan years ago in search of the classic film featuring babies with computer-animated mouths. The former clerk of the store alleged Trump took the VHS tape and never returned it, disqualifying him from serving as president. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/final-nail-in-the-coffin-former-blockbuster-employee-accuses-trump-of-failing-to-return-vhs-tape-of-baby-geniuses-in-1999

Frustrated Democrats To Consider Letting Voters Pick The Presidential Candidate Next Time [...] According to the anonymous source, Democrats are so irritated about how poorly Kamala is performing that they might even decide to run a candidate who received more than zero primary ballots next election cycle. "How did we even get here?" cried a distraught Chuck Schumer, cursing the incompetent bungling that stuck his party with an extremely "dumb and incompetent" presidential candidate. "Fine. FINE. I guess we can get a little bit of voter input on who we run next time. Just don't get too used to it, voters!" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/frustrated-democrats-reportedly-considering-letting-voters-pick-the-presidential-candidate-next-time

Tulsi Gabbard Finally Realizes She's Far Too Attractive To Be A Democrat WASHINGTON, D.C. — There was great rejoicing in the GOP yesterday as former Democrat Tulsi Gabbard finally realized that she's far too good-looking to be a Democrat. Sources close to Gabbard say the realization was a long time in coming, but that she finally decided to switch sides after realizing that she didn't blend in at all. "I'd felt very out of place for a while now," Gabbard said as she announced she was now a Republican. "Everyone around me was either [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/tulsi-gabbard-finally-realizes-shes-far-too-attractive-to-be-a-democrat

Worst Allegation Yet? Woman Claims In 1993 Trump Touched Her Inappropriately With Classified Documents While Praising Hitler NEW YORK CITY, NY — In a groundbreaking series of new allegations, a woman has come forward to accuse Trump of inappropriately touching her with a set of classified documents while simultaneously praising Adolph Hitler. "He came at me and groped my rear end while holding a fistful of classified documents in his other hand," alleged victim Marcia Webster told the press. "He was yelling something about wanting to annex Poland and how much he admired Hitler, it was terrible." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/nail-in-the-coffin-woman-alleges-in-1993-trump-touched-her-inappropriately-with-classified-documents-while-praising-hitler

Frightening, but not unrealistic. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Are Dems Out Of Options To Stop Trump? Two impeachments, 88 felony counts (with guilty verdicts on 34 of them), a massive fine, two assassination attempts, unrelentingly hostile media coverage, a last-minute candidate switcheroo, and Donald Trump is still showing signs that he will win the election in two weeks. So, what do Democrats still have up their sleeve to stop Trump? They must have something. Back in May, we asked what the Democrats’ Plan B was if their lawfare campaign against Trump failed, and offered five options – four of which have come to pass. Here is what we said then. [...] https://issuesinsights.com/2024/10/22/are-dems-out-of-options-to-stop-trump/

Need more such joy, such as shutting down such rags entirely (of their own volition).