jadmac

There’s a little from this discussion I had about a year ago.
 
Also, perhaps it is different for you as you are self employed, but I applied to make voluntary NICs as an employed person last August. HMRC JUST replied to me this week. Hopefully I’ll get the reply in the mail this side of Christmas. 

Why don’t u travel, come back and then file for I-751 ? U don’t have to file exactly on august 18th. 

Personally, because the extension letter would be likely to arrive while you are on vacation, I would not want to be be away from my mail box. The extension letter becomes a priceless possession after November 16. There is literally no amount of money you can spend to replace it.
 
Every time USPS informed delivery has told me mail from USPS was coming and it failed to arrive, I immediately went  to my post office to track down.
 
An extension letter is a hassle but life without it is unbearable.
 
yes you can. The extension letter is not needed until the physical card expires. 
 
first class mail
2 weeks or less most of the time. 

I would just file after the trip.

Do it after your trip, there is absolutely no need to do it the exact day of. Take your time to prepare your packet!

OP, I am sorry you are dealing with this. Your husband needs to realize that keeping your marriage secret is not sustainable, not fair to you, and puts unneeded pressure/strain on your relationship. Marrying you means you are also his family now. He made that choice, and should accept everything that comes with it. Perhaps his parents will react badly once they know, but the sooner they are aware the sooner you can both work through the issue together instead of forcing you to shoulder this burden. I don't think lying to them/omitting the truth is going to help matters at all.
 
Good luck going forward, and as others have said, you don't need to worry about your immigration status. 

Thanks for clarifying, OP.
 
You need not worry about your immigration status. Even with a divorce, you would be able to keep your green card and eventually become a citizen. There is no reason for you to tolerate ill treatment or remain in an unhappy relationship, for the sake of your immigration status, as it is not in danger.
 
On the immigration side of things, key is that the marriage was real while it lasted, and that’s what you will need to prove, should it dissolve. So best to document everything. But rest assured, USCIS can understand that marriages don’t always last. 

Do they know what he sponsored you to come to the USA?  That's a pretty big thing and not like it happens overnight. 
 
I agree.  It's his parents that have the issue.  He has chosen to unite with you in marriage.  Marriage is supposed to be forever.  If he is unwilling to defend the relationship, then what else is he unwilling to do for you?  
 
I'm curious, too.  Where's the defense of the partnership and why is this even an issue?  

You can refuse to leave, its your home. Not theirs.
You have to decide if this is the way you want to live your life.
If it was me and I couldnt work out a resolution to this I would leave and move on. You cant force people to accept your lifestyle. 
This is not a immigration issue, you already have your greencard, this is a relationship issue and should be delt with accordingly. Dont let your spouse make it into one.
 

You have all the rights of a human being in a marriage in the USA without immigration status coming into play. End of story. You should not evaluate this from an immigration standpoint AT ALL because it is not. 
 
Good luck.

Your partner is going to have to have a direct discussion with his parents and sort this out. Better now than later. Kicking the can down the road is just going to make things worse.

Telling us they do not know about the marriage is enlightning
does this mean the family will not invite u for family affairs like Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners?
are u suppose to remain out of the way during weddings and funerals ?
 
they need to know
you need a long hard discussion with your partner and he needs to have a long hard discussion with his parents
Basically ,  it is your partner that  has left u out of his family ,   not his parents 
they may not like the marriage but they eventually will find out and they aren't going to like being kept in the dark/ uneed to make your partner understand that  

Hi and thanks for the input....

I think it's a case of him not wanting to offend or risk his relationship with his parents tbh. 

The parents visit a few times a year and are coming to stay in the house for at least a week each time. 

But yeah, ultimately, it's only tolerable for so long, nobody should be expected to live like this, hence my reservations! 
 

That makes perfect sense. Still sucks but now I understand better. 
He hasn't even told them about you. That hurts, and I think he is putting too much focus on their so called Christian/conservative beliefs. They didn't walk away from him when he came out, then he needs to give them a chance to figure out their own thoughts about being married. Stop putting his own fears of how his parents will react and let them figure it out on their own. Sorry not what you asked. 
 
Yes immigration wise you are safe. Talk to your husband and explain to him that he needs to have a heart to heart with his parents.

Is it your husband who is pressuring you to leave because he thinks it would make it easier for his parents while visiting? 
If this is coming from your husband and not the in-laws then he needs to suck it up. It's him he is worried about not them. If they are coming to visit their son who they know is in a same sex marriage then they are not the ones with the issues. He is and he needs to learn how to be the son and husband as an adult not a child of his parents. They seem to be open enough to want to visit. That says a lot and they probably want to get to know you also and see how happy their son is. 
 
Now if this is the in-laws that are requesting this then all bets are off. Their son is in a same sex marriage and they need to overcome their stuffiness or not visit. 
 
Now for a little very short story. 
I have a friend with a very toxic mother in law. She does pack up and gets out of dodge when she comes around. She tried for years and took so much abuse from this woman it is crazy. My friend's husband will not cut his mother out of their lives so she leaves and takes a little vacation while he struggles with his mother and the 3 kids. The mother in -law  will turn everything around to be about her and blame my friend. Her husband has stood up to his mother and she has stormed off, made all kinds of woe is me stuff on FB to make my friend out to be the bad guy and how she turned her son out against her. They even moved across country to get away from her and she still pulls this stuff. See why my friend takes a vacation  she needs it. Anyway, this is not your situation and you want to be around. You just need to find out what is the right path for you. Like my friend and her husband you said you also have a great relationship the rest of the time. So once or twice a year to my friend a little break is no big deal. 

Our property alone...its not a case of them not wanting to visit etc, it's just that they are extremely conservative and don't agree with their sons lifestyle etc 
No idea what you are referring to but don't appreciate my bloody situation being trivialised. 

 

So first all thanks for everyone's responses. 

Second of all, I'd just like to clarify that in my mind it is related to CR1 since I only hold a conditional green card, so I feel insecure in my current situation for that reason, hence why I posted it here. 

Second of all, obviously being the foreigner and on a conditional green card I don't feel like I can rock the boat too much. 

Hi guys, 

So I am in a complicated situation, essentially me and my spouse are fine...however, his parents are extremely religious and anti-gay, so I am essentially being pressurised to leave the property when on a CR1 visa whilst they visit. However, I don't want to and feel that I am being forced to surrender my own values so that he doesn't cause animosity with his parents. 

What options are available to me? Do I have to just accept this? 

Sure, that's an easy stance to take, but I don't want to force him to burn bridges with his parents? 

What would you do in my situation? 




 

I'm a green card holder 
You're a lot of help!!! 

I'm a green card holder 
You're a lot of help!!! 

Our property alone...its not a case of them not wanting to visit etc, it's just that they are extremely conservative and don't agree with their sons lifestyle etc 
No idea what you are referring to but don't appreciate my bloody situation being trivialised. 

 

Sure, that's an easy stance to take, but I don't want to force him to burn bridges with his parents? 

What would you do in my situation? 




 

I guess you wanted to say you were insecure.
They cannot have you deported for this. 
This is between you and your spouse. It seems that there are more than two people in this relationship. 
At this point all you have to do is to think of what makes you happy 

CR1 is a single entry immigrant visa and not relevant to your situation.