I was missing my Old Lady something fierce yesterday. She's been gone 7 months, but she was my soul cat baby for 18 and a half years. I have photos of her laying just out of reach of Kid1 when she was an infant. They really did grow up together.
@Lemonslice Devon Rex's? My friend had a Devon. She thought she had 2 of them, but I swear the second one was a Cornish Rex. We used to chuckle about his moobs (man boobs) lol! Her female was more the size and shape of yours where as the boy was longer and more lanky. I joke that their wavy fur reminds me of the perms the little old ladies used to get - the tight waves that seem to go on forever.
Animals know when you're not as calm as you're trying to behave. I will say around fireworks time, the older cats were chill and unbothered, the dog was a little bit nervous but we were unbothered so now, as long as she's in the house, she's chill. Monty cat is still nervous when people start popping them off. As long as he's curled up with me, he's OK though.
Frank used to ride in a backpack carrier with no issues. We used to walk the trail that way. Then he went through a period of peeing every time we tried to stick him in his carrier. We got used to taking him outside, allowing him to roll on the concrete and then get ready to shove him in the carrier. He'd start to pee, so you'd have to dodge the stream. Absolute nightmare. Anyway, he wasn't eating properly last month so I had to take him to his soul vet (yes, his vet absolutely adores him...she LOVES to see him and has such a soft spot for him). We took him out to roll, expecting him to pee, but he didn't actually fight the carrier and by Frank standards, went in reasonably uneventfully. I had to take him back a couple of days ago (he started Solensia shots, which have made a dramatic improvement in his life - he has arthritis in his back and this definitely helps) to get his monthly shot and we went in a bit more reluctantly, but no pee and no real arguments and he only complained once on the drive.
@TBoneTX I'm with @Lemonslice - have you tried either suspending Miu or purritoing Miu for a pawdicure? If you search "cat restraints for grooming" on Amazon, all the options come clear. Or, if she's that big of a challenge to you, have you searched somewhere like NextDoor to see if there's a vet tech that would come to you? Or even a mobile groomer could be of use.