NoMansLand2020

We met twice prior to covid. Then the Philippines was locked down for over two years. We didn't have a chance to meet there again and getting her and the kids anywhere was impossible.

I have hired a family law attorney and currently working to draft up a divorce petition. I have twelve pages plus of documentation of events, dates, audio and video as well as photos of things that happened. As well as video evidence of the baby being left home alone. I know many petitioners are retirees and close to that age, but I'm still quite young and have my entire life ahead. I don't want to be stuck paying for her and her two minor children to live forever because I signed some affidavit of support. Technically it's 32k at 125% poverty level. Since our marriage was only two years, my lawyer says, alimony will most likely not be awarded. I don't live in a 50/50 state. But I feel it's either deal with the ####### and ongoing neglect of our baby, or divorce and be stuck paying according to the Affidavit of Support. There's no way out. I had no idea she was going to be this way, she certainly didn't act like this when we met and during our courtship.

Even if she's abusive? So what this says is that you have no out. I'm either stuck in an abusive marriage or divorced and still being abused. I understand if she has no means to work and support herself or her kids, but she has the means to do so.

We've been married just two years and I'm filing for divorce. I can't stand my wife. I've fallen out of love and don't like the way she treats me. She's also been neglecting our baby. She has two kids of her own that I'm a step parent to, but never adopted. She's dead set on fighting the divorce and says she doesn't have to work and expects me to support her and her two kids for the next ten years because of the Affidavit of Support I filed on their behalf. She does have an education and she is working, so she has the ability to support herself. Am I expected to support her for ten years when she's capable of working? For her sake and the sake of her kids she should be working. As I am asking for sole custody of our baby, she would be required to pay child support.

Yes, for non K1 and some other s. It's not required for K1/K2 as long as you file for AOS within a year of your medical abroad. It even states this on the I-693 form.

We have three months to respond and getting an appointment here is a piece of cake. So I'm good waiting a month and see what happens. If the RFE gets cancelled, I've saved myself nearly $2500

I've seen a lot of people get this same email, including my wife and 2 k2 children who are adjusting from K1/K2. We got an RFE about a month later. I've seen people who received this same RFE and a week later or so, the RFE is cancelled even when they didn't submit a response. I'm currently going to ignore the RFE for a few weeks and see what happens. One visit to the Civil Surgeon is expensive enough. I don't want to pay 3x, especially when the I-693 is not required in our case.

Who has successfully adopted their Filipino step children? What was the process that you followed and how complicated was it? My spouse has two children whom she had with an ex boyfriend in the Philippines. They were never married. The biological father has not been in the picture for 4+ years. He pretty much abandoned the kids. One child's birth certificate lists him as the father. My spouse has no idea where he would be nor how to contact him. I spoke to an attorney today and he said the father would have to give up his rights and that we would most likely have to go to the Philippines to serve him. But since he is not familiar with the laws of the Philippines he cannot offer much help. He further said it would be an international adoption and that I am looking at upwards of 25k to adopt each one. None of this makes sense to me. Why would my step children who have lived in the US with me and their mother for over a year be considered as an international adoption? I further thought that single Filipino mothers have sole custody of their illegitimate children. And furthermore understood that parents who have abandoned their children have relinquished their parental rights.

That's hogwash. She could lie 100%. And blame me for everything. She has no proof of anything.

And how will they be able to corroborate her story? Otherwise anyone could claim VAWA.

Not when she says she's only married me out of pity and that she would divorce me as soon as she gets her GC. Not to mention that she's got a temper and has thrown things around the house, especially when I was holding a 2 month old baby. I may have punched her in the shoulder a year ago, but she also stuck her hand in my face while I was driving and nearly caused me to hit some pedestrians.

I've set up some appointments with a few attorneys to see what my options are.

I don't want to have to fork over any assets or monies. Especially if she married me out of pity. We don't have any joint assets. She's not on any titles. I'd be more than happy to pay for her to get home and maybe a few thousand to help out until she's able to get going. Because she's going back to nothing. No house, no job. Since I'm not a legal parent to the older two kids, ages 7 and 9, I don't feel responsible for child support. We've only been married 1 year this month. I sure hope she wouldn't be allowed to take our 3 month old. Those kids would go back to absolutely nothing... No stability, no friends, poor education and poor health care.

Can I withdraw the petitions, but forego filing for divorce? Am I legally required to divorce her?

If I withdraw her petition and now the kids' what happens in that situation? I haven't adopted them and she said she wouldn't let me until she received her GC. I love the kids, and I don't want to lose them. But I don't know if I can continue with the marriage. I don't want to be vindictive either. She's told me many times that she married me out of pity. How does divorce work if she goes back to the Philippines if the petition is withdrawn? Will the courts still require me to send her alimony and assets like retirement and property?

If I withdraw her affidavit of support, will she be deported? And if she goes back to the Philippines would I have to get divorced? Not sure of the legalities involved.

Baby was born in the US. But from what I have read, because her mother was still technically a Filipino citizen, the baby would have dual citizenship.

The baby's birth has not been registered neither does the baby have a passport

It's all Facebook and Tiktok stuff.

Nothing like this, no. But she has thrown things around when we were arguing. I was holding the baby a month and she got upset and threw a TV table tray in my direction.

They are K2. But the AOS process is individual. They have separate AOS packet. The kids do not want to go back to the Philippines. Not that I want to separate anyone, but they won't have much of a life going back to the province.

I am my ends rope here. I married my Filipina barely on year ago and the constant fighting and arguing has reached its limit with me. I know that I have my issues, but I can't deal with the constant berating, and sense of entitlement that I get from my spouse. I never met someone so childish. I know that she does help out a bit with the kids, but she's constantly in her pajamas and laying around all day long on her phone. I've sought counseling, but when I offer invitation for my wife to accompany me, she refuses and believes our issues are all mine. We have one child together and the other two are hers. Her and her children are currently in the AOS phase and haven't received their green cards yet. She keeps stating that she wants to go back to the Philippines and I clearly believe her. I have not yet adopted her kids because we had to wait one year after they got here before I could file. I was anticipating doing that this year. But of course I would need her approval. If we do end up getting divorced, what are my legal responsibilities? If she takes off and goes back home, can she legally take all three children? I've read that court systems take into account the "best interests" when it comes to deciding where to place the children. I'm currently employed and make well over 100k per year. I have my own home and the older kids are enrolled in school and have amazing friends and my family here who have accepted them as their nephew, niece, and grandchildren. My wife on the other hand, if she were to go back to the Philippines has nothing. No money, no place to live, no means of support and poor education opportunities for the kids. Since they have not yet received green cards, I understand that I can rescind my Affadavit of Support for my wife without it affecting the children. I love her kids as my own and want very much to be their father. But I can't do that with my wife around.