First
1) you make the decision to move to US.
2) Until Step is underway .. just live life in Amsterdam
3) Once step 1 is underway get married in netherlands. you can file for CR1 spouse visa which take about 2-3 years if you start today.
No there is no permit /visa that allows for spouses to stay for that long. he can apply for H1b visa ( you need to know the process) which allows him to stay in US for 3-6 years as himself . this means he needs to work for that employer during that period in US with in/out privileges.
Also netherlands does not allow dual citizenship fyi