TBoneTX

Sunday! Time for our Official Weekly VAWA-Thread Joke: =========================================== EXERCISE Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 88 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month. I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me. I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing. I joined a health club last year... spent about $250 to join. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you have to GO there. Every time I hear the dirty word "exercise," I wash out my mouth with chocolate. The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, "Well, he looks good, doesn't he!" If you're going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.

Man Just 17 Home Depot Trips Away From Purchasing Correct Light Bulbs FORT BEND, IN — After picking up a new pack of bulbs for the kitchen light fixture, local man Kyle Stephens was just 17 more trips to Home Depot away from having the correct light bulbs. Stephens quickly discovered that the bulbs he purchased had the wrong base, and so drove back to Home Depot for an exchange, bringing the number of trips before he had the right bulbs down to 16. "Welp, that should do it," proclaimed Stephens [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/man-just-17-home-depot-trips-away-from-purchasing-correct-light-bulbs

Keir Starmer Admits He Has No Idea How To Pronounce His Own Name LONDON — Prime Minister Keir Starmer, amidst calls for his immediate resignation, sheepishly admitted to having no idea how to pronounce his own name. "I've given a lot of you people flak for getting it wrong, but the truth is I haven't the foggiest idea how it's pronounced either," Starmer said. "I don't even know how to spell it." Is it pronounced "Keer" as in "beer" and "Starmer" as in "farmer"? Or should everyone all be calling him "Greg" or something? The truth remains unclear. Starmer's family [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/keir-starmer-admits-he-has-no-idea-how-to-pronounce-his-own-name

Letter to the Editor in Connecticut Asks Question No One Seems Interested in Answering Connecticut passed its Glock ban, which doesn't just impact Glocks. They did it, as per usual, in the name of public safety, all while failing to ignore the facts that criminals aren't supposed to have guns in the first place and that the full-auto switches are illegal to buy, own, or possess without very specific licenses that most people will never have. They passed it just the same. In Connecticut, though, one letter to the editor took issue with a bit of hate thrown at a state lawmaker because of a simple question that no one seems interested in answering. [...] https://bearingarms.com/tomknighton/2026/05/15/letter-to-the-editor-in-connecticut-asks-question-no-one-seems-interested-in-answering-n1232543

More on the above. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ UK Police Let a Man Die Because His Killer Said He Was Racist [...] his killer told them that the victim, Henry Nokak, said racist things. Novak was bleeding out, but the police handcuffed him and didn't give him aid until he collapsed. All it took was the accusation of racism for the police to put the bleeding man in handcuffs and take a statement from the killer about how evil he was. [...] https://hotair.com/david-strom/2026/05/15/uk-police-let-a-man-die-because-his-killer-said-he-was-racist-n3814991

Comments, especially from our computer gurus? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Here's How Seriously the US Took Digital Security on President Trump's Trip to China The Trump administration has reportedly made digital security a top priority as President Trump and his team participate in high-stakes talks with China. The administration reportedly issued burner phones and laptops to the entire American delegation, and once the trip concluded, even souvenirs received in China, including pins, were collected and disposed of as officials boarded Air Force One. Burner phones were issued to everyone from White House staff and Cabinet officials to reporters, Secret Service agents, and even the more than dozen American tech CEOs on the trip. The Trump administration also reportedly [...] https://townhall.com/tipsheet/dmitri-bolt/2026/05/15/heres-how-seriously-the-us-took-digital-security-in-china-during-high-stakes-beijing-summit-n2676153

Hmm... 56,000 miles -- that's 2 or 3 Stacey Abramses... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Recently Discovered Asteroid Will Sweep Past Earth at Close Range on May 18 — Here's What to Know A newly discovered asteroid, getting closer to Earth by the day, will soon fly past our planet. Asteroid 2026 JH2, only just spotted for the first time on May 10, 2026, is already on track to pass Earth on Monday, May 18, 2026. The asteroid will reach within a little over 90,000 km (56,000 miles) from Earth, closer than most asteroids that sail near Earth. While the upcoming flyby of 2026 JH2 may seem a little close for comfort, astronomers have confirmed that it won't hit Earth. Those who want to catch the close approach in action will be able to watch 2026 JH2 in the sky with amateur telescopes on Monday. [...] https://www.discovermagazine.com/recently-discovered-asteroid-will-sweep-past-earth-at-close-range-on-may-18-here-s-what-to-know-49112

One Senate RINO down. John Cornyn has 10 days to join him. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Louisiana Voters Just Ended Bill Cassidy's Senate Career After Two Terms and One Key Vote Bill Cassidy voted to convict Donald Trump in February 2021. Louisiana Republicans spent five years deciding what to do about it. On Saturday, they gave their answer. Cassidy, who has represented Louisiana in the U.S. Senate since 2015, did not finish in the top two of the Republican primary. He will not advance to the June 27 runoff. His Senate career is over. [...] https://redstate.com/joesquire/2026/05/16/cassidy-loses-louisiana-senate-primary-runoff-set-n2202409

About time. ~~~~~~~~~ U.S. Eliminates ISIS Leaders in Terror-Plagued Nigeria, Including ISIS's Number Two American and Nigerian forces coordinated to eliminate leaders of the Islamic State terror group, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced on May 16. Hegseth's Saturday X post confirmed, "Last night U.S. forces, in coordination with the Armed Forces of Nigeria, killed Abu-Bilal al-Minuki and other ISIS leaders." Donald Trump previously targeted Islamic terrorists in Nigeria on Christmas Day, citing genocide against Christians in the country as his reason, but this marks the first major U.S. strike against Nigerian jihadis since then. [...] https://pjmedia.com/catherinesalgado/2026/05/16/usa-eliminates-isis-leaders-in-terror-plagued-nigeria-n4952933

All income would be taxed, so poo to that.

Kamala Harris is at it again [...] "This is a moment when there are no bad ideas," former Vice President Kamala Harris said this week on a podcast produced by the political activist group Win With Black Women. Harris proposed what she called a "No bad ideas brainstorm." "And in that no bad ideas brainstorm, we talk about what we need to do, and think about doing, around the Electoral College," she continued. "We talk about the idea of Supreme Court reform, which includes expanding the Supreme Court. … [And] let's talk about statehood for Puerto Rico and D.C." [...] https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/daily-memo/4571194/kamala-harris-at-it-again/

This is some of the best news ever. Read especially the last 2 text paragraphs. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IDF confirms death of Hamas military chief following Gaza strike Hamas military leader Izz ad-Din al-Haddad was killed in an Israeli strike on Friday in the Gaza Strip, the IDF confirmed on Saturday, following an earlier Reuters report that Hamas had confirmed his death. IDF Chief of Staff Lt.-Gen. Eyal Zamir described the operation as a "significant operational achievement." "In every conversation I held with the hostages who returned, the name of the arch-terrorist Izz ad-Din al-Haddad, one of the chief perpetrators of the October 7 massacre and the head of Hamas' military wing, came up again and again," Zamir said in a statement released on Saturday. "Today, we succeeded in eliminating him." [...] https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/article-896332

Thrilling Saturday non-GS/ES report, see man: Despite our HSM, awoke pained, albeit shortly before alarm, some consolation man. Got our carcass moving shortly after Many (2x2x2 +1) a.m., minor miracle man. Weather was hot but breezy & more-than-half cloudy, tolerable man. Traffic rather light for a Saturday, but bored constables were flying, never seen so many man. T-B.-mobiled to festival but saw no parking anywhere at all, to be expected man. Proceeded with GS-/ES-ing, proceed we man. Stopped partway through at favorite remote thrift shop, just after opening man. Got a t-shirt for us & 2 pairs socks for Mini-B., no major finds man. We spent $Many-&-a-half ($2+2+2 + half a buck), OK man. Breakfast/lunch/din-din was at favorite remote Chinese buffet, visit we man. We consumed Many (2+1) plates piled with pepper steak minus the peppers, ingest we man. Price has gone up something like $Many -- si man, $Many -- since our last visit, man. Continued GS-ing and fruitless ES-ing, intrepid we man. Near the casa, finished Two Guys Week grocerying, grocery we man. Returned to casa exhaustedly after Many (2x2x2 -1) hours out, long day man. We had T-B.-mobiled precisely Many (2x2x2x2x2x2x2) miles, intrepid we man. Serviced indignant miu, It's Past Time For Miu-Service Daddy miu man. Drank entire Many-ounce bottle of Powerade Zero grape, imbibe we man. Took highly restorative shower, Clean for Gene we man. While grocerying, we had bought 2 bags of "guacamole tortilla cheaps,"* purchase we man. *WUOC, F$WM We sampled some, ingest we man. They are like pure chili powder, 🔥 man. We have never ingested guacamole that tastes like that, no ever ingest we man. We will have to swap them for something palatable, wow man. Siesta attempted with initial success, awaken before alarm we man. Re-serviced demanding miu, re-service miu we man. Mama T-B. left phone message, listen we man. She finally tried her newly Rx'd heap heap HEAP HEAP HSM, finally man. She was coherent but in no way aysheep, we like this HSM already man. Mini-B. out at movies with ex-Mrs.-T-B., again spend $ unnecessarily ex-she man man. We have been bugging him to arrange his caucus with classmates, bug we man wee man man. This is for a crucial year-end Algebra project, national language of Algeria man. We will bet $Many in cash money that he/they won't get it done, man. Nor will ex-Mrs.-T-B. probably put the hammer down effectively, no man. Bro G has been deathly silent after our news broke of ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s new boyfriend, Nuevo Rojo man. We suspect that Bro G is mired in nonstop depressive imbibing over this news, suspect we man. No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man. No Sunday plans other than our LL, warsh-dishing, and visiting Mama T-B. man. And that was/is our thrilling Saturday, report we man.

Then we shouldn't let USCIS capture ours.

Saturday GS/ES report, see man: We attended Many (2+2+1) GSs, not all the same as itineraried however man. We attended Many (2+1) ESs, see man: -- one, we never had a realistic prayer of making, early closure time man -- one, we were there 2 hours early and they were already packing up, unprofessionals man The first (!) GS and the Many'rd ES yielded the following, see man: -- Many (2x2x2 +2) warshcloths/dish rags = free*, heavenly man *we will sell these to ex-Mrs.-T-B. or save them for Mama-ex-Mrs.-T-B., si man -- NIP Scope mouthwarsh, 2 bath towels, spiral notebook, box of Ziploc sandwich bags = $Many ($2+2+1), steal man Total = $Many ($2+2+1)