csh2020

Thank you everyone for helping me navigate this process. Update: she showed up yesterday evening at a local meeting place and the process server served her. She kept saying that she was planning to come home yesterday and that she would never sign. I told her that her signature is not needed for a default divorce. She didn't make a scene but left immediately and blocked me on social media. Needless to say, last night was horrible because I do love this woman (it would be much easier if I didn't) but right is right at the end of the day. What has to be done has to be done. I don't want to harm anyone. I just want my daughter and me to be safe and okay and to move on. So, I guess the best thing to do now is let my attorney do his job and for me to begin channeling my energy into self-improvement so that I can be the father that my daughter needs and so that someone better may come along when the time is right. Feeling melancholy this morning but I will survive it. Thanks for your support because I truly feel part of this community and you all are awesome for that!

Keep you fingers crossed that today will go smoothly. I'm not looking forward to it at all. She and I are scheduled to meet in a public place for our "Monday meetings" and there, the process server will show up with divorce papers. After that, I'm blocking her because I'm pretty much done with the games and charades. What happens from that point forward is on her. My daughter and I were fine before I met her. We had housing for my pastoral salary. Now, that is in jeopardy. So, I'm angry with what this woman has put us through. After being done with this, I'll have to explain to the church board why I married a person whom I barely knew without coming to them first for wise counsel. The impulsive move nearly resulted in my removal and, after this, it likely will. There is a high probability that my daughter and I will have to locate housing because of this. This person was only interested in papers regardless of who is hurt in the process. That's just me thinking out loud. We'll make it through this but it's a process.

Thank you Ontarkie. Some of the things you said really made me think because it fits with the things that she has been saying. Yesterday, as I was working out, I got a text from her saying that she is really sick (bleeding in pain) and if I could take her to the doctor and for her to spend the night tonight and go back tomorrow (supposedly she is 2 hours away). (It's convenient for her to be sick after machine gun texting about coming home all evening). When she made that request, the only thing I could think of is what you had said about her trying to set up a VAWA. I had to go fully stoic, and I sent her a screenshot of the insurance card and told her to take herself and that I will see her Monday (when I plan to have her served with the divorce papers). Of course, she responded as one could imagine. Guilt tripping. But I ignored her. Stayed the course and said that I will see her Monday. Yes, I've got to shut off the emotions and get this done or my daughter and I both could end up paying a price. I'm pretty much done. Like I said, I'm exhausted with it and tired of this game. It's getting boring really fast.

Even with an EAD/SSN Card? I guess I still don't understand the asylum process. But why the sudden change of heart just as she gets her cards? It seems convenient and makes no sense.

Coach? I'm not sure who that might be? What do you mean by referring to "coach?" I'm not trying to sound naive but I really don't know what that is.

When TPS is canceled, what does that mean for her EAD/SSN (which says for employment purposes only).

Thank you all for your help and advice. I literally have no one to talk to about this and it is the most difficult experience of my life. My attorney doesn't seem to know since he is not an immigration attorney and is merely focused on the divorce.

She said that she can still be deported having an EAD/SSN.

Maybe I'm over thinking, Ontarkie. But what paperwork are you referring to? She has her EAD and SSN card; thanks to the work I did for her in getting it. I'm not sure which paperwork? You raise some great points here because she already said that it was "dangerous" living with me because she perceives that I yell at her - though I don't. If you knew me personally, you would see how absurd that statement is. I am extremely passive. I'm thinking she will be wanting me to help her with employment and obtaining a driver's license. She knows I have several connections here being a teacher and pastor in my birthplace/hometown.

Whenever I see her, it is difficult because I do love her, but I know I'm being played. What's interesting is that she barely texts me and since last night she has machine gun texted me one text after another now that she is ready to come home. But I notice a theme threading all of her texts and that is work-centered. She even said that she wants to get a job to allow her to spend more time with me. She said that after having been away for nearly 6 weeks and 15 hours a day 4-5 days a week, while here. Spend more time with me. That is almost absurd.

I don't have peace about it.

She is talking about coming home. Is she is doing that then where is the logic in her coming home? I don't understand that part? It also doesn't make sense the sudden change of heart once she gets her documents as to why she wants to come home. The good thing is that she has been texting me all morning talking about coming home but her focus is mainly on employment. So, if she tries something like that, then I have texts proving that she tried to come home. I also have her recorded audibly offering me $3000. I'm protecting myself.

Yes but I don't understand why I am playing with fire? I just turned the cards over to her is all.

How am I playing with fire? Help me understand. I already turned them over to her because I had no idea I should have returned them?

Hello everyone. Can I give you an update and ask for your input? She doesn't know that I have hired an attorney because I'm trying to get her served and if she disappears, that would be impossible to do. Her EAD card came and SSN card a few days afterward. Suddenly, she is ready to come home after having been in Timbuk 2 (no man's land) for nearly six weeks. Even now, she refuses to tell me where she has been staying and working. She is saying that she wants to find a job to allow her to spend more time with me. Yet, she had no problem with near zero communication for six weeks - only an hour or two on Mondays. The plan was to have her served this coming Monday. As of yesterday, she wouldn't tell me where she was because she thought I would turn her into ICE. Now, her reasoning is that I will look for her. I asked why that is a problem since I am her husband. I have no idea where she has been, what she has been doing, or who with. It has all been a barrage of secrets. It's interesting that she is now ready to come home now that she has her documents. But before receiving them, not even considering it. Thoughts?

I'm divorcing her and sent in the withdrawal of the I-130. It will most likely end in a default divorce judgment, since she will never sign. There were never any other petitions filled (like AOS) or nothing like that. Just the I-130 only and it was just sent December 2024. I'd prefer not to report this to ICE because I just want to wash my hands of the whole thing and let her deal with the consequences of her own behavior. She will fall on her own sword sooner or later. The only reason that I question if I should report it to ICE is to protect myself because I don't want it to look as though I was compliant as I truly believed that she loved me, but it was all a farce on her part. I'm hoping that withdrawing the I-130 petition and divorcing her is enough. She is in deportation proceedings and surely this will come back on her at some point. Also, would you recommend sending the final judgment of divorce, when granted, to UCSIS? My lawyer does not specialize in immigration law. He is just focused on the divorce.

As you can all imagine, this whole thing has been stressful for both my teenage daughter and myself. I have been tempted to report her to ICE, but my attorney advises to just focus on getting divorce and moving on. I will probably not date another immigrant in the future. In the future, I will probably only date Americans but that is not to say that all immigrants are bad people. It has just been a learning experience for me. She is the second immigrant I've been married to and both instances have gone sour. So, I guess I'm only going with Americans from this point forward to avoid all of this legal red tape and problems. Anyway, I have a saying: We can learn from the past or live in it. I choose to chalk it up as a learning experience. Thank you all for your help through this. I'm truly grateful for each of your input as it has helped me navigate this problem. The only thing I have left is dealing with the church and hoping that this vindictive person does not try to cause me any more problems. I say she is vindictive because she lied on her asylum application. She said she can't return to Nicaragua because she is was an activist in Nicaragua (not fitting to her personality) nor can she return to Costa Rica because of an abusive ex of 15 years although she was proclaiming her love for him on Facebook just weeks after her arrival to the US. My hope is that the US government catches this fraud because it is unjust for the immigrants who are properly vetted and enter the right and legal way. As for me, I simply want her out of my life completely because I honestly do not feel safe with her.

I'm sending the letter out to day to withdraw the I-130 petition and have already filed for divorce. She has yet to be served by the process server, which should be next Monday. My only question is the wording on the withdrawal letter. All I said was that the marriage was not viable, and she moved out without saying a word. Can this come back on me in anyway? I could say a lot because she actually offered money for me to continue helping her. No thank you. I just want her out of my life and whatever happens is now on her. I'm a father of a teenage girl and a teacher and pastor. I am just trying to live my life in peace and move past this chaos. Thanks for advising. I'm over this whole thing.

My lawyer is advising to wait until the divorce is filed. I have the letter notarized.

One cannot imagine what she has put me through. I truly had faith in this marriage, and I do love her, which is making it all the more difficult. She says she loves me but yet, won't come home or tell me where she is staying/working for fear that I will turn her in. Nothing I say will convince her that ICE would not come and pick her up just for a phone call, especially since she has a parole stamp/asylum petition pending. She said this morning via text that she will come home when she feels "safe" (and said to refer to our conversation yesterday- that she fears that I will call ICE). I can't help from thinking this is just another excuse to string me along.

The reason for the hesitancy is waiting until I had the funds to pay the attorney's retainer fee. I have it now. As I said, the only reason I'm continuing to meet with her is to keep her coming back in order to get her served. My attorney said that when she gets the divorce papers, she'll likely want to come home suddenly. He also advised to wait to cancel the I-130 when I have the divorce papers files and send them in with the letter. That is what he told me. I have an appointment with him on Thursday.

The only reason that I am meeting with her on Mondays is that I am trying to keep her coming back so that I can get her served. I have an appointment with my attorney this week and I have waited until I can pay his retainer fee. If she stops coming, then it will become more complicated to get her served. That is the only reason. I understand that I look like I have no common sense but, in fact, it is a strategy.

We met yesterday. She showed up with a Valentine's gift and telling me that she loves me. However, she says that she will come home when she has an appointment scheduled with USCIS because that will give her the security of not being deported. She states that she does not feel safe being home because she thinks I might call ICE. I explained that it isn't even an issue because her parole stamp/asylum petition makes it less likely that they would even pick her up anyway and besides, I'm not that kind of person. The issues here go beyond immigration - they are trust and communication - neither of which is present.

That's just it. I can't have her served if I don't know where she is. And furthermore, divorce by publication takes more time and costs more money. I may be placed in a position of having to find housing because of this situation and the less I can spend, the better off we will be. I have to think of my daughter.

UPDATE: I spoke with an attorney who told me that we would not qualify for an annulment in my state and that fraud on her part would be difficult to prove in court. He advised that I divorce her based on Inappropriate Marital Conduct and that she just needs to be served through a process server, and it will result in a default divorce without a signature needed on her part. She refuses to sign because she is equating this the termination of the marriage with deportation. I still have no idea where she is staying and working. She still wants to have our "Monday dates" to "get to know me better." However, she rarely texts. Three days went by and all I got was "good morning" at 7:30 am. Nothing else. Radio silence. My attorney recommended that I play along with the Monday dates in order to get her here. If she stops coming, then I will have no way to get her served and the process becomes more difficult and more expensive. He recommends serving her on a "Monday date." The reason I have to wait is to get the money to pay the attorney - which will be the 18th. Remember that she has a parole stamp with an asylum case pending. Her court date is scheduled for 2026. She told me that she has a "proposition" for me. If I will file for her EAD, then she will come back home or sign the divorce papers, whichever I prefer. After trying to argue with me for over an hour over other issues, she started becoming affectionate when I pulled up the UCSIS website and even hugged me and sent me a picture last night and back to telling me she loves me and calling me sweetheart. She said that doing so will "prove" to her that I truly love her and that I have changed. I'm thinking that spending thousands of dollars on a wedding and how I treat her should be proof enough. The only concern that I have at this point is that I learned through a friend that she has been talking to that she is trying to say that I was abusive to her. I have never touched her in any inappropriate way whatsoever. I treated her like a queen. My attorney advised me not to worry about it because it is just hearsay, and no reports were ever filed or calls made. And in fact, she continues to meet with me and text me. I also learned that the reason that she won't tell me her whereabouts is that the is afraid that I'm going to call ICE. I explained to her several times that, since she has a parole stamp and a pending asylum case, that they are very unlikely to pick her up anyway. Personally, I just want peace and that is what I thought I would have with her. I will say that this is the last immigrant that I will even consider because I'm pretty much done with dealing with immigration.