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Kids At Tim Walz's Door Disappointed As He Fills Candy Bags With Tampons ST. PAUL, MN — Vice Presidential candidate Tim Walz disappointed trick-or-treaters at his door this year by handing them tampons instead of the traditional candy. "Here you go! I'm sure you little girls and boys or whatever you identify as will love a few Tampax-brand tampons," Walz told the costumed children at his door. "I know you little they/thems could definitely use some feminine products. Hugs!" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/kids-at-tim-walzs-door-disappointed-as-he-fills-candy-bags-with-tampons
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These clowns are disasters. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Secret Service Brass Interfered in IG Assassination Probe Secret Service leaders meddled in an independent government investigation of the July 13 assassination attempt against former President Donald Trump and are still not following many basic agency security protocols for presidential candidates, presidents, and vice presidents in the final days before the election, according to emails reviewed by RealClearPolitics and several sources in the Secret Service community. [...] https://www.realclearpolitics.com/articles/2024/10/31/secret_service_brass_interfered_ig_assassination_probe_151872.html
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Thrilling Thursday-on-Friday report, see belatedly man: Happy Hallowe'en to all except per below, si man! Happy Columbus Day to all Polish Commie-Babes, oj tak. Thunder awoke us at the exact ungodly minute at which we'd set our alarm, masochistic we man. We wanted to awaken early, to get the T-B.-mobile to the shop, maintenance man. We returned to the casa and dozed, try to recapture missing zzz we man. We got to repair shop shortly before official opening, timely we man. Guy said that they had 2 or Many hours' worth of work left over from previous day, man. Just over 2 hours later, we reappeared, better luck this time man. Oil change, wiper-blade change, & tyre-airing achieved, si and hooray man. This and 2 other errands done by noon, efficient we man. Lunch was 2 turkey-&-cheese sandwiches, ingest we man. Some administrative work was performed, important Business Typhoon we man. A siesta was later taken, zzz we man. Din-din was onebag of nuked mixed vegetables, ingest we man. We prepared for Hallowe'en, prepare we man. Sat outside garage* with potful of Welch's Fruit Snacks, sit we man. *to avoid getting up-down and to prevent escaping miu, our protocol man First visitor was a little boy barely able to toddle, very wee man man. He had big blue eyes and chubby little hands, so cute man. He smiled and waved at us, parental urging man. After he left, we teared up, remember Mini-B. on his first Hallowe'en we man. They grow up so fast, si man. We had barely more than a Manyzen visitors, slowest Hallowe'en ever man. No explanation for it, no man. On the bright side, most of them said "trick or treat," appropriate lingo man. On the even brighter side, almost all of them said "thank you," quality over quantity man. We ended up reading Many (2x2x2x2x2) pages of our book while waiting, self-edj'muhcate we man. Watched remainder of ghastly football game, awful man. Consumed 2 bowls of Costco popcorn, ingest we man. We have itineraried Many (2+2+2) ESs for Friday, very far away man. Friday eve should also be Two Guys eve, delayed man. Too late for party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Thursday, report we man.
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Hallowe'en 2024 -- Your Experiences Here!
TBoneTX replied to TBoneTX's topic in Current Events and Hot Social Topics
Mini-Bone went to a Haunted House-type place with Mom and friends. I was at home ready to serve visitors. As usual, I parked myself outside the open garage in a folding chair. This is to avoid having to get up & down and to prevent Cat T-B. from escaping outside. Probably 85% of the houses on my street were dark and not participating. I bought no special candy and went into a nearly full box of Welch's Fruit Snacks that Mini-B. sometimes eats. The first visitor was a little boy, barely able to toddle. He had big blue eyes and chubby little hands, and he smiled and waved at me upon parental urging. I was in tears afterward, remembering when Mini-B. was that age and in his first little costume. They grow up so fast. (Remember the song Turn Around? "Where have you gone, my little one, little one?") Choking up again at this writing. This year was the lightest ever, even considering the pandemic year(s). I doubt that there were more than 15 or 16 visitors. On the bright side, most of them said "trick or treat." On the even brighter side, almost all of them said "thank you" -- even without parental urging. Quality over quantity, as they say. Everything was over by a little after 8 p.m. -
Biden Calls On Deplorable Garbage Nazis To Tone Down The Rhetoric WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a renewed effort to lower the political temperature amid the lead-up to the presidential election next week, President Joe Biden called on all deplorable garbage Nazis to tone down their rhetoric. The plea came during a late-night address from the White House, as Biden urged former President Donald Trump's vicious, extremist, domestic terrorist supporters to stop using such derogatory and divisive language to describe their opponents. "Listen up, you Nazis. Here's the deal," Biden said. "Dangerous, inflammatory rhetoric has no place in our political discourse. That's why I'm calling on all of Donald Trump's nasty, disgusting, disease-infested, Hitler-loving, supporters to knock it off. Got it?" [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-calls-on-deplorable-garbage-nazis-to-tone-down-the-rhetoric
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Read the last line of this piece. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Trump Scores Coveted Endorsement From Hefty U.S. — In a huge boost for the Trump campaign coming into the final week, garbage bag company Hefty announced they will officially be endorsing former President Trump. "It's such an honor, a tremendous honor," said Trump. "To have the backing of so much garbage, such wonderful garbage, it means so much." [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-scores-coveted-endorsement-from-hefty
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Report: Millions Of Garbage Bags Seen Lining Up Outside Polling Stations U.S. — In a bizarre sight, tens of millions of garbage bags have been reported gathering outside polling stations across America, eager to cast their vote for former President Donald Trump. "It's the craziest thing. These garbage bags started lining up 6 a.m., and they just kept coming," said election worker Dave Stanton, surveying the mile-long line of garbage. "That's some seriously motivated garbage." According to exit polls, a remarkable [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/report-millions-of-garbage-bags-seen-lining-up-outside-polling-station
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Even if you're not crazy about Pres. Trump, his 5-minute video here is completely funny. I watched it twice and laughed in the same places. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEGEND: Orange Vest-Wearing Trump Tells WI Crowd Hilarious Story of How Garbage Truck Ride Came to Happen [...] as the media and Democrats were busy coping and seething over Trump keeping Biden's "garbage" insult of Trump's supporters in the spotlight, the former president had even more fun with it during the campaign rally, telling the hilarious story of how the garbage truck ride came to be, and how everything happened very fast. At one point, he joked about how [...] https://redstate.com/sister-toldjah/2024/10/30/watch-trump-cements-absolute-legend-status-telling-story-of-how-the-garbage-truck-ride-came-to-happen-n2181321
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HOT TAKES: Reactions to Trump's Garbage Truck Troll Are Terrific, As Dems Cope and Seethe You probably knew it was coming. President Donald Trump -- the master of trolling -- would have a good response to Joe Biden calling Trump supporters "garbage." Indeed, he did, sitting in a garbage truck on Wednesday, calling out Biden for insulting millions of Americans and having a lot of fun in the process. He already showed he has a talent for this with his McDonald's success. That was about serving the people. This time it's about cleaning up Washington. What a great symbolic move it is. [...] https://redstate.com/nick-arama/2024/10/30/hot-takes-the-reactions-to-trumps-garbage-trump-troll-are-terrific-as-dems-seethe-and-cope-n2181318
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Can you believe that it's been 50 years? This is a wonderful piece to read. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The 50th Anniversary of The Rumble in the Jungle [...] David versus Goliath was a colossal mismatch! Just not in the way we're expected to imagine. And this brings us to October 30, 1974: The Rumble in the Jungle — the legendary showdown between undefeated George Foreman and an overaged, past-his-prime Muhammad Ali. [...] https://pjmedia.com/scott-pinsker/2024/10/29/the-50th-anniversary-of-the-rumble-in-the-jungle-n4933768
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ABC 'Mistakenly' Releases Tuesday's Election Results for Pennsylvania: Harris 52%, Trump 47% Well, this is awkward. ABC released the results of the 2024 presidential election in the must-win state of Pennsylvania during the Formula 1 Mexico Grand Prix telecast. And with 100% of the precincts reporting, the Keystone State went to… Kamala Harris! She captured 52% and Trump only 47%. How 'bout that? [...] https://pjmedia.com/scott-pinsker/2024/10/30/abc-mistakenly-releases-tuesdays-election-results-today-harris-52-trump-47-n4933802
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Great! ~~~~~~~~~~ Trump Trolls Dems, Drives in Garbage Truck The Democrats' political dumpster fire just got worse, as Donald Trump hilariously replied to Joe Biden's "garbage" insult by driving in a garbage truck "in honor of Kamala [Harris] and Joe Biden." This week, the trashy tyrant Joe Biden angrily condemned a pro-Trump comedian's joke about Puerto Rico's garbage problem by sputtering, "The only garbage I see floating out there is his supporters." As with Hillary Clinton's "deplorables" crack in 2016, MAGA has already embraced the insult. And master troller Trump took a ride in a garbage truck with a massive campaign banner on the side. [...] https://pjmedia.com/catherinesalgado/2024/10/30/trump-trolls-dems-drives-in-garbage-truck-n4933803
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Agree with you. In addition, while reading it, I was reminded of how Woodrow Wilson presaged 0bummer in decreeing that the deplorables (of then and now) should be ruled by their betters.
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Scintillating Wednesday repartee*, yawn man. *Bad still-lurking Asia! Bad, BAD still-lurking STILL-LURKING Asia! ------- Thrilling Wednesday report, see man: Embedded ourself at half-past 2 a.m., night owl we man. Lay awake in stomach discomfort until finally dealing with it, oh poop man. Re-embedded ourself at half-past Many (2+2) a.m., really sucky hour man. Text (ignored) later awoke us, we man. Finally ex-bedded ourself at half-past Many (2x2x2 +2) a.m., delinquent we man. Mini-B. kept out of skool again, cough wee man. Ex-Mrs.-T-B. took him to CVS clinic and was recommended cough syrup, ingest wee man. Went to Costco Business Center, shop we man. Left with exactly the items on our list, self-disciplined we man. Breakfast/lunch/din-din (at Many [2+2] p.m.) was Modified Tuna Glop, ingest we man. Got e-mail from Mini-B.'s Band director, John Philip Sousa man. Band concert scheduled for precisely the eve we were to be out of town, man. Rearranged flight/car/hotel + 2 appointments, rearrange we man. During intense rearrangement process, Mama T-B. phoned us Many (2+1) -- si man, Many (2+1) -- times, man. Nothing formally scheduled for Thursday except Hallowe'en, no man. Party with the rubias tonight, cavort we man. And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.
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VAWA, Part 27
TBoneTX replied to TBoneTX's topic in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits
It is Wednesday, and close to Election Day, so here is our politically oriented Semiofficial Semiweekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== A POLITICIAN IN THE VILLAGE A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were. "We have two basic needs, honorable sir," said the villager leader. "First, we have a hospital, but no doctor." Upon hearing this, the politician brought out his phone. After speaking for a while, he told them, "Don't worry -- a doctor will be here tomorrow. What is your second problem?" "Second, sir, there is no cellphone reception anywhere in this village." -
JD Vance Warns Millions Of Women May Vote Under Influence Of Menstrual Madness CINCINNATI—Moments after he frantically nailed two-by-fours across the closed door of the bedroom he shares with his wife, vice presidential candidate JD Vance issued a dire warning Wednesday, alerting the public that millions of women may vote under the influence of menstrual madness. "If they are permitted to cast ballots, then we risk allowing the next president of the United States to be chosen by this crimson menace," said the Ohio senator, who [...] https://theonion.com/jd-vance-warns-millions-of-women-may-vote-under-influence-of-menstrual-madness/
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Dead Bird On Sidewalk Leads Man To Contemplate Own Inevitable Collision With Plate Glass CHICAGO—Realizing there comes a time when everyone crashes into a window, local man Danny Nagler told reporters Wednesday that a dead bird on the sidewalk had led him to contemplate his own inevitable collision with plate glass. "Seeing this bird's lifeless body lying here on the pavement, I can't help but be reminded that someday I too will slam headfirst into a large pane of glass at great speed," said Nagler, pondering how [...] https://theonion.com/dead-bird-on-sidewalk-leads-man-to-contemplate-own-inevitable-collision-with-plate-glass/
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NASA Discovers Potential Life On Mars After Giant Eyeball In Middle Of Planet Looks Directly Into Telescope BALTIMORE—In what astronomers called an alarming yet compelling observation, NASA officials announced Thursday the discovery of potential life on Mars after a giant eyeball in the middle of the planet looked directly into the James Webb Space Telescope. "We are excited to share telescopic evidence of a colossal, audibly blinking eyeball on the surface of Mars, a finding that suggests extraterrestrial life may be present," said NASA administrator Bill Nelson, explaining that [...] https://theonion.com/nasa-discovers-potential-life-on-mars-after-giant-eyeball-in-middle-of-planet-looks-directly-into-telescope/