DaveAndAnastasia

I mean, if they paid us like we lived in San Francisco, we could afford to stay in San Diego (we want to see my family more than 2-3 times a year, and PRGs at least once a year*). However, no one seemed willing to do this. New job is going pretty well three months in, and both PRG and I are fully remote (and I mostly work with people in Eastern time anyway). So that's fine. One time thing. * If flying from 'Murrica to Russia becomes possible again. If it's third-country meetups or workarounds to get into Russia (and as long as I'm working for a defense contractor, I think the latter is likely PRG traveling alone or with mini-Dave but without me) indefinitely, I think it'll probably be every other year, but want to make a third-country meetup this summer happen because it'll have been five years. Mini-Dave still has one living great-grandparent in Russia who we'd like to get to see him in person at least once, but that'll take going to Russia (if she were fifteen years younger, would be easier to convince to go outside of Russia than PRG's mom).

So since my last check-in here, we've - Visited the Raleigh area between Christmas and New Years (mini-Dave was informed that Santa knew we would be flying early Christmas morning and so stopped at our place on Christmas Eve) to evaluate potential relocation (we want a house with a yard, to be closer to my family, to save money, and we don't really have close friends or family out here). Parents drove up from Florida to meet us after Christmas morning with my brother and his wife and kid (even more mini than mini-Dave) and so got there the next day. Saw many houses (generally accompanied by papa-Dave while mini-Dave got some grandma time), checked out things to do for mini-Dave (children's museums, indoor playgrounds, parks). Had a good time, really liked the area, and concluded we could in fact get a nice many (2*2) - bedroom house with almost twice the square footage of our townhouse in a good school district for less than we paid for our townhouse. Found a couple places we really liked, though as the one we liked the most had the highest list price, we wanted to see what we could get for our place before making any offers. - Talked to realtor we used to buy our place about selling, concluded we could probably get $many00,000. Did a bunch of touch up work and minor repairs, got pictures taken. Realtor suggested we could raise listing price based on interest levels. Got multiple offers for $many many 0,000, and accepted one after just one weekend with our place on the market. - Made an offer for the place we liked the most (still on the market, yay), but ended up needing to slightly revise that upward to get the place (which we did). - Made all sorts of arrangements with movers, car rental places, hotels, and such to get ready to move - So now after almost many (2*2*2*2 + 2*2*2 - 1) years in San Diego, I'm leaving. With as much as I moved around between middle school and two years after college, I never really expected to be in city that long, to be honest.

Here's me about to cut the cheesecake. Pictures of the rest of dinner also have my niece and nephew in them, no posting pictures of other people's kids without their permission and too lazy to crop them... Oh, they were good when they were mom-food too (when we were kids we usually had Thanksgiving with mom's family, with most or all of her many -- 2*2*2+2 -- siblings, their spouses, and so many of my many cousins -- not really sure how many, but there were a lot even if the youngest of them weren't around yet; every family brought something so there was quite a lot of food even given the number of people eating). * does not confuse computers, who can't tell a letter x from a times sign x, so what I default to for multiplication. Programmer, man. Hoping I can get the whole family to Casa-DA some holiday season, though my other siblings and their families may be more difficult even if we move closer to them (one brother and his wife have jobs that make leaving town for the holidays difficult; other brother rarely visits everyone; other sister has other issues; and of course Vlad makes meeting the in-laws difficult these days).

Can't say much about new job; working for a defense contractor, classified, man. Would not accept a job that requires a security clearance without having an active one and while unemployed again; too long between offer and start of work so got very stressed out (and in the last month or so before I started, was sufficiently frustrated with nothing happening to start seriously interviewing elsewhere). Had many interviews, even many second interviews, only one actual job offer. Though a few got close right around when I got the initial offer and I declined to interview further, and a few around when it became clear I'd actually be starting with these guys. Me too, man. Parents, little sister and her family all back home now. Parents left casa-DA at about 5 am on Tuesday, early morning flight. Was great to see everyone. Thanksgiving dinner was successful despite green bean casserole falling out of the fridge and crashing into pieces. Veggie pot pie for non-meat eaters looked good, but I didn't try it; too much else and after one day of leftover-eating on Friday (combining Thanksgiving leftovers with Greek takeout leftovers from Wednesday) it was all gone. My turkey (pre-seasoned frozen turkey breast in a bag whose cooking steps were basically "put it in the oven"), non-gloop sugar-free cranberry sauce, and sugar-free pumpkin cheesecake were well-received, si man. Mama-Dave made the same rolls she'd made for almost every Thanksgiving that I can remember. Mini-Dave ate many (2 * 2) of them. Niece and nephew decided they weren't interested in going to the Safari Park, then were sick the next day, so saw them (and sister and brother-in-law) less than we'd hoped. Though we did go down to La Jolla Cove and saw the sea lions on Thanksgiving morning (mama-Dave finished rolls and rested), then had lunch at a place that was only serving breakfast food. Parking where I did was $many. Took mom and dad to Legoland with us instead of taking whole crew to Safari park (all non-Sandy Eggo people would have had free or half price tickets at the Zoo or Safari Park via our memberships), had fun and then had pizza and pasta buffet lunch (thanks to membership discounts and 3 year olds still being free at the buffet, surprisingly inexpensive for amusement park food; spent less than we did at Panera the next day). Papa-Dave accompanied us to Safari Park and Sea World, where we had free guest tickets, but mama-Dave wasn't up to walking that much. Then they had Monday on their own, dinner back at our place (made a sous vide tri-tip roast), and packing up to leave early. Papa-Dave was also able to help us fix a few things around the townhouse; more handy than us, si, man.

You're browsing using a phone, tablet, or a computer with a small monitor, so the formatting on my signature block (I couldn't figure out a good way to do multiple columns other than preformatted text; timeline takes pushes things out, maybe? Which is to say my posts look just like anyone else's for me, but, as someone who programs for a living and who back when I was a single guy with no life spent most of his free time in front of a computer too, I spent $many for a large, high-resolution primary screen many years ago. Anyway, I'll try reformatting my signature.

Need to do final Thanksgiving prep this weekend. Parents (from Florida, though they're driving around NorCal for a few days before coming down here), sister (from Colorado), her husband, and her kids are coming for Thanksgiving. Sister's kids kind of getting bored with Florida, so she's out here to see me for the first time since before she was married (and her oldest kid is a teenager somehow, so that's been many years). Fortunately, my sister's family will be at a hotel, not staying here; this place isn't that big :D. Staying where they just need to walk through the church parking lot to get here, good since parking near casa-DaveAndAnastasia is extremely limited. Have already acquired frozen turkey breast (since four people are vegetarians, mini-Dave is a preschooler, and my parents are old, we don't really need a lot of turkey). Also got some new furniture including a kitchen table that 9 people could reasonably sit around (at least if three of them are kids and the extra leaf is in). This weekend, will acquire stuff for pumpkin cheesecake (one cheesecake can serve 9; one pie cannot; PRG is very concerned about space in the fridge therefore wants to minimize leftovers; untraditional but understandable since due to various diets Thanksgiving dinner will be the only major meal we're cooking for everyone) and cranberries (real cranberries, not cranberry glop). Intention is for mama-Dave and anyone else who wants to make anything to make another grocery run on Wednesday. Parents arriving late Monday; gave them garage door app permissions, we'd normally be asleep by the time they get here even if they teleported from the plane to their rental car. They get to spend Tuesday on their own; we still have to work, and mini-Dave all day would tire them out. Sister's family arriving too late to meet for dinner Tuesday, they'll come by afterwards for a bit, I think. Also finally started new job two weeks ago, gainfully employed again, si man.

There were a decent number of unattended buckets of candy around us (including at our place; as PRG and I were both accompanying mini-Dave). If we were somewhere that got more than a handful of trick or treaters, though, and I were handing out in person ... teenagers need to be in costume or accompanying costumed younger siblings to get candy.

While out with mini-Dave, PRG, and neighbors (have little girl nine months younger than mini-Dave and even littler girl who's like six months old now -- also, babies seem much lighter now than they were three years ago), overheard some older tricker-treaters complaining about getting too many Reese's. I was like "most people buy candy they like so the leftovers won't be wasted, and everyone without a peanut allergy likes Reese's". Of course, this year bought candy mini-Dave likes instead as Halloween candy is bad for my diet, man; last year regressed five or ten pounds (still, down over forty pounds from when I started this back in August 2022) over the holidays, trying to avoid repeat. At any rate, mini-Dave had a good time trick or treating; didn't get scared off by the slasher-movie-villain at the super-decorated home this year (last year, daddy having a lightsaber and mommy dressed as Captain Marvel was apparently insufficient reassurance).

Unless processing times change radically and K-1s become much faster to get to the US again, or Utah Zoom marriages go away, there's basically no upside to a K-1 for most people unless you're just really uncomfortable living apart for an extended period while married (there are some exceptions; children aged 18-21 can be derivatives on a K-1 but not on a CR-1/IR-1, and there may be other legal corner cases I'm unaware of). When we did one, K-1s were significantly faster to the US, and the only way to get around the difficulties in legally marrying a foreigner in Russia would have been to get married in a third country that we wouldn't have visited otherwise (surprisingly in a lot of major European tourist destinations, two foreigners cannot legally marry quickly and easily, and I hadn't been aware before I started looking in to this that in a lot of 'destination weddings' the couple legally marries in the US first to get around that). But now you can do a Utah Zoom wedding if your fiancée's home country is difficult to actually legally marry in, and K-1s are not faster in processing time. And even pre-Covid, if you were living with your partner outside the US then a CR-1 usually made more sense unless you could legally marry in the US but not in the country you were living in.

Now, I was aware of the latter; that's why when Anastasia and I met in October 2018 (last time before she got her K-1 and came here) we spent a couple nights in Riga (she'd gotten a Schengen visa from Latvia because at the time Latvia would issue one without having to go to a consulate in person if you'd had a Schengen visa previously) before going on to Vienna.

I thought it was a single entry into the Schengen zone too (and am pretty sure it is, in fact).

Unless your fiancé(e) actually has legal residency there, it will probably be impossible to move your case to Costa Rica. All mail goes to the petitioner. Back when my wife's was processed and when Moscow was still processing K-1s, all communication with my wife (my fiancée then) was electronic; the only thing ever actually physically sent to her was her passport with her visa in it (and presumably if you're interviewing in a country you don't live in, there wouldn't even be that as you'd pick it up in-person, I think). It's been a while since I was paying a lot of attention to this stuff, but it should be automatically renewed in most cases when there was no possible way you could have interviewed before the expiration. Still, confirm this with whichever embassy/consulate is handling your case.

It can make things more difficult. It's all but guaranteed that you will not get your 10-year green card before your 2-year green card expires, which means the only proof of legal residence you'll have will be the extension letter. Usually that's not a big deal, but that can sometimes cause inconvenience particularly when dealing with people or companies not experienced with immigration processes.

Yup. That's exactly what my wife had. You request an appointment somehow when they announce the dates. The event they had last fall in LA was at a hotel near LAX. She was in and out in less than half an hour; we had an 11 am appointment and were in Orange County by lunchtime (not all the way back to San Diego, though).

It probably helped with the pre-EAD/green card limbo period for us that 1) We were only about a mile from a plaza with a grocery store; my American-suburb-raised background said that's a long walk, but Anastasia (used to walking or taking transit everywhere in Russia) thought that was fine 2) The first couple months we had a ceremony-like thing to plan 3) not long after that we found out she was pregnant (not surprisingly) 4) she actually got her green card pretty quickly ... but she didn't actually get her driver's license until this year. But the basics are that ... back when K-1s were reliably significantly faster to get to the US, and there were no Utah online marriages to get around difficult home country marriage laws there were lots of cases where K-1s made sense, despite the hardships in the pre-green card period (and indeed, that's why we did one when we did). But that's basically not true today, so barring some oddball corner cases (children who would be between 18 and 21 by the end of the process and want to come to the US with their parent, maybe a few others) or just really not wanting to live apart while legally married, there's no reason to do a K-1 anymore.

Apparently she saw it on the Russian Embassy in DC's Facebook page, but here's the most recent update and links: https://washington.mid.ru/ru/consular-services/consulate/consul_sessions/?fbclid=IwAR3bj9qHE7OLpdXCr2dSAEWrk7ckBdIDZhk8oMJI1SArp1PYQtFh5D3wR0Q https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=pfbid0QKSQmJSkgPmez5JqtTf49WNEZ2Fo94VrP6mFY1uBCfsojZEpNUokhT4LvYNC1Tryl&id=100069066524980&mibextid=Nif5oz

I think there's a mailing list or something; I'd need to ask Anastasia. After we skipped one in 2021 we were thinking we'd need to go to Houston or DC until the one we went to was scheduled.

To renew a Russian international passport, you're supposed to either need to go to a Russian consulate or embassy in person or the occasionally the embassy has an event in major US cities where they handle passport renewals and a few other things. My wife renewed hers when they came to LA last year (it had expired, but she had her green card and state ID by then and we didn't have plans to go outside the US). Only took about fifteen minutes (then waiting a couple months or so), so we were halfway back to San Diego by lunchtime. Though she got US citizenship a few months later, and her US passport a few months after that, so she probably won't use her new Russian passport until we can reasonably get back to Russia (between a new baby, Covid concerns, financial concerns, and side effects of the war in Ukraine, we haven't been to Russia since she came here in 2019).

We really need a groan emoji sometimes, si man.

PRG loves watching the dolphins, though. And there are plenty of places for mini-Dave to crawl around and have fun. I think Sea World San Diego has more rides than the other locations, though I was only to the Texas one on a high school band trip (so many years ago), don't remember ever being to the Orlando one, I can't even imagine why I'd ever be in Abu Dhabi (even getting to familia-PRG in Russia these days it'd be easier through Istanbul or Dubai), and the one in Cleveland closed a long time ago. Also, Sea World San Diego is cheaper than the San Diego Zoo. Granted, the San Diego Zoo and Safari Park (two parks, but run by the same people and one membership works for both, but the important thing for us is that the Safari Park is a short drive from casa-DA, not downtown) are the best zoos in the world.

Yes, but new job requires security clearance so waiting on that to start. Also, mini-Dave's daycare is closing; teacher expecting a baby. Found a new one that looks good, but they have a summer break in a few weeks so probably also waiting until after that to start my new job even if my security clearance is ready by then. Acquired Legoland passes (only the most expensive one really makes sense unless you're a stay out home parent or otherwise not working, man*; too many weekends blacked out on the lower levels) despite unemployment shortly after returning from mama-Dave and papa-Dave's 50th anniversary celebration because we were running out of things to do with him. Spent most of next two months going there on Saturday and Sunday, though have managed to dial things back some this month and go somewhere else one day a weekend. Also made a little trip up to LA-ish the weekend before the 4th. Went to the Aquarium of the Pacific (huge, and was fun) and a children's museum (was hot, so mini-Dave didn't play as much with the outdoor stuff as I'd expected but he still had fun), chose restaurant for lunch on first day by virtue of being next door and was actually a quite good seafood place (I had shrimp enchiladas, PRG had lobster mac and cheese); chose restaurant for dinner mostly by picking first open place that was listed as $$ instead of $$$ on Yelp by our hotel and was jam-packed little Italian place that was good too. Mini-Dave also approved of the hotel 🤣; asks when we can go again, man. * SeaWorld fun cards make basically no sense not to get unless you're visiting from out of town and won't be back; they're the same price as a list price ticket (though one person needs to get higher-level pass for the free parking or that adds up quickly) and the only blackout dates on Fun Cards are Saturdays in July and one day over Memorial Day weekend. San Diego Zoo + Safari park passes at the level we got (basically the lowest one that includes parking and doesn't have blackout dates) pay off after two visits even if grandma and grandpa don't come by to use the guest passes (which they did, though we've got some half-off tickets that almost certainly will go unused) and a kid's season pass is basically the same price as one ticket. But Legoland passes cost more than 3 tickets, kids over 1 are full price, and don't come with any free/discounted guest tickets even at the top level, though at least the 25% off food means eating at the park isn't silly🤣 so they need three visits to pay off.

Mini-Dave sometimes insists on choosing not only the flavor of ice cream he eats, but what mommy and/or daddy eat too. Generally partial to Tillamook's Monster Cookie (good, but prefer to mix things up occasionally). Sometimes gets upset if there's none left, so unless he's insisting (as per above), mommy and daddy get something else and leave that one for him. 🤣

It can in theory, but for most people it cannot in practice because short-notice international travel is in fact very expensive, and most employers frown on taking non-emergency time off on very short notice.

That works for "getting married". Doesn't help with the "being in the same place at the same time while married".

... well, 52 days plus however long it takes to get married as far as USCIS is concerned (aka legally married and have been together in-person while married) and have sufficient documentation of this to file the forms. With the possible exceptions of people in a literal cross-border romance with someone who either has a US tourist visa or doesn't need one people currently living together outside the US in a country where they can legally marry quickly people able to take international trips on very short notice (aka they have both the money and time for this) ... that's going to be a non-trivial amount of time.